I put a red circle on today’s date. It’s been a year already and I ready to come back. I should thank God for forgiving me, giving me a new chance to fall in love again and this time, I wished he’s my last one.

           It wasn’t easy to forget what I had, what I built with Johnny for years but Jaehyun was right, I just needed time to be all alone, thinking of everything and decided what I want. He always right and I should grateful to have met him.

            “I’m gonna miss you.” Yuta’s mother smiled at me after she released her embrace on me.

“I’m gonna miss you too. Thank you for having me nicely here. I’m so sad because I’m leaving you now but I promise I’ll be back. I’ll visit you.” I just made a promise.

            She nodded. “Yuta has to live in Seoul for his dream and education so I hope he visits me even more. I know he’s busy but since you’re staying next to my house, my longing to him was reduced. Hope to see you soon and safe flight.”

            I hugged her once again and waved a goodbye. “Take care of yourself. I’ll call you whenever I miss you.”

            She nodded. She looked so sad but she didn’t cry at all. She must have been used to seeing her son’s departure at the airport so she could already manage his heart and face so it wouldn’t look overly sad.

            Surprisingly, I was the one who shed the tears when I sat on the plane’s seat. She reminded me a lot of my mom and I missed her already. But when the pilot announced that we’ll arrive at Gimpo airport in 30 minutes, when I saw my beautiful country from up above, when suddenly my heart got warmer, I smiled. Jaehyun’s face was the first one who crossed my mind.

            When I set foot on the airport, I couldn’t restrain the smile on my face. “Finally, I’m back!”

*

            Myungsoo hyung and I celebrated my return with tons of food. I missed him so much so we spent the day and night just to sit down, filled our bellies, and shared some stories. He visited Japan many times but still he amazed with the place I used to live, Yuta’s hometown.

            “So, are you ready to meet Jaehyun tomorrow?”

            I nodded. “He must be waiting so long. I need to see him soon, I miss him much.”

            “Yeah, he’s a very good man. Though you stay in another place and you two had broken up, but he still came to see me. Sometimes he brought some foods or just to visit me and had some nice conversation.” Myungsoo hyung praised him.

            “Good to hear that. I wasn’t expecting he would visit you, hyung. I only hoped he wouldn’t change his heart and mind about me.”

            “He talked about how much he missed you and the hard time he had without you by his side. I was so sad to hear that but I was proud at the same time. You really are a lucky guy. You can make 2 men desperate by your love.”

            “What about Johnny? I heard he’s leaving. He’s back to the state.”

            Myungsoo hyung nodded. “Yes. I haven’t heard anything yet about him since then.”

            “I hope he’s alright,” I said. “I know I did a mistake and he might never forgive me. But I hope he gets his own happiness. I’m glad now since I can forgive myself, hope he can forgive me as well.”

            “He does. I just know. He’ll forgive you even before you forgive yourself. It’s Johnny.” Myungsoo hyung said as he smiled. “And it’s relieved you can be Taeyong I knew since you were born. No more cry, no sad story. Please smile and be cheerful like you always do.”

            “I will,” I smiled then felt something in my stomach. “What if.. Jaehyun has forgotten me? A year is something. Is he still waiting for me?”

            “Don’t be stupid.” Myungsoo hyung snapped.

            “I don’t know, hyung. I’m just.. afraid. Afraid of the awkwardness that might embrace us when we meet after a year. What if..”

            “Can you stop, please? Seriously. You need to stop thinking about something nonsense. Just prepare yourself. And eat a lot. Do you realize how skinny are you right now? You’re not as y as the last time I saw you!”

*

            I looked at the large house in front of me. It’s been a while since my departure. During those days, I missed this house so much so did the occupants. I rang the bell and waited patiently. Hope at least I could see Mr. Do at home.

            My wish has just granted. The hospitable man with doe eyes and heart-shaped lips opened the door then cried softly when he saw me.

            “Taeyongie? Lee Taeyong! You’re here!” He pulled me into his warm embrace. “Finally, you’re here. I just wanna ask Myungsoo to send you back here if I can’t see you next week.  I mean, why are you guys so stubborn? When you have problems, just solve it together. Don’t do it separately or you’ll end up missing each other. I don’t get it why you two feel delighted in torturing yourselves.”

            I couldn’t resist the wide grin on my face. “I’m sorry to make you worry. I’m here now. I’m not gonna leave anymore.”

            He sighed in relief. “Good. I’m sorry too for babbling too much.” He held my hand as we walked into his house. “How are you? How’s everything?”

            “It’s good, sir. I can get rid of my past now.”

            He stopped then turned to see me in the eyes. “Stop calling me sir. You can start to call me appa, like Jaehyun does. Will you?”

            I was amazed. “B-but..”

            “But what? Soon you will be one of my sons too. You’ll be the part of this family. You should start to call me appa and Junmyeon as daddy too. The ‘sir’ thing only creates some spaces between us all.”

            With my heart which got warmer, I answered. “Alright, appa..”

            “That’s my son!” He’s pointing at me excitedly.

            “Have you eaten? I just finished cooking. Jaehyun and the gang will be home soon. My husband too.”

            I looked around and just realized the dining room has been decorated beautifully. And various kinds of food were served on the table.

            “Is there any celebration today?” I asked.

            “Yes, It’s..” He stopped then his eyes widened. “Wait. Don’t tell me you haven’t met Jaehyun at all since you’re back.”

            I shook. “You’re the second person who knows I’m back after Myungsoo hyung. That’s why I came here, I want to greet you, Jaehyun and Mr. Kim (“I said call him daddy!”- he snapped) personally and apologize for the chaos I did previously.”

            “I thought you met Jaehyun already and he told you that we have the celebration here.