Performance

How They Want Me To Be

Kyungsoo wakes up too early for a Saturday, glancing over to the clock to see that it's only seven in the morning. It takes him a minute to realize that he must've woken because the other side was unoccupied. He scrunches his eyebrows together and looks around the room briefly. Jongin was never up before nine if he had a choice, not like the boy had a choice on school days, but it feel strange to know he was awake when the sun had barely come out. The lack of him in the room made it feel weird and empty, so Kyungsoo pads out of the bedroom quickly, searching for signs of the taller boy. 

He finds it in the form of a note on the kitchen counter. Kyungsoo realizes he's never really seen Jongin's handwriting, but it's just like he imagined, messy and big. 

Kyungsoo, 

I have dance practice until noon so I'll be home then. I didn't try to cook so don't worry, no food was burned while you were sleeping! 

--Jongin

Kyungsoo stares down at the note, dumbfounded. Five hours of practice? No, wait, he'd left before he'd even woken up. So more than five? The performance was tomorrow! He huffs at the unreasonable amount of dancing Jongin would have to be doing and walks to the fridge to grab something for breakfast. Halfway through breakfast he rereads the note, liking the way the scrawl looks over the paper. He frowns after realizing he's read it three times and goes to put his plate in the sink. 

Kyungsoo lazes around the house, unsure of what to do. Normally on weekends Jongin would be asleep so he'd wake up and make some breakfast before waking the other up. And then they'd eat and watch TV (Kyungsoo liked the kids shows, but he only let himself watch it after Jongin suggested it) before they actually went and did something. Sometimes it was Kyungsoo saying he needed new socks and so they dragged themselves to a store, and sometimes Jongin decided he needed to go see that new movie, so they'd go to the theaters. 

Kyungsoo lays on the couch, seriously trying to think of what he did on the weekends before he moved in with Jongin. He thinks he normally slept, worked, or called Chanyeol. That's it. 

Three tones later, Chanyeol picks up the phone. 

"Hello?" 

"Are you busy?" Kyungsoo asks hopefully. He wants an escape out of the house, no matter how intent on discussing Baekhyun Chanyeol undoubtedly is. 

"Uh, kind of. I'm with Baekhyun at the--" 

Kyungsoo feels uncomfortable knowing his secretary is there so he decides that he won't need to meet up with Chanyeol today. It's not that he doesn't like them together-- he knows that Baekhyun is probably a perfect match for Chanyeol-- he just doesn't like the thought of them together. As in, kissing and being coupley while he's there. It makes him feel a weird sort of hurt in his chest that they're so happy and open about all of it, and he decides to avoid any situations involving both of them at once. 

"Oh, nevermind. Have fun!" He barely hears Chanyeol quick and surprised goodbye before he hangs up. 

It's an hour later, when even dumb kid shows don't keep Kyungsoo's attention, that he decides to talk a walk. He slips on his shoes and a jacket before leaving the house, deciding to walk around the neighborhood for an hour or two. If Jongin was exercising, couldn't he? 

He kicks at the falling autumn leaves and likes the way some of them crunch under his black sneakers. He watches as a bunch of kids run past, all screaming happily. He wishes that he was one of those kids, so happy and young. He watches as a little girl trips and one of her friends helps her back up, extending their chubby fingers. Kyungsoo doesn't know why, but suddenly he doesn't want to be a kid, he wants to have one. It hits him hard, and he almost stops walking. He wouldn't be as bored if he had a baby to watch, and Jongin would love to play with-- 

He freezes and shakes his head. That was weird. His thoughts were too sidetracked, why would he and Jongin raise a kid? He sighs deeply and continues walking, a weird feeling in his chest.

Just when he's gotten his mind off having a family, he bumps into something tall and blonde. He raises his head, startled by the sight of Sehun in front of him. 

"Jongin's husband! Kyung. . .Kyungsoo!" Sehun laughs, pointing at the shorter boy. Kyungsoo smiles back softly, nodding in greetings. 

"Do you live in this neighborhood?" Kyungsoo asks, looking around to see that he's only two or three blocks from his house. 

"My parents do. And I live with them so. . .yeah." Sehun laughs again, his eyes crinkling. 

