Right and Wrong

Three Types Of Fear

 

"I'm honored to be a part of this project."
What a liar, Chanyeol had thought with a disapproving frown when his eyes first fell on the printed interview.
Honored, my . If any it would be the exact opposite - Do Kyungsoo clearly loathed the fact that he was part of this team. Asking him in private he'd probably state that both him and Jongin were utterly useless. And even though Chanyeol was rational enough to readily acknowledge his computing skills any day, Kyungsoo was so extremely lacking in the social department it wasn't even funny anymore. He'd probably been the type of kid able to even turn a basic elementary school presentation into some social warfare.
Kyungsoo thought he was all that and completely disregarded the fact that there were far more factors than numbers alone. And not only went anything social beyond his understanding, he was also too narrow-minded to acknowledge this and kept verbally attacking Jongin with no holding back whatsoever.
His choice of words almost accounted as being vicious and why anyone would be like this towards Jongin was completely beyond him when in reality, Kyungsoo could learn a great deal of things from the quiet Eastener.
That was his opinion before the whole memo-pad thing Jongin had started.
Now Chanyeol held two pieces of paper with one baring a huge surprise.

 



Chanyeol really liked Jongin. Not in a weird way, but in a way that he had respect for him. Jongin was neither the smartest out there nor very slick with human interaction. But he knew his own traits extremely well and found a way to get the most out of it. And even though not conventionally smart he had a way of thinking outside-the-box and thus coming up with fresh ideas perfect for their purpose. Which is why he had blindly followed his suggestion to write down his opinion on those memo notes. Maybe the positive effect had yet to show but reading the opinions of the other two definitely got him thinking. Not only about the ones he had received, quite the opposite. He couldn't stop re-thinking and regretting the words he had written down about Kyungsoo. Sure, he had been honest, just as Jongin had suggested. But being so blunt and straight-forward with a negative opinion felt foreign to him and would probably haunt him forever with biting second-thoughts.

When the three met up at the office the next day, they all seemed keen on ignoring everything that had transpired the day before. Kyungsoo just curtly announced he'd continue to do the charts he had been working on and so Chanyeol followed suit, making a few calls and the usual routinely tasks. If they wanted to take their time, so be it. It wasn't like Chanyeol had a better idea anyway. But while they both worked in different corners of the room he couldn't miss the way Jongin was seated around the table in the middle, taking care of simple accounting-related stuff on paper(basically the only thing Kyungsoo would entrust him with) and taking a few rather long breaks spent quietly and lost in thoughts. Maybe he was brainstorming?
Chanyeol almost sighed in relief when the youngest called for them in the late afternoon and they gathered around the table. Yes, Chanyeol was all for peace and harmony and the eternal bickering was wearing his patience down but awkward silence was even worse. Silence in general was something Chanyeol could barely stand and due to all the calls he couldn't put on some music or anything either. Just deafening, awkward silence with occasional rustling of paper and his voice talking into the room.

