I haven’t stopped walking back and forth in my room. Why did I so stupid? Why I kissed him? Why Taeyong, WHY??!! STUPIIIDDDD..!!!!

I kept wondering why I acted that fool. Since the first time I warned myself to be aware, in case he did things out of boundaries. But instead of him, I did it! What a joke!

My door opened suddenly. Myungsoo hyung appeared.

I pursed my lips. “Knock hyung, knock!”

He squinted. “Why are you so angry? I’m the one who should be angry with you right now.”

I sighed. “What’s wrong, hyung?”

Myungsoo hyung crossed my room and sat on my bed while he leaned against the wall. “Don’t copy me. That’s my question: what’s wrong with you?”

I stared at him. “I don’t get it. What do you mean hyung?”

“I know what you did last night.” He guessed nonchalantly.

I dazed. ‘Don’t tell me, Myungsoo hyung saw me kissed Jaehyun. Damn!’

“Don’t play with someone if you don’t want to be burnt. Using the ticket from Jaehyun for dating Johnny isn’t right. Even though you silently against this set, but I think we have the deal. You still can meet Johnny, you still can have him. But please be mature. You know when the time to meet Johnny, when to meet Jaehyun. You can’t just set everything based on what you want. You’re living in a set that your parents had arranged and you’ve agreed to stick in it for a year. Grow up!”

His face turned red, it’s a sign that he’s angry.

“Hyung, I’m sorry. Jaehyun handed in the tickets for me and Johnny so I..”

“I said grow up! So if Jaehyun gives you money or even his credit card and asked you to spend it with Johnny, are you willing to do so? Where’s your heart?”

The words of my hyung just bashed me. How could I be so naïve? He was right, where was my heart? I accepted the tickets, enjoyed them with my boyfriend while the owner had to deal with the cold night for three hours, waiting for me who was spending the night with Johnny. I felt bad suddenly. I really didn’t want to know how my hyung found out about this. The fact that Jaehyun lied to his parents for me made my feeling even worse.

“I don’t want to judge you. But please consider Jaehyun’s feeling too. Not only you who compromising the heart, Jaehyun experience the same thing. Put yourself on the others so you can see the world better than you thought.”

Myungsoo hyung stood up and exit my room, leaving me with an indescribable feeling.

*

Seoul Art and Music, a place where I could cart all my burdens. A perfect place to escape the reality, enter the dream. This place was a learning course, not a school or college, dedicated to those who want to learn new things in art & music or improve and sharpen their skill. I joined since last year and my dancing skill was getting better day by day. Since I assigned for morning shift only in my workplace – a coffee shop (Hey, I’m a barista by the way), I attended the course after work.

“Hi Taeyong! You’re a bit early. It’s 3 right now and the class will start on 4.”

I turned. Ten, my classmate from Thailand greeted me.

“Hi Ten.  I know. But it’s so boring in the home. Myungsoo hyung is still working right now.”

“What about Johnny?”

“Johnny left for Gwangju since yesterday for doing a research for his last semester. After this research, he’ll back to Seoul for a week then goes to Gwangju once again for three months for his field practice.” I explained in half daydreaming. Imagining three months without Johnny must be a total loneliness. Sometimes I regretted why I older a year than Johnny. If we’re in the same age, we could attend the college together. And we could spend the last semester also field practice together.

“I see. But so do you. You’re here to sharpen your dancing skill. You don’t have the field practice. Instead, you have to perform in the musical event. Your performance will give you the score as the final project. The difference is, you’re here but Johnny has to stay in Gwangju.”

Ten was right. I just have to accustom my day without Johnny presence for three months.

Then I saw him! Handsome and dashing like a prince, walking down the hall with the earphone covered his ears. Kim Jaehyun looked charming with stripped sweater wrapping his body.  

“Jaehyun..”

“Do you know Jaehyun?” Ten asked.

“Yes..” I looked at him. “Do you know him as well?”

He laughed. “Who doesn’t? He’s a popular student here. Girls, boys, even teachers admire him. He attends the singing class.” “He is also attending the instrument class. He can play the piano and guitar very well. Don’t ask his voice, you’ll get lulled by hearing him sing a song.” Ten explained but later added, ”He comes from a wealthy family but very courteous and humble. So he has the face, money and character. That’s why he is so popular.”

Ten seemed like the girls, boys, and teachers who admire Jaehyun, since he’s blushing while explaining Jaehyun.

“Do you like him?” I asked him curiously.

“Like I said, who doesn’t?”

I gasped in disbelief.

Ten pouted his lips. “Don’t give me that look. Listen, he is from a wealthy family. He is handsome, polite and modest. He has a beautiful voice and can play instruments. Plus, his academic score in school is no joke. Now I ask you, is it wrong for me to like him?”

I shook.

“I’m thirsty, I’ll go to find something to drink. Do you want something?”

“No. I’m okay. I’ll stay here.”

Ten waved at me before he turned and went out for finding the drink. A second he left, I started to find Jaehyun. ‘Where is he?’

I walked down the hallway, expecting to find him. It’s strange, but I didn’t know why I wanted to see him. Everything in him was different. The more I tried to ignore his visualization, the more it gripped me, like an eagle clutching its prey.

Whenever we both together was the hardest part eventually. I couldn’t control myself as I’ve programmed for him. I still remember when he asked me to confess if I feel something toward him. Why have I to admit it? I’m not a fool. But without being able to help myself, I nodded. Strange.