Chanyeol was seriously beginning to feel bored, when Kyungsoo brought up a new task one Wednesday afternoon. Sure, there was a bunch of routinely tasks passed on to them by their higher ups to keep them busy, and they certainly didn't lack ideas for future projects. But while their work place and salary was financed by the government, anything beyond it was crowd-funded or sponsored. Their first project had gained an overall positive feedback, and the unfortunate political trouble had barely affected most of their donors. However, they had mutually agreed on not rushing things. Rather than that, they'd concentrated on creating a transparent homepage to publicly document their activities, and announced that they'd start their next, big project at the beginning of the fourth quarter of the year. Now it was late August and they had plenty of time left. Time Kyungsoo had found more means to fill with work.
"Like business consultancy. You know what that is, right?" he was just asking, looking at his two fellow team members. Jongin hesitated and Chanyeol could see the slightly strained, impatient look on Kyungsoo's face, but the Northener didn't snap at him. It was progress, no matter how small.
"Yeah, my parents do stuff like that," Chanyeol began, clearing up Jongin's confusion in Kyungsoo's place, "it often means that you personally go to a company and help them sort stuff out. Kinda like a rented accountant or whatever it is that they need."
Jongin nodded in understanding, though he didn't verbally thank Chanyeol. Again, progress.
The stubborn boy still seemed so adamant on not 'losing' to Chanyeol, and he probably shouldn't find it as adorable as he did. Chanyeol was all for friendly competition, and he could definitely tell that Jongin was slowly losing his malicious edge, so he saw no harm in humoring him.
"And you're saying you want to do that... without me." Jongin said and the disappointment was undeniable. It pricked Chanyeol's heart. Kyungsoo seemed unfazed as ever, merely bringing the facts to the table.
"Someone has to stay behind. We only got one week to fix as much as we can, and out of all the applicants, I chose a facility that definitely needs us. I need a helping hand and Chanyeol has already agreed to accompany me."
Jongin's eyes flickered between the other two, and Chanyeol saw him chewing on his lip.
"But..." he began in a voice so tiny it just died after the first syllable. Again, Chanyeol felt sorry for him. If it wasn't for Kyungsoo, he'd probably protest by now, giving him his full load of snark, and he could practically hear his complaints.
"Look, I know you're better at techy stuff than me," he began gently, undeterred by the fact that Jongin refused to meet his eyes, "but that's the reason you're needed here. You're our all-rounder, aren't you?"
"This is a pathetic attempt at comforting me. I'm not a child." Jongin protested, sounding exactly like a sulky kid, though one that has already admitted defeat.
"It would be very pathetic, except he's right." Kyungsoo said, surprisingly gently, and it had Jongin looking up at last.
"You're the most well-rounded out of us three, so it only makes sense. Just one week, that makes five working days. We both know you can do that."
As always, Kyungsoo wasn't one to offer praises or exaggerated enthusiasm, but the way he said it made it obvious he really believed in it, not to mention that he'd purposefully said 'we both', establishing some sort of connection between the two of them. It coaxed a half-dejected, half-grateful little smile out of Jongin, and Chanyeol felt the strong urge to hug Kyungsoo, simply for being so proud of him. He didn't. Obviously.

 