"I didn't know you were so rich." Kyungsoo points out, looking at Sehun's mismatched pajamas. 

"Like I said, my parents are." Sehun turns to the left, jabbing his thumb out towards the nearest house. 

"That's your house? It's so close to ours." Kyungsoo notes, looking the house over. It's the same design as his, though this one is brick and not a painted white. 

"I was getting the mail." He now points to a mailbox about a foot behind Kyungsoo. He blushes, embarrassed. So that's why he ran into Sehun. 

"I was just going for a walk, sorry to bump into you. I was zoned out." Kyungsoo explains. Sehun shakes his head and shrugs. 

"I ran into you too." Sehun grabs the mail by reaching around Kyungsoo. "Are you taking a walk because Jongin's at rehearsals?" 

Kyungsoo feels embarrassed, but he nods nonetheless. He doesn't know why he feels so awkward saying yes. It's not like Sehun knew they weren't really married, so why should he be embarrassed?

"Yeah. It was really quiet in the house, so. . ." 

"That . I mean, if you're anything like Jongin, you must really be bored without him. Even at school he'll see a poster and say 'Kyungsoo would like that club, he's into this, or that, blah blah blah'. I mean it's just Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo. . ." Sehun's eyes widen as he seems to realize who he's talking to. 

Kyungsoo realizes his blank stare must've looked scary enough to freak out the tall boy, but in all reality he's struck by the thought that Jongin talks about him. A lot. 

"I didn't mean it like that--" Sehun looks panicked. Kyungsoo waves it off, smiling at the blonde boy. 

"You're fine, I know what you mean. Hey, I'm going to head home now, okay? See you around the neighborhood. I'll make sure to tell Jongin where you live." 

Sehun watches him walk away in fascination, slightly impressed by Jongin's choice in men. He pulls out his phone and goes through his contacts, searching.

--

Jongin is so tired he wants to pass out. Hyoyeon isn't doing much better, but she's still standing at least. She's hunched over, checking her texts from inside her bag. Jongin watches her, envious that she has people to text at any given time. Sehun only texts him about homework and Kyungsoo. . . well, he's more of a call and yell at you to come home because he doesn't want his dinner to get wasted type. 

Thinking about it, he pulls out his phone just in case. He sees that he received a text about three hours ago from Sehun. Oops. 

From Sehunnie: i just ran into your husband on the streets....he looks really pretty in pajamas, you know? hehe^^

Jongin stares at the text for a minute, slightly in shock. What? Why was Kyungsoo on the streets in his pajamas? Which streets? The driveway, or walking through the middle of Seoul? Jongin groans angrily, needing answers, and mad at himself for not checking his phone earlier. 

To Sehunnie: ???????? was he okay? you would've called me if he wasn't, right? 

Jongin thinks that's sufficient and nods, pleased with himself. On an afterthought, he sends another text. 

To Sehunnie: also he shouldnt be pretty to you... hehe^^

Jongin thinks he's pretty funny for mocking the way Sehun texts and is almost proud enough to show Hyoyeon, but before he can, she's turning the music back on and telling him to stand up. He throws his phone in his bag and prepares himself to dance even more, although his body is tired enough to sleep for twelve hours straight. 

--

Kyungsoo is afraid to let Jongin keep sleeping. He got home at noon, asked for lunch, and by the time Kyungsoo came back with a bowl of soup, was asleep on the couch. Kyungsoo had frowned and kicked him until the younger boy got up and dragged himself into the bedroom. But it was seven at night now, and Jongin still hadn't gotten up. Dinner had been ready an hour ago, but Kyungsoo thought to let him keep sleeping because he knew the dancer was tired. Now, though, it was scaring him. What if he'd fallen into a deep coma and Kyungsoo had given enough time to never wake up again? He knew it was ridiculous, but the possibility of it outweighed the logic. 

He walks quietly into their bedroom, watching Jongin's sleeping figure snore away. He tries, quietly at first, to wake the boy up, but to no avail.

Coming up with plan two on the spot, Kyungsoo screams bloody murder. Jongin is up in an instant, stumbling off the bed and towards him. 

"You okay?" Jongin slurs, looking the boy up and down. Kyungsoo nods, slightly impressed by his idea. 

"You weren't waking up, so. . ." 

