Kyungsoo almost gets used to the ache in his right shoulder, but Jongin doesn't. He uses the injury as an excuse to cuddle for hours endlessly, ignoring his neglected homework on the kitchen table. No matter how much the elder nags him, Jongin shakes his head. 

"Look, we're breaking the new couch in. We need our imprints on there firmly." He wiggles in his seat, drawing out a muffled laugh from Kyungsoo. "Homework can wait." 

"Do your grades agree with you?" Kyungsoo asks with a quirk of his brows.

Jongin flushes, thinking about his subpar result on the last evaluation. In an attempt to change the subject, he attaches his lips to Kyungsoo's left cheek. His husband had stopped being extremely flustered with that, though, and instead he catches Jongin's lips with his fingers, squeezing them into a pout. Jongin curses himself for kissing the shorter boy too often. Now surprise kisses weren't a shock, and Jongin couldn't change the subject with a make out session. 

"Do I have to call Sehun?" Kyungsoo threatens, though Jongin can hear that there's no threat in his voice. "Do you need to have a study date so you can leave me alone for more than a minute?" 

"You want me to leave you alone?" Jongin whines, shaking his head out of Kyungsoo's soft grip. He rolls his eyes and scoots further away from Kyungsoo on the couch. 

"I never said that I wanted you to leave me alone. Just that my shoulder is fine and that you've been super clingy and you might need to actually accomplish things." 

The pout doesn't budge. Kyungsoo heaves a sigh and shuffles his way back to Jongin's side, kissing his chin softly, before ghosting over his cheek. Jongin shudders slightly, immediately on high alert. The eldest plants a soft, wet kiss on his husband's cheek. "You should study. Smart men are ier." 

Jongin blushes and smiles knowingly, pushing his way off of the couch and to the kitchen, his scholastic ability suddenly skyrocketing. Jjang-ah jumps up  from her plush dog bed and runs after him. Her fear of missing an adventure with Jongin must've outweighed her sleepiness.

Kyungsoo feels content that Jongin is finally doing something other than dote on him. As much as he loved being held in his husband's warm, soft embrace, his shoulder really felt fine. And Jjang-ah was fine, too. There was no reason to be coddled 24/7 (though Kyungsoo already misses Jongin, he notes with an internal sigh.)

--

"Sehun, which ring do you think Kyungsoo would prefer?" 

The newly rebleached blond looks up skeptically at his friend. 

"What money are you using to buy that ring?" Sehun aks with a slight frown. He was shocked and excited that his friend might actually get to truly propose, but he knew their situation at the moment. He knew Jongin didn't want to go any more in debt to his parents than he already was.

"I'm just looking. Do you think he's a birthstone on your rings kind of person?" Jongin asks quietly, eyes focused on the laptop screen in front of him. 

Sehun looks around at their busy classmates, all actually working on final papers. He's fairly sure this isn't what the library was made for. 

"Jongin, you married him. I don't know. . ." 

The tan boy laughs and nods, acknowledging the truth in his friend's statement. He nervously wrings his hands. The cost for some of these rings wouldn't have made him flinch a month ago, but thinking about really, truly owing his parents hurts his heart. The image of his mom smiling at him kindly causes a twinge of guilt to settle deep in his stomach. 

Jongin's phone rings suddenly and loudly. The shrill tone draws the attention of everybody in the library, as Jongin soon finds out, when at least thirty people glare at him. He gives a small, distressed smile and scurries away towards the hall to answer. 

A quick caller ID check confirms that moms must actually have powers. 

"Mom?" He answers. 

"Jongin! It's been so long since I've spoken to you!" Her loud volume confirms Jongin's suspsicions that she'd been missig him. "I haven't seen you in at least a month." 

"Sorry, Mom. You know how it's been. . ." a pregnant pause, "I finally, really got together with Kyungsoo. And then his dad and the apartment and the hospital--" 

"Hospital?" Panic, Jongin recognizes. 

