Excuses

How They Want Me To Be

Jongin waits at least thirty seconds for a response before a highly flustered Kyungsoo shoves his shoulder. The shorter boy barely meets his eyes for a second before releasing his grip on Jongin's shoulder. Jongin doesn't fail to notice the way he clenches his hand as though he'd just touched fire. Before he can ask what's wrong, Kyungsoo makes a loud noise, earning Jongin's full attention. 

"No! Why would I like you?" Kyungsoo almost screams, seemingly angry and nervous at the same time.

Jongin can see the emotions flickering through his eyes and almost figures out what the shifting of his husband's brown eyes mean before Kyungsoo shoves past him and into the living room. Jongin sighs angrily and stops to kick at the pile of shoes near him. He'd been feeling like all night because of what happened, and now Kyungsoo was being rude to him? Jongin was always the one putting himself out there-- kissing first, and now asking if Kyungsoo liked him-- but no matter what he did, it seemed the older boy was always angry at him. 

Thinking of the way Kyungsoo's lips felt, his heart softened a little and he felt a prick of tears rushing to his eyes. He'd just been cruelly rejected and he knew it was natural to cry, but he still felt like a baby. Angrily he fisted at his eyes as he made his way into the living room, only stopping when he reached where Kyungsoo was standing. If he wanted to save any of his pride, he'd have to act as though everything was normal. 

"I was only asking just in case you did. I don't like you, either." He takes in Kyungsoo's darkening facial expression. "I only kissed you because it's been awhile since I've been with someone."

"Been awhile?" Kyungsoo scoffs. 

He can't believe Jongin is saying this. That idiot, he was sure the younger boy liked him-- didn't he? Fear coursed through his veins for a split second. What if it was all true and Jongin didn't actually like him? He'd never thought about it, Jongin was just a presence in his life that gave him a weird sort of comfort when he got home from work. He'd always suspected that Jongin had a little crush on him, but nothing too serious. But at the thought that maybe Jongin really didn't like him at all, he felt like he lost a little piece of him.

"Yeah, it's been awhile. It was all instinct. So you didn't have to storm out and make me think you were dead out there!" Jongin replies back right away, interrupting Kyungsoo's internal conflict. His mouth drops open in anger at the words. 

"All instinct? That's the worst excuse I've ever heard, I don't go around kissing everyone like--" 

"I don't kiss everyone!"

"Krystal!" 

Jongin stomps his feet angrily before flopping down onto the couch.

"I already told you that--" 

Kyungsoo makes a noise that equates to 'shut up' and Jongin bitterly shuts his mouth. 

"Don't worry. I don't like you, and you don't like me. Go kiss whatever girl throws herself at you." 

"She doesn't throw herself at me, Kyungsoo, you're being--" 

"I'm going to bed." 

Jongin hears Kyungsoo slam the door their shared bedroom and decides that he should definitely sleep in the guest bedroom tonight. He sits there, contemplating all that just happened. He was so happy that Kyungsoo came back home so quickly, but the second Jongin tried to make any progress, Kyungsoo flat out denied him. And what Jongin had said-- oh my god, he couldn't believe he'd said that-- about it being instinct seemed to make Kyungsoo twice as angry. He'd pretty much just screwed up everything he'd hoped for in the last three hours. 

It's a long night for Jongin sleeping in the guest bedroom for three reasons. 

One, he's never slept in it before. The only time he'd ever looked inside it was when Kyungsoo briefly banned him from sharing the master bedroom. Of course, he'd whined enough that Kyungsoo gave in and he was sure he'd never have to see this bedroom again. However, he was wrong. 

Two, he's become unaccustomed to not having someone near him when he sleeps. He never holds Kyungsoo (because the older normally makes sure to put a big pillow in between their sides of the beds) but it still feels empty to not hear someone breathing near him. He doesn't like how he can't tell if Kyungsoo's asleep in the next room or not. 

Three, his thoughts are running wild. He knows if he was in his normal bed right now-- it hurts him to think about it, actually-- Kyungsoo would have already yelled at him to stop fidgeting and go to sleep. But he can't stop thinking about what Kyungsoo said, did, and what he might've felt earlier. He wants to curl in a ball and never wake up, but he knows that in four hours Kyungsoo will be awake and making breakfast.

