*Hello! I'm finally back, and here's a sequel of chapter 13, so it's btter to read that first before this one. I am really sorry for not updating for such a long time, but I hope this will make up for today, and for having free time, I'll try to update as frequent as possible, though I can't really promise that it would be everyday.

*Enjoy the nap moments!

N.A.P.

“I’ll miss this. I’ll miss us.”

He felt his strong gaze boring holes into him, though all it did was touch his heart that’s silently crying, for knowing that no matter how pure their love is, how real the emotion is, reality would always forbid them to show the world how sincere what they share between them.

Slowly, he removed the warm arms wrapped around his waist and moved the shower curtain away to reach out for a clean towel. He wasn’t sure if the droplets of water streaking his cheeks were from the long bathe or from the pain of bearing a secret for so long now.

Niel knows that it’s totally wrong, but the fact that he’s willing to hide it and still act normal around his sister, like he wasn’t kissing her husband minutes ago, make him felt guiltier and it kills him that he’s not regretting any stolen hours him and Minsoo spent together. For now though, they need to return to normal, those days before they thrown their selves in this affair. Today’s the last time they would be able to say how much they care for each other since Niel’s parents decided to take him under their custody, and that means starting tomorrow, the younger would be living in a foreign country that the older guy had no idea of because the other denies telling him any clue of the place.

Their love is real, but Niel’s smart enough to know that there’s no future for them. On the other hand, he knows that even though he’s still young enough to explore more of the world and meet new people, hundreds of them, his heart would still be engraved with one name.

“Niel… listen to me. Niel!”

He flinched from the sudden rise on his lover’s voice, something that didn’t happen before. Yet he kept his ground and moved towards the door since he’s in a hurry for not being able to finish packing all of his things yet.

Though he knows there is one thing he would never be able to bring with him.

The day passed without them talking at all. And to her sister’s eyes, their aloofness towards each other was out of his dear sibling hiding this from him, since every single time they’re together, Luna could see a tight knit between brothers. If only she knows better, that their laughter was out of sweet words exchanged and the tired looks was out of lust taking over and not of their works outside and within the warmth of their home.

Until the end, Niel would never want to let her discover this mistake, despite of Minsoo considering about it for the past weeks.

They slept with a heavy heart, no goodbyes exchanged, and by the morning, taking Niel to the airport seems nothing more than taking him to school.

---

His heart skipped a beat when he was called by his boss and was told to pack up a week’s worth of clothes for a series of business meetings in Japan, taking into consideration that maybe, just maybe, it’s the place where his parents decided to live in.

Though he doesn’t want to raise his hopes up and be disappointed more.

It has been five months since Niel left and Luna  could feel some changes ever since. Of how his husbands smiles became less bright, of how his touches became less warm, and of how his hugs became less tight. It’s as if ever since his brother left, he had taken with him a part of his husband as well. And she knows there’s no basis but she can’t help but feel a little jealous, and a little disappointed with herself for thinking wrongly of them.

If only she knows that she’s more than right.

“Take care okay? I don’t want to see my dear husband sick as soon as he arrives home.”

“You can trust me with that; I don’t want to see myself sick as well.”

Giving him the last hug for now, she tried planting a kiss to his lips yet he beat her into it by placing a gentle kiss on her cheek instead. For now, she finds it enough that he’s not pushing her away yet. She fears that it could happen anytime, and now that they would be away from each other for quite some time, she’s more afraid to let him out of her sight, so many questions and doubts in her mind.

“You’d return home, right?”

“Of course, I would.”

Seeing him with his back turned while saying this just made the woman feel more unsure of what’s happening between them, of where did the sweetness go and what drained it.

But Minsoo’s already out and in a hurry to travel forward.

--

“Hey, you look a little more excited for someone who’ll be away from home for a week or more, perhaps, oh, you’ve been busier than usual with your wife, is that it?”

His officemate who’s assigned to be his partner for the said project, Chanhee, asked while moving his brows up and down as if thinking of something naughty like he usually does. If his personal stash of numbers he had collected from the hundred of girls he had dated for fun is not enough to show how much of a player he is.

“Whatever, let’s just get this done. And then, you could tease me all you want, but first, let’s hurry or we’ll miss our flight.”

He would be lying if he denies that little tinge of hope that has settled deep in his mind after hearing her wife talk with someone in japanese while she thought that he’s still asleep. If that was the only clue he’s got hold of, he’ll be willing to use it to the most that he can. Though he knows how wide Japan is and how short a week is to search for Niel.

“By the way, bro, since we got free time today as soon as we arrive in Tokyo, you don’t mind if-”

“If you go out and chase girls in whatever bar you’re thinking of right now? Oh no, I don’t mind at all. At least I’ll be free from your loud voice for a while.”

“Wow, you’re such a nice friend, you know that? And by the way, just now, I’m lying.”

