Jongin's been quiet recently. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with his slip of the tongue last week, or if it's because he was paying attention to his sleeping schedule and we just had clashing time zones. Sometimes, when I got bored, I started to feel his absence.

Hana calls it "missing him". I call it "shut the hell up I only got used to tolerating him".

At one point, I hit my limit of boredom, and I started tapping into his dreams. It was harder than it seemed at first. I would have to concentrate hard not only to break in but also to stay in his dreamland. Also, none of it made sense to me. When I got better at staying in the dream, I found that he would dream about people I'd never seen in my life, so the emotional aspects of it flew right over my head. But if there was one thing I noticed, it was that in all of his dreams, he and I were still connected, telepathically.

It was interesting to hear myself from his point of view. I cringed sometimes at the lines his subconscious gave me, but often I would get ideas for things to say in real life. Sometimes, seeing someone would wash him over with so much emotion that I would feel the teensiest little bit of it. He and I (at least, the real me) were too disconnected to really feel each other like we do when we're awake.

On a particular Monday night, I was sneaking myself into bed early after a particularly hard set of math questions. I couldn't help but pang for the days when Jongin would help me with those tricky subjects. Just as I was going to shut my eyes and call it a night, I heard some buzzing.

My phone.

It was a notification to tell me Hana had added me to a group chat and I inwardly groaned. Group chats meant no peace. Whether it's in-chat drama, out-of-chat drama that leaks in, or just plain I'm-trying-to-sleep-but-my-phone-keeps-buzzing drama, group chats mean pain.

Especially if they have a certain blonde Thalia Donnahue in them.

[Hana <3]: 

Hey guys!!

[Devil Spawn]: 

Heyyy :D

[Hana<3]: 

sup?

[Devil Spawn]:

nm u?

[Hana <3]:

nm nm

just some exciting news

[Devil Spawn]:

exos getting back together as 12?

I laughed with a heavy heart.

[Hana <3]: 

*sigh* i wish, but no

it is about chanyeol though

[Devil Spawn]: 

OMG did he tell you an inside secret? When are they coming back? Do you know?

[Hana]:

No that's not it... ;)

btw theyre coming back in february

but anyway thats not the exciting news

where's Jenny? I want her to know too

[Devil Spawn]:

JENNY COME HERE SHE NEEDS TO TELL US SOMETHING AND THE CURIOSITY IS KILLING ME

I scoffed.

[Hana <3]:

Jennyyyyyyy please come here for the love of j key p l e a s e look i spelled it all out pleeeeaaaasssseeee

I rolled my eyes.

[Me]:

Only here for the love of j key but i was sleeping so make it snappy bc its not like i care about ur stupid chanyeol anyway

[Hana <3]:

why were you even sleeping at this hour. Its so early jenny wae

[Devil Spawn]: 

w/e shes here just tell us!!!!1

[Hana <3]:

drumroll please...

[Devil Spawn]:

*drumrolls the hell out of your bedroom window if you stall any longer*

Hana <3 is typing...

My phone turned off. I tried clicking the button on the side but no matter what, the screen stayed black. I had to admit, I was very disappointed. She'd built up so much hype around the piece of news.

I scrambled for my phone charger, but as I was about to plug my phone in, I remembered the cable stopped working yesterday. The only way I could charge my phone was in the stereo dock in the bathroom. Begrudgingly, I threw my legs out from under the blankets and practically threw myself into the washroom, phone first. As soon as the phone sat stably, I went back to my room to wait.

I tucked my knees up into my chest and stared at my wall, listening through it the conversation my parents were having.

"It's nice to see her be more interactive with the world now," Dad was saying. "She was always swimming somewhere in her thoughts."

"Yes. I don't know why, but she's been tuning out less and less these days. She feels more alive." Mom sighed contently.

"Maybe she's finally getting used to the prospect of graduating a year late."

"Maybe. Do you think maybe she just made some new friends? Maybe that's why she's breaking out of her shell."

I shook my head and rested my chin on my knees. Had I really been that deep in my thoughts? Was I really that focused on Jongin?

"Maybe she broke up with her boyfriend?" Mom suggested.

I coughed. What?

Dad was livid. "Jinhee has a boyfriend?!"

Good question, Dad.

"I mean, I don't have any proof or anything, but it's just the way she was acting versus how she's acting now. Isn't it strange?"