Kyungsoo is so mad. He knows that he probably does like Jongin-- even a little-- because of what Chanyeol told him earlier that night, but he just couldn't admit it when he was standing there in front of Jongin. Something about the way the boy said it made him feel embarrassed and he automatically defaulted to denial. Then, Jongin had to go and say that everything was out of instinct. 

He wanted to punch Jongin in the face, but he also felt like if he did that, he'd cry seeing his face all busted up. He sighs and rolls over in his bed, wishing he could just fall asleep.

--

The morning is significantly less awkward than expected, as Jongin sleeps in far past Kyungsoo. Normally, the oldest of the two would've burst in and forced him to wake up for breakfast, but he makes no move and allows the boy to sleep almost until noon. That does mean, however, that when Jongin wakes up feeling like he slept far too much, he knows that Kyungsoo didn't even make any effort to give him breakfast. It hurts a little more than he'd expected, so it's hard to keep it from showing on his face. 

Kyungsoo looks up and meets his eyes as he wanders into the kitchen, stiffening visibly at the table. 

Jongin says nothing as he grabs cereal from the pantry and fixes himself a bowl. He avoids eye contact as he wolfs down his cereal-- even though he hated this brand and forgot to tell Kyungsoo to not buy it again. 

Kyungsoo tries to ignore the tension filling the room by focusing on his phone. 

To Chanyeol: Jongin's being a jerk. He said he only kissed me because 'it'd been awhile'. 

From Chanyeol: should i punch him? ??

To Chanyeol: No! I just want him to stop being such an

From Chanyeol: good i didn't wanna. he seemed worried last night i think he rlly likes u. just make him jealous so he'll stop pretending or smth

To Chanyeol: Jealous? How? Jongin wouldn't feel threatened by anyone I know.

From Chanyeol: man idk im tryna eat lunch!! i'm sure he'll get jealous of someone

To Chanyeol: I'll try, but I doubt anything will work. He's just as stubborn as I am, you know. Okay, go eat. Bye.

Kyungsoo stares at the phone, contemplating his options silently. He could always say that Victoria had come back and was hitting on him in passing, although he doubted that he could say it with a straight face. Kyungsoo had never even thought of Victoria as anything other than his nice, motherly, secretary. 

Of course, Jongin knew about Chanyeol and Baekhyun's relationship and wouldn't believe anything he said about either of them. His mind flashes to Minseok from work, but he immediately feels guilty because the man's only ever been kind to him. Also, even if Jongin met him, he was positive that he wouldn't feel threatened by him. He was as short as Kyungsoo and an infinitely nicer, so he doubt it'd work with Minseok. 

He's practically out of people when the doorbell rings. It startles both of them, and prompts Jongin to look over, questioning him on any guests. Kyungsoo shrugs and stands up to go get the door. Jongin follows suit, albeit awkwardly. 

Kyungsoo is shocked when he opens the door. He expected the mail man or a neightbor, maybe even Sehun, but not who he was greeted by. Kris wasn't in his usual suit, but casual jeans and a t-shirt. The normalcy of his clothes made him seem even taller, and Kyungsoo stared up at his business partner with confusion clear in his features. 

"It's a Saturday." Kyungsoo points out dumbly. He can hear Jongin's footsteps stop right behind him and is suddenly aware of the boy's presence

"I know it's Saturday, but I wanted to go over these graphs one more time. I think your father would appreciate us putting in the work-- you know how big this company deal is. . ." 

It's halfway through Kris' sentence that something clicks in Kyungsoo's head. He feels himself wanting to smile, feeling slightly mischievous but mostly nervous. He knew how badly Kris bothered Jongin. Chanyeol's words of advice flash through his mind and he's convinced-- this is perfect. 

He's not positive that he'll be able to pull it off-- mainly because of his aversion to touching strangers, much less Kris, who was overly touchy-- but he thinks he could try to execute Chanyeol's plan. 

He wasn't sure what he was trying to accomplish by making Jongin jealous, but the thought of Jongin feeling as angry as he did last night made him feel a little bit better. Sure, he'd freaked out and ran away, but he came back an hour later. He was going to apologize, but then Jongin had to go and make him seem like he was as important as Krystal. The thought of her made his chest burn, and yes, he was sure that Jongin deserved this. 

