-;-

My dearest,

This is the day that I have longed for someone to finally own me. This is the time were all my dreams will all be fulfilled. This time has finally come. The time were you and I will finally have each other. The time were I would finally own you and you will have me. The time were you will realize that there was no longer a “me” but “us”. 

This is our time.

A time only dedicated for the two of us. A time were we are the center of the world. Were you would look at me with those dashing eyes of yours as if I’m the only person you’re seeing and as if I’m the only person that matters. 

Our time.

But I’m sorry, my love, for this time what I’m talking about would never happen. I have to leave for my heart needs to sort out a few things. I never deserve you since you are too considerate of me and I don’t want to abuse your kindness.

But in return, I will always remember you and I will never forget the times I have shared with you. I don’t have the right to tell you that I wish for your happiness because I was the one to shatter your dreams with me for our future.

So, this is all I could say.

Goodbye, my love.

Goodbye.

May you live a happy life with the people around you.

I love you.

-;-

Jongwoon sighed upon reading the letter of the main protagonist of the story he was reading. Now how will he be able to explain this when it was not stated what the girl—or the boy?—was talking about. What kind of time was that? And firstly, what kind of writer would write such poetry without further describing the scenario on his story? Sure it was stated that it was the girl’s most awaited time but really, why would she give up the time she was waiting for for like forever just for that stupid “sort out” thing?

My heart needs to sort out a few things.

So what? She could have sort that thing out and at the same time, fulfill her dreams, very easy, right?

He tried reading the poetry again only to get nothing and he was getting impatient. Ten minutes more and the teacher would ask them to finally read their reactions on the letter from an anonymous writer. 

No wonder he dislikes English. Everything tends to get cheesy and melodramatic and that’s what he hates the most. He was raised as a very tough person because his mother and younger brother depend on him. They need his strength and determination to survive the tempests of life. 

Seven minutes left.

“Jongwoon, don’t you think that this literary piece is heartwarming?” his best friend, Kim Ryewook, said to him when their English teacher isn’t looking their way. “It’s sad that she has to leave him after realizing that it wasn’t yet their time to be together.”

Jongwoon smiled at him and focused his eyes on the literary piece in front of him. “Is that what you think? I kind of think that I don’t understand the meaning behind this letter. All I know is that the lady here is bidding farewell.”

Ryewook frowned at him. “How come you didn’t get it? It was clearly stated that she run away from her own wedding after learning that she wouldn’t be happy with him because there are things for her to still finish.”

“Uh—what?”

From his left, Zhou Mi cut in. “Jongwoon doesn’t have any experience about relationships that’s why he wasn’t in to the letter.”

Casually, Jongwoon shrugged and went back to reading again his letter. He glanced at the clean sheet of paper in front of him and re-read the letter again. And once again, he understood nothing.

His reaction was merely nothing. Because all in all, he doesn’t have any idea on what he was reading at all. 

She loves him, period. But she has to do something else, period. What else should he say? Aside from writing his reactions to the letter, what else should he add since the teacher also instructed them to complete the letter since for the teacher herself, she thinks that the letter is incomplete.

There was something more that the girl in the letter wants to say, wants to explain.

He exhaled impatiently and massaged his temples. He has been reading this letter for the last twenty minutes of the beginning of this subject and he’s getting all nuts. How could he appreciate this literary piece when he couldn’t even understand it in the first place?

Five minutes.

“Kyuhyun-ssi, you’re late again.”

His head automatically snapped up at the sight of the guy he was secretly admiring, the first guy who keeps on making his heart beat faster and faster every time he’d see him.

Cho Kyuhyun occupied the desk just in front of him and grabbed his book from under his desk before turning to him.

“Jongwoon, what page is that?”

His voice was melody to him that it took him every ounce of willpower to snap out of his fantasy and answers his question. “It’s in page 102, line 3.”

“Thanks.”

He whispered to him with such tenderness that he almost wanted to cry because he averted his gaze away from him but he couldn’t bear to be possessive. He wasn’t that kind of person. As long as it’s possible, he’d give him the freedom he wants even if it would hurt him. Because ever since he forced Kyuhyun to not leave for England, he became disturbingly quiet and even more kind to Jongwoon.

At first he thought it was the guilt card but he was wrong. It was the real Cho Kyuhyun he was interacting with everyday and somehow, it pains Jongwoon to see him like that. He needs to leave to sort out his life but he didn’t give him that chance.

Jongwoon was selfish. He doesn’t deserve Kyuhyun. 