"So... I've been thinking." Jongin carefully said, avoiding both the glare of Kyungsoo and Chanyeol's attentive eyes.
"Now that's some news." Kyungsoo uttered perfectly audible and Chanyeol forced himself not to say anything in return as he rolled his eyes in annoyance. Where did he even take the energy to keep picking on Jongin for anything and everything?
Luckily, Jongin didn't seem fazed as he went on, his voice all hesitant and slow.
"And no matter what I'm gonna come up with... It's not going to work if none of us are willing to stray from our current position. What I'm trying to say is... we can't work it out without making some form of amends."
"So we could as well give up now or what?" Kyungsoo blankly added and Chanyeol couldn't resist firing back this time.
"You could stop trying to make this all even MORE difficult, that would be splendid."
Kyungsoo only huffed and averted his gaze, causing a surprising prick of guilt at the memory of the green note he had currently pinned to his wall at home.
He blinked the feeling away, ruffling his hair in frustration.
So confusing.
"There's no such thing as a shortcut anyway.", Jongin continued, completely ignoring the bickering, "So I think the best way of tackling the issue is to go about it in pairs. Because, obviously... if it's us three..."
"-we'll claw each others eyes out." Chanyeol completed the unspoken sentence and no one seemed inclined to disagree.
"So what are you suggesting? Couple-therapy sessions?" Kyungsoo dryly threw in and Jongin flinched a tiny bit, calling out to Chanyeol's sense of protection.
"I really think you need solo-therapy sessions first." he said without thinking and getting a quick but apprehensive glare with a flicker of something else.
Was it hurt? Why did he feel this prick of guilt again?
It was stupid. Kyungsoo was nothing but a jerk. If any, he needed the occasional jab or he'd get even more full of himself.
"I don't know, just something to bond..." Jongin mumbled, fiddling with his ball-pen.
"Shouldn't it be different for every combination? Maybe we should take turns. This way everyone can think of something he deems appropriate. I mean... I'm not the leader here, so..."
"But you have the best ideas!" Chanyeol blurted out even though he should have known better. After all, Jongin didn't like him. He had already felt it before but the second memo on his wall had definitely confirmed his suspicions and more.
As expected, the brunette didn't spare him a glance and looked at Kyungsoo instead.
"So who's gonna start?" he inquired, straight-forward as always.
Three drawn wads of paper later Chanyeol didn't know whether to feel lucky for being chosen or unlucky. For being chosen.

"Me?" he helplessly asked and while he thought both should be feeling relieved, they looked anything but calm.
"Well. Congratulations." Kyungsoo threw in, sounding not so dry this time.
"So who are you gonna choose?"
"Choose? Oh. Right. Choose." he uttered dumbfounded, his fingers drumming against the table under the expectant eyes.
"And I can just choose whatever activity, right?"
He was met with two very reluctant faces but also vague nods.
Chanyeol leaned back in his seat, thinking about it. Actually, there was something he'd like to do. So he looked back at them barely ten seconds later, firmly calling out his choice.
"Kyungsoo."
While Jongin didn't even try to conceal his relief(thank you very much, Chanyeol bitterly thought), Kyungsoo had a look of honest surprise written all over his face. Obviously he hadn't expected Chanyeol wanting to do anything with him.
"O-okay. Sure. What do you have in mind?" he retorted nonchalantly.
Was that a stutter? That was definitely something new.
Chanyeol shrugged, tossing the piece of paper that had so graciously elected him into a trash bin.
"I still gotta set it up. I'll text you the details. You're free on Friday?"
Another wary nod followed.

 

Actually he should have noticed it sooner, Chanyeol thought while his hands instinctively flew up to correct his hair once more with the wind messing it up again right away.
That even though Kyungsoo was so snarky and bitter about everything he rarely talked back to him. He would indeed snap back if Chanyeol started it, but he didn't take the initiative and go out of his way to criticize him.
The wind kept ruining his attire but overall he was glad for the mild spring weather. It was refreshing.
Confirming the time once more -it was almost two in the afternoon- he rounded the corner to find Kyungsoo already waiting at a stone pillar right next to the entrance of one of the capital's orphanages. He was huddled into a generously padded jacket, making him seem even smaller and oddly informal. He also carried a pretty stuffed-looking bag Chanyeol didn't dare questioning. Only then did it occur to him that he had never met Kyungsoo outside work and the awkwardness rushed back at once. Meeting someone you didn't particularly like was awkward, after all. The perpetual guilt over the words he had written on the note didn't help a tiny bit either.

