You saw a few deep scars. You trace the scar and looked into his eyes. Full of pain and fear.

“These… are mine”, he said softly, almost whispering. There was a period of time when everything came crashing down on me. I couldn’t take it, pain was the only thing that made me feel alive. So I cut and cut. This….“, as he traced the biggest scar, was the one that landed me in the hospital. I had gone too far. Taeyang found me lying in my whole blood. He was the one who saved me. He was my person. He brought me back.”, he paused. Trying to compose himself.

 "And… I just want to be your person. Just the way you had taken care of me at the restaurant. Ever since that day, I can’t stopped thinking about you….. Will… Will you let me ?“, he looked into my eyes, face full of sincerity.

 "Thank you oppa. You reached in to give him a hug. Thank you for listening. Thank you for understanding me as a person”, you whispered. Hugging him as you felt tears forming. This time, not tears of fear but of relief. You felt his body relax under your hug and he wrapped his hands around you hugging you even tighter.

 He was relieved too. Someone who understands him as Jiyong and not G-dragon. It has always been a battle between this two persona. In recent times, it has been getting more difficult to find real friends who really cares about Jiyong. In fact, Jiyong is never that same confident G-dragon. He had his own fair share of insecurities and flaws and that is what made him human.

 "HEY GUYS!!!!“ You heard Seungri shout from behind both of you.

 "Oh opps…. Sorry” as he realises the situation and retreated backwards slowly.

 You both turned to look at him, smiling st him softly. “Er… We are going to roast some marshmallow, want some????”, he said cheerfully, holding up the sticks in his hands.

You laughed at his silliness. Sure they are superstars on stage but here they are just dorks.

“Shall we?” Jiyong tuned and hold your hand, motioning forward.

“Yeah!”

The night went pass with lots of laughing. You grew closer to the guys and they seemed like real brothers now. Together, they shared funny stories of their time on stage and continuously tease each other.

Second family. That was how you felt they were to you.

Feeling inspired, you proceeded to take the lyrics book out of your bag and begun writing some lyrics based on how you were feeling. At this point, Jiyong was laughing loudly at Taeyang and tackling him down onto the sand. Seunghyun was now getting a piggy back from Daesung and Seungri was just being himself, laughing loudly and screaming. You watch as they chased after the ball, laughing loudly. You smile to yourself.

“Today I made friends”, a first for you. Friends that actually saw the real you and accepted you for it. You felt incredibly thankful and blessed. You made a resolve, never to be a burden to them.

As the night deepens, we all felt our energy draining. Yawning as we wait for Manager Hyung to come and pick us up. The first stop was at the safe house. Jiyong had exited the car with you and started to walk with you to the door.

“Hey. I had a really fun night. Thank you for it.”, he said, one hand in his pocket and another behind his neck. He looked at me shyly and smiled.

“Me too. Thank you for taking the effort to know me”, you replied. Looking at his beautiful face softly.

He pulls you into a hug and kiss you on your forehead. “Now go. Tomorrow you will have a busy day! I will see you tomorrow!”, with that, he gave you a soft push to the inside of the safe house. 

You turn and smile at him, waving till you can’t see him. You thought about what he said. Tomorrow? See me? Strange. Thought I will be working at the dungeon. 

Smiling to yourself, you entered your room only to be shocked at what was on the floor in front of you. You stared at it intently. It was the familiar brown box. The box that you kept the most significant things to you and your family. 

You kneel on the floor in front of the box. Looking at it sadly. You wondered how could your emotions goes from one extreme to another.

“UHHHHH, If only I could erase some memories!!!!!”

In frustration, you hid the box underneath your cupboard. You walked towards your bed and flop downwards, allowing yourself to sink into it. As you relax, memories flood back and you could hear the cries and screams. You shut your eyes tightly, trying to stop it. But it continues. You stood up in frustration, took your earphones, and played white noise at the top volume. With that as lullaby, you slowly drift to sleep.

The one night without pills.

The next morning you awoken to your alarm. Having your phone alarm on and having earphones plugged in at the loudest was definitely not a good idea. You nearly went death as you ply the earphone out of your ears in shock.

Boy, did it wake you up immediately. Maybe not such a bad idea anymore? You ruff your hair sheepishly.

Preparing yourself, you looked into your wardrobe. All the tops in there were long sleeves and Amy had told you to dress for hot weather. Uh whatever, you thought to yourself.

As one of the first to wake up, you thought of preparing breakfast for the rest of your housemates. Egg rolls? So you began making egg rolls and setting the table when Amy walks out half awake.