He gripped his pen tightly as a sudden flare of rage appeared on his heart. 

He needs to leave to sort out a few things on his life.

According to the letter, she didn’t tell him to wait for her. Alls he said was goodbye and that she loves him. Period. That was all for her to say, right? What else could there be? She needs to leave and she doesn’t require him to wait for her.

Jongwoon absentmindedly scribbled the things on his mind and eventually finished it with the few time allotted to him. He even managed to fill half of the paper and when the teacher asks them to put down their pens, he still hadn’t stop writing. He needs to say this. He needs to decode his words through this reaction paper they are asked to do. He needs to tell him his feelings.

He needs to let him go.

And wait for him even though he didn’t ask him to do it.

“Jongwoon-ssi, I said stop writing.”

But he refused to listen. It was only then that Kyuhyun—which is in front of him—grabbed his wrist and smiled at him.

“Jongwoon-ah.” He murmured ever so lightly. “Stop.”

Jongwoon straightened up his back and without thinking; he stood up and handed his paper to the teacher. “I’m sorry, please excuse me for awhile. I don’t feel so good, I’m going to the infirmary, ma’am.”

Without further ado, Jongwoon rushed out of the room and run towards the only place he could find peace, the rooftop. He stayed there hidden until he finally heard the bell for the third subject to the last rang. 

He needs to leave. He needs to leave him.

He doesn’t have to wait for Kyuhyun since he didn’t ask for it either. 

And lastly, he has to let go.

Jongwoon has to let go of Kyuhyun.

The wind blew so hard if possible; he would want to be taken away too. Until he heard his sad voice.

 “Jongwoon, what’s the problem?” Kyuhyun sat beside him and plopped his head on his shoulders. And despite the anger, he still couldn’t shrug him off for fear that he’d be hurt and for fear that he will be the one to hurt him. Again.

Kyuhyun sighed and at the same time grinned because he knew that he was going to win the first round. His dear Jongwoon didn’t shrug him off. “Jongwoonie, hey, speak to me.”

There was a short pause before he finally responded to his plea. Jongwoon turned to him with those readable eyes that convey pure pain and suffering before sighing. “Kyuhyun-ah, I want you to leave for England as soon as possible. If the time would allow, I want you to leave tomorrow early in the morning.”

Jongwoon’s eyes didn’t waver upon seeing the expression of hurt and surprise on Kyuhyun’s eyes. He was surprise, Jongwoon wonders why?

When Kyuhyun didn’t spoke, he continued again. “You need to leave, Kyuhyun. You need to sort out and organized your life. And it’d be better for me if I wouldn’t be able to see you.”

There was no response coming from him and somehow, it had pained Jongwoon. It pains him to see his hurt expression. More so, it pains him to see Kyuhyun reacting like that because of him.

He looked at Jongwoon with those unfathomable eyes that says nothing before responding. “I have your reaction paper during Literature’s time.”

He froze at that. “Uh—what?”

Ignoring what he said, Kyuhyun revealed the still smooth paper and began reading it in front of him.

My dearest,

I’m afraid that I have to allow you to leave for it was indeed the time for you to face the obstacles on your life alone. You have to go, my love, and I have to set you free. You have to take this chance to be with your real family and experience the love you’ve always longed for that even I couldn’t fill.

Goodbye, my love, my dearest and my one. I will never forget the times we have spent together and I promise that even if you hadn’t asked me to wait for you; you know that I still do. 

That I will still do.

This unrequitable love, my dear, shall never end for it will always be present in my heart until our forever ends.

Goodbye, may you find joy on your life and I hope you won’t forget me. 

Leave and if possible, never come back.

Kyuhyun grinned at Jongwoon and sighed. He pulled him up and gently squeezed his palms. “I’m leaving for England tomorrow, Jongwoonie.”

That and he started to walk away.

It took every ounce of Jongwoon’s will and strength to not run after him and stop him because he knew that he would just end up being selfish again. 

The air blew so hard he wish he’d be taken by it. 

Until he found that piece of paper on the pocket of his uniform. His forehead creased as slowly, he unfolded the paper and read the contents of the paper which made his eyes rounded even more.

Kim Jongwoon,

Wait for me because our forever will never end.

Kyuhyun.

Slowly, he realized what was the other thing the one who writes the letter still wants to convey. It was the fact that even though left unsaid, she still wants him to wait for her. She wants him to take the initiative. 

She wants him to wait for her because indeed, their forever is eternal.

Endless.

Like his faith and love for him.