"Hey." Chanyeol greeted him breathlessly and not commenting on him being late, Kyungsoo merely nodded with a curt 'Hey' on his own.
There was no malice in his voice and even though he was obviously just as uncomfortable as Chanyeol himself, he seemed rather... eager?
"Are we going in then?" he inquired with his eyes flitting to the entrance and Chanyeol only agreed dumbly, assuming that Kyungsoo wanted to escape any moment spent with him alone.
It wasn't the biggest orphanage in town. In fact, it was the most unknown one. Chanyeol didn't want this to become a publicity stunt, after all. He had merely intended to pay a visit with Kyungsoo to loosen him up a bit. Make him a little less scathing and cold. He'd figured that spending some time with the kids they were actually supposed to care about could accomplish this. Seeing him so eager surprised him quite a bit to be honest. He had imagined Kyungsoo to be the type to avoid kids at any given opportunity.
The duo hadn't lost a word to each other until they found themselves in front of one of the care-takers.
"Park Chanyeol?" the young man asked with a friendly smile, inviting them in easily.
"Then you must be Do Kyungsoo, am I right? I read the articles about your project. Looking forward to what you got in store for us!"
"And you are...?" Kyungsoo only asked skeptically(receiving a nudge from Chanyeol because rude), causing the man to laugh heartily with his head thrown back.
"Sorry man, I tend to forget the formalities. I'm Kim Jongdae, the main care-taker of this facility. If you have any questions, feel free to consult me."
They were led to the generous common room where a bunch of kids of all ages were lounging around, seated on the simple but cozy couch, around the table or spread on the carpet around an old-fashioned gaming console.
Not missing a beat Jongdae clapped his hands once, causing several heads to fly up(and  a few to glare at the sudden disturbance) and he spoke up cheerily.
"Guys, we have two visitors today! They'd love to spend some time with you so be nice, will you? You want to introduce yourselves?"
He threw them a look and Chanyeol suddenly felt nostalgia washing over him. Like old times, when he had transferred schools and was asked to introduce himself in front of an expectant class. He had done it a lot but the reminiscence alone filled him with something akin to nervousness. So he fell into the natural routine of smiling extra brightly as he searched the different faces.
"Hello everyone! I'm Park Chanyeol. I'm originally from the South but now I live here. I love gaming and music. Let's have lots of fun together!" he ended with a playful salute. Kyungsoo flashed him a look close to amusement at his speech that really did sound like an exact copy from his childhood times. Not waiting too long, he cleared his throat and introduced himself in a similar fashion though much more calm and reserved.
"Hi. I'm Do Kyungsoo. I don't think it matters where I come from as long as I'm here now. It'd be nice if we could hang out a bit. Also...", he continued, lifting the bag he had brought, "-I don't mean to buy your attention and you don't have to take any of it but... Here's some stuff you might like. Just a few books, CD's and games. It's all second-hand though."
Chanyeol blinked in shock. Was it an unwritten rule to bring a present? He didn't prepare anything. That certainly was the most embarrassing moment ever since... alright, ever since the CEO had caught them not too long ago. But still.
As if he had sensed his uncomfortableness, Kyungsoo calmly went on.
"They're a present from the both of us. Feel free to split it all between yourselves."
He was met with a few unsure glances, some more eager than others but soon a hand was lifted and a little girl -no older than seven at most- spoke up.
"What kind of books do you have Mister?"
And instead of the usual cold Kyungsoo he was met with yet another surprise as he smiled an inviting, heart-shaped smile.
"Why don't you come and find out yourself?" he offered, kneeling to the floor and emptying the bag's content onto the plush carpet. This seemingly broke the spell and more and more kids jumped up to pad closer, if only to satisfy their curiosity.
Soon Chanyeol sat on the floor with Kyungsoo, surrounded by noisy kids who reached for different items and bombarded them with questions about them while negotiating between each other who should receive what. And even though he had stated the items to be used ones Chanyeol felt that a few looked a bit too new to be secondhand. Not to mention Kyungsoo's lack of knowledge about most books.
"Can I keep this one? I already have the first one!" the tiny girl from before asked with her fingers tightly holding on to the second volume of Harry Potter.
"Of course you can." Chanyeol replied easily, his heart blooming at the way her face lit up. He really liked making people happy. Even though technically, this was Kyungsoo's doing. Said one seemed pretty fond of a rather bratty teenage boy who kept watching over the younger ones with hawk eyes, repeatedly complaining whenever they asked for something he deemed not appropriate for their age.
In a way he reminded him of Kyungsoo himself, Chanyeol thought.

