Four

11:11

Fast forward in their first year, and soon Hyebin found herself in her own little hell week with more exams than days of school in her week. Her daily schedule transcended from the typical classes to spending even the smallest moments before the class lecture would begin to review notes. It was almost pathetic how much of a struggle the life was. Behind the scenes were no better; between becoming knocked out the moment she hit her bed, her mother sent many long messages of disapproval to her less than 4.0 GPA. While she understood her 3.6 was definitely not what was acceptable, she could not care less at the time from the fact that she was indeed trying her best.

    A trophy to be won. That’s what she felt like. While she agreed that her own extended family pulled many great achievements- all of her cousins who were much older were all either in medical school or already doctors- she did not understand why her mother was so desperate to be like her aunts, who were overly proud of their children. It was almost as though she knew that the eldest of her own family, Hyebin’s older brother, was not anything to be proud of particularly. This just raised the standards in her own life.

    “Don’t even think about sleeping if you aren’t finished with your studies. And skip meals if you have to. In the end, if there isn’t an M.D. in your signature, you truly are a failure,” her mother had once said. It was a blow to her self esteem, and even while staying with Youjung, it felt like a nightmare every time the caller I.D said ‘Mother,’ on it. Her nights were less in her room at Youjung’s penthouse, and more at the cafe. She often could see the sunrise, as she pulled too many nights with only mugs of coffee by her side, and no actual human company.

    “It’s not even healthy for you to be not sleeping,” Junhoe pointed out to her. The two were sitting in the all so familiar cafe- he ran into her once in her common afternoon study times there. It became a thing for the two to sit in tables next to each other, with papers and books scattered about, and spending time in silence. The only difference was that while Hyebin found herself completing assignment after assignment, Junhoe was often watching choreography videos or playing computer games. Today was just another day when he noticed her nearly slam her forehead into the wooden table as she temporarily fell asleep. She shook her head, turning back to her neat stack of papers.

    “I can’t just let my guard down. This week is important. Shouldn’t you be trying a little more?” He shrugged coolly, obviously showing that no, he would not put in more effort. He was most likely the only student in their year that was so relaxed within their academy. The competition within medical academy was brutal, and it was as if he were too thick headed to notice.

    “At the end of the week there’s the Autumn Dance. I’m just waiting to party,” Junhoe said, before taking a sip of his drink. Hyebin sighed at the thought of the late summer coming to an end. Of course he would be like that. In the whole half a year of them becoming closer friends, the only thing she noticed was his ability to not give a single crap about anything academic wise, but for him to instead enjoy his dancing and his fun time. She almost envied him.

    “That’s a little far from now. We have a lot of stuff between then and now,” she reminded him, but he just waved it away with his hand, as if to shoo away all of her concerns. What a free spirit he was!

    “You need to learn how to relax a little. Even Youjung and Soorim are enjoying themselves a little. Shouldn’t you be too?” He asked, his eyes looking into hers. She felt a little uncomfortable with the sudden level of attention directed to her.

    “I am by going to the Autumn Dance. Remember? We’re dates,” she said with an indifferent tone. She couldn’t help but almost choke on her bubble tea as she remembered how it all went down. There was a group Kakaotalk chat, with her close friends consisting of iKON, who she had grown very fond of, Soorim and Youjung, as well as Jinhyeong. They had been discussing the topic of dates, and going with others, and Soorim had made the suggestion of Hyebin and Junhoe going together to “keep the ship sailing”. Of course, Hyebin was against it at the time- she didn’t even know if she wanted to go, and it was a long night of studying ahead of her for a biology test the next day, but Junhoe had beat her to replying with a simple “sure,”.

    “How could I ever forget? I granted a peasant with the privilege of being my date,” he said with a smirk. She rolled her eyes, resisting the urge to hit him. She could already tell it would probably not be the most enjoyable of nights.

    “Sad you aren’t going with another girl?” She said it as a joke, but she knew there was a probable, and truthful, yes. Yes, he probably did want to go with another girl. It was no secret- within a school like the Academies of Seoul, where students came from all over in the areas of Seoul and different districts and schools, they all had separate friends originally. And Junhoe was famous for being close to one in particular- a girl by the name of Jisoo.

    “Definitely. I’m sure that it’ll be a fun time,” he said, not missing a beat. He had that effect- he was too carefree. Even if he were involved with Jisoo, which she was sure he was, he had still agreed to go officially with Hyebin as dates. Everyone in the school had been in a buzz about the topic too: Why had Junhoe agreed to go with Hyebin when he was supposedly dating Jisoo from his own original school district? Did he do it out of kindness, or did he actually like Hyebin more? The most recent topic was about how Jisoo and Hyebin had a striking resemblance to each other. Did Junhoe just have a thing for both girls for looking alike?

    “I heard Jisoo was coming because she was someone’s guest,” Hyebin said carefully. Underneath her words was a horrible monster of green: jealousy. Yes, Hyebin was jealous of Jisoo. In the span of half a year, Hyebin found herself growing fond of the tall and cocky boy, and the fact that there was a girl who knew him for a much longer time, and was closer to him, made her feel terribly jealous. As she realized before, she hated how a boy could make her feel so weak and mess up her goals of being perfect by so much.

    “She is indeed coming. I hope you ladies don’t fight over me,” Junhoe said, not even looking up from his laptop screen. He didn’t see the flash of bitterness on Hyebin’s face, nor did he realize the inner chaos in her mind. How could she begin to like him, a boy who was so caught up in himself, to not even cast a single considerate thought of her own emotions?

    “Do you like her?” He stopped typing into the screen. The flashes of whatever computer game he was playing continued to light his features on his face, and he didn’t even seem to notice that he was most likely losing at the moment. There was a small tension building in a bubble around their corner of the cafe- everywhere else was still teeming with life and noise as joyous customers came and went with their purchases.    