"Oh, no, no don't worry! Kyungsoo got scratched up. He's okay now, I think. I'm a good nurse." Jongin thinks about how well Kyungsoo has been doing picking stuff up with his right arm in the last couple of days. He smiles to himself. 

"Well, goodness, that's good. I actually called because your father and I were thinking of hosting something. A party, maybe? Your father wants an excuse to drink expensive wine and show people the house, that's all. But I wanted you two to come." 

Before Jongin can respond, his mom coughs and continues on, "I haven't seen Kyungsoo since you were first engaged. And you haven't been around your friends in months. I want you to come home, even if it's for a night, okay? Please, sweetie." 

Jongin can feel the desperation in her voice and his guilt only grows. He nods and clears his throat, "Of course, mom. We'll be there." 

He hangs up shortly after, making motions to Sehun that he has to leave and go home. Sehun looks confused but seems to catch by the third time of Jongin mimicking a wheel. He nods and watches as Jongin tiptoes back in for his laptop and bag, waving a hurried hand goodbye. 

A short drive back to the apartment leaves him nervous for no reason. He knows Kyungsoo won't be against visiting his family, but thinking about Kyungsoo explaining his sudden detachment from the Do family leaves his stomach in knots. He knows his father, and he knows that there will be a multitude of influential people there. And that in that multitude, one of them will ask about the elephant in the room. 

He sighs and steps into the apartment, which is quiet. It's off, Jongin knows. Something is wrong. The pool of anxiety in his stomach turns into an entire ocean. 

Normally Kyungsoo would've come and tackled him with affection, or would've walked out of the kitchen and smiled. Or emerged from the bedroom, him being a light sleeper, with bedhead and and warm cheeks. Jongin drops his bag and laptop on the couch, jogging towards the other rooms of the apartment, heart weighed down with anxiety. 

"Kyungsoo?" He calls. The silence that greets him only makes his heart race faster, and he can feel that his hands are starting to sweat. He's panicking and all he can think is Kyungsoo's dad brought him back. Kyungsoo might not be safe. Kyungsoo's dad took him. Kyungsoo is gone. 

"Kyungsoo?" He's actually screaming now, checking each room for the second time. He can't believe he's really shaking this, but the fear of what Kyungsoo's dad might do, or who might've come to the door, consumes him. 

Fumbling hands find Kyungsoo's contact and press the call button. The ring back tone sounds too ominous, and Jongin feels like he might actually start crying. On the fifth ring, the scratchy sound of background noise can be heard. Jongin is so shocked that he almost drops the phone, shaky hands losing their grip temporarily. 

"Jongin!" The hurried tone of his husband's voice makes his heart drop. 

"Honey! Kyungsoo, are you okay? Where are you?" 

Heavy pants can be heard over the phone and Jongin's brows furrow in worry. He doesn't know what the other could possibly be doing. 

"I got a job! I've been applying for companies, you know? Well, I got this call and I went down to their headquarters and they actually want me to be on the planning team and get a salary and make me feel like a useful person again!" Kyungsoo giggles into the reciever.

Jongin's sigh of relief adds back fifty years to his life. He sits down on the couch, feeling weak and happy. 

"I'm so happy for you," Jongin says, though he knows his tone must still sound worried, "Really." 

"I'll be on my way back soon, okay? I'll pick up some takeout and be home in twenty." Kyungsoo's voice is excited and strained, but it drops low and shy in a split second, "I love you." 

Jongin almost screams into the phone because they've said it before, he knows they both believe it, but hearing it whispered like a treasured secret over the phone makes his heart leap. He punches the pillow next to him in an attempt to get out the joy bubbling inside him. 

"I love you, too." He whispers back, feeling like he just divulged his biggest secret. 

The line clicks and the call ends. Jongin's heart jumps and tumbles for a couple more minutes, his adrenaline pumping too hard from the combined stress of worrying and hearing Kyungsoo's soft voice. He's changed into pajamas and turned the TV to some variety show by the time Kyungsoo walks into the apartment, his hands full of carry-out bags. Jjang-ah remains sleeping in the corner, now accustomed to the door opening, and more afraid of going outside.

