"We have it all to ourselves, amazing!"
Jongin sighed in mild exasperation.
"What did you expect on a Tuesday morning?"
He knew by now that snarky comments like that wouldn't faze Chanyeol. Indeed, the taller boy only hummed happily and went straight for the water. Heck, he almost skipped on his way there and Jongin could see him slipping on the tiles, could see it with his inner eye-
A splash followed as Chanyeol jumped in the biggest pool with a childish noise of glee, and Jongin exhaled. Wait, had he been worried? Well... obviously. Chanyeol breaking his neck while he was basically alone with Jongin in this indoor pool would cause nothing but trouble. Headlines in the newspaper.
A destroyed Kyungsoo who might just destroy him.
"It's so nice! Come on in Jongin, come ooon!"
Jongin muttered a half-hearted curse under his breath, but sank into the water nonetheless, with much more grace than that big oaf, thank you very much. The water enveloped him smoothly; a cool, relaxing blanket, and for once, Jongin was rather glad they still continued with their bonding sessions. He knew he'd feel rather uncomfortable going to such a place alone, and with Kyungsoo, it would be a little weird. With Chanyeol though...
"Let's see who reaches the other end first - and go!"
"Who are you to boss me around?!" Jongin snapped back around a mouth of water as he struggled to keep up with Chanyeol, who'd definitely had an unfair head start.
...with Chanyeol it was alright. Because he didn't have to look good in front of him. The atmosphere between them should be different after that incident last week, but Jongin knew it wouldn't be. If he acted as if nothing had happened, Chanyeol would actually follow his lead. He didn't expect anything from him and didn't shrink away, even if Jongin had a flare of temper.
A few months ago, Jongin had assumed that nothing could touch the dopey idiot. Today, he knew better. Park Chanyeol wasn't just a paper cutout anymore. He'd seen him happy, obviously, but also sad, uncomfortable, nervous, and even angry. He didn't know when it started, but somewhere along the way, he'd began to feel irked whenever people threw Chanyeol off balance, forcing those emotions out of him. They didn't even know him, so they had no right. They didn't even have to spend a lot of time around him, unlike Jongin, meaning that they had no right to feel burdened by Chanyeol. And they had no idea which jabs were alright and which weren't. Unlike Jongin.
"I won! I won, I totally won!" Chanyeol enthusiastically said and Jongin defiantly splashed him with water.
"In your dreams, we touched this wall the exact same second - and you cheated, anyway!"
"I wouldn't call it cheat-AH!" Chanyeol yelped as Jongin dipped his head under water, in retaliation. If there was anyone cheating, it ought to be him.
"Two lengths this time!" Jongin called after him, leaving the spluttering and protesting Southener behind.
Yes, at some point he'd developed a twisted sense of protection over Chanyeol. That was probably the only explanation he had for not clawing his big, stupid, shining eyes out for that stunt with Kyungsoo. Because they lit up just a little more when Kyungsoo smiled at him. Because they looked good together.

 

It was something that was on Jongin's mind a lot.
Kyungsoo and Chanyeol.
Chanyeol and Kyungsoo.
And Jongin.
It was never really the three of them, it was those two... and him. It was almost laughable, how he was upgrading his status as a third wheel while the other two got closer. He didn't talk a lot with either of them, but he was no idiot. Their dates seemed to be going quite well.
Jongin aimlessly turned in his office chair, looking at the strips of sunlight on the wall that moved ever so slightly whenever the blinds shifted, his baked goods completely forgotten as his thoughts wandered to his two team members, who were out eating somewhere.

He was curious. And jealous. He wondered what they were talking about, what they were sharing without him. But at the same time, he knew it was for the best that he didn't know. That Chanyeol was so overly secretive about them had puzzled Jongin at first, and even now he wasn't a hundred percent sure what his deal was. Chanyeol couldn't be the reserved type in a relationship, that was just absurd. But after Kyungsoo had so suddenly invited him to tag along a week earlier, Jongin got the lingering suspicion that Chanyeol was overly aware of the odd air between the three of them. That hopeless idiot.
Surprisingly enough, Jongin hadn't felt as outcasted as he'd assumed. Mainly because Kyungsoo had actually made an effort to reach out to him. He should have felt like the object of a lover's dispute, maybe, but that day, Jongin had felt exceptionally ty, and the whole ordeal had certainly distracted him as long as it had lasted. Besides, Kyungsoo was always real to the bone. He never even made the effort to fake interest, so Jongin felt as much as ease as it was possible around the person he felt so strongly for.