After that, everything came easily to him and he spent the next two hours playing outside with the younger kids who had immediately clung onto him. They played catch and other games that were vaguely familiar though they had other names for them in the West.
Chanyeol had no idea what Kyungsoo was doing, but when they all returned inside at the call of Jongdae he found Kyungsoo in the common room, sitting at a table with a few kids playing some pen and paper game. It seemed to be a typical Kyungsoo-thing to do but the kids didn't seem bored at all which made Chanyeol happy for him. It really did seem like a good idea to introduce him to this.
After a bit of cleaning up(including Chanyeol who looked every bit as dirty as the kids he had chased around) he was prepared to launch into another game when Kyungsoo suddenly spoke up, asking the kids about their homework.
As expected he got a row of whiny no's he paid no heed.
"You really wanna do homework?" Chanyeol asked a little incredulously, feeling like one of the kids for a second. At least the look he got was suggesting this.
"You may think it's lame because it is, sort of. But think about it - we've already finished school and university. How often do you have nerds like us helping you? You should seize the opportunity. I bet we can finish them quickly together."
The kids still didn't seem all-too happy and Kyungsoo sighed quietly.
"Just until dinner. After that, we can continue playing. Alright?"
"So... You're super smart or something?" a boy asked with doubt clearly written all over his face. Chanyeol dismissed him with a chuckle.
"Just look at him. You bet he is." he reassured them with a look at the serious Kyungsoo.

"...You have NO clue, do you?!" Chanyeol exclaimed as he burst out in laughter.
"Well. I've never been good at Science!" Kyungsoo defensively gave back under the amused eyes of two ninth grader girls.
"Seriously?! You look like such a nerd! How can you be good at all this computer stuff?!"
Kyungsoo only looked a little miffed as he shrugged his shoulders.
"Well, computers usually do the math for you. I did study but I never said I was fond of it. But why are you even talking? You're horrible at any given language - I'm surprised you can talk in your own mother tongue without an accent!"
"Ah, nonsense! Languages come second in communication! You don't need grammar to express yourself!" Chanyeol retorted with a mock-pout on his face.
"Quit the talking and just explain how to solve this!" Kyungsoo instructed in a bossy way, tapping the sheets with neatly copied physics assignments.
"You mean including to you?" he laughed and Kyungsoo's ears turned a shade of red at the edges even though no denial followed and Chanyeol graciously let it go, lounging into a simple explanation - all the while keeping eye contact with his three students. And although Kyungsoo seemed more distracted than anything, even he was able to solve the problem in the end.

Dinner followed with Kyungsoo having a word with the women working in the kitchen and Chanyeol chatting with the kids. Only when it turned eight P.M and the younger kids had to go to bed did he feel a bit restless once more. Until then, mostly the young kids had clung to him and he wasn't sure where to start with the teenagers. To be perfectly honest, they didn't seem too keen on spending time with him. The looks on their faces reminded him of the ones Jongin had for him.
Lucky for him, Kyungsoo chose this moment to pull out a box, revealing a huge stack of cards.
"You know Bastra?" he asked and for some magical reason, he had most people's attention on him. A few kids nodded and so he went on.
"And Rummy?"
No one responded except for a few clueless looks that got exchanged.
Kyungsoo smiled.
"Good. I like Rummy more anyway. Want me to teach you?"