“Oh my goodness is that what I think is it????!”, she exclaimed while shouting to the rest of the housemates that there is breakfast made today. She picked up her chopsticks and began munching deliciously.

“You had a great night huh???”, as she winked. Giving you a sly smile.

“Yeah I really enjoyed hanging out yesterday. Anyway, enjoy your breakfast! I will meet y'all outside at 8.30!”, with that you rushed back to the room. You opened your lyrics book and continue working on the half written lyrics that you wrote yesterday.

As you reached YG, Amy announces that the logistic department will be split into a few sections to prepare for the some of the groups MV recordings. I was still in Amy group and we will be moving onto the set. 

There was a lot of logistic to be moved. A drum set, beds, props, a glass cube. Goodness! By the time the team had everything loaded, we flop into the car and fell asleep as it send us to the shooting site.

“Y/N’!!!! ” a familiar voice called you once you stepped out of the car. The guys came running over. You recognise them almost immediately: Big Bang. Your eyes grew wide in shock. As Jiyong greets you with an embrace. You choked out in response “uhhh… What.. What are you all doing here?”

“This is our set for the MV!!!”, Jiyong replied excitedly, grinning.

“Come on Jiyong, she’s here to work!!, Y/N’, lets shift this!”, Amy teased. You returned the smile and pry yourself away from Jiyong as you followed Amy to prepare for the shoot.

You were busy the entire day and everyone was preparing to leave. Jiyong stood on top of a crate and started speaking into the director’s loud hailer. “Everyone! PARTY tonight at the Cube! I have booked the entire place so BE there or BE SQUARE!”, he shouted. Grinning, he made his way over towards me.

“I suppose you will be coming?”, he smirk, his face dangerously close to mine.

You step backwards as there were many staff members staring at you both.

“Uhhh… I don’t really drink…”, you replied.

“Nah! We can enjoy the music! Come on? I will pick you up! Ok? Ok? Ok?”, he started tugging on your sleeve.

“yeah okay I guess”, you smiled as you replied him. That dorky side of him, so silly!!

As everyone went home, you asked Amy if she will be going to the party, to which she replied that she is exhausted and will be sleeping early today. She told you to be careful and to stay safe. You nodded, touched that someone actually cared.

The club was amazing, posh interior and full of security guards surrounding the building. You decided on wearing a long sleeve black dress to cover your scars and still look appropriate for the club. 

“heyyyyy, here. Lets sit here beautiful”, Jiyong pulled you into one of the sofa in the corner of the VIP section near the rest of the big bang members. The rest greeted you and Taeyang came over smiling.

“Thought you don’t drink! That day you wanted coke!” he teased. You smack him lightly on his arm, smiling along. 

The night went pass quickly as you sat there with Jiyong, talking about everything and anything. Occasionally, he slides his hands from your shoulders to your waist, making you shudder a little. He didn’t even drink much because you weren’t drinking as much. As the night ends, you went out to the balcony to get some air as Jiyong was catching up with his other friends.

You noticed a tall man standing there smoking, he turned and saw you, smiling gently.

“you smoke?” he asks, face full of concern.

“Nah, just wanted some fresh air” you replied

“Oh.. then I had better…” he snub out his cigarette, “now the air is better?”

You laugh at his silliness. “Yah, you didn’t had to do that, I could just go to the other corner”

“Nah. So how you feeling and all? And Jiyong and stuff? I see you two been getting pretty close” you asked gently as he turned to face you, one of his hand still holding on to the glass of wine.

“yeah, it has been better. Jiyong is really kind, I guess we are friends” you replied. 

“Friends? You call that friends? Hahaha girl. You got some definition issues man” he replied laughing. “But uh, that day, how you feeling?”

“Oh yeah, thank you so much for that day and hmmmm.. I guess I am feeling better, hanging out with you all took my mind of those thoughts” you replied, looking into his eyes. Those eyes that were full of intensity. He nodded in response. He could guess how you felt like, well he had his fair share of down times.

“Y/N’, I thought where you went…. I was looking for you” Jiyong said worriedly as he pulled you into an embrace, hands around your waist.

“Uhhh… I just had to take a breather… and Seunghyun Oppa been keeping me company” you smiled at Seunghyun and then back at Jiyong. Jiyong grip tighten around your waist and for a moment you saw jealousy flash across his face as he looked at Seunghyun.

“Thanks for keeping her company!” he replied smiling while he pulled you back to the club. “It is late, and I found out tomorrow you will be working at Seunghyun oppa’s MV shoot. So lets get you home?”

You nodded. Home it was.