Yes, Chanyeol was an idiot. He had no idea. Totally clueless. But he noticed things. And he noticed much more than Jongin was comfortable showing him or anyone, for that matter.
If Jongin was down, Chanyeol would always know - and even though he didn't, couldn't know why exactly, he would put in the effort of approaching him, no matter how harsh Jongin would lash out.
He stopped the chair with one foot and felt his cheeks still burning up in shame when he recalled that faithful day where Chanyeol had run in on him after work. Where he'd actually started crying. The mere memory made him want to bury his face in his arms. everything. How could he break down like that? How could he be so selfish and accept the others comfort, just because he was there and because he was Chanyeol, who wouldn't judge him and whom you could just... use like that. He felt awful in retrospect. The him of a few months ago would have scoffed at Chanyeol being so pitiful to offer himself up like that, but the Jongin that was swaying in his chair right now was scoffing at himself for being so low.
And Chanyeol certainly hadn't forgotten about his break down, that much was clear. All his attention, the way he metaphorically fumbled in the darkness, trying to pinpoint Jongin's exact concerns - it had him itching to just tell him, walk up to him and slap the truth across his face, just to see his startled expression and maybe shut him up for just a second.
He would love to say that Chanyeol didn't get him, but he knew deep inside, that he did. This particular piece of information he was missing... he had no chance of guessing it. And the fact that he was kind of feeling what was going on with Jongin nonetheless was scary-
The phone rang and Jongin stilled in his motions, staring at the origin of the noise. It was the phone located on Chanyeol's desk. His eyes flit up to the clock and yes, they were still officially on break. The ring tone was loud and obnoxious, and Jongin hesitated. His first thought was to simply ignore it. But it was so loud, and what if someone entered and asked him why he wasn't answering or at least rejecting the call? With shaky steps, he went towards the desk, fingers gripping the phone lightly. With a deep breath, he lifted the device off its station, placing it on his ear.
He hated phone calls. He really, really hated phone calls.
"Future Care, Kim Jongin here, what can I do for you?" he rushed out, words already a garbled mess. The voice on the other end was strict, unamused, and so harsh it had him physically flinching.
"What can you do for me?" the voice mockingly repeated and yes, Jongin hated phone calls, "the nerve! You have canceled our contract! After ten years of cooperation! You made that contract with my father and canceled it just like this? I want a reason!"
"I- I don't know what you're talking about Sir, who am I speaking with?" he asked carefully, hating how tiny he sounded.
"Oh, so you're abandoning people left and right that often that you don't even know who I am? Park Changho from ITE corp, does that ring a bell?"
It really, really didn't. How was Jongin supposed to know about all the stuff Chanyeol was dealing with?
"Uhm. I'm sorry, but I can't help you-" he began, only to get cut off by more angry yelling, and he clenched his nails into the arm holding the phone, a habit of stress.
"You dare thinking you can just hang up on me? I'm not a bloody fool and I won't get rejected by some office typist, give me your superior."
Superior? Was he talking about their superiors in the actual CARE organization? He couldn't do that, right? Bothering them with this? The thought alone made him squirm.
"Sir, w-we have no superior in the Future Care department, we're a team-" he mumbled clumsily, realizing how unprofessional and wrong this sounded. As expected, the man blew up even more at this, not giving him a chance to speak.
"You have no superior? Are you ing kidding me?"
Jongin felt his eyes burning, nails digging deeper into his arm. Why did he kept yelling like this? Why didn't he wait for Jongin to actually write down his name? What was his name again?
"Are you telling me the fate of my business lies in the hands of some unauthorized kids, who-"
"I'm sorry!" he loudly said, trying very hard to sound clear and controlled. Failing.
"I'm not in charge of this case, it's Park Chanyeol. He'll get back to it, as soon as he can."
"I won't end this call before-"
"Thank you for your patience. Have a nice day." Jongin mumbled, pressing the red button with shaky fingers. The angry noises stopped and Jongin exhaled deeply, feeling miserable.
Great. Now he could spend the rest of his break replaying the call over and over again in his head, re-thinking his answers and just overall hate himself for his inability to handle people on the phone. Or anywhere, for that matter.
And the worst consequence was...

