Jongin stared at him, all pretense wiped off his face.
He looked... scared.
As it was so often the case, Kyungsoo was the first one to get himself together.
"What does that mean?"
His voice was calm, but there was a speck of uncertainty to his question. Chanyeol felt bad for him, no, for both of them.
"If you're aual, you're not-" Chanyeol began timidly, but was swiftly cut off by Kyungsoo.
"I know what it means," he stated, and Chanyeol physically flinched at the sharp undertone that Kyungsoo hadn't used on him in a long time. "I know the textbook definition, and it says that there are many different interpretations," Kyungsoo continued, putting an obvious effort into staying calm, "that's why I'm asking."
Jongin stared at him now, and Chanyeol could see the way he was desperately searching for words, could see it in the way his fingers were slightly shaking, nails pressing into his tan skin. It was a habit of Jongin's, one he'd fall into whenever he was very nervous. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, remained an enigma to him. He'd been rather quiet and controlled throughout the whole exchange, but this reveal had him close off even more. Or maybe Chanyeol just couldn't read him because he was blinded by fear. Fear that he had messed up for good, fear that every further step would make their situation worse.
"I..." Jongin began, and now the attention was on him alone. Jongin had told him that he knew very well what he was capable off, so he must have been aware of how though his would be for him, too. Chanyeol wanted to comfort him, but even if Jongin was right next to him, he knew he'd be too afraid to move a muscle. He didn't even dare look Kyungsoo in the eye right now.
Jongin exhaled deeply, and met Kyungsoo's gaze with all the strength he could muster. It wasn't much.
"I don't have ual relationships. By choice," he began, speaking very slowly to control the tremble in his voice, "what I feel and do, is defined as 'platonic' relationships."
Chanyeol wanted to intervene, just because the brunet's eyes were beginning to shine with unshed tears, but Jongin appeared determined to get this over with.
"So what I'm saying is- I'm not-"
Jongin swallowed hard and forced his body to relax, forced himself to look at them.
"I'm not going to come in between you."
"How would you define it?" Kyungsoo asked, not missing a beat. And still, Chanyeol was only left to watch the exchange, dearly wishing he could escape it, escape the whole messy situation. Because the way Jongin was behaving, the way he had talked to him at the night of the concert, didn't suggest platonic. And somehow, Kyungsoo must've sensed it, too.
"Why do you care? It wouldn't make a difference-"
"It does make a difference!" Kyungsoo fell in, and now a bit of his anger was flashing up. "Whether we like it or not!"
"It does not make a difference!" Jongin yelled right back at him, jumping to his feet as he raised his voice against Kyungsoo for the second time ever. The first tear was already wetting the corner of his eyes, and his face was dusted red by both anger and desperation alike.
"Whether I'm telling you I love you or not won't affect the outcome if what I feel is platonic friendship for everyone else! It doesn't ing matter! I can't prove my feelings, I can't prove that I'm in love - because apparently, love is defined by !"
Not even Kyungsoo said anything as Jongin furiously rubbed over his eyes with his sleeves.
"No one would ever take it seriously, especially not if it's two persons - it's nothing but a proof to the world that this are ing worthless, platonic feelings!" he spat, full of disdain, and Chanyeol opened his mouth before he knew it.
"They're not worthless! I like both of you, too, and I'm not aual-"
He in a deep breath, stopping abruptly. He'd said it out loud. That he liked Jongin. He'd said it out loud, like an intentional slap to Kyungsoo's face. Jongin, too, seemed more than surprised by this, judging by the way he stilled in his outburst.
"I-I'm sorry..." Chanyeol mumbled, eyes flitting down into his lap. He's said it, and now Kyungsoo must think he'd leave him, and there was this pressure in his lungs acting up again-
Kyungsoo placed his hand over Chanyeol's in one swift move. Soft and pliant skin over his tense, white knuckles. It was the first time he had reached out to him that day. It felt good, much better than such a simple gesture should.
"What do you even- you have no idea what you're talking about-" Jongin stammered, more startled than accusing, but Kyungsoo jumped to his defense either way.
"Don't be so presumptuous. Complaining about people don't taking your feelings seriously while doing the same, and to someone who claims to like you. Get your together."
But Chanyeol only shook his head, gripping Kyungsoo's fingers tightly.
"It's okay. He didn't mean it like that," he murmured, and the Northener only huffed, before snapping so suddenly, that Chanyeol actually looked up.
"Don't you dare leave now, Kim Jongin!"
His eyes found the brunet, who had frozen in his previous movement.
"You are not going to leave this room before we settled this, don't even think about it."
Jongin looked pained, conflicted, but also stubborn and angry. Still, he complied and sank back into his chair very slowly, fixing Kyungsoo with a defiant gaze. Chanyeol looked back down into his lap before Jongin's eyes could find his.
The seconds ticked by, and for once, Chanyeol was at a total loss. All the secrets were out, spread across this room which had always connected them, and he could do nothing but twist and turn them in his head as he for once waited for someone else to step up. It couldn't be him somehow being the buffer this time. Because both of them were invested in him to some point, so neither of the two would tolerate him sacrificing himself in any way. Any move he'd make would only tip the delicate balance that was keeping them from shouting at each other right now.
