There was a troubled look on my mother's face when she opened the door for me. I bit my lower lip to control the many questions from bursting. I tried to smile, but failed. For a minute, we were just staring at each other, reading each others' thoughts. She'd never guess what I had on my mind, I thought.

"K-ki----"

"I saw appa." I cut her off, surprising the both of us.

She sighed. "What did he tell you?" 

I glanced at her waiting to see the tears that would always escape from her eyes when she remembered my father. There were teardrops forming on the sides of her eyes but I saw how hard she was stopping them from falling.

"He didn't tell me anything." I finally answered. 

There was another long pause.

"W-what do you want to know?"

"I want to know what happened omma. I want to hear your side before his." it sounded like I was begging.

She turned around headed to the dining room and I followed, on the way, I saw her wipe the tears away secretly. I know how hard it is for my mother to do this. All these years, I know she never lost her love for my father. Even if the last time she saw her was so long ago. But is that right? Or had she been seeing my father secretly? After all, I just found out that he's the father of Mia who lived not so far from the neighborhood. 

We took our regular chairs in the dining table where we sat across each from other. I prepared myself for whatever I was about to hear, but I knew it was too late for that.

"We met back in college," she started, referring to my father and herself.

"There were three of us, me, In-su, your father, and Minho. We were best friends back then, until the day we graduated. I was so anxious about my future. There were so many things I wanted to do. But as you know, my parents weren't rich and I had to get a job that would make me earn money and forget about my dreams. In-su understood that side of me so much while Minho supported the side of me who had dreams. Maybe that's because In-su came from a rich family while Minho was from an average one. I've always known that MInho and In-su had feelings for me. But after graduation, I gave Minho a chance. In-su did not take it badly, at least he kept how he felt about it to himself and remained a good friends to me. When I was in desperate need, he offered me a job in his company, that he inherited from his parents. I asked Minho, who was then starting a band, if he was okay with it and he agreed, he told me that he trusted In-su. In-su didn't hold back his feelings for me while I worked for him. He always treated me special even if I was the one who was supposed to work for him. I knew my officemates were starting to make a buzz out of it and that got me worried. MInho was too busy about his new band as they auditioned to multiple companies in the hope of debuting on a big stage. Soon, they did actually debut. As his band got more popular, he had lesser time for me. But I admit I wasn't so bothered about that, because In-su was always there for me, I didn't realize then that I was also beginning to return his sweetness and kindness to me. It was too late when I realized I began returning his feelings as well. I fell in love with him and fell out of love with Minho."

A bitter smile crept on my mother's face as she again stopped the tears from falling. I listened intently, slowly imagining the next parts of the story. Also, wondering who Minho was and what had happened to him up today.

"In-su asked me what happened to me and Minho. I told him that we were over already, knowing that for me it was truly over between the two of us. I never wondered if Minho would've said the same if asked with the same question, because all those times when he was too busy to even bother calling me, for me that was a sign that we were falling apart. With that, In-su decided that we move in a house and live together. Without any hesitation, I agreed. I was young and in love. I was already pregnant with you a year after we moved in. Your f-father, he was overjoyed anticipating for you to come out from me that he already gave you a name on your first month."

She looked at me and smiled, this time looking truly happy remembering that part of her life. Tears then started falling from both of our eyes. I reached for her hand over the table and squeezed it, urging her to continue the story. If only I asked her before about this, maybe she would've stopped crying years ago. Maybe if I wasn't so selfishly afraid to know about my father, who abandoned me, then maybe she would have lived peacefully because she didn't have to keep all of this to herself. Sobbing, she continued.

"That night, before I gave birth to you, the news finally reached Minho that In-su and I were already living together. I didn't understand why he became furious about it that he barged into our house and fought In-su. They punched each other without even saying anything, they just continued fighting destroying the things inside the house with it. I couldn't do anything, I was on my ninth month and was so heavy to stop two young men from killing each other. Then I started screaming and panting when I felt you inside me, wanting to come out. I guess you wanted to help me stop them too.I don't remember who or what brought me to the hospital, laboring was too painful. All I know is that the moment I saw you as you were handed to me by the nurse, all the pain was replaced with all the happiness in the world, peace and contentment." 

We laughed softly and weakly with our faces now drenched in tears. My mother's face turned from happy to serious to pained as she once again continued on with the story.

"What I didn't know was that I'd wake up the next day alone. Well my parents were there. They took care of me after your father left me. Neither him nor Minho ever came to see me again. That was the last time that I saw him."

It was the end of such a beautiful story. An audience would've applauded for it if it ended good like a tv drama, but no. This was true to life. In life, stories won't always end up well. I stood from my chair and gave her a tight hug as an outburst of tears came out both from her and myself. Then I remembered how she'd always blame herself of that bad ending. That it was because she lied to my father. Now I know what the lie was, it was when she told my father that she and Minho were already over when their breakup was not yet official for both sides. I don't know if I'm just biased, but I really don't see why my mother has to be blamed for this. If I was her, I'd also think that Minho did not care about me anymore, that I'm already free to love someone else. 

Then at that moment Jiyong popped into my mind. How I didn't want to let go of him after he left me. How I also thought that I shouldn't love anyone else because I was still his girlfriend. But am I? Am I still his girlfriend? Then there was Taeyang in the picture now. He was In-su in my story. The guy who saves a deprived girlfriend from her depressed state. Will I fall for him? And if everything goes well, will I finally forget about what I feel for Jiyong?

There were so many questions that were now giving me a headache. 'How complicated can one's life be?' that was one question I'm really frightened to be answered. 

Tomyidol:

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