Kyungsoo doesn't really know where he's driving-- only that it's away from Jongin. He feels like a madman, his heart pounding and his palms sweaty, as if he's escaping a crime scene. He doesn't know why he ran, but when he realized that he'd let Jongin kiss him that much, he couldn't sit still. Kyungsoo had felt fear shoot through his veins and he knew he had to leave that house as soon as possible. 

Now that he was on the road, though, he was finding it hard to focus on actually driving. He'd be doing okay, and then there'd be a flash of Jongin in his mind-- his bright smile, the way his lips feel moving against his own-- and he'd have to correct his steering because he's drifting into the other lane. He doesn't remember driving ever being this hard, and it's scaring him how little control he has at the moment. 

It's almost perfect timing, really. Chanyeol calls him five minutes into his failed driving attempt. Kyungsoo wouldn't call himself a religious person, but hearing Chanyeol's annoyingly calming voice over the phone was like godsend. 

"Do you want to come over and help me?" Chanyeol asks. Kyungsoo smiles to himself and nods before realizing the taller can't see him. 

"Yes. I really need to talk to you." Kyungsoo confesses as another image of Jongin (this time dancing) invades his mind. 

"Oh. That was weird, normally you'd be all 'Help you with what?!'" Chanyeol clears his throat, "Are you okay?" 

"I don't know." Kyungsoo answers honestly. He feels a little lost. 

"Okay, come over. I don't know what's up, but it's probably something big. I'll unlock the door for you, okay?" 

"I'll be over in ten minutes." 

Kyungsoo focuses all his energy on not crashing his car on the way to Chanyeol's apartment complex. Kyungsoo had been there countless times to visit his friend, but it seemed like the first time he was going there needing help. He's given Chanyeol advice for years, but kept all his problems to himself. Lord knows he couldn't go and talk about anything with his father that wasn't business related, and his mother hadn't been an option for a very, very long time. 

Thinking of his mother made his insides ache from missing. But for the first time, he sees it from his father's eyes, thinking of what would happen were Jongin to die too early in life. He doesn't know what he'd do. Thinking of Jongin's name brings him back to the look of pure shock Jongin had given him after he'd pushed him. It made his heart hurt to think about just leaving Jongin sitting on the floor.

He practically stumbles into Chanyeol's apartment, which was left open for him, as promised. 

"Kyungsoo, are you drunk?" 

"No." He replies gruffly, taking a seat on the couch. He relaxes, feeling a little sick. 

"What's wrong?" Chanyeol asks softly. Kyungsoo can see the real concern in his eyes and feels a little bit better. 

"Jongin kissed me." 

". . .And that's bad how?" 

Kyungsoo stares at him, affronted. How could he not see all the bad things that were bound to happen? There was this stupid kid making him feel weird, and he knows if he lets Jongin kiss him, something will go awry. 

"I haven't been able to look him in the eyes for weeks!" Kyungsoo groans, closing his eyes. "I don't know what's going on. Everything hurts." 

"Physically?" 

"No! Kissing Jongin makes my heart hurt, but leaving him alone makes my whole body hurt. . . I need to take a nap, that's it." Kyungsoo reasons, moving to lay down on the couch. 

"Could it be that you feel guilty for leaving him after kissing him?" Chanyeol suggests. Kyungsoo shoots up, looking at Chanyeol with wide eyes. 

"Guilt! That's it!" Kyungsoo smiles, though the heaviness weighing him down doesn't go away. "I must just be guilty." 

"Well, that's not all of it. Why would you be feeling guilty if you don't like him?" 

"Like him?" Kyungsoo shakes his head in disbelief. 

"Let's review the facts. You can't look him in the eyes, why?" Chanyeol eyebrows raise knowingly. 

Kyungsoo glares at the taller, not liking where this is going. 

"He kissed you. You let him, right?" 

Kyungsoo sinks further into the couch cushion, horror sweeping across his features. 

"You got freaked out after kissing him and ran away. And now you feel terrible and guilty." 

Kyungsoo feels a little more sick with each word. 

"That's wrong. He's my fake husband. This isn't real. I shouldn't forget that it's not real." Kyungsoo reasons, mostly with himself.

