I didn’t feel like going to school, and I most certainly didn’t want to meet my friends.

They would probably be waiting for me to come to class with my usual smile. They would wait for me to tell them that I am okay and that I was just sick, but I wasn’t okay and I wasn’t sick. In fact, my absence was due to my phobia of men.

My father was an alcoholic and every night, he would physically attack me leaving me in bruises as well as my mother. She would always put on some kind of cream to hide my blemishes or I would stay home in a secret room that my mother made especially for me since my father was home all day. My mother had made a mistake and married a man with the potential to ruin her wealthy family’s image. My mother had made sure that my father was well hidden from society due to that possibility. He was only allowed out when my mother came home at night and that was probably what drove him mad.

My mother had told me stories of the days when he had been… normal. When he had not been so drunk and addicted to alcohol. Those were the stories that I longed for. Something that I wanted to experience.

“He was a sweet man… He would always look after me and watch over me secretly, making sure that I was always safe and away from danger. Just seeing him made my heart flutter, but now… it’s just the opposite.”
    The thought of my father from the past saddens my mother and I make a note to myself not to talk about it anymore. I wanted my mother to be happy, not sad. I would do anything to get her to smile again.

One day my father had disappeared and had not returned home from the night. We were not concerned since he always came home late due to his drunk state. So we waited for him. As the sun went down, we started to get worried. That night, we received a call from the police station.

We rushed to the police station to meet the police officer who had called us. He told us that my father had gotten in a car accident while drunk driving. They couldn't reach us because they weren't able to find his cellphone at the scene. He had crashed into another car which led to his death. The other car had three people in it and out of the three, only one survived. We were told that it was a girl around my age. She was in the back seat when it had happened, so she took less damage than the two adults in the front. However, during the accident her head was hit hard against the car’s walls and she had lost some of her memories including the car accident.

That accident had happened when I was six years old. Till this day, I have no idea who that poor girl was and what she went through due to the accident that my father had caused. Because of that accident, my mother was able to sleep comfortably for the first time in years, but I on the other hand gained a phobia. I didn't know I had that phobia until my last year in middle school.

A boy had asked me, through a letter, to meet him after school and so I did. I didn't expect him to confess to me and I didn't expect to start breaking down in sweat. I thought that I was just nervous about the confession, so I brushed it off. However, he started walking towards me. It hit me suddenly and my legs reacted first. I fell back, legs going weak. Then as the boy tried to help me get up, I flinched at his contact and screamed. From that point on, I don’t remember what had happened.

I'm pretty sure I scared him for life and I always felt sorry for him. But I was never able get close to him to tell him that.

I never understood why I had screamed and reacted like that. After going to the hospital, I had realized that it was a phobia formed because of my alcoholic father. I should've hated my father and resented him for making me like this, but I didn't. I couldn't. It didn't seem right to blame him, him who died in a tragic way. However, my mom did. She hated him and sometimes asked herself why she hadn't gotten rid of him sooner. Why she hadn't stopped him earlier. She started blaming herself for everything that happened to me.

I always told her that it was never her fault and that what happened was now the past but she would always tell me the same thing.

“If I had never married that beast, you would have never went through this pain. But because I did, you went through it.” And then she would start blaming herself again. My mother was never the same because of that. She wasn’t until she met the CEO. The CEO had brought back my mother from a deep slumber and I was thankful. When I had heard of their possible marriage, I agreed immediately. Afterall, I had wanted to give my mother a happy life.

“Sana? Sana, dear. You need to get ready for school or you’re going to be late.” My maid told me.

I got out of bed slowly. I didn’t want to go back to school, but I knew I had to. I couldn’t hide forever.

I got ready and went down to the dining room.

“I don’t feel like eating. I’m going to school, kay?” I headed out and entered the car before my maid could say anything about it.

The driver drove away from the house and closer to the school.

This is going to be a long day.

~~~

“Have a good day at school, Momo.” My butler said as I exited the car.

“I’ll try.”

“You still didn’t tell me why you needed to see father so quickly yesterday. You promised me.” Mina gave me a stern look.

“I know I did… but I… I just can’t right now.” I turned away from her.

“Well, I gave you a chance. Since you broke the promise, you’ll have to return me a favor.” Mina informed me as she went back into the car. I sighed and walked off.

As I walked towards the school, I saw Nayeon walking her bike to the bicycle rack and locking it. I smiled and crept over behind her.

“Boo!” I yelled into her ear and watched her jump.

She turned around and faced me with a glare.

“Why did you scare me like that?”

“I just felt like it.” I looked at her bike and pointed at it. “Is that yours?”

“No~ I’m just trying to open this lock so that I can steal it. It’s not mine at all.” Nayeon replied sarcastically.

“Right. Anyways, I have a few more questions for you.”

“Sorry, not in the mood to answer any of them.”
    “But you didn’t even listen to any of them…”

“Exactly. I already know what you’ll ask me about.” She replied as she walked towards the classroom.

She doesn’t want to answer my questions, but she’s the only one who knows other than my father.

I sighed in frustration and followed her in.

~~~

“Tzuyu!” A voice cried out as I spotted my ex talking with the new girl. “Tzuyu! Wait up! You’re walking too quickly!” Chaeyoung exclaimed.

I stopped short and looked back at my short legged friend.

“Why are you so slow?” I asked hastily and turned my attention back to the bicycle rack.

“Me, slow? Do you mean you being fast? I’ve never seen you walk so quickly in my life! Except for that time when you were in such a rush to get your favorite bread that was short in stock in the school cafeteria. Other than that, this is a first. I have short legs you know.” She informed.

I didn’t reply and instead watched the two far figures walk into the school. Chaeyoung followed my gaze and smirked.

“What are you looking at?” She teased.

“You know plenty well what I’m looking at.”

“Are you still trying to get over your ex?” She teased.

“I wouldn’t have to do that if you and Dahyun didn’t keep your mouth shut.”

“Hey. Even if we didn’t say anything, you would have had to break up with her. Don’t you remember? That guy told you-”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. It happened and I can’t do anything about it.” I persuaded myself as I walked into the building with Chaeyoung.

~~~

“Okay, now that we established that everybody is here, I have two announcements.” Mr. Park declared. “First, we have another new transfer student today.” The class erupted with gossip immediately.

“Another transfer?”

“We had a new one just yesterday.”

“Now settle down. I have another announcement that you guys might like or hate.” He waited for the class to quiet down. “I am also planning to switch your seats today.” The class again erupted with talk. “The transfer student should be here soon… She’s an acquaintance with Momo.” All heads turned to look at Momo. She returned a baffled look.

“I don’t know anybody around me who would come to this school.” Unless…

A knock was heard, but it was faint and softly done.

“Come in!” Mr. Park yelled.

The door opened slowly and out came… Mina, Momo’s butler.

Momo stood up quickly and pointed a finger at her.

“W-what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be hom-” She shut and sat back down as quickly as she had stood up. Everyone gave her a ques