"I'm sorry." Jongin mumbled, eyes so low they were trained on the tips of his shoes.
"I should have tried to help him, but I just passed him on to you and I think I angered him even more- I'm sorry."
He saw Chanyeol leaning into his personal space, craning his neck to try and get a look of his expression.
"Who?" he asked cluelessly, looking more concerned for Jongin than angry at the fact how Jongin handled their client.
"I'm not sure, some ITE thing?" he half-asked, not daring to meet Kyungsoo's eyes, who was probably judging him so hard right now. With a knowing and quite exaggerated 'ah', Chanyeol straightened his posture.
"That guy..." he hummed and when Jongin risked a peek, he saw Chanyeol roll his eyes in annoyance.
"Don't mind him, he's an idiot. Getting rid of him was long overdue, he so doesn't meet the standards of CARE at all."
"You should really learn how to properly deal with clients." Kyungsoo bluntly said from where he stood nearby with his arms crossed, looking very unimpressed. Jongin didn't wince. It took him everything not to. Chanyeol dismissed the strict words, smoothing over them instantly.
"Nah, that guy is just a jerk. There's no way to talk to him in a reasonable manner- wait, did he insult you or anything?" he asked, quickly changing directions from exasperated to worried, one hand placed on his shoulder. Jongin wanted to swat at him out of nothing but protest, but he'd really ed up and could consider himself lucky that Chanyeol was so chill about it.
"Just. Just some yelling." he muttered, still very uneasy under the piercing gaze of Kyungsoo.
Chanyeol made a frustrated noise and drew him into a firm hug. It was over too quickly for Jongin to bristle and with a reassuring smile, Chanyeol patted his shoulder once more.
"Seriously, don't think about it. I'll take care of it." he said with a thumbs up and strode to his desk, presumably to do just that, right now. Jongin was left to stare after him, until Kyungsoo's raised brow coaxed a meek 'Thank you' out of him. Chanyeol dismissed him with a wave, but that didn't change the fact that Jongin felt awful, for different reasons. Back at his own desk, he tapped his pen against a blank piece of paper.
Reason one - he was a failure at social interaction, racked by completely irrational fear.
Reason two - he had to actually lower his guard and apologize to Park Chanyeol.
Reason three - he'd done it again. Rely on Chanyeol, use him, just because he could. Sure, it had been Chanyeol dealing with this guy before, but the system was there and Jongin was probably better at using it than Chanyeol himself. He could have tried to solve this. But he didn't. He felt disappointed and angry at himself. Chanyeol probably knew, but didn't mind. Kyungsoo, though, was a different story altogether. Kyungsoo clearly wasn't as forgiving (which is to say, Kyungsoo was much more smart and reasonable), and really, Jongin wished he could disappear for today.
A few minutes later, he listened to Chanyeol talking to the angry man. His voice was even, controlled and like a strong wall deflecting all protests and insults the man was probably spewing. It was slightly ridiculous, considering what a bundle of uncontrolled emotions Chanyeol was, but the way he talked to the client somehow made it clear that he had the upper hand in this case.
It pricked his ego to admit it, but he had definitely found a new form of respect for Chanyeol today.
He dealt with nonsense like this on a daily basis. Stuff that would make Jongin cry or at least feel bad about himself for days to come, didn't even faze Chanyeol.
 

Today, as well, Jongin stayed behind last, brushing off Chanyeol's reassurance that it was fine, that he could go home. Ignoring the pointed looks of Kyungsoo.
Jongin just felt more useless than ever, and maybe he could find a few things he could do. And maybe, just maybe, they'd get another late call and Jongin could... practice? Wow, he felt kinda pitiful, but all this conflicting feelings and second thoughts had woven themselves into the conclusion that he just had to improve to stop hiding behind Chanyeol. It was silly, how he knew he should do this for himself, and yet it was the total lack of social pressure by Chanyeol that ultimately sparked his fighting spirit. He huffed out a small laugh. At the end of the day, everything was a competition between them. And maybe that was just what he needed.
Not even five minutes passed before their phone rang, and Jongin almost fell off his chair in shock, half-regretting his brave thoughts from earlier. It wasn't Chanyeol's phone either, it was Jongin's. Which was strange, because no one ever called Jongin. No one but the higher ups from the same building, occasionally. Rarely.
The phone kept ringing.
Alright, time to prove your resolve, he told himself. This was probably just someone from an office upstairs and they might be laughing at his formal introduction, but he'd do this right. He could do this. He was far away and nothing could really happen. With a quick inhale, Jongin reached for the phone.
"Future Care team, Kim Jongin, how can I help you?" he said in one breath, but careful to enunciate the words, though they felt weird on his tongue.
"Mr. Kim." the voice said, no, corrected, and Jongin blinked in surprise.
"H-huh?"
"Excuse me, Jongin. Not 'huh'. You never get informal with clients." the other corrected yet again, and now he could place the smooth voice.
"Kyungsoo?" he asked, dumbfounded.
"I know my name, thank you very much. Besides, you're being quite rude."
It was odd how conversational Kyungsoo sounded. The quality of his voice was a little screwed, like his honey-colored tone was stained by a few grains, but it had Jongin blush nonetheless. Because this was Kyungsoo talking to him, and on the phone nonetheless. He'd never called him before.
"But... why are you calling? Did you forget something?" he asked carefully. A surge of white noise told him that Kyungsoo was sighing.
"I'm calling so you can treat me like a client and get over yourself. I'm not gonna hang up before you get it right." he stated blankly and Jongin made a tiny, garbled noise of general suffering.
"I'll take that as a 'Yes, thank you for your time'." Kyungsoo commented, and was that amusement in his voice? Jongin bit his lip, feeling mildly embarrassed, but also flustered by the mere attention of Kyungsoo. This was really nice indeed, but it would be less hard than talking to a stranger, right?