He couldn’t help but just shake his head as he heard a loud snort from Chanhee  who’s decided to walk faster and leave the other far behind. He doesn’t mind being distracted by his friend’s noise though since every time his attention was all to himself and to this project, his mind wanders to images of Niel when they were alone at home and just enjoying each other’s company.

He didn’t expect to fall this hard for a fellow guy though. He had even tried if he’s be attracted to other boys as well but no, he was normal as he was around his wife and friends when he’s in front of those men, most of his age. By the time he realized how he felt differently towards the younger man, Niel was already teased by his sister and friends about a certain girl rumored to be the one he’s dating.

That’s when the trail of mistakes started abruptly.

“Do you like her?”

“Ummm, hyung? Stop teasing me, I’ve had enough from my sister already so-”

“Just answer me, please.”

He didn’t mean to do it, but when he’s around Niel, he just loses his self. If with his wife he felt secured, the younger man made him felt free. Like he could be anyone he wants to be and not be ashamed of his mistakes and flaws. With his wife, he tends to control his self and be the best image of Minsoo he could muster. He loves the change.

“Hyung, wh-what are you doing?”

He found himself sniffing the younger’s hair, his arms wrapped around the petite physique, not too tight though that it would suffocate the other. Every contact seemed to burn him, not the same feeling of calmness that he finds when he hugs his wife. He has stepped into a totally unfamiliar and strange territory but he realized that no matter how high the risk is, he’s willing to keep on moving.

“Could we just stay like this for a while? It’s just that… I… adore you so much… more than you can think of… and I can’t bear to see you with anyone else…. but me. ”

“But…. But noona will-”

“I’m sorry Niel but I’m not letting you go.”

Then he realized that he couldn’t imagine if instead of returning those gentle touches, Niel had pushed him away and told him how he hated him for being such a disgusting cheating husband.

And he’s willing to run after him again and again if that’s what it takes to win him over for the second time.

“Minsoo! You’re zoning up again. Hurry up or we’ll really miss the plane.”

Following after the now grinning Chanhee who’s having a little longer than usual chat with the terminal staff he had approached, he can’t help but think of hundreds of possible ways to see the young man again.

--

“How did-?”

“I guess, I should say hi first before you start getting angry and throw hateful words at me. Hi?”

“What are you doing here?”

“It just so happened that I’m assigned for a project here and you happened to be here so, that’s why we’re together now.”

“Hyung, I agreed to move away so that you’ll realize that it’s my noona you’re really in love with and what’s with us are purely brought by nothing but curiosity and excitement of doing-”

“Stop, Niel, you know that’s not true.”

“You’re right, maybe that’s why I hate being around you again, or I’ll do the same mistake of cheating behind my sister’s back who did nothing but trust me and treat me with indifference. But then, you show up all of a sudden and tell me that.”

It was a simple café, one place that he remembered Niel told of when he asked what are the places he had always wanted to visit. He didn’t expect to really see the young man there while sipping his choco oreo.

It was all out of luck and he’s thanking fate for leading him there. That despite of the anger imminent on the innocent-looking face, the sense of missing him was there, and that’s all that matters.

“I think, we should talk about this in some other place than here, what do you think?”

“Do I even have a choice?”

“Looking angry but your eyes tell otherwise. You’ve missed me, don’t you?”

“Don’t think so highly of yourself Bang Minsoo.”

“That’s hyung to you.”

“After all that you’ve done you really expect me to call you hyung now? Just wow.”

“But I’ve missed you. A lot.”

This time, they are not looking straight into each other’s eyes, nor holding hands, yet they can feel the warmth between them. That certain connection that would never be blurred even by distance.

Maybe that’s why it is harder to let go. All because of the reason that they really can’t.

--

By now, Minsoo was more than thankful that his co-worker decided to hop off towards somewhere he doesn’t want to know than laze around their shared hotel room for he doesn’t want him to have any idea of what he’s about to do.

They have been away for only five months but it felt like years for him, and he’ll do anything to make up for those lost times. And he’s thankful that seeing how the other responds to his kiss, he’s not the only one thinking of that idea.

“I really… honestly… seriously… missed you.”

“Me too… thank you for finding me… though this is only for a week… I-”

“Ssh, what’s important now is that we’re together. If you’re planning on saying goodbye now, I am not allowing you.”

“But my sister… she’s… I could never see her heartbroken…”

And as he speaks of this, he stopped returning the kiss and stood up, straightened his self and start going towards the door when he felt strong arms pull him and made him look back, kissing him again with much love that he couldn’t help but melt to the touch, lips molding together without planning of letting go for now.

That they didn’t even realized that the door towards the room was opened and eyes are now brimmed with tears while watching them make out in front of her, like they were the only persons in the world and others are just extras in this huge stage.

Hearing the sobbing sounds, Niel took a glance at who caught them and froze in the spot seeing her sister already crying out loud now and eyes fixated on them.

“Noona… I’m sorry noona! Let me explain please!”