"Kyungsoo, why does it matter?" Chanyeol asks skeptically. 

"Because it's fake. He's not real. He wouldn't be nice to me if his parents didn't tell him to. Pretty soon the companies will be okay, and he'll leave." 

"Kyungsoo, you can't think like that. He kissed you fir-" 

Midway through Chanyeol's sentence, a loud scream bounces off the walls. Kyungsoo is immediately terrified, as he thought they were alone in Chanyeol's apartment. Before Kyungsoo can ask what just happened, a shirtless Baekhyun runs through the door of Chanyeol's bedroom. He sprints towards the tallest boy, knees hiking up high as he seemingly tries to avoid touching the floor. 

Chanyeol watches in slight embarrassment as Baekhyun scrambles to sit on his lap, all the while shrieking, "Spider! There's a ing spider next to the nightstand!" 

Kyungsoo observes the calm way in which Chanyeol rolls his eyes and sets Baekhyun off of his lap, heading towards the nearest door to kill said spider. It's silent for a second until both boys in the living room hear the distinctive thump of Chanyeol killing the spider. He turns to look at Baekhyun again when the latter lets out a dramatic sigh of relief. He guesses that Baekhyun is always this loud, no matter what setting he was in. 

Sensing eyes on him, Baekhyun turns to meet his boss' eyes. He screams once more, hands reaching out to cover himself. 

"I'm sorry, sir! Oh my god, sorry!" Baekhyun scrambles off the couch and bows a perfect ninety degrees. Kyungsoo watches, stunned, and finds himself laughing at the sight in front of him before he can stop himself. 

"You don't have to call me sir, Baekhyun." Kyungsoo points out.

Baekhyun blushes deep red before turning to face Chanyeol as he walks back into the living room. Chanyeol gives him a questioning look as the shorter smacks his boyfriend on the arm. 

"You didn't tell me my boss was here, you jerk." Baekhyun whines before one last fatal smack on the arm. Chanyeol opens his mouth to retort but is silenced when a knock is heard on the door. 

Baekhyun squeaks and ducks out of the living room, presumably to put a shirt on. Kyungsoo turns to Chanyeol now, a question gleaming in his brown eyes. 

"It's Jongin." Chanyeol answers, suddenly unable to keep eye contact with the shorter. Kyungsoo leaps off the couch, diving behind the piece of furniture. 

"Why is he here?" Kyungsoo whisper-yells. His heart is beating too fast to be normal and he's desperately trying to conceal himself behind the couch. 

"I called him right after you called me. I was worried and wanted to know what was going on. He said that you were running away from him, and I said that you were coming over here. And that he should come." Kyungsoo groans. "I thought you guys needed to talk stuff out! You should've heard him, he was so sad sounding, I couldn't help it-" 

Another knock on the door, though this one sounds hesitant, as if Jongin is second guessing his wanting to come in. 

"Tell him I left! I'm not here!" Kyungsoo urges desperately. Chanyeol looks at his friend with pleading in his eyes, almost begging Kyungsoo to not make him lie. 

By the time Chanyeol has the door open, Jongin is stepping in hesitantly. The tallest boy observes his friend's husband for a brief moment, taking in the worry set in his features. He notices how ruffled Jongin's hair is and how disheveled the boy looks in general, and starts to feel guilty for what he's about to do. Lying is not Chanyeol's forté.

"Kyungsoo left." 

Shock settles into Jongin's features, making his eyebrows shoot up and mouth part. Chanyeol watches as Jongin seems to take in the information before the latter brings his hands up to rub his eyes harshly. 

"He heard me say that you were coming, and-" 

"I should've guessed." Jongin laughs, but with no humor. "It's all my fault. He keeps avoiding me. I should've known he'd avoid me even more now." 

"I think he's just confused. I mean, I've known Kyungsoo for a long time." Chanyeol attempts to explain to the boy standing in his doorway.

Kyungsoo watches in fascination from his spot behind the couch as Jongin seems to deflate even more. He starts to feel the guilt piling up again, tugging at his heart. He can't stand that he's the one who's caused Jongin to look this sad. 

