A/N: A little piece from my story ‘Cause they could see us. And since it could stand alone, I placed it here. Enjoy reading guys. :) 

It was hard, actually. Having this disease, I mean. 

One minute you could remember everything and the next you won’t. It’s like being played by life, itself. But you couldn’t do anything because all there’s left for you is to accept it all blindly. 

I’m actually sorry for Kyuhyun because he believes that his other half is me and I’m not really a good catch. There will be moment where I couldn’t even utter his name without searching my brain for a whole minute or two. Sometimes, when I had it really bad, he would even remind me his own name. I pity him, I pity him so much. I keep on reminding myself, knocking my head with his name.

Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun.

What’s so hard about it for me not to memorize? Sometimes I couldn’t even tell if I already forgot that I have forgotten about something. And I couldn’t ask Kyuhyun because it would only add up to his list of worry. How I wish I was indeed the answer to all his prayer, but, I’m just not.

That’s why last night, as I sit with him on the dining table, I asked to be put under an institution that could look out for me better. But as we ended our conversation about it, I wish I didn’t tell him what’s on my mind. He was so heartbroken that all I could do is to lower down my gaze and avoid looking at him. Kyuhyun is my other half. At least I’m sure about it for my part. I’d die sooner and I know that until that day comes, I will still be with him. But after that, I don’t know what he will do.

I looked around the place and frowned upon realizing that I don’t exactly know where I was. I turn towards the guy who was silently sitting beside me, eyes forward towards the road as he maneuver the steering wheel, to ask. “Kyuhyun, where are we?”

Without looking away from the road he spoke with a smile painting his beautiful lips, “we’re at the intersection of the main road and towards the institution.” I knew that tone. Over the time that I’m with him, I learn how to observe him. And the tone that he used to me only speaks that that was not the first time that I’ve asked him about the direction. 

It was kind, yes, but it was too familiar. As if he knew that once I looked back at him I would asked that question.

“Are you hungry? Maybe you want me to pull over so that you could eat something.” He suggested.

I shook my head. I want to keep this memory. Just the two of us. He nodded as his response and I know that he understood what I mean.

When I went on one of my check-ups with Kyuhyun, there is something that the doctor had said that really commits into my memory. Supposedly, I shouldn’t have heard this but what can I do? I was very curious. Anyway, the doctor told Kyuhyun that this disease is actually the cure of its own. 

At first I wasn’t able to understand the meaning of it as well. But as it was being explained to Kyuhyun, I slowly came to realize that that was, indeed, the case. For someone who was suffering from this disease, there will come a time that you will not remember anything. Even those that you forgot, you’ll forget that you have forgotten them. I don’t know how it will work because fortunately I wasn’t on that stage yet but one thing’s definite, I will surely be there. 

So it was a cure as well. That’s interesting, at first. Where can you find a disease that could cure itself as well? But as it all sink to me; it would still work as a disease in the end but this time, a disease to those people surrounding the person who was really suffering from it. They will be forgotten. They will be treated as if they didn’t exist in the first place. And I fear that Kyuhyun will be one of them sooner.

I looked up at the tall building in front of us as Kyuhyun parked the car on its proper place. My home until the day I die.

“We’re here.” I heard him announces. I fixed my gaze at his smiling face. His smile that didn’t reach his eyes, not anymore.

I nodded. “Yes.” I whispered.

When out, I tried talking to him, saying that there’s no need for him to go with me inside; that I could definitely check myself in but as usual, he didn’t listen.

Giving up, I walked forward, without waiting for him, bringing my things with me. I know that he noticed it already. But I couldn’t wait for him anymore. He should get used to it; it’s for him that’s why I’m doing this. It is the only thing that I could do.

After checking myself in with Kyuhyun standing behind me, I picked my bag up and turned to look at him in the face. “So, this is it.” I said enthusiastically with a smile brightly painting my face. “We have to part here.”

But he was glancing at me with face voided of expression. He was staring intently at me and I suddenly become conscious of myself. 

“Jongwoon –“

“Anyway, you have to go.” I glanced down at my wristwatch before looking up to him. “It’s late and you still have board meetings ahead, right?”

No answer. He was now glaring at me.

I settled then into pushing him away from me and towards the exit of the institution. “Go now. Just visit me whenever you have free time.” But he won’t budge. I tried pushing him a little harder this time but he still wouldn’t move. “Please, don’t make it harder for me.” I whispered. I felt him froze and when I tried pushing him once again, this time, he let the force take him.

I smiled. “Drive safely.” I added.

“I love you.”

I nodded. “I love you, too.” I watched him walked away from me. I know I’m being selfish. He went through a lot so that we could be together and what I only did in the end was to push him away. I know that sooner or later, I will regret all this. I wanted to stay beside him but I couldn’t do that. He needs to be ready. And if I don’t this, when will he going to start fixing his life, adjusting, erasing the space he made for me?

I don’t know what to do now that he’s gone. I’m afraid of what will become of me; I’m scared of what will happen soon. But knowing that at least I get to help Kyuhyun into moving on even just a little bit calm me down. 

I watched him walked away and in return, I got scared because without him I don’t really know what to do but in the very end, I smiled.

Because the ride that I took with him was all worthwhile.