From Future Wife:

When are you home tonight, jagiya?

So I know when to start dinner.

To Future Wife:

Don't know.

It's probably not a good idea for me to come home, actually.

Well, not after I tell you what I have to tell you.

For my own safety and the safety of our future children.

From Future Wife:

What?

Okay...

Is there something wrong?

To Future Wife:

Okay.

Before you explode just remember that I love you and only you and this was in no way my idea.

Seriously, drill this into your head right now.

From Future Wife:

Baekhyun, what did you do?

To Future Wife:

Well, technically speaking I haven't personally done anything wrong.

Yet another thing to remember.

From Future Wife:

Stop dancing around the subject.

You clearly did something that you know will piss me off.

So out with it, what have you done?

To Future Wife:

Okay.

Right.

I'll just come out with it.

From Future Wife:

Yes, you will.

Preferably this millenia, if it's all the same to you.

To Future Wife:

I will.

Yes.

Wait, you remembered about the whole 'I love you' and 'it's not my fault' thing, right?

From Future Wife:

Baekhyun, tell me what's happened!

To Future Wife:

Because it's really important that you recognise I have no say in this, because if I did this would not be happening at all.

From Future Wife:

Byun.

Baekhyun.

Tell me what is wrong right now or so help me I will make you sleep on the sofa for a month.

To Future Wife:

Okay okay!

I'm doing it!

Right, well the company has decided to use me in a PR stunt.

From Future Wife:

Alright...

And what does this PR stunt involve?

To Future Wife:

Oh, you know.

Things.

From Future Wife:

What kind of things?

To Future Wife:

Things involving a fellow idol.

From Future Wife:

What things involving a fellow idol?

To Future Wife:

Well, perhaps just a little bit of fake dating?

From Future Wife:

I see.

And?

To Future Wife:

And what?

That's all there is to it.

Honest.

From Future Wife:

I don't even need to be able to see your face to know you're lying.

Out with it.

To Future Wife:

Okay, so maybe to accompany the fake dating there will have to be some fake kissing.

In a car.

At night.

From Future Wife:

Oh.

And who is your fake girlfriend then?

I assume it's a girl, anyway...

To Future Wife:

No, it's not Chanyeol, before you decide to go off on one about bloody Baekyeol again.

From Future Wife:

Then who is it?

To Future Wife:

Just remember that I love you and only you.

Forever