"I tried so hard these last few weeks! It's just when I saw him finally smiling at me, I just--" 

"Just try talking to him. He'll understand." Chanyeol advises. He feels as though Jongin will start confessing things that Kyungsoo needs to hear when the two are alone, not when he's hiding behind his friend's couch. 

"How am I supposed to talk to him when he avoids me like the plague?" Jongin asks in a pitiful voice. Chanyeol uses the fact that Jongin's staring at the floor to steal a quick look at Kyungsoo. 

From behind the couch, he can see Kyungsoo mouthing something. It takes him a second before he realizes that he's actually saying 'check your phone'. Chanyeol almost nods before realizing it might blow his cover. 

He grabs the phone from his pocket, noticing that he has two missed texts. 

From kyungsoo hyung~: tell him i just texted you saying im gonna go home soon

From kyungsoo hyung~: i can't keep watching!!!! ANSWER YOUR PHONE IDIOT

Chanyeol nods, understanding the plan. Get Jongin out, and Kyungsoo will go home later. He feels a bit of hope spark inside him at the thought that Kyungsoo will actually talk to Jongin about what he's feeling. 

"Kyungsoo just texted me." 

Jongin's head snaps up almost immediately, and he's nodding for more information. 

"He said he's going home soon and for me not to worry. He's on his way." 

Jongin's eyes widen and a grin breaks across his face before a look of panic sets in on his tanned features. 

"When did he text you that? Oh no, what if he gets home first and thinks I left, too--" 

"Better hurry!" 

Jongin nods and is halfway down the hallway from Chanyeol's apartment before he turns around to shout thank you. 

Kyungsoo waits only a minute or two before shuffling out the door as well, past a smug Chanyeol.

"What's your problem?" Kyungsoo asks, glaring at the taller boy. 

"I can't keep watching!" The taller boy breaks into laugher. "The second he comes in here a little stressed, you're running home so he doesn't worry." 

"No! I just realized how I feel guilty. I need to tell him that I feel guilty and things will go back to normal." 

"Hyung, things won't go back to normal. You saw his face--" 

Kyungsoo shakes his head, effectively shutting Chanyeol up. 

"I'll call you tomorrow, okay? Tell Baekhyun to rest up for work on monday." 

Chanyeol flushes red and nods. Kyungsoo smirks, knowing that anything involving his secretary was bound to make his friend blush. 

--

The second he steps foot in the door he hears the TV click off. Kyungsoo is sure that if it wasn't Jongin he was coming home to, he'd have been slightly intimidated by the seemingly obvious display of 'I was waiting for you'. 

Of course, though, it's Jongin, and so when the taller rushes in, Kyungsoo doesn't have to be worried. He avoids eye contact as he feels Jongin checking him up and down, trying to make sure that he's completely okay. 

He doesn't know why Jongin would need to check that. It wasn't like Kyungsoo was going to go get in a bar fight with anyone. 

"I need to talk to you." Kyungsoo says bravely. He's proud of himself for bringing it up. Jongin stares at him, shocked, and nods. 

It seems ridiculous for Jongin to ask what he needs to talk about, but Jongin does it anyway. It's only when Kyungsoo realizes that Jongin didn't actually ask a question, just that he read his eyes, that he starts to speak. 

"Okay. I feel guilty. Because you kiss me and then I leave and you look sad." Kyungsoo wishes he was more articulate when talking about feelings.

"It's okay." Jongin looks away awkwardly, feeling a pressure poking at his heart. 

"No." Kyungsoo shakes his head vehemently. "I mean, I really feel bad. It hurts. It's never felt like that when I'm mean to people, and--" 

Jongin looks up, a spark of hope shining in his brown eyes. Kyungsoo notices the glint and feels his own heart's rate triple. 

"Is it because you like me?" 

---

im such a bad person omg....i've been really busy lately so i haven't had much time to write :///

this prob bc i just wrote most of it at 2am because i felt bad for not updating lol 

ILL UPDATE SOONER NEXT TIME OK sorry for this lameass cliff hanger OK STAY BEAUTIFUL GUYS BYE BYE