He was really excited to go home I am wondering why. A bus came just in time when we finished our food. He led me to enter the vehicle and took out his card to be charged for our fare. While I tried to hold on the pendant between my palms but right now, I am more thankful for taking a step forward and gaining an older brother.

He pointed towards the vacant seat at the furthest corner of our ride and I went all the way to seat near the window. Mid-afternoon journeys seemed to be less crowded. I can easily count the heads of the passengers who are with us.  He sat next to me and lowered the ventilation temperature above us. Andy Oppa was able to reach it easily, now I don’t need to stress myself about it.  

“I am always the maknae (youngest) so hearing you call me that for the first time is an accomplishment for me. Thank you for allowing me to have a dongsaeng like you.” Andy Oppa said while giggling.

“Andy Oppa can I –” I stopped talking when I realized that he is grinning too much. It scares the hell out of me. His happy virus creeps me out.

“Why? What is it? Go on you may ask anything.” He is still smiling uncontrollably and I decided to just drop the topic, I can’t also focus with the way he beams at me. I ended up shaking my head to dismiss my attempt.

“Ahh, Kahel. Sorry if I am making you uncomfortable. I just feel like I’ve won an award today. I’ll try to calm down a bit and absorb all of my happiness.” He exhaled deeply and slapped his left cheek slightly. He is so cute! From my point of view it’s like he is trying to wake himself up but still ends up pulling a grin once he gets his senses back.

“Can I also take this bus going to school?” I decided to continue since I can’t do anything to help him. I desperately wanted to abolish their baby sitting mind set and just let me be independent by my own.

“Yes. This bus passes in front of our dorm every 30 minutes. It goes with the same route every day.” Andy Oppa told me while his palm is still sticking on his face. I saw his eyes moved from me and through the glass of the window behind me. He nodded at once and asked me to stand up and prepare to leave our ride.

It was surprisingly fast unlike in the city. When it rains there, people start to multiply like how gremlins reproduce when they get wet with water. Andy Oppa steadied himself while holding on one of the hanging supporters and carried my backpack for me on his freehand. It’s a lot better since I don’t have to hold on to him and just take care of myself by means of not stumbling pathetically.

The bus stopped right in front of our dorm’s gate and we went off together. This was exactly the same scene yesterday only that I am with Junjin. He reached for his umbrella and hugged me and my backpack together with his right shoulder hoping that he can cover us from the needle like rain drops.

“Oppa, it’s okay. I can just sprint once you opened the gate and cover my head with my bag.” I hurriedly told him.

“Eyyy.. Don’t be like that! I’ll take care of you remember? Just follow my lead my dongsaeng.” He beamed at me and continued to input the code on our gate’s electronic lock.

The moment it opened, we both run towards the dorm like we were thinking of the same thing. We reached the edge of the door laughing like we were having a good time even if it was just because of an instant connection today. We sat on the edge of the entrance immediately while panting. He got his handkerchief inside his pocket and wiped my forehead nonchalantly.  

He removed my glasses and I saw that it was the same as Junjin’s garment.  He wiped my specs with it too and placed it back in between my nose bridge, accordingly positioned on my ears’ angle. Ace Oppa used to do that when I am still in elementary. The sudden nostalgia stabbed my chest with a blow that I cannot dodge.

“Dongsaeng, here – take this umbrella. It was meant to be yours with the key. I forgot mine this morning in the cab. HAHAHA! – Kahel?” Andy Oppa was handing me the additional item cheerfully when he noticed my gloomy expression.

“Okay, if you don’t want it. I’ll keep it.” He withdraws in a flash and my reflexes grabbed it in an instant like, I needed that, I needed it since the rain started to pour. I can’t say a word; I am going to choke with my own sloppiness. Sadness is overruling my guts again.

“Dongsaeng! Stop pretending like you can do it alone. Breathe! I won’t tell anyone if you cry in front of me. I promise.” He whispered near enough that I can hear his voice clearly with the background of the humming droplets of rain.