"Hah... I'm telling you, I had an appointment scheduled with Mr. Park. He personally told me so."
"Alright, let's check the time again," Jongin said, eyes closed in concentration, "Wednesday at two PM, in the Future Care office?"
"Yes."
Jongin hesitated. Kyungsoo waited. Then he got an idea.
"On the 21st of June?" he asked carefully.
"What? The 14th. Definitely the 14th. Or was it?" Kyungsoo said, almost unnaturally calm for someone who got their appointment date wrong.
"I'm sorry, I only found an appointment a week later, maybe y-"
You misheard, he'd meant to say. But that was the wrong approach.
"Maybe there has been a misunderstanding. Since Mr. Park isn't here today, would next week be convenient for you as well, or would you like to set a new date with him?" Jongin asked, fingers still nervously wandering over his arm, but not adding any moon-shaped bruises anymore.
"Ah, next week will be fine. I probably misheard, so embarrassing." Kyungsoo replied, tone much lighter than usual. Jongin couldn't help the small smile.
"You're going easy on me?"
Kyungsoo huffed, and Jongin heard the distinct sound of a refrigerator closing.
"Only because you were doing so well."
Being praised by Kyungsoo was infinitely precious and Jongin couldn't help it. He was practically glowing.
It may be easier talking to someone you knew over the phone (even if that person was strict Kyungsoo), but Jongin also found out that he direly needed this easy start. Kyungsoo was the most patient in their team, and it clearly showed. True to his word, Kyungsoo hadn't hung up on him, and between made up conversations about missed meetings, complaints and miscellaneous concerns, Jongin had gingerly listened to the background noises. There had been the steady rumbling noise at first, telling him that Kyungsoo had immediately called him after boarding a bus home. The noises had been exchanged for street noises, for a silent hallway that had Kyungsoo's words echoing. Regular thumps of feet on stairs, a slightly breathy voice, jingling keys.
It felt like he was oddly connected to Kyungsoo, accompanying him through his day. Combined with the occasionally odd scenarios they made up and sometimes interrupted because they were getting mildly absurd... it felt nice, all of it.
"Only because you're such a good teacher." Jongin said and really, maybe sometimes talking over the phone was easier than talking in real life.
"You sound much better like this." Kyungsoo said and it had his stomach flutter obnoxiously.
"We'll see whether you can keep it up at work tomorrow. You should really go home, by the way. It's getting late."
Oh. Jongin looked at the clock. It was half past eight already. He's been talking to Kyungsoo for about three and a half hours. And if he was concerned, he'd continue doing so for another hour, talking about non-work-related things, maybe. But that would remain part of his imagination for now.
"Right," he said instead, trying to sound as sincere as possible. "Thank you for your help. I'll give my best tomorrow."
Kyungsoo hummed and it sounded like he was taking a gulp of something. Jongin low-key wished he was with him. A dangerous thought he swatted immediately. After all, Kyungsoo was with Chanyeol.
"See you tomorrow, then." Kyungsoo said and Jongin held him back before he knew it.
"Wait!"
A few seconds of silence followed, and he could basically see Kyungsoo's half-confused, half-impatient look. But he waited. He'd done that a lot the past hours.
"You only do this for Chanyeol, right?" Jongin timidly inquired, and really, what was he even trying to achieve? Kyungsoo contemplated this for a couple seconds, and it was Jongin's time to wait.
"So do you, don't you?" he finally asked. His voice was steady, the words simple and yet they carried a complex, heavy meaning.
Jongin didn't know an answer to that. Kyungsoo bid him farewell shortly after, leaving Jongin to abandon the hot device in his hand as well as his deserted work place... to take this heavy meaning home with him.


 

As I'm teetering between deadlines, I'm clinging onto this story like a koala.
(The metaphors I use to express my devotion to this are getting more creative with each chapter)

So, yeah. Jongin is still struggling, but he's getting somewhere.

It may not seem like a big deal to some of you -handling calls- but to some people, it is. Social Anxiety has a lot of faces, and even though Jongin has stated in the past that he's not afraid of people, not in the way Kyungsoo is, there are different types of fear. Cause that's the key motif of this story, right? Feeear... and agonyyyy
Sorry. Thanks for supporting this story, despite me being silly, cryptic and overall me c:

Love,
Sugar-and-Salt ♥