"You only volunteered to accompany me because you were worried for Jongin, didn't you?"
Chanyeol's head shot up at the question, the phone in his hands forgotten. He decided to switch into flight mode to save battery and give his eyes a break - he was beginning to feel a little woozy already with the vibrations of the train shaking the words on the screen. To his right, Kyungsoo looked at him expectantly, their sides touching ever so slightly.
"What do you mean?" he asked, though he was fairly certain what Kyungsoo was alluding to.
"I know you would've sent Jongin with me in an instant, just so the boy feels 'included'," Kyungsoo began, and there was definitely annoyance in the way he emphasized the word, "but you didn't, because of the location."
Chanyeol felt the tips of his ears grow red, and the way his shoulders hunched up instinctively was an obvious giveaway. How could he have ever assumed Kyungsoo might not notice it? Kyungsoo noticed everything. There was no point in pretending in front of him. So he shrugged sheepishly.
"Yeah. Kinda."
Kyungsoo nodded to himself with an unreadable gaze, but while Chanyeol felt sorry, he couldn't take it back. Because it was true. There were a lot of facilities asking for assistance, and Kyungsoo in particular loved to provide it whenever he could, though he'd never taken a case that required his presence. A lot of orphanages were lacking the means and staff to keep their finances or technical systems in check, and free help was like a blessing to them. And because Do Kyungsoo was really, really dedicated, he'd chosen the facility that looked most like 'an utter disaster', as he'd called it, and now they were squished in a train that drove along the Western shore. After a long train ride and a following ride with the ferry, they'd be about as far away from any other nation as they possibly could. Meaning that they'd be on the most conservative territory possible, and if even the capital had demonstrations running against someone of Eastern decent, Chanyeol didn't want to picture the hate Jongin might get in this faraway place. Jongin was a complex bundle of emotions, a thick layer of feigned coyness hiding a strong attitude, which caused a whole lot of stress by being repressed all on its own. As long as he wasn't able to fully let go and live out this attitude of his, the hate would cut him with every word, and Chanyeol wanted to avoid this at all costs.
So, yes. Kyungsoo was right, Chanyeol had merely made this decision for him.
But...
"That doesn't mean I'm not happy to spend a week with you." he added shyly, probing. Kyungsoo blinked, looking positively surprised, and settled for a mild smile.
"This is not a vacation, Chanyeol. There's a ton of work waiting for us."
"Yeah. Work we'll face together. I'll do my best." Chanyeol promised and in a surge of emotion, he nestled his head into Kyungsoo's hair, an odd mix of hiding himself and attempting to cuddle at the same time. He felt the Northener tense for just a fraction, before he let it happen with a low hum.
"You better do, or I won't take you along next time."
The train kept shaking them, and Chanyeol knew he was horrible at faking to be asleep -since he kept shifting his weight in order not to burden Kyungsoo too much- but he had run out of things to say, and Kyungsoo gladly took this rare display of silent affection. It wasn't like Chanyeol was running out of things to think about though, quite the opposite. His head was a jumbled mess of thoughts, emotions and conflicts, all of them centered around himself, Kyungsoo... and Jongin.

"You look pretty excited."
This was an understatement - Chanyeol basically vibrated with excitement, his fingers eagerly drumming on the railing of the ferry, as they waited for it to set off, completely unfazed by the strong wind around them.
"Well, of course I am - you don't get to be on a boat everyday, right?" he asked, and the Northener tilted his head a little, eyes roaming the waves.
"I suppose so."
Chanyeol halted in the progress of hyping himself up, in favor of observing Kyungsoo for a bit. There was definitely something different about him. For all his nonchalance, Kyungsoo looked pretty attentive, eyes flickering all over the place, and both hands orderly placed on the railing. As if he was really unfamiliar with this situation? Chanyeol usually prided himself in being good at reading people, and while Kyungsoo used to be a mystery to him, things were getting easier the more glimpses of his character he got.
"How often have you been on a boat, then?" he asked lightly, and dark eyes flitted over to him, before they found the waves again.
"This is the first time."
"Really?!" Chanyeol claimed loud enough to have people turn their heads, and Kyungsoo nudged his side in obvious embarrassment.
"You're too loud."
The words completely pearled off of Chanyeol's new-found excitement.
"You've never been on a boat? Not even a simple ferry, like this?"
"Is that so hard to believe? In an orphanage you don't really do cruises, if you know what I mean."
Chanyeol nodded, mouth forming a silent 'o'. Of course, Kyungsoo had grown up with... nothing. Well, not nothing, after all he'd been surrounded by plenty of loving people, but financially-speaking he'd probably been less than blessed, if it was anything like the orphanages Chanyeol had been to so far.
It was something that regularly slipped his mind, but Kyungsoo didn't seem offended.
"Are you nervous?"
Kyungsoo shrugged, vainly trying to keep his hair under control. Chanyeol vaguely wondered whether it'd smell salty like the sea around them by now, and dismissed the traitorous thoughts. He shouldn't think about this.
"Maybe I'll get sea-sick." he simply said, and with a generous smile, Chanyeol drew him in a firm side hug.
"It'll only be, like, forty minutes. I'm sure you'll live!"
The ferry did set off ultimately, and for once, Chanyeol didn't think about anyone other than the boy tucked into his side, silently marveling at how well he fit there.


"What do you mean, you feel sick?!"
"Sorry..."
"But you were so excited earlier!"
"I love the sea! The sea just doesn't love me back!"
"Seriously, Chanyeol, get away from the railing, you should lie down..."

