☆5☆ Flashback: Promise to Make
Promise to a Star
★ October 5, 2012 ★
I am discussing about the possibility to work as lyricist with Hyunseung when Seuji storms in my room before even knocking the door.
"Jaesoon, let's go to-" she stops when she sees Hyunseung and I are talking with papers scattered on the table. "Ah, I'm sorry, I don't know you have a guest."
"Good morning, Seuji," Hyunseung greets her. "It's alright. We're just talking about random stuff, right, Jaesoon?"
"Kind of," I quickly gather all the paper altogether because I don't want anyone to find out about my secret dream before the right time.
After I officially graduated around three months ago, I've been considering about working as lyricist with Hyunseung's help because he is working in music industry.
"I'll go outside then," Hyunseung grins to me, knowing that Seuji probably wants to talk about something private. "I want to call a client."
"Shouldn't you be preparing for tomorrow, Seuji?" I ask her after Hyunseung closed the door. "Do you need any help?"
"Let's go to an amusement park today!" she states with excitement. "Let's go together. Three of us."
"What?" I turn to look at her face, thinking that maybe she is only joking around. "Today?"
"Yes, today," she repeats. "We never went to an amusement park before, right? Please, Jaesoon. It's my wish before I get married."
Yes, Seuji will be married to Junhyung tomorrow. Everything has been planned precisely since around one year ago. Junhyung has been working as a writer for health magazine under the pen name of "J" with the help from our father.
Seuji has graduated from college on the same year with me even though she is one year younger than me. She said that she will find a job as soon as possible after they get married even though my mother has assured her that she doesn't need to rush.
Within these years, I've been holding back all my feelings towards her, reminding myself about the promise I made on the night Junhyung proposed her. Seuji and Junhyung probably know nothing about my secret feeling.
I can't even count anymore how many times I've tried to hold back my tears, how many pieces my heart has broken into, how many times I tortured myself by letting myself together with them. I even agreed to be Junhyung's best man tomorrow since he has no other man to be asked for.
For some people, it must be really ridiculous to keep such a silly promise. Loving a person who doesn't love you back is the most foolish thing in the world, isn't it?
"Please, Jaesoon," Seuji clasps her hands together. "Just for today. Let's have fun together. It's been a while since three of us went somewhere together, right?"
She is right. After we celebrated our 20th birthday, sometimes Seuji went on dates with Junhyung. I remember he was mistaken as me one day by my friend but he played along, acting as if he was me and my friend believed him.
"Fine," I sigh. "Let's go after lunch. I'll drive, okay?"
"Uah! Thank you, Jaesoon! You are the best friend in the world!" she hugs me tight. She releases me and grins, "I'll tell Junhyung now. I promise I'll make your favorite food today!"
She storms out from my bedroom, leaving me to stand in silence because of what she just did. Will she ever know how my heart always races because of her?
"Going out with them?" Hyunseung asks, taking a peek from outside. "I need to meet a client too. We'll talk again later then."
"Sure," I answer quickly. "You'll come tomorrow, right?"
"Do I have a reason not to come?" Hyunseung laughs. "I know I'm not really close with Junhyung but you are my best friend, Jaesoon ah."
I smile sheepishly and bid him goodbye. I walk downstairs to meet my mother. She is talking to her friend on phone, telling her about the wedding party tomorrow.
It hurts me somehow that it looks like my mother loves Junhyung more but I think the reason is obvious enough; Junhyung does need extra attention compared to me, doesn't he?
After she finishes the phone call, we talk about the schedule for tomorrow. Seuji then calls us for lunch so we postpone the talk and enjoy the lunch together.
"You know you can't take extreme ride," my mother reminds Junhyung before he steps in my car. "Jaesoon, drives carefully, will you? Seuji, please remind Junhyung to-"
"I got it, I got it," Junhyung assures our mother with a big grin. "I'm not a little kid anymore. Don't worry. I have Seuji and Jaesoon with me."
How can I dislike him? Even though the girl I love is his fiancee, Junhyung is a really good twin brother for me. How can I not support him?
I drive to the amusement park, talking about random stuff during our way. As soon as we arrive, Seuji immediately looks at the map to find the most interesting attraction to ride.
"Ah, roller coaster, let's-" she turns to ask us but she stops suddenly with her eyes fix on Junhyung. "I'm sorry, Junhyung Oppa. You can't ride it, right?"
"It's alright," Junhyung pats her head gently. "You can take the ride with Jaesoon. Do you want to play this attraction, Jaesoon ah?"
I tuck my hands inside my pockets, looking at Seuji. Of course Junhyung can't ride this kind of ride with his condition but I know Seuji wants to try the roller coaster.
"Sure," I rub the back of my neck. "Wait for us here, Junhyung."
Junhyung waves to us, telling us to have fun before we stand in the line to wait for our turn. I can't help myself to smile because of her cheerful grin as we watch people on the roller coaster screaming with joy.
After enjoying the roller coaster, Seuji tries to pick other attractions to play with Junhyung.
She picks the ferris wheel as the last attraction to ride for today. The sun almost sets down, making the sky to turn into orange color.
"The sky is beautiful," Junhyung admires the sun. I turn to see the sun and I must agree that it's indeed beautiful.
"Oppa, you really need to learn more about stars. They are beautifull too!" Seuji teases him. "Sun is the brightest star, you know."
"Yah, I'm just not good about astronomy, okay?" Junhyung ruffles her hair. "Let's take a picture together in front of the ferris wheel."
"Here," I take out my phone. "I'll take the picture of you two."
"Let's ask the staff," Seuji gives an idea. "Three of us need to be in the picture."
"We'll take that later. Come on," I position the phone so I can have them in a frame. I ignore the fact that my heart is aching really bad now. "One, two, three."
Click.
"Go," I say to them. "I'll wait for you two here. I want to buy something to drink. Have fun."
"Are you sure?" Seuji tilts her head. "They said the scene from the top of the ferris wheel is beautiful."
"Just enjoy the ride," I force a fake smile but I'm lucky they believe my smile so they walk to take the ride of the ferris wheel.
I look at the sun while the ferris wheel starts to move.
"The brightest star in the galaxy," I murmur to myself. "Should I make a promise to you?"
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