It was still the dead of winter, but a new year. After all the celebrations, Hyebin had headed to her own home, where her parents and older brother were. It was not the warmest of reunions, but it was something she was able to deal with. Her father was always a distant figure, especially after her parents had filed for divorce. They were both successful in their professions, him a lawyer, her mother a doctor. He was only there, as he claimed, to give her advice for high school. It just translated into giving her a harder time at home. Her mother was the one that gave her a warm childhood, but it was soon lost after the divorce. It was obvious that her parents did not get along, and it was happier for the two of them to split, but it meant more hours for her mother at the hospital, resulting in a distant and only pressuring relationship.

Her brother was a different story. Older by three years, Yongguk had been treated much differently. Their parents had put much effort into setting him up for success, but it was only a matter of time before it was blatantly obvious how his only love and talent lied in composing music. He didn’t care for the expensive tutors, nor the fancy schools: music was his life. Their parents did not support this idea, nor did they find it remotely amusing. However, no matter how much they fought, it did not work. By the time he got into high school, their father blamed their mother for Yongguk’s headstrong personality, and she blamed him for having more appreciation for the liberal arts than she had, insisting it was his influence. They divorced, and Yongguk was left alone with the title of a failure of the family. Then the attention was to her, and Yongguk only had the built up anger of his childhood to release on her for her obedience and academic successes.

The reunion was just Hyebin staying in her room, doing homework, while Yongguk stayed in his room composing. He had already been recruited by several famous companies for his work, and it was evident that they wanted a passionate young composer who could offer many years of work to them. He finally went with YG Entertainment, and Hyebin remembered begging him for the autographs of Big Bang and Epik High, which he bluntly had refused at first, before dropping it off on her birthday at Youjung’s apartment. Her father was giving her mother an anxiety attack, while her mother was reprimanding Hyebin through the walls and the door for her grades and the increase of socialness in her lifestyle after moving into Youjung’s older sister’s.

Maybe before high school began, she would have been able to nod and apologize. Maybe she would have been more patient, more understanding. But looking back at her short visit to her home, Hyebin found herself easily frustrated and annoyed by what her parents were doing. Her own brother, who seemed to push her more than anyone else indirectly, was too busy to have their first sibling talk in what seemed to be a year. It was as though a huge burden was taken away from her shoulders as she walked out of the door and to Youjung’s sister’s car.

Hyebin twirled a strand of hair around her index finger, letting a hardly audible sigh escape her lips at the thought of her visit. She leaned back, her back enjoying the cool feeling from the mirror walls. Her hand wiped a bead of sweat on her face, before she forced herself to get up. She was at a place that was all too familiar to her; the gym. She practically had a time where she would live there to throw all her stress from family and school into something that would be somewhat rewarding. Today was one of those days where she decided to throw every thought away and just take it all out.

And she definitely did that. An hour running on the treadmill, blasting music obnoxiously loud to drown everything out, and letting herself just fall into the rhythm of the pace. Now she was stretching, as well as doing simple workout routines like leg lifts and planks. The pain just took her mind off, and the after workout burn made her feel like she accomplished something. The thought of her own past before high school made a small chuckle bubble at her lips.

Hyebin was never effortlessly glamorous; other girls had superior genes with fast metabolisms, pretty faces, and perfect hair. Hyebin had a slow metabolism that resulted in struggling to find the best diet and exercise plan, an average face that had been prone to acne since she was age nine, and hair so thick that it was a pain to even think about. She had put so much effort into looking the part of a girl who would be worth even five minutes of anyones time that it became her second most time investing factor, right after her studies. Recently, it became less of a visualistic deal for her. Instead, it was all about Junhoe.

Until that day, Hyebin had only had one past love, a past boyfriend, and someone that had driven her insane. But it was never as bad as Junhoe. Her past with Jung Chanwoo, the sweetest boy of her middle school, was over. They had been a thing since their childhood, but after always being placed second to her studies, he couldn’t take being in a relationship with a girl who seemed more imaginary than real in his life. He liked her, yes, but how much could a fourteen year old deal with a girl who was quiet to begin with, only to realize that she seemed to spend more time trapped in a room with towers of books than on those childish dates others in their grade seemed to go on? Chanwoo was her first crush, and she cherished every memory she had with him, but he was also a lesson to live a little more. He went his own way to one of the best boarding schools in Korea to pursue his love of acting, and she had no doubt that the next time she saw him would be on screen.