Niel tried reaching out but he ended up sprawled on the floor, clutching his stinging cheek after a resonating slap from her own family. That person he would never want to see in pain like this very hour, but now, he failed to protect her from her own brother.

“All this time I am mentally scolding myself for thinking bad about you but at the end I’m actually right and I hate it more that I’m right! Of all the persons I could think of that would hurt me, you were never there Niel! And you Minsoo! I did everything to suffice for your needs but the reason why I felt like I was never enough these past days were actually because you were screwing my brother?! My own husband and brother doing this behind my back and you’re treating me as if you’re not doing anything at all?! How long were you cheating on me, tell me!”

“About three months after we got married, I went out with Niel. Yes, I cheated on you, with your own brother, but if you want to blame someone for the pain you’re feeling right now, if you want to hurt someone as badly as that pain right now, go on and throw it all on me, but please don’t hurt your own brother.”

“I even went out of my way to go here and make things better between us, to save what’s left with this marriage and this is what welcomed me here?! You two eating up each other’s faces!? And you expect me to simply pour all my anger on you alone?!”

“I’m the one to be blamed here anyways, since I pulled Niel towards this, and though he wanted to end it already and he even went away to stop what’s between us yet here I am, still running after him. And believe it or not, I did care for you, but… your brother… I just couldn’t let go of him. I could never live without him.”

“So what’s with that vow? Did you even really love me for real? Or you just did that to get into my brother’s pants and you’re actually planning on dumping me soon?!”

“Luna… I… I did love you. But what I felt for Niel all those time was real and so strong that I couldn’t bear to live a life without him.”

“And so it’s fine that I end up the one hurt and alone?! Thank you for doing this, and do all that you want right now or in the future, but don’t expect me or any from my family to accept the two of you anymore!”

It was a sight when Niel stood up, ran after her and hugged one of her legs tight, kneeling and crying like there’s no tomorrow. And Minsoo felt heartbroken seeing him this way, but he knows not to pull him away when it’s about his sister. His only sibling.

“Noona…. Please don’t go yet… let me explain… I really-”

“I heard more than enough Niel. So stand up and go to him before-”

“Please, please, please noona, I really am sorry, for hurting you, for doing all those things but I couldn’t bear the idea of you hating me! So please…”

The next words were a blur to her after seeing her little brother all messed up and crying his heart’s contents, and it piqued her sisterly side that she pulled him upward and gave her a tight hug before letting go and glaring at her husband’s way  before holding Niel’s chin, making him look straight into her eyes.

“After everything that happened, we couldn’t erase the fact that we would always be siblings, connected in every way, but I’m sorry as well, that for now, I could never look at you and treat you the same way as before. I am hurt not only because my husband cheated on me, but more because my brother lied to me, and I’m the only one out in the dark here, and I hate it as well ‘cause I know I couldn’t hate you more than I think I want. And I don’t want you to end up played this way like me, ‘cause if that guy behind you could really love for real, he wouldn’t have a change of heart that quick. And I am afraid, that if he could do that easily to me, he might as well do it easily with you in the future. So please take care of yourself, I know you’re a lot smarter than how the people see you.”

Seeing her walk away without looking back again, Niel slumped again on the hallway and hugged his self, bothered by his loss, bothered by what the future might give someone like him.

Hearing the light footsteps going towards him, he pushed himself to stand up again and looked at Minsoo, mind still full of worries and fears. His sister was right after all, and he doesn’t want to end up like that, but he couldn’t push his self to deny how much he loves the man who cut the string between him and her sister.

“Niel I-”

“Stop. Please hyung, just let me go now, and maybe, everything would return to normal after this. I would go to school and graduate, meet new people, be in a normal relationship, and you should return to my sister. In that way we-”

“Niel! Why are you telling these words now? I chose you, and I will always choose you no matter what!”

“But you yourself promised so much to her right? But you easily broke those and came to me. What if in the future you find someone who’s much, much more enough to make you forget about me as well? As early as now, we should end this while we’re both sane.”

Taking the same way towards the exit, Niel expected for the same hands to pull him, the same voice to ask him to stay, and he had already planned how would he reject it all over again, but what he didn’t expect were the next words that made him stay still.

“I’ll prove it to you then, I’ll wait until you graduate, and I’ll accept whatever your family would want me to do, then I’ll court you again. And no matter how much you want me out of your life, I am not allowing you to disappear from my sight again.”

Though he didn’t look back, he was happy to hear those words, and he’ll hold on to it.

If only the man he loves could keep up to this promise as well.

And that man wishes that the boy he loves would trust him back again.

*Seriously, thank you for those who have subscribed and upvoted this story, and I adore teen top as well so I'll really try to update frequently. Let's keep  on supporting them, ok?

*To those who are angel and a carat at the same time, feel free to read In-versed, it's a chaptered fic of mine starring the adorable seventeen. Thanks! Sorry for the little advertisement here. (-_-)v

*Take care dear readers!

#nap.lives.on