Mingyu stares deeply down to his feet on the wheel, both hands grips tightly to the steering and head placed in between. He has been sitting on the front seat for god knows how long and his head starts to wander to what could possibly made Wonwoo mad. He was pretty sure he’s succeeded on avoiding fight with Wonwoo by granting his wish to meet his mother. But Wonwoo still manage to make them fight and if it’s not because of his wish on meeting Mingyu’s mother, then Mingyu is in a really big trouble.

“I don’t want to be blamed of all the fights that might happen in the future,” Pinky’s voice ringing in his head. “If he found out don’t drag me to explain the situation,” Mingyu bites his lips and his frown gets even deeper as Pinky’s voice recalled again. “But if you want to tell him now, I can come with you and help you talk about this,”

It’s of course already too late now. Mingyu closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He regrets his decision to not talk to Wonwoo that time when Pinky offered the help. He never intended to tell Wonwoo in the first place. Mingyu thought Wonwoo would never know anyway and planning on keeping it a secret until he find a way to break the engagement somehow. Now if Wonwoo found out about them, he couldn’t do anything but explain to Wonwoo with no help. And, to make it clear, with no help also means a future failure because Wonwoo would never believe him even if he tell Wonwoo both side never agreed with the engagement, so it’s a dead end with breaking up on the end of the road for Mingyu.  

He tried to call Wonwoo again after the last call, but Wonwoo didn’t answer. Never answered. He even called Chan but Chan said Wonwoo hasn’t come back to his room. That’s why Mingyu stays at the Ferret House parking lot inside his car, waiting for Wonwoo to come. And now it’s already dark but Wonwoo hasn’t appeared on sight yet. He raises his head and sees the quiet parking lot then to the front of Ferret Building. There’s only some people outside the building. It’s not completely quiet but it’s still quiet. Then he sees him. Walking in a slow pace with his head down.

Right when Mingyu recognize Wonwoo’s figure walking towards the building, he jumps out from his vehicle and approaches him. “Wonwoo!” he runs at full speed to catch Wonwoo up.

Wonwoo raises his head from the ground. His eyes gets round when he sees Mingyu and he starts running towards the building before Mingyu reaches him. It’s a mere second of eye contact but Mingyu’s sure Wonwoo’s eyes are swollen.

“Wonwoo wait!” Mingyu manages to catch him up and grabs his hand, quietly thanking god they hasn’t reached the building yet. 

Wonwoo stops but he avoids eye contact. He was furious, Mingyu notices it. But he doesn’t want to say anything. He won’t. Mingyu doesn’t know what to say first. He is at fault no matter what.

“Wonwoo,” he calls again, dearly this time. “What did I do so wrong to make you mad at me like this?”

Wonwoo’s eyebrow flicks and teeth clenching look enraged with this. He wriggles his hand attempts to let go off Mingyu’s grip but Mingyu doesn’t let go off his hand, instead he pulls Wonwoo closer to him.   Wonwoo gets more and more annoyed. “Let go off me!” he yells.

Mingyu doesn’t listen to him and utilizes his power over Wonwoo to pull him to his chest and attempt to hug him.

Wonwoo pushes his both hands on Mingyu’s chest, doesn’t give in to the hug. “Let go off me you liar!” he shouts as he grimaces in pain. Mingyu pulls off the hug and Wonwoo takes a few step back and glares to him.

Mingyu feels desperate to this. “Wonwoo talk to me,” he begs. “What did I lie to you about?”

Wonwoo lets out an incensed look. “I don’t know, why don’t you find out yourself,”

Mingyu tries to think what words he should use to explain the situation. But he himself still doesn’t know which lie he did that make Wonwoo mad. “I don’t know, okay? Whatever it is can I ask for forgiveness?”

Wonwoo’s face contorted. His eyes slowly leaving Mingyu’s eyes to the ground. “I hate you,”

Mingyu’s eyes turns round and wide hearing words that slips out from Wonwoo’s mouth just now. He clenches his teeth. “I’m sorry for what I did, okay? I made mistakes. A lot. But, please, talk to me so we can sort this out, Wonwoo,” He knows it’s not his place to feel this way but it hurts, somewhere inside, something stabbing his heart.

If it’s about pinky, he’s ready. It’s his fault anyway for keeping it away from Wonwoo when he deserve to know. The engagement wasn’t something he could decide on his own. He’s ready to explain and hoping Wonwoo would understand the situation. After all both side actually disagree on the arrangement. It’s their parents doing.

“Why did you ask me to be your boyfriend?”