They arrived without a hitch (and without Chanyeol puking his guts out, thank god), and he really had to remind himself that this wasn't a vacation. Sure, the island consisted mostly of a rather shabby city, but the orphanage was so far outside that it was close to the shore again, and even though their cheap hotel room only had a tiny window, it showed a glimpse of waves clashing with a cliff almost leisurely.
He'd barely opened his suit case, when Kyungsoo threw one of the hotel's towels at him.
"Go take a shower, we'll go to the facility in half an hour."
With his hands raised in defeat, Chanyeol trudged to the bathroom. This was going to be a fun week.

It wasn't necessarily late when they returned, but considering that they'd promised to be back by seven in the morning, Chanyeol considered eleven PM to be late enough. With a relieved sigh, he toed off his shoes and gracelessly plopped down on the plush carpet around the tiny, low table, placing the containers of take out on top of it. Kyungsoo followed him moments later, a bottle of water from the fridge in one hand and two cups in the other.
"This better taste good." he muttered pessimistically, and Chanyeol unwrapped the food like he'd open a Christmas present - eager and unceremoniously.
"If your standards are too high, you're not hungry enough." he hummed, and Kyungsoo snorted, muttering a quick 'true' as he reached for a pair of chopsticks.
Call Chanyeol a glutton, but nothing improved the quality of his life more effectively than hot food.
"It's not bad." he said around a mouthful of fried duck, feeling stuffed like a hamster.
"It's atrocious," Kyungsoo mumbled, picking around his noodles to scoop up as many as possible, "I love it."
Chanyeol snorted and narrowly avoided making a mess for once.
"Sure, it can't compare with the chicken you made."
The compliment was easily dismissed by Kyungsoo.
"Oh, that. That was nothing special."
Chanyeol begged to differ. He wasn't a bad chef per sé, he just usually lacked the time. Still, he had enough skills to be able to tell that Kyungsoo was doing a fantastic job. Only after tasting the dinner on their first, awkward date, did he connect the dots that Kyungsoo's lunch had to be homemade as well. He was wondering...
"Did you learn that at... home?" he asked, only hesitating for a split second. Kyungsoo decided not to mention it.
"What, cooking?"
"Yeah. I don't really know... ah, I feel so ignorant, but I have no idea how you actually grew up and stuff." Chanyeol stammered, tripping over his words.
"You've visited a few orphanages with me."
"Yes! But it's not really the same. I can't really know about your experiences and what it's like to actually live in one, right?"
"It's not that different or special, I guess. Though I wouldn't be able to compare either, so there's that." Kyungsoo simply said, tone not betraying anything as he poked around his container in search for more tofu.
"Are you angry?" Chanyeol asked carefully, observing his expression closely. Kyungsoo looked up, belatedly realizing that Chanyeol was getting antsy and shook his head.
"Nah. It's alright. It's not like you're assuming I lived like the Little Match girl or anything. It's really nothing special though. It's like living at a boarding school, maybe? You always have a lot of people around you, and instead of parents you have many care-takers. Other than that..."
He seemed to earnestly rack his brain about something worth mentioning, the food temporarily forgotten.
"I can't speak for everyone, but a lot of us adapted a certain sense of modesty and responsibility, I think? Since you're being part of a rather big family and the means are restricted. Everybody has to play their part to make things work. For me, the best way to be useful was by cooking. It's easier to hold your ground if there's something you're in charge of, too, you know? At the end of the day, I definitely didn't like all the inhabitants or caretakers, but I wasn't terribly lonely or anything. It's not..." he trailed off, looking a little conflicted, and Chanyeol waited patiently, all but soaking up his words.
"It's not exactly a sob story, like many people think."
Chanyeol shook his head quickly.
"I didn't expect it to be! Still, that sounds like quite the experience. And I get how you became such a cranky guy - you basically had like, what, thirty siblings? I only have one sister and we gave each other enough to last a lifetime!" he joked, and Kyungsoo nudged him half-heartedly. He looked a little out of his element, now that he was talking about himself. He didn't seem inherently reluctant to do so, and Chanyeol assumed that only few people had bothered to ask him about his past before.
"You should talk more about yourself. It's interesting." he earnestly said and what was meant to be purely encouraging, had Kyungsoo raise a brow at him.
"Now if that's not an ancient pick up line from the book."
Chanyeol spluttered (quite literally, unfortunately, as he got food all over himself).
"I didn't mean it like that! Just- I just feel like I don't know a lot about you-"
"Talk about yourself." Kyungsoo retorted and Chanyeol blinked.
"Huh?"
"Where did you learn how to cook? You mentioned that you can do a few dishes." Kyungsoo asked calmly, and it helped grounding Chanyeol.
"Ah. No one taught me, I was just by myself most of the time, and my parents refused to buy a lot of frozen pizza. I had to get creative at some point, and believe me, you wouldn't want to see a few of my earlier creations-"
"How old were you?" Kyungsoo asked instantly, and the unwavering, genuine attention was oddly flustering.
"I don't know, I started somewhere around the age of ten." he shrugged.
"Alone in the kitchen at the age of ten," Kyungsoo mused, "your parents were quite the busy consultants, huh?"
Chanyeol didn't know what to say to that, but neither did he want Kyungsoo to get the wrong idea.
"They were barely home, but I wasn't too sad. I always had a lot of friends, hobbies and whatnot. Not a big deal. It may sound cliche, but really," he reassured Kyungsoo, who still gauged him intensely, "it's not that much of a sob story."
The Northener smiled at this, and decided to pour some water into their empty cups. A hot surge of affection bloomed somewhere around Chanyeol's lungs, because unlike most other people, Kyungsoo understood.