It turned out to be a good thing he brought so many card decks since very soon the table was crowded and including the two visitors 10 people participated, making every round pretty long. A few kids chose to watch and act as a consultant for others.
Chanyeol had stopped feeling guilty ever since Kyungsoo had kicked him out to buy snacks and was now happily playing along(though he kept losing miserably).
With every round taking its sweet time, Chanyeol had time to observe Kyungsoo. He was still rather quiet but gave off a comfortable and content aura as he kept guiding the ones new to the game patiently. It was funny how even in private Kyungsoo dressed entirely in black with black jeans and a loose dress shirt. Next to Chanyeol's rather worn-out hoodie and comfortable sneakers he still looked rather formal.
"You're such a pro at this!" one boy almost accusingly exclaimed at Kyungsoo who swiftly took advantage of his previous sloppy move.
"I always used to play it when I was a kid.", he replied with a tiny shrug, "-the older ones never showed mercy on me either. You'll get better at it."
Chanyeol perked up at this but one of the cheekier girls got the better of him.
"Either? Did you also play with with adults?"
"Hah, you call us adults?" he quietly asked with a self-depreciating laugh, making his next move before continuing.
"I didn't play with adults, I played with the other kids in the facility."
What...?
"You've lived in an orphanage as well??"
Chanyeol almost fell off his chair at the revelation. He did what?!
Kyungsoo dismissed it as if it was nothing.
"Well, you need something to pass the time, don't you? Playing rummy is actually quite practical since the number of participants is variable."
The kids went on and on, bombarding Kyungsoo with questions about his orphanage but Chanyeol kept his mouth shut for once, still processing everything. Kyungsoo had come from an orphanage himself. That explained the whole preparation and ease he was handling the situation with. Chanyeol wanted to faceplant into the desk.
He was such an idiot. Why hadn't he known about this?

 

It was actually half past ten when they exited into the cool evening air, their breaths leaving in faint white puffs.
"Woah, it got so late!" Chanyeol rambled, rubbing his hands together to create some warmth.
"Yeah..." Kyungsoo mumbled, sounding a bit tired.
Beneath the nonchalant tone, guilt was still gnawing at Chanyeol. He had been so ignorant, assuming that Kyungsoo didn't take their tasks seriously and ing for the sake of being a jerk. Now it was obvious that he had merely been the one to understand orphaned children better than any of them.
And even though Kyungsoo hadn't been hostile towards him, he had automatically assumed the worst. He felt awful and so he immediately stopped in his tracks as soon as they had rounded the first corner.
"Look..." he began, rubbing his neck sheepishly.
"I'm sorry."
The words had burst out before he had thought about what to say exactly and Kyungsoo's surprised owlish eyes blinked up at him, waiting for him to continue.
"I was being an idiot. Without knowing about your... background I assumed stuff and... that was wrong. You even jumped to my help in there more than once. What I wrote on that note..."
Kyungsoo's expression flickered a tiny bit but he remained quiet while Chanyeol kept fidgeting.
"-it wasn't right. I mean. I still think you're tending to be an insufferable jerk-"
At this he saw the lips of the shorter one twitch.
"-but the thing about our work... I take it back. Definitely. I was wrong on that."
He warily looked down at him, hoping to at least receive a second chance. Kyungsoo looked a bit taken aback and it took a while until he slowly uttered a few words, sounding astonished.
"You're so... honest. You're always so honest. Like you actually mean it."
"I do mean it!" Chanyeol quickly reassured him and Kyungsoo averted his eyes, burying his hands in the pockets of his huge jacket.
It looked like he came to a conclusion when he faintly nodded to himself and lifted his head with a careful, almost shy lopsided grin.
"Let's visit them again one day?"
He lowered his gaze before hesitantly flickering back to him.
"With... with Jongin."
Chanyeol was startled at the sudden mention of the third team member's name but he quickly got the underlying message. It was an offer of peace since Kyungsoo knew he preferred Jongin's presence over his'.
And surprisingly enough he found that he wouldn't mind returning with Kyungsoo only.
He still flashed him a smile.
"Yeah. We could do that."
And Chanyeol didn't know about Kyungsoo, but he himself quite liked the way 'we' sounded.
As if there was a 'we'.

 


That evening Kyungsoo returned home and took a pencil to add two delicate brackets to one of the two paper notes.

