Minwoo Oppa and I were already walking on the side of the road when he clamped a headphone on my neck. It was one of the newest models that I saw before I went here. Its colour was rare too, since orange versions are limited edition.

“I almost forgot your freebie. I am telling you in advance, the bass is to die for.” He asked me to try it on and he scrolled on his phone to test its audio.

I was astounded to hear the orchestra rock version of Swan Lake by Tchaikovsky. It was both dramatic and powerful. I looked at Minwoo Oppa to give him two thumbs up. I took it off and he also released its jack from his phone. I decided to stick it right away to my mp3 player.

It seems like they have the right to decide what extra item that I am supposed to get after I answer the question. This is getting more interesting than before. Each item seems to have each member’s personal touch.

“Dongsaeng, I might not be able to accompany you later.” Minwoo Oppa told me trying to resemble a puppy’s eyes.

“It’s okay; I think I can go home by myself. Plus, I would still need to do some research in the library.” I assured him with my words.

“In that case, save your phone number here and let me know when you get bored so I can ask someone to pick you up.” He gave me his phone right after saying that. I saved my number on it and agreed to just communicate later when my class ends.

It was great that Sam waited for me on the school’s lounge. I managed to attend our class swiftly and finish it without so much hassle with the topic since I am already familiar with it. With my only friend always rushing to go home because of household chores, I am nothing but Pluto. I didn’t exert too much effort on being too friendly but instead; went straight to the library for free internet.

I picked the most secluded area and executed my envoy task for Project Vanilla. I used my newly given ear piece and turned the volume up. Music took me to another dimension and allowed me to transcend to a more conducive place to be productive. I was too focused with my own agenda when I felt something poking my shoulder.

It was Oppayam. He was saying something inaudible. I frowned to each of his word. He lifted my headphones and whisper directly to my ears saying:

“Kahel, Minwoo is worried about you.”

I jumped on my feet when I remembered. I checked the time and it was already 6:00 PM. I even skipped lunch without knowing. I was too immersed with what I am doing. I decided to halt it for now. The music on my playlist is on loop and it stretched my attention for too long.

“Minwoo already arrived at home and he thought that you were already there since you are not replying to his messages or even answering to his calls. It was a good thing that I have some books to return here and I saw you first before I go looking for you on other places.” Dongwan Oppa can’t hide his tension reflecting on his worried voice. I really felt sorry about it.

When I was in the university, nobody cared about me like this. Since my parents are away, I was independent and I did things on my own. Now that I am with them, I need to change my preference of how to deal with things. I must have been a burden to them.

“Oppayam, I’m sorry.” I can’t think of any other word to equate the amount of fault that I committed.

“It’s not okay. So don’t you dare do this next time alright?” His serious face pulled a forgiving smile right at the end of his sentence.

I sighed with relief. He told me that their private cab will be picking me up on the school’s gate any time soon from now. Dongwan Oppa still needs to catch his midnight class and apologized that he will not be able to come with me to the waiting area. I convinced him that I will be fine and I will let him know when I get home – this time, I will make sure to send him a message.

I arrived at the waiting shed shortly and saw that the familiar car is already there. The driver rolled down his window and waved at me with a very warm smile. I responded with a beam. I went in and sat comfortably at the back.

“You’re pretty late young lady.” he said politely.

“Oh, yes. I somehow lost track of time while I am studying in the library.” I answered shortly and now that I remember it, I still don’t know his name.

“You’re dorm mates together with your late brother are my regular passengers. They always miss the bus and always run late for school. It was Ace who thought of getting my contact number and associated me as their fixed chauffeur.” He narrated voluntarily.