I looked at him and saw him making a heart sign at me while bending half of his body on his right side. I chuckled with laughter seeing how innocently cute his face was. He nodded like he knows he got me. I shook the feeling off. Andy Oppa was right.

We were about to stand from our place when the door swung open and we saw Minwoo standing before us. It looks like he just woke up. His hair was messy and seems like he had been sleeping in the same position which got it all stuck up on the right side of his head. He was still trying to fix it with both of his hands like a kid. Minwoo looked so fresh even after waking up from his bed. He was wearing a sleeveless white shirt together with a cropped maroon pyjama. His eyes were barely opening because of a recent yawn.

“Sweety, how’s your day?” Minwoo asked as he displayed his pinkish gums while smiling at me.

“It was great! Thank you for asking your junior to be with me. Andy Oppa also did a very great job accompanying me today Sunbaenim.” – Yes, that was the first time I addressed him. I hope it didn’t sound too distant.

“WAIT! WHO?! OPPA?! Andy?!! YOU CALLED HIM OPPA?!” Minwoo’s voice resonated all over the place.

It was like he was shocked and that he can’t believe what he just heard. It didn’t take long before all of the remaining dorm buddies appeared from where he was standing. Eric and Junjin’s head popped from both sides while Hyesung appeared shortly on Junjin’s shoulders. Dongwan is the only one missing.

Andy Oppa, however stood happily by my side. Now I know why he was so happy in the bus. It seems it was an achievement.  He deserves it and I know that he had been through a lot today trying to tame my unpredictable mood swings.

“Let’s allow her to rest for today Minwoo Hyung, she still lacks proper sleep.” Andy Oppa broke the commotion.

It was impressive that after what he said, his older brothers parted like the red sea to give way for me. I just bowed to them side by side and excused myself. I was expecting them to actually stop me in the middle and interrogate me but, they looked more concerned than interested.

I was half way to my room when I heard Junjin’s murmuring “Her eyes look puffy. Did she cry?”

I decided to pretend that I didn’t hear it but I can’t ignore the fact that it was real. I am hoping Andy Oppa will answer him while I am still sluggishly walking towards my room.

“Yes she did.” He said it out loud and dodged Junjin’s first punch of annoyance. He ran to me and gave me the umbrella. It was a perfect timing, it was just after I opened my door and I went in without a word. I was too embarrassed to come up with a proper goodbye-see-you-later spill.

The room was cold. The afternoon ambiance is perfect and my bed is calling me for a good sleep after my first exhausting day. I can’t say anything more but the ending was just as impeccable as it could be. I am thankful for my first key. I closed my eyes and another warm batch of tears streamed off my vision.

I felt my phone vibrating under my back. I tried to twist my arms to get it. It was dark already and I can’t seem to reach it properly. I tried to twist some more but a crackling sound made me stop and gasp for a possible dilemma. I tried to move slowly to keep on searching and decided to sit on my bed. It slid right under my blanket and I decided to lift my pillow.

I can’t believe I fell asleep just like that. Now, I am sure that I broke something else right after I checked that the screen of my phone is fully functional and still unscratched. I turned off my alarm and saw that my battery is almost drained. I tried to stand up and use its remaining life as a flashlight to find the switch.

When brightness occupied the room, I rushed to my bed and saw my disfigured specs with its left glass posing an unwanted slit in between. It’s not totally artistic to divide my view into smaller parts. I am doomed. I can’t live with my contacts alone.

I tried to squint my eyes and searched for my charger to plug my phone. I also decided to wash up and slid to one of my onesies as soon as possible. It was great that I have my own heater and it only took me a while to refresh myself. I’ll be a koala tonight. I have a collection of it; Ace Oppa started sending me these ever since I went to university. It’s comfortable and I love it. I proceeded on drying my hair so that I can tie it up on a neat bun.

I decided to fix the first key where it will plant itself voluntarily. It went in the middle left lock right away, now I have 5 more to go. I will try to be more positive now. I realized that they are all stressed and worried about me. I should stop being selfish and self-centred.

