2015. January.

It was already his last night in Los Angeles. Tomorrow, he's going back to Seoul after spending 5 days in the City of Angels, with his own version of angel. Tonight, Soojung took him for dinner at a Spanish restaurant, where they got to learn some salsa moves and Minhyuk get to embarassed himself in front of the girl of his dreams with his awkward dance. 

Afterwards, she drove them to Santa Monica pier, which took them about an hour drive from downtown LA. Minhyuk had requested Soojung to take him there, no matter how far it was, and he even offered to drive eventhough he doesn't have the international driving license. Yes, he would risk it all for something he needed to say. 

They arrived at the pier at 11 o'clock, but the park was still full with visitors and the ferris wheel was still running. 

"Do you want to ride the ferris wheel, oppa?" Soojung asked after they got out of the car. It was a cold January night, but she would never trade going for a walk with Kang Minhyuk with anything else in the world. 

"No, just.. let's go to the pier." 

Soojung led the way to the entrance, and up until they reach the long pier. The sea looked dark but the moon was hanging brightly in the sky. It was a beautiful night, indeed. 

"So, you're going back tomorrow." she said, and he nodded silently, arms inside his jacket's pocket and he was looking at his feet. 

"Have a safe flight, oppa." she whispered, unable to hide the sadness in her voice. 

"Thank you."

They reached the end of the pier and Soojung grabbed the fence while leaning to the sea. "It's so refreshing out here." she laughed. It was one of the best time in her life, the past 5 days with Kang Minhyuk. They were together everyday, she would pick him up from his hotel after breakfast, and took him to her favorite places in LA. One day she took him home to meet her parents, and they had barbeque together, and Soojung wanted to stop the time so this moment would last forever. 

But she couldn't and he has to go back tomorrow, and they would be miles apart again. 

Minhyuk leaned his back to the fence and faced the amusement park. Everything was so bright and shiny, but here where they were standing it was quiet, and he loved the privacy and the silence. 

"When are you going back?" he asked. 

Soojung sighed. "I don't know."

"Why?"

"I really don't.. know."

"So you're just going to stay here.. forever?"

"No, it's just... I needed to make sure."

"Of what?"

"Of everything."

"How about your members?" Minhyuk was facing her now, and she could only bowed her head, not meeting his eyes. 

"They are also taking their time. You know oppa, when everything screwed up so much the universe got you the rest you needed." she smiled, because it was a bittersweet feeling, being here in Los Angeles. She would give everything to get back to Seoul tomorrow with him, but she couldn't. 

"You should go back."

"I will, soon."

"How soon?"

"I don't know. Next month."

"Next month?" he was obviously shocked with her answer. "Don't you have some work to do?"

She fixed her hair between her ears and said, "I don't. We all don't."

"Soojung.."

"Oppa.. I'm scared." she whispered, and even with all the silence surrounding them Minhyuk had a hard time of hearing her. 

"I'm afraid of everything. Of SM, of the people in it, my unnies, my fans.. will they be there when I go back? Will F(x) still be the same without Sulli? Will I still have my job?"

"Soojung, I thought you were past those feelings.."

"Clearly, I don't." she raised her hand to wipe a tear that escaped her eyes, but Kang Minhyuk beat her to it. He wiped her tear and cupped her cheeks. He stared into her eyes; brown determined eyes met with the sad ones, before asking. "Soojung, why are you so sad?"

She chuckled. "Thank you for your concern."

"No, really.. why are you so sad all the time?"

"..."

"What can I do to make you happy?"

"Nothing." she said. She knew he'd said she's acting like a kid again but she didn't care. There was really nothing he could do to make her happy except stay in Los Angeles with her. But she obviously couldn't say that, could she?

"If there's anything I could do..."

"Why are you here?" she cut in, making him froze in his spot. She never really asked him about his reason to LA, and he never really told her about his main reason: her. 

"Of all the places in the world, why LA? It's too far away, it will not give you the healing effect you needed from a holiday, you cannot call your parents and friends because of the time difference. Why LA?" she pressed, half hoping what she thought was true. That he came here to see her. 

"I.." Minhyuk stuttered. 

"There's nothing special." he finally said and Soojung felt her hoped shattered into pieces. "Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Okay.."

"Who's Nate?" he tried to changed the subject. 

"He's a friend."

"You seemed closer to him than the others."

"Not really, we all grew up together but then I have to move to Seoul." she answered, holding to the fence and looking out to the sea again. 

Minhyuk nodded a few times, afraid to ask anything that will reveal his jealousy towards Nate. 

"He confessed to me." she finally said. 

"Ehh?" 

She smiled, remembering how Nate told her about his feelings. He was so sincere, and so precious, and perfect, and Soojung wished she could love him back just as much. 

"Yes, a few times. And the last one was at the coffee shop."

"What did.. he say?" Minhyuk stuttered. 

"The usual stuff."

"And what did you say?"

"My honest feelings." 

Minhyuk didn't know what to say. He wanted to die. He wanted to jumped from the bridge to the sea so he would never had to face Soojung anymore. 

"..."

"That I liked him too.. just not in that way. Not in.. the way he liked me." Soojung said, looking up at Minhyuk whose face was as hard as a rock. 

"Oh."

"Yep."

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Why didn't you like him?" he asked.

"Well because he's my friend. And.... friends aren't supposed to be.. more than friends. He's more precious than that." she answered.

"So that's what you thought?" 

"Yes."

Minhyuk wondered if Soojung could hear the sound of his heart beating, because it felt like his heart would burst out of his chest from all the nervousness. She didn't like him back. She didn't like Nate. He was half happy that she rejected the almost perfect Nate, but broken hearted because she said friends should still remain friends, and couldn't be anything more. 

He's her friend, right? So where is his place? Where should he stood?

He forgot about everyhting he needed to say, something he rehearsed harder than CN Blue's first debut stage. He even wrote his speech on a piece of paper and tried to memorize it. "I think I cared for you more than I should. And I've been feeling it for some time now. I wanted to take care of you, I wanted to make you happy, I wanted to see you.. everyday. I want to be the person you come home to, and I want you to be the person I call when I'm sick, knowing you'd take care of me. I want you to meet my Mother, because she only deserved to meet the perfect girl. Because you're the perfect one for me, Jung Soojung, and I want us to be more than this."

Instead, he only managed to say a few words, because he has to, no matter what it takes. 

"What if I told you that I love you?"