"One of these days you're going to actually get hurt, but I'll think you're just trying to wake me up and ignore it." Jongin scolds, yawning. 

"I made dinner." Kyungsoo says, ignoring Jongin's words.

Jongin's eyes widen and he smiles goofily, pushing past Kyungsoo to get to the kitchen. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and follows the sounds of Jongin's mumbles about food. 

--

Kyungsoo goes into the office the next day to try and work on his and Kris' documents before Monday. He wanted to avoid extra time with said male, and realized that it might be more awkward Monday after him and Jongin's run in. So he tells Jongin over breakfast of his plans to work most of the day. The younger looks a little shocked but nods anyway, going back to eating his food. 

It's been three hours and Kyungsoo's back is starting to hurt from sitting over his desk. He's figured out the graphs completely and has almost finished writing the reports. He smiles, knowing that his work is almost done. Only a second after the smile, though, he suddenly remembers Jongin's performance. He knows it's not for another hour and he can definitely make it, but that's not his biggest issue. 

Would Jongin think it was weird if he showed up without invitation? Jongin had never really asked him, or even told him, about the performance, and so he's doubting himself a little. He thinks that it'd be nice of him to do as a fake husband-- or even a friend, Kyungsoo notes-- and decides that he'll go. If Jongin brings up him not being told, he'll lie and say his father called him about it. He nods, approving his perfect plan. 

It's twenty minutes from his work to Jongin's school, so he takes his time leaving his office. He goes out to his car and takes a seat, mulling over whether or not to go again. He's seriously stressed about what idea Jongin might get if he goes. He can't have him thinking that he's gone soft and that they're close now or something. He groans and hits his head on the steering wheel once, causing the horn to blare for a split second. Kyungsoo lifts his head up quickly, embarrassed in the empty parking lot. 

He's lost, confused, and starting to feel slightly anxious about the whole thing before a ringing brings him out of his reverie. 

"What is it, Chanyeol?" Kyungsoo asks, still feeling annoyed. 

"Do you know where Baekhyun lives?" 

"Why would I know that?" Kyungsoo questions. He sighs, opening his mouth to speak again, "Aren't you guys dating or something? Shouldn't you know that?" 

"Okay, well I haven't been over to his place. He's only ever been over to mine. But apparently last time I took him out to dinner I said something that offended him and now he won't respond to anything!" Chanyeol sounds desperate. 

"He seems kind of moody. . .I don't think you need to worry. . ." Kyungsoo attempts to comfort his friend, although he knows his tone probably isn't the softest right now. 

"Okay. I'll try. . ." Chanyeol trails his sentence off in a way that's supposed to make Kyungsoo feel worse. He rolls his eyes, knowing the games Chanyeol's trying to play. 

"See? You're being dramatic, too. A perfect match." 

"Hey! Don't make fun of me, you !" 

Kyungsoo laughs slightly into the phone before saying a quick, "Don't worry! Bye." 

He hangs up before he can hear a reply from Chanyeol. Smiling, he throws his phone down and starts his long trek to the school. 

--

Jongin is a mess of butterflies, but Hyoyeon's soothing voice and small smiles are calming him down. He feels good knowing his mom is in the crowd and knows that at least one person will be proud of him. Even if he never got to bring it up to Kyungsoo before he left this morning, he was sure the older boy wouldn't want to go anyway, so it's not much of a loss. 

--

Kyungsoo feels odd in the big auditorium, sitting alone. He watches as who he presumes are some of Jongin's classmates file in and take a seat in front of him. He watches them giggle and talk excitedly to each other and feels inexplicably more lonely. It's only after he's noticed Jongin's mother across the room do the lights dim and he's waiting for Jongin to come out on stage. 

There's a group number without Jongin in it, a solo dance, and a trio all dancing around each other before Jongin's face is finally illuminated by the bright lights. 

Kyungsoo watches as his body moves fluidly, reaching out to catch and twist and throw the girl next to him at all the right moments. He's fascinated by the look on the younger boy's face when he gets into it, and is almost in awe by the end of the dance just at how beautiful it all is. He doesn't know if it's Jongin or the music or the combined factor of both, but he feels his heart become lighter than air with each step. Jongin spins the blonde girl in his arms and they come to a stop, him letting the girl slowly slide back down to hold onto his shoulders. He dips her down with both hands and as she lolls to the side, the music ends. 