But Junhoe was another story. He was her future and her present, not a past to move on from. And yet, not even that far into the new year, it already felt aggravatingly tiring. She couldn’t help but remember the day after her birthday, the day when her more than daily stops to the gym started. She had woken up, and stretched- Hyebin made it a habit in the hopes of growing a little taller- before checking her phone. She opened her messages, smiling at the notifications she received between their group Kakaotalk, as well as Instagram notifications from a picture of a birthday and New Years post. She had been born on New Years, and it made her feel special that a new year indeed started with a new age for her. But it seemed different as she noticed on Instagram a certain photo. Junhoe had posted it, and it was him hugging Jisoo with the fireworks giving a colorful lighting. ‘My train came 1/1, and I’m lucky to be hers in the new year.’

Hyebin remembered throwing her phone carelessly onto her bed, and curling up on the large and overstuffed bean bag chair. If it had been another girl, it would have been a shock, but she was slowly waiting for Junhoe to admit their relationship. While it was no surprise that they finally became official, it felt as though someone were pressing boulders onto her chest. It was a pain to breath, and Hyebin realized she could not be upset- no, she should not be upset. Junhoe was happy with Jisoo, and even at this immature age she knew it was best to let him be so. In addition, she could not dislike Jisoo when the girl was so friendly and respectable as a person.

It took an hour for her to regain her composition; luckily, no one else was at the apartment. Youjung’s sister, Yousun, was always out working at a nearby hospital, while Youjung was on another date with B.I. Or, as she stated quite flustered, “not a date, but a friendly hangout.” Soorim was busy with other things, and she also was living on the other side of Gangnam where Jisoo and Junhoe were. Junhoe. That name just gave her another headache.

Hyebin found herself rolling about restlessly in her bean bag.What could she do? Was she still allowed to text Junhoe as comfortably as before, or should she be more careful now that he was taken officially? To her, while it was not news that was out of the blue, it still felt like a punch in the face. She had been leading herself on so carelessly to even hold onto hope for her and Junhoe to happen! It put her on agony as she remembered, yet again, how weak she was just for a guy. It was almost as though that wall she put up after her breakup with Chanwoo was crumbling down all too easily for a guy who had no intentions of helping her when she was in her fragilest state.

    Hyebin jumped a little from her spot as she heard a familiar ring tone coming from her phone, which was lying on her bed. Sighing, she forced herself to get up and reach for it. She glanced at the screen, and took a deep breath before debating to answer. Would she let it happen now, when it felt too soon, or later, where it was still bound to hit her like a train? She seemed to answer for herself as she felt her fingers let the device slip through and hit the bed again. Hyebin flopped next to it lifelessly, her eyes staring at the flashing screen. Koo Junhoe.

    The room fell silent again, and Hyebin felt lifeless. Before she was restlessly moving about, but after the endless ringing, she felt empty. Her eyebrows furrowed as the phone began to ring again, the screen once again lighting up vividly. She sighed heavily, reaching for it. It felt too heavy in her hands, and she hesitated, before forcing herself to pick up.

    “Yoboseyo?” Her voice sounded natural and chirpy as usual, but her eyes were carrying a dead expression. She felt nervous and anxious- could he tell she was not happy, and she was forcing it?

    “Saengil chukka hamnida! I can’t believe you’re finally fifteen. I was the first to send a message last night, right?” His voice sounded so cheery, it was almost a first. She missed it so much, despite only being a few days since their last meeting. Of course, he had kept his promise of sending a message, much to her delight. Too bad she had not realized that this joy would be such short lived after she woke up to see that he was officially taken.

    “Of course you were. Did you make a wish last night? It was the last of the year,” Hyebin emphasized. She had pestered him endlessly about making a wish on December 31st, and despite his acting annoyed, she knew he always obeyed her. They were, after all, just about best friends for a reason.

    “I’m hurt you even doubted me! It came true too- did you hear?” It was all too soon to talk about it, but Hyebin was prepared. It hurt to hear that his wishes had been about him and Jisoo, but if her were about him, then it was only fair. A tear came stinging to her eyes, but Hyebin held it back. No point in crying over someone who was not even hers.

