The alcohol was starting to sink in. If he could tell without moving up from his chair that was probably a bad sign. Jongin had been naive to think he could get away with one or two more beers if he only stayed long enough to sober up again. He should have known better that his body took to alcohol like... like a cat to water, he thought, narrowing his eyes in thought as someone next to him slammed his fist against the table and caused him to flinch. The idea that anyone could laugh louder than Chanyeol was almost offensive. Jongin wasn't sure he had the right. Around him, many of the Eastern politicians and associates were loud. His people were known for being rather reclusive and laid-back... until alcohol was on the table. If it came to celebrating, they were rather infamous, and that was part of the reason why Jongin stayed away from the bitter beverage - it attracted so many fools.

Right now, though, he was clearly one of them for trying to look sober and invested in the ongoing talk about someone's job, while on the inside, he just wished Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were here. For one, Chanyeol could handle the social communication stuff, and secondly, he wouldn't be so alone then.

Jongin was certainly blaming this on the alcohol, but he really wanted to be around the other two right now. Maybe this was the closest he could get to being . He just couldn't stop imagining the feeling of wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo while Chanyeol pressed himself into his back. He wanted to snuggle into their necks and kiss their skin until it felt hot to the touch. That would be so great-

That very moment, someone slapped his shoulder and asked him whether something similar had ever happened to him. Jongin smiled sweetly, albeit a bit clumsily, as he denied. What were they even talking about? He wasn't even trying to find out. That might make him the worst representative in the history of CARE, but the buzz he was currently feeling was so pleasant and prickly, it reminded him of that time where Kyungsoo and him had taken a bath together-

He really had to go home. A glance to his watch told him that it was way too early. In half an hour, he'd make an excuse of being too drunk.

Just to be sure, Jongin refilled his glass. Generously.

Jongin had chosen Chanyeol's apartment over their shared one that night. Not because the one next to Chanyeol's was mostly a big storage room as of now (they were planning on assembling their furniture as soon as they decided what to put where and which ones would go to the tiny basement). No, he had been walking down the hallway and saw the strip of light coming from Chanyeol's apartment. He didn't bother knocking and just entered, after fiddling with the keys for a bit too long. Damned be the alcohol.

He found Chanyeol lounging on the couch, wearing his big headphones. A bit blearily, Jongin looked around for a sign of Kyungsoo, blinking against the rather harsh light. When he couldn't find him, he unceremoniously approached Chanyeol from behind, plucking his headphones off.

"Where is Kyungsoo?"

Needless to say, Chanyeol almost got a heart attack.

"When did you come in?" he asked, a hand over his heart like the dramatic idiot he was. Jongin paced around to take a seat next to him, but then he hesitated, unhappily staring at the laptop perched on Chanyeol's lap. Chanyeol shot him a quizzical look.

"You're drunk? How did that happen?" he asked. Jongin didn't reply and instead grabbed the laptop to place it on the table so he could slip into Chanyeol's lap.

He actually sighed at the natural way Chanyeol's hands landed on his waist, securing him.

"That drunk?" he asked, half-worried, half-amused, and Jongin shut him up with a kiss, harsh and demanding. There was one thing he could always count on when it came to Chanyeol - no matter the context, he would always kiss back without question, just like he did now, while Jongin's fingers already snuck under his shirt.

Right now, he felt so, so warm. Chanyeol's lips were warm, his skin was warm under his fingertips and Jongin insisted until he could say that yes, his tongue was also warm, and amazingly so. His buzzed mind kept wondering whether this was what it felt like to be . Because somehow, he wanted more. More of Chanyeol, more body contact. He wanted Chanyeol to feel what he was feeling right now. Warmth, gratitude, appreciation, need. So he did what seemed logical, and went for his pants.

"Woah there, take it easy," Chanyeol hummed against his lips, lightly holding him back. "What's this supposed to be when it's done?"

"Want you-" Jongin mumbled, trying to sneak around Chanyeol's fingers, but the other didn't relent.

"No you don't," he said, slightly amused, slightly breathless. Jongin made a frustrated noise he realized was childish. Still, if Kyungsoo had said this, Chanyeol would probably be throwing his pants off right now. Why didn't Chanyeol believe him? Didn't he understand? Why did Chanyeol always understand him but never when Jongin was desperate for it?

"I want you... to want me," he elaborated, trying to Chanyeol's shirt. The other let it happen, at least for the moment, since he was too busy looking at Jongin. There was a sense of wonder and confusion on his face, a silent question lingering in the air. And Jongin was reminded of that time when Chanyeol had told him to convey his feelings a bit better. He bit his lip as he halfheartedly rocked down on his lover, who twitched, but didn't make any attempt at reciprocating the motion. Damn his self-control. Maybe his choice of words had been wrong. Maybe he should try to be as direct as possible, maybe Chanyeol would understand then? He opened his mouth, eyes probably glazed over, but no syllable would come out. Suddenly, his tongue felt so heavy. Then he leaned in, close enough to feel the heat radiating off both their cheeks as he pressed them together, brushing his lips over Chanyeol's ear, enjoying the way his silver strands tickled his nose.

"I love you," he whispered, small and breathy.

Goosebumps were wandering up his own arms and he wondered whether Chanyeol felt the same. His internal monologue was cut off when Chanyeol pressed him close with hands on his upper back. So close that the air was knocked out of his lungs, and then the world was turning, his back hit the couch and Chanyeol was covering him from chest to toe, pushing him into the couch as he nosed along his neck.

"That's not the same thing as want," he hummed against his skin, and Jongin found it hard to think straight because this was what he'd wanted all along. To be encased, to feel Chanyeol all over him to the point that breathing got hard. Yes, this was definitely it.

He was tempted to whine when Chanyeol sat up on his elbows, cupping both of Jongin's cheeks. The light from the ceiling was mercifully blocked by his messy hair, making it seem black at the tips. Unlike awkward, flighty Jongin, Chanyeol looked him straight in the eye, with his cheeks dusted in red and eyes shining - not from exertion or lust, but sheer joy.

"I love you, too," he said quietly, but surely.

Later, they made their way to the neighbouring apartment to join Kyungsoo in their double bed, trying their best not to wake him up (and failing).
 

Maybe Jongin would regret his obnoxious behaviour in the morning, and maybe he would even realize what an idiot he was. He still tended to make everything so complicated, while Chanyeol and Kyungsoo had no trouble handling him at all. It only served as further proof that Jongin still had a long way to go before he could claim to be perfectly balanced. Before he could fully understand how a relationship between a ual person and someone like him could work, before he could finally step over the last remains of the barrier he had unconsciously come up with himself. Good thing that the other two never failed to remind him of that.

There is no barrier between us.

It was a nice thought that even if he was awkward, insensitive and sometimes rude, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were patient and always trying to understand him. They were so good at it, too, Jongin thought as he snuggled closer into the side of a soft, sleepy Kyungsoo side while squeezing Chanyeol’s hand. It was pretty amazing.

Woo, this was just a little something that has been ghosting around my mind ever since someone asked whether Jongin was aromantic, too.
As you can see, he's not *haha*
He's just a little dense sometimes, and still pretty insecure about... a lot of things. They'll cuddle it out of him pretty soon, I'm sure~

Love,
Sugar-and-Salt