2015. March.

Her letter came about a month after he got the news that she was back in Seoul. He didn't even heard it himself, he knew from Jungshin, who knew from Seohyun, who happened to see Soojung that night in SM building. She didn't reply to his text, she didn't call, and now she probably didn't want to see him. 

So when his manager handed his the blue envelope--with a knowing smile on his face-- Minhyuk couldn't help but getting excited. He excused himself from the room and moved to an empty recording room beside their band practice room to read her letter. 

Another thing Minhyuk loves about Soojung; she loves to write letters. She told him one day that often times, she found it hard to say the things she wanted to say, because she has always been shy and got embarassed easily, so it's easier for her to write. "Besides, letters are forever." she loves the idea of writing in a piece of paper, and she done her letters beautifully, her writing was neat and she always chose her words carefully, sometimes quoting a book or a poem. Minhyuk never knew that Soojung loves to read. 

Sure enough, it was something as beautiful as the writer herself:

Minhyuk oppa,

You texted me 3 of the most heart breaking words ever: i miss you. It made me realize of something we don't have: togetherness. Be it in an actual form--me and you being in a same place together-- or situation. Yet, it was something that kept me going, since the day I received your text, and made me wanted to face the world by coming back to Seoul. Because you're there, waiting for me. 

So here I am, I am back. And forgive me if I cannot meet you. It's a new beginning for me, in several aspects: you, family, work. You... confessed to me did give a big impact on my life. I thought about it over and over again, and sometimes it gave me a headache--but you shouldn't worry, I'm fine!-- like I told you, I am, like you are, waiting for the time when we're both older and wiser and not afraid of the people watching us. I did most of the afraid part, you're always the courageous one, and I wished I has half the courage you have. I'm trying.. to adjust to this new situation between us, and I think I have to settle my heart first before I can meet you. 

Would you wait for me?

Well... I don't know what to write anymore... I think I've told you enough. Aren't I? 

See you soon, 

K

She was just washing the bowls she used for dinner when the bell rings. She turned off the water, drying her hand and went to the intercom. 

"Who is it?"

"It's me."

He was looking back at her from the monitor, and Soojung thought she was going to die from the shock. "What are you doing here?!" Didn't she say that she couldn't meet him because she was trying to settle her feelings for him?

"Soojung-ah, please open the door." he urged, and with trembled hand she unlocked the door. 

He stepped into her apartment, eager to see the girl who annoyingly resided in his mind. "Hey." she greeted. She was wearing a navy blue sweater and pajama pants and Minhyuk thought she looked extra cute tonight. 

He handed her an envelope. "An eye for an eye. A letter for a letter. May I come in?"

She took the envelope, and he walked past her and into the living room. 

"Are you mad at me?" she asked, following him to the living room. 

"Just read the letter." he answered, taking a seat on the sofa and the TV. 

She took a seat at the dining table across the room, and slowly open his letter. It was short.

I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. 

I think I've loved you enough to be brave despite our situation. 

Would you do the same for me?

K.

She looked up and he was standing in front of her. He was looking at the letter in her hands, then at her eyes, and stayed there. "So?"

"What do you mean?"

"Please stop acting dumb, Soojungie.."

"Now you're insulting me." Soojung bravely looked at his eyes too. "What is this? Why?"

"It's something Iogical for me. For two people, having the same feelings, to be together."

"Just say it." she hissed, it was not like hime to beat around the bush. 

"I'm in love with you." he said. He was reaching for her hands but she pulled it and rested it at her lap. 

"And I know you're in love with me too." he continued. 

"You said you're okay with us being friends!"

"Not after I received your letter today. You seemed desperate!"

"That's what you thought!" Soojung tried so hard to not raise her voice at him. "You're okay with us being friends." she felt tears coming but held it back. Be brave, Jung Soojung.

He took a seat in front of her. I screwed up, he thought. He bowed and took his head with both of his hands. 

"Don't you see? I cared about you. I want to be there for you."

She reached out and his hair. "I know. But..." she took a deep breath before continuing. "Right now, like I told you in my letter, I need to... considering my feelings for you."

"What's there to consider?" he looked up and worries drawn across his face. Do you not love me too, were the things you said in Santa Monica was a lie?

She shook her head. "No! No! I mean... I need to... adapt to this whole new situation. Oppa, it felt like I came to Seoul for the first time. Not only you, but I also had to adapt to the situation at the company. Everything feels so.. new, and weird." she tried her best to explain. 

"Okay."

"I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry, Soojungie." he smiled, feeling really guilty because he might've pushed her into something she didn't want to do. "I'm sorry for being selfish. But please remember I did it all for you."

"I know. I'm always thankful to have you, oppa." she reached out and took his hands in hers. What a bold movement, Jung Soojung, she thought, way to go. 

He said goodbye after an hour of talking. They talked about her sister, about Amber and her solo debut, about Los Angeles, about CN Blue, about F(x), about his cats.. anything except the big elephant in the room: them. Minhyuk has decided to lay down and be in her level, if being patient will get him a relationship with Jung Soojung in the future, then so be it. He didn't even need the assurance, her eyes speaks louder than words, and he knew... he knew that she will get there someday. She will overcome her fear someday, and finally trusted him enough to begin something with him. 

Until then, he has to conviced himself that being her friend was enough. Maybe he lost the faith he has after he got her letter in LAX a month ago, maybe he's missing her too much, the first thing he wanted when he knew she was back was to ask her to be his girlfriend--again--. Whatever it was, Minhyuk knew it was selfish, and hurting Soojung's feelings was the last thing he wanted to do.  

He's still feeling awful he sent a bucket of chicken to her dance studio the next day, with a message:

Flowers are mediocre, and you cannot eat flowers, so I'm sending you chicken instead!

To Soojungie, whom I adore.

K

She grinned at his package and his card. He must've felt really bad after last night, so she opened her kakaotalk, clicked on his profile and typed:

If  chicken is what I got the day after I got mad of you, then that's what I'm going to do everyday! :)