Mingyu’s ears flicks to the question. He heard it too often, he should’ve known this time is about this too. He has answered this question too many times too, but somehow he hasn’t find the answer that Wonwoo believe. “It’s because I love you,” he’s kind of tired of being questioned like this by Wonwoo. Why doesn’t Wonwoo believe in his love? He’s really sincere. Why would he date Wonwoo if he doesn’t love him?

Wonwoo suddenly glares to him again. His normally calm and pleasant demeanor slowly changes and his face contorted in all, consuming anger. “I just come back from two years missing!” he’s half yelling. “You didn’t know a thing about what I’ve been through, it doesn’t make sense I just moved back in and you suddenly confess!”

Mingyu’s riled somehow feeling exasperated. Why is it so hard to convince Wonwoo about his feeling? Anything he say will make no difference if Wonwoo still choose to not believe. “But I do love you, Wonwoo!” he says back frustrated. He knows that it doesn’t make sense. Nothing is. Wonwoo’s departure two years ago gave a really big and deep impact to Mingyu’s life. Everything doesn’t feel the same ever since.

Wonwoo’s eyes getting red, glistened with emotion, pulling his eyes brows down. Then tears slowly flows down to his cheek and Mingyu’s stupefied. “You never told me anything before, not even a text or a call in those two years,” he starts sobbing. “How can you say you’re still love me until now,” he cries.

Mingyu’s eyebrows arched down. How can Wonwoo say something like this? It’s not fair. It’s Wonwoo who suddenly left. Mingyu didn’t choose to abandon his childhood friend. He was abandoned. “Why are you questioning my love just now?” Mingyu wants to cry. Does it hurt so bad to believe in him?

“You had a lot of girlfriends, yet I know it from everyone else but you,”

Suddenly Mingyu becomes very annoyed. It’s of course about that. It’s of course about his ruined life. Everyone always question him about it. Why couldn’t they see the reason behind it? Why couldn’t they understand Mingyu? And when he thought that someone would finally understand, someone he love and who love him back, why now that person had to ask him the same question? “It’s that because it? It’s because people keep saying that things about me?”

Wonwoo wipes his eyes with both hands. “People said I turned you gay,”

Mingyu clenches his fists. He’s outraged hearing this again. Why is it a big deal?! What is wrong with being gay?! What is wrong with ever had girlfriends when you’re gay? What is wrong with everyone’s mind?! His speech becomes sarcastic, acrimonious even. “So that’s it?!” he says infuriated. “You don’t like being gay? You don’t like dating me?” he groans. “What is wrong with dating me? What is wrong with turning me gay?!”

Wonwoo raises his head and looks at him. His expression has all sort of emotions. “You said I’m special,”

Yes! Yes, of course you are! Mingyu feels like screaming. “Yes! Because you make me fall in love like never before!”

“Because I turned you gay,” Wonwoo’s sarcasm tone doesn’t escape his words.

Mingyu lets out a disapproving look. “Stop using that words!”

“Then how—” Wonwoo starts consuming anger, his nostrils flaring and his eyes flashing and closing into slits. “Then how come you’ve dated another guy before me?!”

Mingyu freezes. “What?”

“Don’t play dumb!” Wonwoo yells, finger pointing at Mingyu. “I know it already! You weren’t confused! You’re just screwing your life,”

Mingyu widen his eyes. Everything starts crashing down in the background. It’s not about Pinky. It’s far worse than finding out about his engagement. But how? “What the hell are you talking about?!” This is so wrong. Wonwoo isn’t supposed to know about this yet. Wonwoo shouldn’t know. Wonwoo can’t know about this.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’ve dated your seatmate?” Wonwoo’s eyes gets teary again. He still has his enraged expression but now filled with sadness and disappointment too. He starts crying again. “Is it because he’s your first love and not me?”

“What?” Mingyu turns speechless.

“Do you date those girls because the heartbreak caused by the break up?”

“What?! No—” Mingyu can’t seem to find his words.

“Do I someone resemble him? Do I just another place to run away?”

Wonwoo is out of his mind. Mingyu feels like screaming. “Stop this nonsense!” he approaches closer to Wonwoo again and hold Wonwoo’s hand with both hands. “Listen to me! I love you and only you! Don’t say something like that, Wonwoo! Please!”

“Don’t touch me!” Wonwoo twists his hand away. “You can at least tell me that I’m not your first boyfriend! That way I can feel so much easier with those people who keep judge me for turning you gay!” he’s screaming and Mingyu couldn’t react anything. Wonwoo turns his back away and he runs towards the building.

“Wonwoo!”

Mingyu groans in anger. He kicks rocks beside him, falls down on his knees and scream. He doesn’t run after Wonwoo. It’s useless. It’ll get worse if he keep pushing himself.

How the heck did Wonwoo find out? Who the hell dare to tell