He still thought about this awhile later, when he lay in bed. Kyungsoo always understood, and yet he barely got anything of what was going on inside the tacit boy's head.
"You really should talk more." he spoke into the silence, and somewhere across the room, a blanket rustled as Kyungsoo presumably turned towards him.
"Hm?"
"You should talk about yourself more often. About what you think, I mean. Anything, really." Chanyeol elaborated clumsily.
"Why are you so hung up on this?" Kyungsoo asked sleepily, and Chanyeol replied before he could help it.
"Because I'm stupid and I won't get you otherwise."
He heard the other huff in amusement.
"I'll consider it."
Some more rustling occurred, and then it was silent. It took awhile, but finally, he heard the others breathing even out. Chanyeol suppressed a sigh and tried not to make too much noise, unsure whether Kyungsoo was a light sleeper or not. He'd like to blame it on the fact that he'd slept so much on the train, but it was obvious that it were his thoughts keeping him awake. He didn't know what to do. He really didn't know. There were moments like that time when Kyungsoo had gently, but firmly roused him on the train earlier. Moments where his heart twitched because of how mature he was, how he managed to make him feel safe even though he barely reached up to his shoulder. It would spark something in Chanyeol, a deep urge to offer protection in turn.
There were also moments like the one on the ferry, where he'd look at Kyungsoo battling with his tousled hair and couldn't help thinking how handsome he was - in this pure, yet quietly demanding, captivating, way, that was just so distinctly Kyungsoo. This, too, would spark something in him, a yearning he'd felt for awhile and kept locked away in the depths of his mind.
Because all of this was overpowered by a wave of guilt. Bitter, cold, relentless guilt over the fact that Chanyeol's heart still skipped a beat whenever he saw Jongin. It had been clear from the moment their team had first come together and Jongin had glared at him with a scalding viciousness, that this crush was silly. And Chanyeol didn't want to be Jongin's lover or anything, he really didn't. He just found Jongin really attractive, both physically and as a person. But still, how could he ever make a move on Kyungsoo, with the way his eyes had raked down Jongin's exposed body in the indoor swimming pool a week ago? How could he even look him in the eye? He couldn't wholeheartedly hand himself over to Kyungsoo when a part of him remained physically attracted to Jongin - it felt like cheating. But he would never cheat on anyone. With a groan, Chanyeol rolled to his side, wrapping himself up in a tight blanket cocoon.
Stupid infatuation. Stupid him. It wasn't fair. Not to any of them.

 

Still overly eager for this fic, still in denial over my responsibilities, nothing new here...

This little arc was getting so long that I decided to split it in two.
Can you tell my infatuation with Chanyeol yet? Poor boy doesn't know what's the right thing to do... Good thing Soo is patient.

Lots of love,
Sugar-and-Salt ♥

P.S.: I think we all have that one thing we love, but which doesn't seem to love us back. For me it's a certain type of meat only available in my country. It tastes SO good, and yet it makes me SO sick! :D