Jongin is jolted back to atention when he sees that the other is wearing a suit. It used to be every day that Kyungsoo dressed like a business man, but now it seemed foreign. A good foreign, Jongin notes, when his heart flips at the sight of Kyungsoo's smile and sleek hair. 

"You look like how you did when we first met," Jongin realizes aloud, nodding at his husband's attire. Kyungsoo looks down, embarrassed. 

"I looked like this every day until like. . . three weeks ago." Kyungsoo replies. "You don't look like how you did when we first met." 

Jongin has half a mind to be offended at Kyungsoo's silly face and roaming eyes, but he knows Kyungsoo likes when his hair is down and soft. He knows what version of Jongin his husband prefers, and so he's fine with being ogled and judged. He's confident that Kyungsoo likes what he is looking at. 

"I was trying really hard when we first met, that's why. I hate putting my bangs up or wearing suits. I just wear jeans and t-shirts to school." He stands to help Kyungsoo with unpacking the food. Now Jjang-ah makes her move, smelling pork. "I've never looked like when we first met." 

"Remember the time you threw water on my face?" Kyungsoo asks. Jongin chokes on the bite he'd already shoved in his mouth, blowing pieces of fried rice onto the floor. 

Jjang-ah jumps on the chance, eating the rice before Kyungsoo can stop her. He makes a loud, frustrated noise. "That's so gross. That is so gross. Jongin, why do you let her do that?" 

Jongin argues back a response, though it's muffled through his mouthful of food. Finally, a few chews later, Jongin chokes out a, "Dogs are like vacuums. It's okay." 

The pair are now sitting on the couch, both with a container in their hands, sharing food back and forth. Kyungsoo normally would think it's weird to eat in the living room, but when Jongin is cuddly and wearing sweatpants and wants to just watch TV and have some Chinese takeout, he's happy to oblige. Jongin thinks it feels like couples he saw in movies when he was little. After being raised in a strict, rich household, it feels good to sit on his couch in a tiny apartment with the love of his life. 

"About throwing water on you. . . I really was sorry." Jongin adds,"You were just being a , okay?" 

Kyungsoo snorts, putting his hand in front of his mouth in order to keep himself from laughing. He nods, acknowledging. 

"Yeah, I was. But I wasn't happy with the entire thing. I just felt so. . . used."

Jongin nods, remembering how easily he took it. He sort of regrets letting his parents use him like that but he'd never been raised to react any differently. He guesses that he isn't as naturally rebellious as his husband.

Kyungsoo sets his food down on the table, and Jongin senses a serious talk coming. Jongin decides to continue with his side of the arrangement, knowing that Kyungsoo would need a few more minutes to compose his thoughts before speaking. 

"I know. You were stronger than me, honestly. I just went along with it. I let myself get used. Didn't that make you mad? Why didn't you hate me more?" Jongin asks sincerely. He's worried to talk about this subject, worried it might bring up bad memories or fights. 

"I never hated you. I just hated the situation and how willing you were to play along." Kyungsoo shrugs his shoulders slightly, and Jongin can feel the sadness in his tone. "You were always such a good son, you know? I wasn't. . . and look where that got me." 

"Kyungsoo, that's not--" Jongin stops speaking when he sees Kyungsoo shaking his head. He knows that the eldest needs to say more, needs to explain himself and finally talk about the past. 

"I know. It's not because of the marriage, it's because I wouldn't divorce. I just can't believe he--" a sigh, "My father let me leave? He actually told me to never come back. He kicked us out. He hates your family more than he loves me." 

Kyungsoo can feel the tears building up but he blinks them away, willing himself to get through this conversation. He'd always wanted to bring it up to Jongin, to have a real conversation about what had happened in there, but life had been so busy. 

"I want to tell you something, okay?" Kyungsoo is whispering now. Jongin can only set his food down on the coffee table and nod along. A cold, soft hand finds its way to hold Jongin's and he squeezes it immediately. The coarsed, warm hands tell Kyungsoo I'm here, just speak. 