It was laughable how long it had taken Chanyeol to get this part about Jongin, especially considering how well he usually understood the complex boy. But in retrospect, it all made so much sense - because Jongin was aual, Chanyeol had misinterpreted his affection towards not only Kyungsoo, but now him. Because his interest in Kyungsoo had never been of a ual nature. He'd never shown any of the usual subtle signs that betray physical attraction. As for him, Jongin had shown nothing but ease regarding physical contact. He'd tug Chanyeol around, straddle his lap or even grind up against him, thinking not much into it. Or maybe that's not exactly right, Chanyeol corrected himself. Jongin knew what it was doing to others, but was completely unaffected himself. Maybe, if Chanyeol had actually read the signs earlier, he wouldn't have been so surprised by Jongin's confession. Chanyeol had always assumed that Jongin had somehow taken a liking to him, despite being unwilling to show it and encourage him in any way, but that he'd treasured what they had to this extent...
"Fine."
Ripped out of his thoughts, Chanyeol's head whipped up to regard Kyungsoo, vaguely registering that Jongin was doing the same. The Northener was subtly wetting his lips, nodding to himself ever so slightly. No one voiced out the obvious question, though Jongin's and Chanyeol's eyes actually met in mutual confusion. Kyungsoo inhaled deeply, gaze flickering up to regard Jongin.
"You want to be with both of us?"
His voice resembled his gaze. Firm and unwavering.
"Fine."
The following silence was so heavy that Chanyeol swore they were holding their breath. All of them.
"What?" Jongin breathed out, looking mildly panicked. Kyungsoo appeared much more unfazed than he actually was, judging by the way his fingers pressed into Chanyeol's.
"It's the most logical solution. You like each other," he began, looking over at Chanyeol for a fleeting second, "and I like Chanyeol. I may be selfish, but I can't keep him by force. He's not ours to rip apart. So this is the only possible solution allowing me to stay with him."
Chanyeol couldn't do anything but blankly stare at him, trying to comprehend the meaning of this.
"But... but you don't like me," Jongin protested weakly, looking as overwhelmed as Chanyeol felt.
Kyungsoo's grip was tight enough to color both their fingers white, and Chanyeol squeezed back in self-defense.
"Then convince me. Try me."
It was a bold statement, something akin to a challenge. Chanyeol knew his answer already, and wasn't surprised when Jongin slowly shook his head, looking stunned and still frightened.
"But- I can't be with you like that, it doesn't-"
"Do you want us or not?" Kyungsoo cut him off, the challenge bleeding into accusation, "this is a ing mess, obviously, but I'm putting in some effort here! Don't just pull out and leave the chaos behind - take responsibility, goddammit! I'll ask you once more: do you want us or not?"
In a twisted way, it felt like a conflict at work, and the location wasn't helping. The way they were approaching this, with Kyungsoo pushing through and Chanyeol himself just trying not to mess things up. They had clashed like this all the time, and still did, occasionally. The one bringing them to the turning point... was usually Jongin. Jongin with his unconventional ideas and Kyungsoo with his will to give them a chance. Now the tables had turned, and Kyungsoo stared at him in expectancy. Now Jongin was the one expected to catch the opportunity thrown at him.
And he did catch it.
"I do."
He still looked a little shell-shocked, but the words came out without hesitation.
"I don't know how this is supposed to work out, but-"
"Doesn't matter," Kyungsoo cut him off, though his tone actually softened, and Chanyeol could feel a bit of the tension leaving him. "You want it, that's all we need right now."
Kyungsoo finally turned to him, dark orbs searching his.
"What about you, Yeol? Do you want to do this?"
After not being involved for so long, Chanyeol was startled to be addressed this suddenly. Why was he even asking? It should be a matter of course that he agreed - after all, he and Jongin were the ones making this complicated, and Kyungsoo was willing to make amends-
"Don't think about what you should do," Kyungsoo continued, as if he'd read his thoughts, "think about the way you want it to be."
Chanyeol swallowed hard, but followed the request.
It was difficult to picture it, being with two persons. It would be a constant struggle of balance and jealousy, right? On the other hand, he did like both of them.
Kyungsoo gauged his reaction patiently, and something about it sparked the realization that with Kyungsoo, he could just be honest. Kyungsoo had always encouraged him to rather lean on him with the heavy truth than to keep him at a distance.
"I don't know..." he began slowly, and for a moment, the presence of Jongin was wiped off his mind. "I don't know if this is a good idea, or if I can do it. But I'd try. For us. For all of us, I'd try."
He was rewarded with a small smile, and Kyungsoo bumping their foreheads together, to whisper a quiet 'alright' against his lips. When he drew away, the little slip of attitude vanished as quick as it had come, making way for determination.
"Alright," he repeated a little louder, and Jongin spoke up again, unable to keep it in.
"But how? How are you imagining this to work out?" he asked, almost exasperated at this point, but it all but pearled off, lost on Kyungsoo, who countered calmly.
"One step at a time. Just let it sink in for awhile. We'll talk about it tomorrow."
With this, the Northener got up, closed his laptop and reached for his jacket. He looked at both of them, and his voice dropped to a softer tone once more.
"Good night you two."
And for once it was Kyungsoo who left first, laptop left behind as a clear sign that he wasn't planning on doing any work today. That his mind was occupied enough already. He had barely slipped out of the door when Chanyeol jumped to his feet, determined to follow him.
"He's doing it again."
Chanyeol ignored Jongin's quiet words, but the next statement had him stop in the door frame.
"He doesn't know what he signed himself up for."
He bit his lips, shoulders tensing.
"Then maybe you should try to be strong for him, for once," he mumbled, not doing as much as look Jongin's way before scrambling down the hallway and after Kyungsoo.