I checked the time and it was already seven in the evening. My door was too thick to figure out what’s going on outside but I already made up my mind that I will be braver this time to face my unnecessary aloofness. I took that gulp of courage and slowly opened the door only to see Dongwan washing the dishes.

He was humming alone. I don’t know what specific song it is but from where I am standing, I can say that he has a potential of being a singer. I decided to come closer and start a friendly conversation with him. I closed my door behind me and walked towards his direction.

“Kahel, I heard you cried today. Come out from where you are hiding, we cannot seek for too long and guess how we are going to find you. Emotions are not meant to play with especially if you are getting hurt already.” Dongwan halted his mini symphony only to deliver a speech with a very concerned tone of voice.

I don’t have any reason to lie and this time around I will be more open. I decided to be more approachable since this dorm welcomed me like a family member already. I think they deserve my sincerity.

“Ahh, Yes. The school made me feel emotional all of a sudden I guess.” I said with a sigh as I pulled a one of the six identical chairs on the table, mine is right there behind Dongwan’s back. I can’t bring myself to come nearer. It is not that I am uncomfortable but, I might make him feel uneasy.

“Almost all of them are in their rooms right now. I just got home. It’s too bad that I was not able to eat dinner with you. I thought it’ll be rude to wake you up after hearing what just happened.” He spoke with his back still facing my direction. Looking at him working swiftly on the counter is very manly indeed. He is still wearing an apron and his white polo shirt hugged him closer because of the tightly knotted strings on his slim waist line.

I don’t mind appreciating his back profile. He is still fairly taller than me. Dongwan still seemed to be up to something because right after he placed the newly washed plates on its rack, he proceeded to the refrigerator to take some ingredients out. That was the time when I realized that he’s about to start cooking.

“Kahel, would it be okay for you to eat spicy tuna fried rice for dinner?” He asked gently. I heard his voice with a very excited hint and I don’t want to ruin it even if I am too shy to accept his favour.

“That sounds great!” I answered thankfully and I hope it can reciprocate the same feeling of his effort.

He started to hum again. I laid my head on my crossed arms over the table as I wait while facing the other direction. Hearing the pitch of his voice transpose from one tone to another is very relaxing. I can hear his skillful chopping of onions and his appropriately forceful smashing of garlic. I don’t really want those evil ingredients to be included. Ugh.

Then the smell of frying came in, the elements went one by one. The tuna made the air smell like fish – of course. I can hear the crackling noise then he beat some eggs to get included. Eggs will make it perfect. My brain started to deliver stimulus to my mouth causing my saliva to scream out of its cave. Mixing the rice minimized the scent and now he included a generous amount of pepper paste. I can tell it since my lungs detected its reviving aroma.

Hearing him put it on a plate made me rise to be fed. I almost fell from my seat when I saw him wearing goggles while carrying my plate. WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THAT?! WHY?!!!

“Kahel, here’s your meal. Please enjoy and let me know how it suits you.” He removed it in an instant when he noticed that I am staring at his face. His charismatic winged wrinkles on the side of his eyes made me realize his warm compassion towards me.

He placed the plate in front of me and removed his apron while he rushed to get water from the fridge. It looks like he is always in a hurry. He sat down to the chair next to where I am while flashing his snowy white teeth. Looking at him closely gave me a clearer sight of his attractive face. He looks tired but still dazzling.

After saying grace for my meal, I started to eat his recipe. It appeared simple but the taste busted with natural flavour and to my surprise, I cannot see the trace of onions and garlic. I looked at it closely since I am not wearing any visual aids but —

“Stop looking for them, they all disappeared during the process. I know that you don’t like them so I performed a magic to hide them from you.” Dongwan said teasingly.

I nodded with a very impressed agreement to what he just did. He is so thoughtful, and I think I clearly underappreciated his character. He watched me eat all of what he prepared. Base from what I can see, his eyes were glittering with so much to say but he is trying hard to supress all of it. I can’t also force him to spill it out since I am not sure about how to do it.

I finished my meal, I must be really hungry. He slid the glass of water nearer to me and I drink it as soon as I realized.