I think of you as someone who knows his stuff but has NO idea whatsoever
about people. You're inconsiderate and unneccessarily
aggressive, (just trying to bring everything down out of pure personal spite.)

 


 

...And there we have Chanyeol! Actually Chansoo are the easiest duo to get along with Chanyeol being open and honest about his mistakes.
You wanna know what Soo wrote about him? That'll have to wait for the next chapter~
And I'm still far-too excited about this story - sorry for spamming >_<

Love,
Sugar-and-Salt

P.S.: Yes, I'm passionate about Rummy! Bastra, or Pişti as I know it is a pretty simple but engaging card game as well. I used to play it with my Turkish grandmother as a kid c:

 

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Thank you!
Sugar-and-Salt
This story won at the AFF awards!! You're amazing ♥︎ - I'll think of something to show my love!

Comments

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chrysantslurvletters
#1
Chapter 30: All I can say is this story is very interesting and I love it! Even though I'm still don't understand how is it to be aual but yeah.. Thank you authornim!
Change17
#2
Chapter 30: YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM ABOUT THIS UPDATE OR WELL AN UPDATE OF THIS STORY IN GENERAL. I LOVE IT ♡ Srly I love it. ♡ Drunk nini is super cute ♡ I always miss one of them tho when there are only ttwo interacting x'D (I can totally understand why there are only 2 interacting sometimes tho)
thanks for the update ♡♡♡
Ps. Should I ask questions too so you get more ideas for this? X'D I love this story so much T^T
Nicole121314 #3
Chapter 30: Just express your feelings Jongin... there is nothing wrong with it
shorttermandawful #4
Chapter 29: thank you for this chapter, i'm sad its over but it really was fitting. i hope you feel up to extras someday, i would really like to see how their relationship plays out into the future.. dog dads, human dads.. either is good.

i really loved this fic, THANK YOU!
Change17
#5
Chapter 29: Tbh I am kinda sad that this story is over. I really love it and I think I will read it again. I mean the end was fitting... But I think I was just not ready to stop with this idek D:
But thank you for this ♡♡♡ The story is gold and the end is just perfect for it ♡
Nicole121314 #6
Chapter 29: Great chapter. Thank you so much dear
Lariat95
#7
Chapter 29: This is beautiful, I love the way the story flows and even more so the deep way in which you tell it. I do have a question about the loft, is Chanyeol suggesting that Jongin and Kyungsoo move in together to the apartment? Did I miss something?

Hugs and kisses to you, thank you so much for this ♡
teendiva
#8
Chapter 29: i was so excited when i saw the update
it was worth the wait
its really good
hope you write more
Change17
#9
Chapter 28: I LOVE THIS STORY SO SO SO SO SO SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOOO MUCH!!! really.
The pace of the process is perfect. I love their characters and how they work everything out and how we get and they get to know more about each other with every chapter. I love every of their individual characteristics and how you are always able to keep them true to themselfs and think of every characteristics when they interact.
I am so curious about so many things! Will they ever tell yeol about what they did for him before all this? Are baek and yeol in contact again? i am always curious to know more about the back round of the characters, their family and friend BUT the most important thing I am dead curious about is how their relationship will develop! *-* and WOW this was such a (way more than) pleasant surprise! I love their dynamic in bed and I am also keen to read more about that ♡.♡
In short: I just love this story and I am so thankful that you write and share it because I love ot3 stories and slowburn and just EVERYTHING about this!!!! (Like really Idk one thing I don't love about this o.o) thank you!!!!!☆♡☆
I am more than excited for more (but of course take your time your job sounds very time-consuming :o) ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Lariat95
#10
Chapter 28: Yes a very early update, I couldn't believe it when I saw it!
Awwww, that was cute (and y) and a very smart way to go around Kai's condition, I'm very curious to see more of this dynamic, and the back kissing, I died imagining the feel of it, so calming.
Chanyeol's mother tho, drama is a-coming
Hugs and kisses, love you!