 

Hot. So hot.
Kyungsoo's slightly more tan skin was damp and sticking to his where their exposed bodies were pressed together. Kyungsoo wasn't very vocal, but the way his breath hitched and hips bucked told Chanyeol all he needed to know.
They hadn't said a word to each other ever since that whole incident at the office. He'd quietly padded after him, and Kyungsoo had tolerated it without a word. The moment he had let Chanyeol inside his tiny apartment, the Southener had pressed him up against the door, kissing him almost feverishly. Now they were both lying on his bed, clothes strewn somewhere on the floor, as Chanyeol a hickey to his collar bone, not too far from the previous one. They hadn't ever gone this far, usually sticking to kissing and maybe light teasing. Now Chanyeol had almost desperately tugged off the other's shorts, yearning to feel him. Kyungsoo let him.
The body beneath his was burning up, and sensitive enough to quiver at every light of his fingers. Chanyeol reached around until he could drag a firm palm down Kyungsoo's back, pressing them together. He silently arched into it, hands looped around Chanyeol's neck, and actually panted when Chanyeol pinned him to the mattress in a grinding motion.
His fingers wandered down the surprisingly solid upper body, skirting around his inner thighs... and Chanyeol kissed up the side of his neck yet again, almost restlessly.
Minuscule pressure was enough for Kyungsoo to pliantly lift his leg and loop it around Chanyeol's waist. his lips, Chanyeol dove down, leaving a trail of wet kisses in his wake, until he was crouching between the other's legs, lips resting on the soft skin of his inner thigh, one hand keeping it up.
And he hesitated yet again.
Pressed distracted kisses up his thigh and towards his knees.
And then he made the mistake of looking down at Kyungsoo, whose eyes were fixed on him. Pupils blown, lightly panting, fringe already beginning to stick to his forehead. Kyungsoo, who was almost painfully hard, and hadn't made a single move on him going beyond reciprocation of what Chanyeol was initiating.
Kyungsoo, with his deep, dark orbs.
And Chanyeol gave up.
"I can't," he whispered, softly placing Kyungsoo's leg down. "I'm sorry."
He fully expected Kyungsoo to be disappointed, to seek distance, but before he could attempt to climb off him, strong arms were looped around his back, tugging him back down. With a huff, Chanyeol settled on the smaller body, and let his weak self cling onto him. He buried his nose in the side of Kyungsoo's neck, fighting the misery as he whispered against his damp skin.
"I can't do it. I'm sorry."
He felt fingers settle in his nape, rubbing comforting circles, and Kyungsoo let out a breathy chuckle.
"It's okay."
Chanyeol wanted to die of embarrassment. What was he even doing, leading him on like this? Starting something he couldn't finish?
But when he began to squirm, Kyungsoo only hugged him tighter, folding his leg over Chanyeol's to keep him in place.
"I don't have condoms, anyway. Or lube."
Oh. Somehow, he'd just assumed Kyungsoo had those. Now his face was positively burning.
"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked quietly, feeling like crying. Kyungsoo shrugged, Chanyeol felt the alluded motion running through his body.
"I trusted you."
He winced. Of course Kyungsoo had felt it. That this was a pitiful attempt at proving his devotion to him. That he was desperately clinging onto Kyungsoo. But he had still trusted him to realize his mistake in time.
Kyungsoo always trusted him, no matter how much of a -up Chanyeol was.
The fingers in his nape never ceased moving, playing with the strands of messy hair.
"You've never disappointed me so far," Kyungsoo hummed into his hair.
That night, Chanyeol actually cried a bit. But it wasn't the bad kind of crying. Neither the lonely nor panicky one. No, this was the good kind, the one where you let out all the pressuring emotions and someone catches you, hugging you tight enough to keep you together.
 

Another crucial turning point in the story~
All the characters have a lot of input to deal with now, but we can only have one at a time, right?

Did I mention that there will be in this story? I hope y'all are alright with that :o

I was itching to get to the point explaining why Chanyeol was so 'ignorant' about Jongin's affection...!
(I'm constantly worried you might dislike Chanyeol, but then I tell myself that my readers are smart cookies who can see all the subtle hints and explanations about him~)

Love,
Sugar-and-Salt ♥