“I won’t ask you how painful it was when you lost your brother but I am pretty much sure that those who are with you right now on that same roof are as lonely as you were when he left and went to heaven. If you’ll be able to find out why Hyesung cut his hair it will be very nice or if you discover why Andy became a strong cute boy it will be satisfying. Minwoo suddenly became a calm ocean compared to his old jumpy nature, Dongwan started to get more serious in staying healthy too. Eric became a protective responsible brother while Junjin stopped being a sulking baby and converted to an energizer.” He paused to give me a quick glance at the back to see my reaction and went back to his original posture.

I don’t know what to say. All the things that he mentioned would have been a secret to me until the end if he didn’t spill it out. It got etched in my memory. There is indeed more to them than meets the eye. My brother always surrounds himself with worthy people. I should not take them for granted.

The cab reached our dorm’s gate without me noticing it. My travel time was faster than the usual, maybe because it’s almost night time. There are very few vehicles around and people here do not seem to stay outside when the sun goes down.

I went off the car and waved goodbye to him. I almost forgot to ask his name when he –

“I’m Mr. Brook by the way. You may get my number from your brothers just in case.” He said courteously before he drove away. I will make sure never to forget his name.

Sigh.

I yanked my bag properly on my left shoulder and started to search my memory for the passcode of our entrance. I’ve seen it so many times; I know it’s something very familiar to me.

982403 it might be just a coincidence but this was the same date when I graduated in high school. It was the very same date when I left our house to study in a very distant city and cut connections with my family temporarily for a significant period of time. It was also one of the days that I wanted to treasure the most because my brother helped me escape from our house to test myself and explore a larger ocean.

There were four silhouettes moving around the gazebo. The sound that I created upon opening the gate made all of them look at the same direction. I walked closer and saw that Minwoo is together with Eric, Hyesung and Andy. They must have been talking about something before I came in. They look at me blankly and deep inside I can already feel that they are going to scold me BIG TIME.

“You didn’t send me a message or even called back.” Minwoo Oppa started.

“Kahel, we were worried here. We thought something happened to you already.” Hyesung added.

“I — I’m sorry. I know it’s my fault. I promise to do better next time.” I closed my eyes expecting for a nagging tsunami to follow but I felt something poking my cheek.

I opened my eyes and saw Eric acting strange again. Standing beside me while squinting his eyes to look seriously cute.

“Don’t sleep in the middle of an apology Kahel.” His deep husky voice currently altered to a high pitched tone of a teenage girl.

I gave him a puzzled stare and saw Andy Oppa from his hyung’s back stretched his hand towards me while saying

“Give me your phone.” The used to be maknae ordered.

I took it outside my bag and Eric grabbed it right away and handed it to Andy Oppa’s opened palm. He seemed to have typed a couple of stuff on it before giving it back.

“I have saved all our numbers on your phone and also Mr. Brook’s number. Let’s go inside now and have dinner.” Andy Oppa is no longer in his young bubbly concept; I slightly felt that he is very firm when he is serious.

All of us went inside and joined each other for dinner. I got surprised to see that all of our plates are already set with notepads placed on each of them. It seems as if the cook left us something to fill in our stomachs. Oppayam is very thoughtful indeed.

We sat down on our chairs and of course I took my very own as a habit. The silence is causing us to feel uneasy. My brain is drained already because of all the work that I have done the whole day. They might be fatigued too because of waiting and worrying. I can’t imagine I ruined their evening. Sigh.

“Smile, it is okay to breathe.” Minwoo Oppa broke the gloomy atmosphere. He removed his round glasses and put it on the side of his bowl to show me his smiling eyes.

“You already said sorry. As long as you know that what you did is wrong and you don’t have any plans of doing it again – it’s all fine.” Andy Oppa added while scooping another mouthful of rice from his plate.

It was only then when I realized that they are all wearing the same jumper designs with different prints on it. They look uniformly cute and adorable. I nodded in agreement to what they said.

“By the way Kahel, I googled your name before and found out that it’s another word that pertains to color orange. It is fascinating.” Eric blurted with a very surprising fact. It was true.