Apparently they saved Jongin's dance for the finale because the lights come back on right away. Everyone stands and starts towards the exits except for the family of the dancers. Kyungsoo figures he counts and heads down towards the stage. He watches the blonde girl Jongin danced with run out and jump into the arms of who he assumes to be her mother. He smiles fondly at the thought of moms showing up to these events. He'd never really felt that. 

In an instant all the other dancers are out from backstage, all hugging and receiving flowers. Should he have brought flowers? No, that was too much--

Jongin appears, smiling widely and he runs towards his mother, hugging her tightly. Kyungsoo watches silently, standing ten feet away. He starts to feel slightly awkward and decides to leave as no one has noticed him, and it'd be strange if Jongin saw him just waiting next to the stage.

As he starts to move away from the stage, he feels eyes shift to him and he looks up, meeting the familiar gaze. Jongin's wide smile falters for a second before breaking into something bigger, like he's laughing silently. He runs towards Kyungsoo and the older boy has no idea what to do. He didn't expect to get this far, and Jongin's smiling in such a delighted way at him-- it's never happened before. 

Kyungsoo smiles back, though in a smaller way, trying to copy at least a fraction of what Jongin's doing right now. The taller boy reaches him in an instant and upon seeing his returned smile, seems to widen his eyes. Kyungsoo looks at him questioningly, but before he can voice anything, Jongin's smiling brightly again. Kyungsoo thinks it's the happiest thing he's ever seen. 

Kyungsoo is about to voice his reasons for coming to the performance, suddenly embarrassed for even coming, but Jongin prevents him from speaking when he presses a kiss to his right cheek. 

It lasts a split second but Kyungsoo thinks he can remember every detail about it, how soft Jongin's lips were, how much taller Jongin felt when he leaned in, how he couldn't breathe for a minute, but he thinks he'll remember Jongin's smile even longer. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Sometimes I feel like this is moving really fast and then i realize that it's only a kiss on the cheek lol oops.....This is just a fluff fest and personally I love it so I hope you guys did too!! 

Also, do you guys want me to show more of Baekhyun and Chanyeol's relationship in the upcoming chapters? I have a feeling you guys would like at least a little bit of their interactions so I might add some in :) 

 

THANK YOU FOR READING AND PLEASE COMMENT!!! IT'S WHAT REALLY MAKES ME HAPPY ILY

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lee-jinki12
shameless self promotion, but i just started a new (possibly) chaptered kaisoo fic as well!! check it out if you have time~~

Comments

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Kimboum #1
Chapter 17: Please please update it please ???????????????????????
The_Nesoi
#2
Chapter 13: This story deserves an Oscar. Too bad the writer won't update it :"(
_chanchan #3
/sigh/ I miss this fic :(
Kadi22
#4
Chapter 17: This is so amazing!!! Please keep updating!!! I haven't read a fanfic in a while that has made my heart clench.
zeemarley
#5
Chapter 17: aisssshhhh soo's father really a dangerous treat to them!!!!!! n im wonderingg how this story will go :'))))))))))))))))
kimjongina
#6
Chapter 17: That was really sweet
universal123
#7
Chapter 17: Poor kyungsoo he must felt so sad that his dad did not love him enough and he knows nothing about his mom....hopefully jongin family and their love will lighten kyungsoo's hurt and make him feel more loved!!
BrookieBag
#8
Chapter 17: This is so good!! I feel so bad for Kyungsoo, but I am so overjoyed at the thought of Jongin's parents caring enough to support both of them and their love. I don't think I could forgive Kyungsoo's father if I were Kyungsoo. That line, "He hates your family more than he loves me," absolutely killed me because I can feel how hard it is for Kyungsoo. I'm so sad, but I'm also so happy.
_chanchan #9
Chapter 17: I just really want to punch kyungsoo's dad in the face. HE BETTER NOT BE AT THE PARTY
k4is00
#10
Chapter 17: Clingy Jongin is so cute .. Ahhhhhhhh....... Don't cry kyungsoo-ah .. You are not alone now .. You have your Jongin besides you