“Kahel, live the dishes to me. You better go to sleep early tonight.” Dongwan said as he pull the plate off my vision.

“Hmm? I just woke up and ate. I don’t think I will be able to sleep right away and —”

“I know, but we will be leaving early tomorrow. You don’t have class but we have somewhere else to go.” He was quick and direct.

“I hope you can sleep by 9PM. You still have time to digest your food dearie. You were late today right? Haha! We can’t be late tomorrow even if it’s just a simple date. You’ll have a prize if you’ll be ready at seven in the morning.” Dongwan sounded like he really planned for something.

“Is it okay if we also search for a place where I can get new glasses?” I suddenly remembered. It was a great timing too. He was right that I don’t have a class tomorrow, maybe we can spare some time.

“Sure! We can do that tomorrow as well! Wait, you have contacts to wear right?” His face was shortly alarmed when he asked for my available lenses.

I responded with a nod and his expression lightened again with ease. He gestured his hand and pointed to my room. It looks like he was tired too. His bag was still laying on one of the beanbags together with his leather jacket. I knew it was his since, I can smell that manly cologne fresh scent when I passed by his belongings. I suddenly remember the first time we’ve met, he asked me persistently to call him Oppayam. I think I’ll try getting used to it starting now.

“Oppayam! Good night and sweet dreams! Thank you for the meal! I really appreciate it!” I tried to be modest about how I screamed those words but I think I over did it so I rushed to my cave and sealed the door shut right away. I still heard him shriek with happiness behind the wall.

With what he said, I decided to pick the clothes that I will wear for tomorrow and what I’ll probably bring. I hope it’s a tour in this town. I need that badly.

I made sure to set my alarm. I spent my two whole remaining hours flipping over my newly purchased books and playing different music from time to time. Without my eyeglasses, my eyes were terribly stressed and finally gave me a sign that I need to resume sleeping.

5 AM. My dreamless sleep ended just like that. As my eyes try to autofocus on the nearest thing beside me, I feel miserable looking at my precious glass. I had it as a gift from my brother and now due to carelessness I am letting it go.

My time frame is very allowable. I had all the chance to fix appearance to make myself look more decent from yesterday. I decided to wear an over length moss green shirt partnered with skinny jeans. My white canvass chucks are already hugging my toes too and I am ready to go now. I am advance for an hour. I feel proud that I can get up early today but I am feeling totally wronged since I am not much of a morning person.

I decided to come out and just wait outside. Right before I can fully open my door, I already saw Dongwan Oppa stepping down from the spiral staircase with a backpack on his shoulders. It looked like more of an adventure time outfit rather than a date. He wore cycling shorts and black spandex long sleeves. He still looks stunning with his fluffy hair bouncing freely as he took every step playfully.

“Oh! Kahel I’m glad you’re ready to go!” he paused to check what I was wearing and he added – “is it okay if you change your shoes to more comfortable ones?” while pointing at his lifted sports shoes.

It made me sad. I am not ready at all.

“Oppayam, I’m afraid I don’t have sports shoes.” I told him honestly. Sigh.

The smile on his face did not vanish. Instead he went up the staircase like a whirlwind and came down carrying a box on his hands. I think he already saw this coming. He took out a pair of woman’s shoes with the same style as his and laid it right beside my feet.

“So my guess was right! Ha! Here dearie, take this as my welcoming present.” Dongwan Oppa said with a cheerful voice.

I bent down and tried it. It surprisingly fit exactly. My size is kind of rare because it does not commonly exist in normal categories. I wonder how he knew. I was really puzzled when I looked at him.

“It’s easy Kahel, I took a pattern of your insoles from your mother! I asked her if she can somehow draw it on a paper and send it to me.” He told me his secret for free.

“That is a very witty move Oppayam.” It is indeed. It made me laugh inside, I never thought of that. Even my late brother does not take the risk of giving me shoes as a present because of my rare shoe size.

“Let’s go! We are going to play today!” Oppayam’s energetic voice resonated like it was a joke but as I watched him happily dancing towards the door, it sank to me. He is not kidding at all.