“Oh, that is right. My mother loves that color so much. She says it is the happiest color.” It might sound very strange to other people but my father agreed with it too; since they would like me to be full of bliss in everything that I do.

We started to talk about names and discuss other topics which involve other activities at school. I tried to observe as much as I can and gather more memories with them.  They knew each other more than I have expected. From the fact of what food they love to eat, what makes them embarrassed and what to say and not to say about one another. They love and protect each other at the same time. They fight if it is necessary to resolve their issues; they give way for opinions and sacrifice their pride when a circumstance comes up.

It was a blessing to know them. I would have wanted to chat with them more but my eyes are already giving up. My contacts are being a pain in my eye and it keeps on irritating my vision. I have tried to blink multiple times to somehow supress the pain but it was too much.

“K are you crying?” I heard Hyesung’s gentle voice ask from the side where he is sitting.

“Oh, no – it’s my contacts. I’ve been wearing them for too long. The brand that I got yesterday might not be a match for me.” Yes, that was exactly the same thing that I am thinking about right now.

“Dongwan-ah told me to get your glasses right after school. I went there on my way home but the shop owner won’t give it to me without the receipt. Sorry.” Minwoo Oppa’s troubled voice pressed warmth to my situation.

“It’s okay Minwoo Oppa. I don’t have a class tomorrow so I can get it by myself. I will just ask Mr. Brook to take me there. For now, I think I should sleep. I’m sorry that I can’t stay for long.” I stood up while trying to act capable of figuring out where my room is as I try not to stumble while walking. I didn’t know why it had to act up now. It’s strangely annoying and painful.

“I’ll lend you a hand.” Hyesung stood quickly and supported me by grabbing my shoulder. His warm slender hands slid on my arms and wrapped my wrist like a very delicate stem of a flower.  He doesn’t have to go this far but I can’t push away a gentleman with good intentions of a charming prince.

I can sense Andy Oppa carrying my bag for me as we advanced to my room’s perimeter. I went in and removed the hateful lenses immediately before my eyes burn with blood due to too much scratching.

I crawled to my cabinet and sluggishly changed to anything I can grasp. My eyes were tortured on the last minute of the day; I wonder how I will manage to survive tomorrow. I went to my bed and bury myself under my blanket.

It’s cold. It’s raining again tonight.

Someone’s knocking on my door. I can’t believe that my sight has been taken away from me again. I tried to slap my face multiple times to get up and open the blurry entrance. I crawled up to its edged and stood up to welcome my impatient guest.

“Sleeping beauty, let’s go and bring back your sight.” Junjin’s voice was cracking with his laughter as soon as I opened the door. I wonder why.

“Good morning JJ.” I greeted him with a half awake mind.

“Morning time expired already. It’s almost noontime and you skipped your meal again! Come out and eat with me. I prepared spring rolls and spaghetti for us. I am starving! You made me wait twenty decades already.” He might be very bored.  

He put my hands on his shoulders and led me to the dining area. His hair was untied and I can feel it brushing at the tip of my fingers with its ticklish strands.

I was partially blind so he helped me seat next to him. I was struggling to find my fork on the sides of my plate when I felt that I have no plate in front of me.

“What are you planning to do? I will feed you.” Junjin is still having fun with all the things that he can see that I cannot.

“Let me get one of my eye’s contact lens so that I can move by myself.” I tried to argue with him.

“Hahahaha! NO! You can do that later when we leave. Don’t rush we are not in a race.” He rejected me in one blow and I gave up.

There is no sense of arguing with the master. I can still remember the first time I met him. His competitiveness level is so high that it will make you feel you’ve lost even before you try.

He took turns while spoon-feeding me and himself. He told me that we will be also visiting the hospital for his monthly check up after getting my glasses. I agreed with our itinerary and he dropped me in front of my room before he went upstairs to prepare himself.

I hurriedly put my comfortable contact lens only to discover that I am wearing a teletubbies onesie. The one that I hated the most!!! Arrghhh.. Maybe that is why he is laughing. I rushed in preparing while still savouring the embarrassment. This is the worst that have.

