When Jaehyun didn’t continue our conversation that night, I kept gluing my phone to my ear. I heard someone said ‘Keane’ but I didn’t have any idea of who was he. The only thing I knew, Jaehyun seemed didn’t realize I was still in a conversation. I could hear the phone was gripped while the owner ran fast. Then I heard the phone being thrown and the car engine started. So I assumed the phone was thrown to the dashboard.

           I didn’t hear the other man’s voice. The man who told Jaehyun about ‘Keane’. He must be alone in his car. And I knew I was dumb when I decided to continue overheard. I heard noise from the place I always hated : hospital. I could hear Jaehyun kept saying ‘please save him.’ I could hear a man said ‘Jaehyun, please, the medics are here, let them take care of him.’ while another man said, ‘Calm down, Jaehyun-ah. I’ll call your appa, I’ll tell him you’ll stay in my place tonight.’

            And the most thing which I regretted was when I heard Jaehyun crying and saying, “Keane, please.. be strong.. don’t go..”

*

            Mr. Kim invited me to his house for dinner tonight but I was too reluctant to see Jaehyun. I didn’t know what happened to me but the sense of averse just mastered me. I really wanted to know who Keane was. I wanted his explanation. He just ignored me that night and let me heard his sorrow about Keane. I wanted him to know that I was upset. Then I realized I have no right to require explanations.

            Should I go? I might embarrass myself by asking him non-stop about my curiosity. Cause yes, sometimes I couldn’t control my dumb mouth to speak especially in an unexpected situation.

            I finally decided to come over. My longing for him was stronger than my pride. He was handsome as usual. Unfortunately, his mind seemed misplaced. He ate less than usual. He was also more reticent than usual. Dark circles tarnished right below his eyes.

            “Jaehyunnie, are you tired?” Mr. Do asking while his fingers ran through Jaehyun’s hair.

            “I’m okay, appa.” He smiled as nothing bothered him at all.

            “I know you study hard with your team member. But you need to rest your body and mind. You need to sleep more. And you even slept in Yuta’s home for the group project lately. Look at your eyes.” Mr. Kim nagged to his only son.

            “I am sorry, dad. I was too busy. But it will finish soon.”

            “You can study here too, not only in Yuta’s place. Ask Yuta and Hansol to come over. Your appa would be happy if you’re around, he was so lonely while I’m busy in the office. That’s why he always invites Taeyong to come.”

      Now I know why Mr. Kim always invited me, it’s because of Mr. Do.

            “We started in Yuta’s place and everything has set there, it’s tiresome to move from one place to another.”

            Mr. Kim suddenly looked at me. “Taeyong-ssi, is Jaehyun still going out with you?”

            I glanced at him. He stared at me with pleading eyes. I smiled to Mr. Kim and nodded. He seemed relief.

            “Good.” He said. “If you two need something, please let me know. I really want everything goes smoothly according to the plan. To grow the feeling isn’t easy, hence you should be more frequently together.”

            I and Jaehyun continued the dinner in silence, while his parents chanting about the new branch office they planned to open soon.

            I chose to go back home right after dinner with morning schedule was my reason. Mr. Do was unwilling to let me go. And most part of my heart really wanted to stay. But Jaehyun seemed didn’t care whether I’ll stay or not. So I prefer to back home.

            “Let me drive you home.” He said.

            I shook. “No need. You really need to sleep. You look awful.”

            He smiled. “I’m alright. Let me take you home. It’s dangerous to go back home alone.”

            “I’m not a girl. I can take care of myself.” I pouted.

            He formed a curve by his lips. “I know. But still, it’s nearly late.”

            It’s 9 pm. It’s not late or nearly late at all. Wait, did he just show me that he cared?

            He fell in silence while driving. Once again, his mind misplaced. It’s better for me to get the bus or taxi then have to deal with Jaehyun in statue-like form. What’s on his mind?

            “Who’s Keane?”

            ! My mouth!

            He jolted. “How do you know about him?”

            Oh God! Why did I bring up such a word? He was waiting while kept glancing at me and the road alternately.

            “I.. I’m sorry but that night when we were talking on the phone.. I..”

            “Oh..”

            Astonished by his only ‘oh’, I asked, “So, who is he?”

            “Friend of mine.” He said shortly. But he didn’t face me at all.

            “Is he okay? I mean, I overheard on the phone that he..”

            “He’s okay. Thank you for asking.” He smiled finally. Noted : In bitterness. So what’s their actual relationship so he looked sad since this Keane appeared?

         I furiously withhold my tongue which pressing to spew inappropriate words. I have to restrain myself or Jaehyun might throw me out the car for being intervened into his business.

             “Was he the reason you left in haste when you had a fever?”

             GOD! I really wanted to shred my lips now.

          Instead of answering me, he pulled over near my neighborhood. The engine was still on when he leaned in his seat, watching the moon through the windshield.

            “Do you still remember when I said I’m not in a state of loving someone and I’m still single since I keep my heart from the pain of the past?”

            “Yes. Why you bring this up?”

            “It’s him. Keane. My past and my first love.”

            ‘I hate this. Please don’t continue.’

            “He’s Chinese. His dad hates him and blames him just because he involved in a car accident with his mom. He was the victim also but his dad didn’t want to know. After, he got beaten often till he decided to leave Korea.”

            He paused as he sighed deeply. I really wanted to close my ears, avoid hearing any single words about Keane. But the other side, I wanted to know why they separated.

            “We were in long distance relationship when he lived in China. But distance didn’t work for us especially for him so he broke my heart and preferred someone else to begin his love story.”

            He smiled bitterly. “I was broken. The first love with happy ending had become a mere wishful. I begged him to stay but he declined. Then I realized you can’t compel love. I set him free, but I promise not to fall in love again. It’s painful.”

            “And.. Why he’s back?” question slide from my lips.

            “His dad is sick now. He’s back to see if his dad was alright but he got beaten again. That night, when we’re talking by phone, one of my friend, Ten, came and told me he’s got beaten again. His dad was briefly arrested by police for the first he’s done to his only son. But Keane went to the police office and asked his dad to be free on bail after. But several days later, he got beaten again and again until Yuta saved him and Ten ran to my house informing me.”

            “Ten? Ten from Seoul Art & Music?” I gasped.

            Jaehyun nodded. “Do you know him? He’s a good friend. He helped me twice so far in Keane’s case.”

“I thought he has never closed to you. But if you say..”

He cut me off. “He unintentionally discovered Keane in the night he got beaten. Yuta was following Keane just curious why he came back so.. yeah.. you know the rest.”

“Is he too important to you so you slashed through the night in a high fever?”

“I don’t know, Taeyong-ssi. I really want to forget him but I simply can’t. The thing I know, he needs help right now and as a friend, it’s my job to help him.”

I knew it wasn’t a friend for him. His acts explained everything. He still loved him. And the fact just hurt me even more than I thought.

‘Why do I have to feel hurt? This is I always want, to keep the distance among us so I won’t fall for him and I won’t rat Johnny. So please stop being pathetic, Taeyong!’

“I’m sorry for that night. I should turn off my phone and say goodbye.” He said apologetically.

‘Yeah, you should. So I won’t hear anything related to Keane. So I can protect this stupid heart which lately pounding for you. Damn you, Jaehyun!’

I was about to answer