Warning: mention of a little... gore... I apologize in advance.

I didn't die.

I only ended the pain.

What pain?

Everything.

Was it worth it?

I don’t know.

 It’s still here.

Sehun is still here.

And I still want him here.

Yet I still can’t reach him.

Is this pain really endless?

I still want him.

I want my hyung.

He’s only mine.

No one else can have him.

No one else can touch him.

No one else can hurt him.

He can’t think of anybody else but me.

I’m in him.

I’m still alive in him.

That’s why, I can’t die.

I’m not dead.

It doesn’t matter if it still pains me.

As long as I have him.

As long as I am in his mind, heart and soul.

I never want to die.

Baekhyun gazed down at the very familiar ground in one of the most restricted area of the large forest nearby the neighborhood where his twin lives. The ground where the dead bodies were buried almost a week ago. Funny, he thought. He could see through the ground the ugly faces of battered and horrified lifeless bodies. He wasn’t even endeavoring for something as comical as cutting their heads off or tongue or ripping the heart out. All he had to do was manipulate the one with the darkest heart and nothing more than that. In fact, he just watched as his twin brother’s aggressors were tortured in the hands of their own comrade.

Fixing his gaze on the ground, Baekhyun appeared to be dejected when actually deep inside the devil is laughing ludicrously at the thought of the dead dying without anyone’s knowing. Meanwhile, a little girl in a school uniform stood next to him, cradling her white board against her chest.

Hani grinned as she looked up to her new friend, but her smile faded away the moment she noticed the sadness marked on Baekhyun’s face. She pulled out her marker in a haste and wrote on her white board. Once she finished, she tried to catch the ghostly latter’s attention by jumping in front of him.

Slowly, he shifted his gaze from the ground to Hani then to her whiteboard.

It said:

‘Don’t be sad.’

Upon noticing that Baekhyun’s expression wasn’t changing, Hani felt like crying as if she could feel the pain Baekhyun was trying to hide. She started writing on her white board again whilst wiping the tears that continued flowing down her cheeks. Baekhyun waited for a few minutes before Hani finally showed him what she jotted down in small letters.

‘Please don’t be sad. I will always be your friend and you will never be alone no matter what happens. You can come to me whenever you want. I will always be here for you.’

Waiting for the latter’s response, Hani bit her lower lip hopelessly. Oh, how she wished she could speak. How she wished Baekhyun could speak to her too so she could hear his voice.

But this was reality.

The fact that they are almost one and the same, and that’s what brought them together. Because she’s mute and he couldn’t find his voice (or so she thought). Because she had always been alone like him.

They had always been invisible. They blind themselves to reality and found each other in the darkness of their hearts. Hani was certain since then that she finally someone she’s never going to be afraid of.

A friend.

Feeling down, a solitary tear suddenly slipped down the ghostly male’s numb cheeks. He may not have felt it against his skin, but having the little girl witness it made him smile a little bit.

Hani wrote on her whiteboard again:

‘I wish I’m tall enough to wipe your tears.’

She wished.

Baekhyun smiled before gesturing her to follow him as he leads them back home. Grinning from ear to ear, Hani strode behind him gleefully, vainly attempting to touch him by stretching out one of her arms. She had been doing it lately, hoping that one day she will be able to touch him as long as she tries harder.

Baekhyun didn’t mind. Someday she’s gonna find out anyway. Someday she’s gonna hate him. Someday she’s gonna realize that he’s not as good as she thinks he is. Then she’s gonna leave him. Someday.

Baekhyun just had to wait for the right time. He’ll let her follow him wherever he goes. He’ll let her see what he sees. He’ll let her feel what he feels. He’ll let her do whatever she wants or think whatever she wants. He’ll let her choose and decide what’s better for her.

“Oh Sehun!” Frustrated at the latter for dragging him out forcefully, Luhan finally shouted and caught Sehun’s attention. He couldn’t believe Sehun just dragged him out of there and left Kai alone. What if something bad happens to Kai? Or what if he gets into trouble? Luhan swallowed worriedly and said, “I need to go back. I told you to call Mr. Zhang or Ms. Oh. Why didn’t you just listen to me?” When Sehun’s grip on him loosened and the latter’s mouth opened as if he was gonna say something, Luhan didn’t waste the chance and he spun around in an attempt of going back to class.

“They’ll be there. I saw someone run outside calling out the teachers. So, don’t worry.” Sehun said behind, stopping Luhan from his tracks. “I’m sorry, but I can’t stand watching you there.” Without hesitation, the taller man grabbed the smaller boy’s wrist and pulled him gently inside the infirmary. Luhan didn’t stir, instead he let the taller boy take him freely.

Upon entering the infirmary, Sehun dragged the smaller boy and gently pushed him onto the bed. Luhan watched the latter walking around in panic, as if he was searching for something. He couldn’t help but be flabbergasted by him. Sehun looked so different. It was amazing how he changed from just a classmate who doesn’t give a damn to a fretting classmate in just a matter of minutes. How could they accuse someone like him? Luhan could feel it. Sehun is not a bad person. 

Luhan clutched his chest before swallowing down his own spit. “You’re not lying right?” He asked for assurance but Sehun ignored him as the latter was too busy looking for the first aid kit. “Kai is going to be okay, right?” Another question popped out of the smaller boy’s mouth.

“Look, I don’t know who Kai is,” Sehun admitted with the first aid kit now on his arm. “But I can't assure you that anyone's going to be okay.” He said before placing the first aid kit on the bedside table.

“Are you…alright?” Luhan asked, looking through Sehun’s eyes.

For a long time, the two only stared at each other. Maybe for a few seconds, or minutes. Either of them couldn’t speak. Sehun couldn’t find the right words to say.

“Sehun? Are you alright?” Luhan asked again as he was about to touch the taller man’s flushed face. Sehun didn’t let him though, he seized the smaller boy’s hand before he could even touch him.

“Are you?” Sehun asked insolently.

“How old are you?” Luhan asked, twitching his eyes at the latter.

“What?” Sehun muttered, his grip on the smaller boy’s hand tightened as another second passed.

“I don’t like your tone in talking to me in a very very disrespectful way.” Luhan replied, mimicking Sehun’s impudent tone earlier. “I must believe you are older than me if you talk like that.”

Sehun chuckled, finding it ridiculous for the latter to mention respect. “I’m 19.”

“Oh,” was all the smaller boy could say, feeling embarrassed.

“Why? How old are you?”

Luhan tried not to blush but it was rather too late as he could already feel so red and hot.  “I’m only younger than you for a year.” He mumbled, avoiding the taller man’s penetrating gaze. “But I’m the class president, and you’re not allowed to ask me when I’m asking you because that’s rude-“Sehun cut in with his forefinger on the smaller boy’s tiny lips.  

“Class president,” the taller man said in a subdued tone. “Tell me why did you do that? Why did you try to defend me from them?” Sehun blurted out hesitantly as he stared hopelessly at the smaller boy who fell silent at his question. “Never mind,” he said before rubbing the scrape on the latter’s forehead. With a Neosporin on Sehun’s hand, he gently applied the ointment on the scrape, causing the smaller boy to wince in pain. “Just put ice when you get home,” Sehun suggested before placing the band aid above the wound.

“I don’t like bullying anyone,” Luhan croaked as he lowered his head and placed his palms on his lap. Sehun looked at him in awe, waiting for more of his answer as his heart began to pound against his chest. “Whatever happened between you and Eunjoo, I know you have nothing to do with her com