I can be creative in wearing an eye patch for my damaged sight but I left the idea alone. It might add to Junjin’s epic laughing stock. I can spend my whole day with my palms all over my face but it was a good thing that he was the only one who saw it.

We both went out on a significantly similar style. My grey pull-over coincidentally partnered his leather grey trench coat. We were both wearing denim jeans and are both geared with black high cut chucks. We laughed at each other when the feeling sank just right in time as we occupied the back seat of Mr. Brook’s car.

Junjin asked the kind driver to pick up my glasses first at the optical shop and we went to the hospital with my fully functional eyes. He looks perfectly healthy and I can’t help but to ask why he needs to go there.

“What is your check up about?” I feel close enough to him that I had the courage to pull the buckle of his trench coat as I inquired.

“Oh, it’s for my back injury. Ever since I had it, I normally go there for it to get examined by the doctor. Dongwan Hyung always reminded me about it.” He smiled after briefly explaining it but it didn’t last for long. I don’t know why he suddenly became gloomy.

He tied his hair just high enough above the collar of his garment. It was cold and I got surprised when he wrapped a scarf around my neck until half of my face got covered. He walked close to me as we proceeded inside. The hall way was empty but I have that uncomfortable feeling when people are paying too much attention on our every move. I saw a group of the nurses smiled at our direction. I tried to survey at the corner of my eyes and I was right, they were caught by this head turner who is with me.

“You want to know what, I was the first person who discovered that Ace Hyung was sick.” He paused and pretended to clear his throat, but it was a choking sadness that he avoided.

“I was here that day for an appointment same as this when I accidentally hear him and his doctor discussing about it. Unlike any other patient, he was very composed and objective. We were a family that is why I did not hesitate to confront him head on. He asked me to keep it as a secret until he is done with his plans. The interesting part was – you’re the only one that he had in mind that time.” Junjin stopped walking just to mess up with my fringe and continued alone while I stood frozen on the spot where he left me.

Based from what I’ve heard, I can tell that Junjin was the one who became the main sponge that time. The happiest and most cheerful Oppa in our dorm faced a very agonizing plot that he cannot avoid. He bore it all alone for a specific period of time where he cannot even express how much he is hurting inside.

Junjin Oppa noticed that I stopped; it seems that he is talking about a different topic by himself. He rushed to me and gave me a tight warm hug.

“Ya! It’s okay.” He whispered.

I stretched my arm to somehow reach for his back and press my hand against his shoulder blade. –

“No Oppa, it’s okay. I’ll be fine, you did a good job.”

His tears rolled down his cheeks and reached my forehead right after being comforted just like that. I wiped his face with my free hands after he let go of me. His manly sobs are as moving as the love that he has for our mini family.

He was about to say something when a nurse interrupted him and told him that his Doctor is already waiting. He left me without further words but just hand signals to wait for him outside. It was a good thing that I didn’t replace my bag contents. I still have the key that Minwoo Oppa gave me and the headphones. Music will make time fly, I decided to plug in my melody and silence the world with the songs of my playlist.

 I was singing along with the sixth song when Junjin Oppa passed by. He probably didn’t see me so I stood up and called for his name.

“Junjin Oppa! I’m here!” I waved at him happily and he turned around just like a movie star.

He sat naturally beside me and coolly slid a hair clip to tie my fringe on the side of my head.

“With I in the middle and Y ending my root word, I am the one who comes first in your mind before pleasure and contentment. Who am I?” He smiled with his blinking teary eyes. It was fast and it was beautiful. It is hard to find but he made it so easy for me to achieve.

I covered his ears so he can read my lips when I said the answer: HAPPINESS.

He pulled something out of his pocket and beneath his huge manly hands; he revealed an orange crystal like easter egg. The key is shining inside and he handed it to me with a bright chuckle of joy.