"Oh. Come in, then." Kyungsoo steps out of the doorway, shooting Jongin a pointed look to do the same. The younger's eyes widen and he eyes Kyungsoo warily. 

As Kris takes off his shoes, Kyungsoo sees Jongin frantically mouthing something to him. He watches him carefully, making out the words, 'Why, would, let, in'. Kyungsoo looks away immediately after understanding what his husband was trying to ask, moving more towards Kris. 

"We weren't doing anything, anyway. We can work in the living room. If you want?" Kyungsoo asks with a smile, although he fears it looks fake. Kris' eyes grow wide and he beams back, nodding wildly. 

Kyungsoo feels bad for making Kris think he liked him, but really, if he was getting his hopes up when he knew Kyungsoo was married, he deserved a little bit of teasing. Large hands grip Kyungsoo's shoulders as he walks Kris to the couch. He waits until the tallest boy has settled down on the black leather couch before running off towards the office to grab his laptop. 

Jongin stares at the scene in front of him. First, Kris had just shown up at their house. He expected Kyungsoo to turn him away-- it was a Saturday!-- but instead, Kyungsoo welcomed him in smiling. Had something happened at work that made them that close? A sudden fear shoots through him as he realizes that their marriage is fake; Kyungsoo didn't have to stay faithful at all. 

He finds himself glaring at Kris without realizing it, and only stops when Kris meets his eyes with the same look. Jongin looks away quickly, although he feels anger bubbling in his chest. Last time he'd met Kyungsoo's business partner, the taller man had completely ignored Jongin. 

Kyungsoo comes bustling back into the room, not sparing a glance at Jongin, and settles himself down next to Kris. He doesn't flinch like he used to when Kris puts a hand on his knee, and instead pulls out the laptop and starts speaking quietly with the taller boy. Jongin watches, affronted. He can't believe that Kris-- that jerk-- was sitting happily on the couch with Kyungsoo. He feels a sharp pain in his chest as he remembers kissing Kyungsoo there only the night before. 

He was not happy.

 

 

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it's been forever it feels like ;_; but i'm finally updating and hopefully will be updating a ton more!! most of my big summer plans and stuff are over and i have about a month before my summer practices/school starts so!!!! lots of writing time :)))

also, the inspiration for this was from some of the comments saying they wanted jealous jongin so here you go!!! it'll be continued next chapter (obv) and sorry for keeping u waiting^^

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lee-jinki12
shameless self promotion, but i just started a new (possibly) chaptered kaisoo fic as well!! check it out if you have time~~

Comments

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Kimboum #1
Chapter 17: Please please update it please ???????????????????????
The_Nesoi
#2
Chapter 13: This story deserves an Oscar. Too bad the writer won't update it :"(
_chanchan #3
/sigh/ I miss this fic :(
Kadi22
#4
Chapter 17: This is so amazing!!! Please keep updating!!! I haven't read a fanfic in a while that has made my heart clench.
zeemarley
#5
Chapter 17: aisssshhhh soo's father really a dangerous treat to them!!!!!! n im wonderingg how this story will go :'))))))))))))))))
kimjongina
#6
Chapter 17: That was really sweet
universal123
#7
Chapter 17: Poor kyungsoo he must felt so sad that his dad did not love him enough and he knows nothing about his mom....hopefully jongin family and their love will lighten kyungsoo's hurt and make him feel more loved!!
BrookieBag
#8
Chapter 17: This is so good!! I feel so bad for Kyungsoo, but I am so overjoyed at the thought of Jongin's parents caring enough to support both of them and their love. I don't think I could forgive Kyungsoo's father if I were Kyungsoo. That line, "He hates your family more than he loves me," absolutely killed me because I can feel how hard it is for Kyungsoo. I'm so sad, but I'm also so happy.
_chanchan #9
Chapter 17: I just really want to punch kyungsoo's dad in the face. HE BETTER NOT BE AT THE PARTY
k4is00
#10
Chapter 17: Clingy Jongin is so cute .. Ahhhhhhhh....... Don't cry kyungsoo-ah .. You are not alone now .. You have your Jongin besides you