    “I did. Congratulations. I knew you liked her- I’m mad you never admitted it,”  Hyebin said in a whiny tone- and maybe there was truth behind her words. No matter how many times she had asked previously, he always somehow got out of answering. Whether it be by excusing himself, or by distraction, he got out of it. Although, his actions spoke for themselves; more than once, he had left school as soon as possible to go to Jisoo.

    “Gomawo. I’m so glad you have us your blessing right now. It means a lot. Oh, and how could I say when I didn’t want my two favorite ladies to fight over this hot mess right here.” Hyebin could totally imagine Junhoe, with his signature lopsided smile, saying these words. It comforted her to know that at least she was one of his favorite girls, despite it being undeniably devastating to her in the moment for being his favorite girl as a best friend, and not a girlfriend like Jisoo.

    “Aigoo, you arrogant toad. You better treat Jisoo well.” She nagged playfully. Hyebin almost felt as though she could audition for YG or SM; her acting skills seemed to be on par with even Jun Jihyun or some other actress. She could hear an undistinguishable sound on the other side of the line, and then a groan.

    “Oh gosh, I’m starving and someone just ate Chinese food in here before.” She stifled a giggle, before a smile bloomed on her face. “Can you buy food and come to the studio? I promise I’ll treat you to a birthday meal after- don’t worry, I got you covered, Shorty.” Needless to say, at the time, no matter how crappy she felt, Junhoe’s little promise seemed to make her feel better. But it was only temporary.

    Here she was now, only a little into her fifteenth year of life, taking every emotion out at the gym. She tried to give herself some peace, a chance for closure perhaps. She already sorted out a vast amount of thoughts: she would still like Junhoe, but would obviously not pursue it. She would have to get used to not being first in his priorities, and she should probably spend more time with others than with him. Only the other day, she had experienced it. Junhoe and she had been at the cafe like any other afternoon, her trying to finish a paper that was cutting close to the deadline, and him typing away at his phone, a ridiculously goofy smile on his face. It was obviously the work of Jisoo.

    “Is it okay if I leave a little early today?” Junhoe asked out of the blue. He had only promised not even what seemed to be half an hour prior to help keep her alert while she tried to move through a mountain of assignments he did not even dare to touch himself. She looked up, confusion in her expression as she caught his gaze. He did not even look remotely guilty, but rather excited.

    “Is something happening?” Hyebin asked, and she clicked the ‘send’ button to hand in her paper digitally. She looked up, before seeing a face she had not in a while. The cafe was always a place for Hyebin; she sorted her thoughts out here on a daily basis, and did most of her work here. When she needed to pick up her mood, she knew after school she could simply send a message to Junhoe, who lived with the boys in a nearby penthouse to make transportation to school easier, and she knew for fact he would arrive no later than ten minutes, out of breath from his jog. And yet, it felt almost like an intrusion of privacy when Jisoo walked in with her radiant smile, her eyes fixated lovingly on Junhoe.

    “Oppa! Let’s go. Oh, annyeoung Hyebin-ah! How are you?” Jisoo said in her bright way. Junhoe glanced at Hyebin, trying to get a nod of permission. How could Hyebin not give in? She smiled to Jisoo, who was admittedly a good unnie- like figure, and nodded.

    “I’m doing well. You two lovebirds have fun. Don’t get too crazy, you have the next three years of high school to be more loveydovey.” She had said. But now that it was a full 24 hours later, the pain was still in her. Hyebin felt herself sigh, before pushing herself off of the wooden gym floor. Perhaps another one minute plank would help her clear her mind of the unrequited love.

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a/n

Hello again to my lovely readers! I decided to do a quick update (it's rather short). I've been reading all of your comments, and I'm so grateful for each of them. I love how you guys aren't silent readers, but for those of you who are, please do leave a little comment or an upvote because I really do appreciate them. Now, back to the story: yes, I'm sorry, but I just had to. This happens; you like a guy, you feel like it's working out, but it takes a huge turn for the worse and he ends up going out with another girl. It happens, and it , but no hate on Jisoo ;) Hyebin is just about done with her first year, and I sped up this on purpose because there isn't much a first year can do in high school while dating. I think most of this story is going to be around the last two years, and after graduation. I love all of you, so please continue to comment, subscribe, and read on. Enjoy until I update again <3