hello,

no clue if people still read this, or if people still care to know, but since honestly i started writing this as a way to release my emotional burden, i thought it would be good to update it here too.

jungkook and jimin are no longer going to be friends, jimin decided one random ing day in 2020.

looking back, jungkook had traumatised jimin and jimin just has an unhealthy tendency to romanticise things. what they had was never healthy and would have ed up somewhere even if jimin didnt quit dance.

and no, they probably were sort of dating at a point, they both just had no clue then because they are the exact dumb kids who call each other gay and insist it's the other meaning (happy). on hindsight they crossed the line too many times to count.

but it's a very different life ahead of them now. both are working, their friend circle grew wildly apart since graduation of high school.

when jungkook asked for forgiveness many years back, jimin gave it because it was easier to forgive than to keep hating.

but jungkook slowly became someone jimin didnt recognize. meeting up felt like looking at a complete stranger that upon free choice, jimin would never associate himself with. their values start to show great distinction. they seem to only be able to talk about the latest kpop fandom drama, or hear jungkook complain about his job ("so funny, i had job offer stuffed in my face when i wasnt even looking for any"... really rich words in the middle of a pandemic and tons of fresh grads failing to secure a position)

it gets incresaingly weird when jungkook suggest jimin dress ier to manipulate opposite at work because jimin's pretty.

... well we didnt fight years for gender equality only to hear such bat

more crap happens in between 2016 and now, including too many times of jungkook posting on social media that he's sad and needs help, but when jimin gets worried and texts him he pushes that away. or when he repeatedly talks of having issues via self-diagnosis, but refuses to see an actual therapist (despite jimin offering to be listed as his close contact if he doesnt want his parents to know). jimin took a minor in psychology and starts to understand about the struggles jungkook had self-diagnosed with, and slowly internalizes that he is incapable of helping such people, and frankly, living your own life is a struggle on it's own, and we should always be selective about whose struggles you chose to adopt.

jimin panics at their last meeting when jungkook openly says that jimin is the friend he wants to keep. because he's not been feeling the same for a long time.

after confiding in taehyung and his mom, jimin sees exactly why jungkook is not a positive addition to his life. he's simply outgrown him, just like how people outgrow clothes. and as we age, we simply choose to refine and restructure our social circles because we have increasingly less energy to dedicate to maintaining unfruitful relationships.

and uh, that's all actually.

today is christmas eve and jimin's left jungkook's last call for a meetup on read for maybe a month.

this is the anti-climatic ending to their once wild friendship, relationship, whatever the one may call it.

... at this point i should say "k thx bye" but that wouldnt be me

anyway i hope all readers of this fic never meet a jungkook. trust me you deserve better. 

and believe in yourself. perhaps we'll never win our trauma completely, but we can spend our lifetime winning it.

jimin's been doing great. he's graduated college, employed in a good company, working a decent role, getting recognition he deserves and finally noticing feedback that he's attractive. dating opportunities are around him, he just needs more time before he's comfortable with handing his emotions out again. we'll get there though. someday.

fellow strangers, i wish you all a merry christmas, happy new year, and only good things to come in 2021. please wash your hands, wear your mask, and not be allergic to the vaccine. thank you for bothering with my random letter out of no where, and reading this self-documentary of a fic.

with love.