"My mom died when I was really little. I don't really know how, but I heard maids and tutors over the years reference a car crash. All I know is that I don't remember her. And my father never wanted me to remember her."

Jongin's dark brown eyes cloud with confusion at this. The cold hands are shaking. 

Kyungsoo elaborates, "There were no pictures of her up. He hid them all unless it was her memorial or birthday. I never got to see her or hear stories or meet that side of the family it was just-- just me and my father. But he wasn't the most caring, you know. I didn't know what it felt like to grow up feeling open to love. I never thought I could trust the decisions my father made for me. You had that. . . your parents love you so much, Jongin." 

Jongin notices the soft smile on Kyungsoo's face, even as tears form in the corners of his eyes. 

"It was easier for you to go along with it because you trust your parents. I never got the chance to know my mom, and my father was always just a secretive old man to me. He never felt like a parent. So, of course, I was so scared. I was so angry." 

The tears spill over now, and Jongin collects the smaller boy into his arms, soft pats on his back enough to pacify the violent sobs. Heat blossoms in Kyungsoo's chest, the sudden relief of telling someone overwhelming. 

"I'm sorry," he sobs out, and Jongin holds him tighter. 

"Why are you sorry? Kyungsoo, it's okay. You don't have to be sorry for anything." A sniffle is blown into Jongin's old t-shirt, eliciting a small laugh out of the younger despite the circumstances. He mumbles into Kyungsoo's hair, "I'm not a tissue." 

There's a small laugh and a puff of hot air blown into Jongin's chest. It makes him feel better, knowing that Kyungsoo isn't so upset that he's beyond laughing. 

"I ignored it when you cried sometimes at night-- you always sounded so sad. I thought that it didn't matter, and we'd get divorced. Those first two weeks, I left you crying in bed. I can't believe I did that, I just, I should've known better. I was so lonely and scared! I should've known that you were too--" 

"That's it?" Jongin laughs out loud, rubbing his husband's back. "Honey, that doesn't matter. I was crying because I was scared. After a few weeks, I started liking you. I wasn't scared anymore. You were a happy place for me, okay? Don't be sorry." 

Kyungsoo nods slowly into Jongin's chest, feeling exhausted from the crying. Jongin thinks for a second, wary to bring up any issues, but wanting to get apologies off of his chest. 

"I'm sorry, too. For attacking that one worker." He pauses, "Actually, no I'm not." 

Kyungsoo laughs out loud at that, really laughs, so that it rings through the apartment and Jongin's ears. 

"I am sorry, though, for that time I made you jealous with Krystal. I didn't mean to-- I mean, I never plotted it, unlike someone--" A slap to the arm cuts him off. 

Kyungsoo pushing himself up with an annoyed face. "I already apologized about Kris! Stop!" 

Jongin laughs, head thrown back, and Kyungsoo glares before joining in, albeit softy. He pushes himself away from Jongin, grabbing for the food again. 

"You're evil," He concludes, taking a bite of Jongin's food instead of his. Jongin watches on with a loving smile before grabbing the other bowl off the table. 

"I love you, though," Jongin whispers. The noise Kyungsoo makes confirms that he heard it, and the older boy is blushing red. "Thank you for telling me all that stuff. I know it's hard for you." 

"You're the only person I've ever really told. Chanyeol always knew because we grew up together, but you're the first that I . . . chose to tell. Thank you, Jongin." A deep breath, "I love you." 

Both feel like it means so much more when they're eating on the couch together, watching reruns while their dog goes back to the sleep in the corner.  

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uhhh ok this is SUPER sappy bc i wrote it while listening to the moon lovers ost nd.... that gets me everytime. but i felt like they needed to talk abt the past?? just a lil?? i hope u guys like it ... its a pretty boring chapter but next chapter theyll go to a party and socialize nd ill think of some Drama ok ? ok , love u thank u for reading if u are reading !!!!!!!! <3