I groaned. Strange is one way to put it.

I heard buzzing again. I quickly ran to the bathroom and tried turning my phone on, but I was surprised to find that it was still not charged enough to be working.

The buzzing was still there, gradually getting louder, turning into a soft chatter, all cacophonous words in the same voice -- it could only mean one thing.

Jongin was back.

'Oh, geez, I think I accidentally made my sleeping habits worse.'

Jongin!

'Well good afternoon to you, too.'

I had no idea why I greeted him with such enthusiasm. In the rush of the moment, I was overcome with emotions unrelated to him that made me sound excited.

'You keep telling yourself that,' he said with a chuckle. 'Don't worry, I missed you too.'

I didn't miss you...

'Uh-huh. Mmhmm. Yep, of course. For sure,' he teased condescendingly, followed by hearty laughter.

I didn't! I insisted.

'So I could just never talk to you again and you'd be fine?'

The jackal knew I wouldn't be, that's why he asked. I was just too used to having him around.

Only because I'd need help with my math...

'How's that been going, by the way? Wow. To think I lived to see the day Jinhee does her own math problems herself...'

Okay, rude. I'm an independent, strong woman.

'Yes, strong. Undoubtedly a woman. Independent? Ha.'

my--

Buzzing came again, from outside of my head this time, interrupting the vulgar thought. My phone!

I ran out again to the bathroom and hurled myself to my phone, which was already getting the notifications I'd missed.

[Hana <3]:

so chanyeol and i were talking...

and the conversation turned to us, specifically about when we would see each other in person...

and then he asked me what we would be seeing each other as...

one thing led to another and he asked me that one special question...

[Devil Spawn]:

!!!!!!!!!

[Hana <3]:

HE ASKED ME TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND

of course, being smart and realistic, i took in factors like his public image, our distance, and just in general trying to play hard-to-get, i said no

[Devil Spawn]:

YOU DIDNT OMG NO I HATE YOUUUUUU POOR YEOLLIES HEART NOOOOOOOOOO D:<

[Hana <3]:

JUST KIDDING!!!!!

I was actually just trying to get a reaction out of jenny

where did she go?

[Devil Spawn]:

oh phew i thought you actually rejected him

idk maybe she like, fainted at the news or something

I was now caught up on the chat, eyes wide, not even sure if I was even breathing. Did you know about this?

'Not a freaking clue. I'm going to go call Chanyeol.'

You go do that.

[Me]:

when you say "just kidding" you're referring to the whole thing, right?

RIGHT???

[Hana <3]:

Oh look she's back

and no, he really did ask me out and i really did say yes

'Oh my God, it's true...' Jongin revealed. He was still on the phone with Hana's new boyfriend. I shuddered at the thought, and felt sick to the stomach.

[Me]:

i am about to puke oh my god i am never talking to you again youre gross and you have a disgusting disease and i cant believe you would betray me like this i swear to god i hate you so much why would you do this to me

[Hana <3]:

okay you can step down now. i get that you dont like them but that still doesnt give you the right to rain on my parade literally this is one of my happiest days. i finally found someone who loves me and youre just ruining my mood so much if anything i should be hating you but i respect peoples opinions and so i dont hate you

[Devil Spawn]:

honestly jenny what is wrong with you its one thing to hate me bc of josh and frankly, that was understandable. But this? Not at all.

'Josh? Who's that?' Jongin asked.

Not the time. Not right now, I replied.

First of all, I didn't even realize she remembered that that was the reason I hated her in the first place. I had figured she hadn't even known that it had affected me at all. Also, I hadn't even realized she knew I hated her. Sure, I never did anything to hide the fact, but I always thought that she thought that I was joking. And she was always so kind to me...

[Me]:

im sorry. I didnt think my words through i really am sorry.

[Hana <3]:

hahaha dont even worry about it that was the exact reaction i wanted from you. Im actually surprised you apologized. You-know-who is turning you into a real softy ;)

[Me]:

i h8 u

[Hana <3]:

0:-)

[Me]:

if there was a middle finger emoji i would so send it to you rn

[Devil Spawn]:

who's you-know-who?

[Hana <3]:

Jenny knows who. Dont worry about it.

[Me]:

Never don't mind about a thing

[Devil Spawn]:

what

[Hana <3]:

what

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