    “Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.” The indecisiveness agonized her even more. Why was it that he could never just give her a straight answer? Maybe it was just his playful nature, and how he enjoyed to tease a little before giving in. Or maybe it was that he really did like Jisoo. She was quite the girl; popular, friendly, and uncomfortably close to Junhoe. There were many rumors of seeing the two on dates around Seoul, whether it be strolling around and holding hands, or eating out at popular restaurants. And every time another story reached her ears, Hyebin would outwardly brush it off with a smile and a, “is that so?” but feel the green monster only grow larger in the pit of her stomach. But what could she do- if he liked her, and she made him happy, she might as well let it be.

    “Whatever- oh, hang on. Jinhyeong is calling me. Yoboseyo?” Hyebin picked up her phone, a smile lighting her features as she saw that it was Jinhyeong. The two grew unbelievably friendly within the few months- he was truly someone she felt close to. While many students seemed curious if she chose Jinhyeong or Junhoe, she only saw Jinhyeong as that close guy friend she always wanted.

    Hey, it’s Jinhyeong. What’s up?” His voice sounded a little odd and distorted over the phone, but she didn’t mind. She propped her elbows onto the table, and rested her chin on her hand, the other holding onto her phone.

    “Nothing much. Studying again. I envy you business academy kids sometimes. It must be relaxing,” she said with a sigh. She could hear his light chuckle over the line, and she could imagine his eyes in the crescent shapes they always were when he smiled. He easily had one of the nicest smiles.

    Oh please, it’s harder than you think to be a businessman. Anyways, you have free time? Want to hang out?” She bit her lower lip. It was definitely tempting to escape from her studies, as well as the headache she got from being with Junhoe when she felt as though she were going to always be second place to Jisoo, who she never even met in person. But at the same time, she needed to do well- her grades seemed to be resting on these next few days. And at the same time, the headache was only because of the little green monster; otherwise, she found herself enjoying the time spent together.

    “Hang out? Sorry Jinhyeong-ah, I can’t. I’d really love to, but I have to keep studying,” she said with a tired sigh.

    It’s fine, I understand. I’ll go ask Bobby hyung or something. Take it easy, okay?” She bid her friend farewell, before putting her back face down onto the table. She felt down from how exhausting this whole academics craze was. She could feel it taking a toll on her. Besides her, Junhoe was clicking his tongue in a disapproving manner.

    “Do you like him?” He asked, mimicing her own question she had asked just before. If only he knew even half of it! Hyebin didn’t know how to respond. Should she take the opportunity to confess to him? She knew many girls already had told him, and he would turn them down, although rather kindly, especially for his airhead-like ways. But then again, she could not give him the satisfaction of knowing she liked him as well- not now, not ever. She would certainly never hear the end of it, especially by showing her weak side.

    “Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.” She ended up saying as she began to work on her chemistry studies. To her, it was interesting but not something that came to her naturally. To even get in the 80s for an exam, she needed to take a few hours out of her day to review and practice balancing equations and whatnot. There had been more than a few afternoons where she would be scribbling away in the cafe, while Junhoe would be sleeping in the late afternoon sunlight not too far away, headphones in his ears, and looking peaceful.

    “Playing this game with me? Such a little kid,” he said, shaking his head in mock disapproval. “This is why you always make me make those wishes at 11:11 pm, isn’t it?” She couldn’t help but smile at all the times she could remember forcing him to make a wish with her. She didn’t care what he wished for, but it was just the childlike innocent joy of watching him do something as personal as this with her. Even sharing their afternoons in a comfortable silence at her favorite cafe until the stars came out and the street lights illuminated at night made her feel happy. He  made her happy.

    “Maybe I am a little child. You have to deal with me for the next few years to come,” she sang in a little tune. He pretended to shiver out of horror, making her playfully shove him. “You’re so mean sometimes, you know that?”

    “Only sometimes? Man, I better pick up my game,” he said in a joking tone. She rolled her eyes at him, and he stuck his tongue out. To think that they were already in high school! They both had the mindset of chodings, and it certainly showed at times like these. “Oh shoot. I have to go. I’ll see you later, ok?” He packed up his things haphazardly, and made a beeline for the exit. She watched his retreating figure. To think of how her year would be so far without him!

    “Is he perfect to you?” Hyebin looked up, her eyes wide as she faced the granny that owned the cafe. She had seen the playful exchanges that had taken place, and it made sense to her that this had all occurred in such a way. The secret glances, the innocent banter, the soft laughters in the warm spring and summer. Her question only made Hyebin recall her question to Granny- it all felt so long ago to her.

    “He’s perfect when you turn a blind eye to him, and just face the opposite direction,” Hyebin said with a smile. It was easy to brush it off as just something like a growing friendship. She was aware that Granny knew what had blossomed between her and him.

    “Oh, I’m sure he is. I have to close a little early. Can I trust you to close the shop door when you’re done here? The store already has the closed sign, okay?” Hyebin nodded, before starting to grab her own things. She could always just come back later that night- it was a high time to just get a little fresh air into her systems. She took an ice cream cone to go, and walked to the nearby park with her headphones plugged into her ears. It was one of her favorite things to do, besides sitting in that cafe. Autumn was coming in fast, and the air felt crisp.     

    She sat herself down on a wooden bench that was on the path in the park, and stretched out her legs in front of her. She continued to enjoy her creamy and cold treat- how could she not, when it was in her favorite flavor of green tea? She felt light and airy, as though it were one of those drama- like moments where nothing devastating could cross her. Ice cream in hand, the refreshing air, and an afternoon spent with Junhoe, although she had no idea where he was now. She could see the sunset which was much easier to enjoy than the sunrise that alarmed her that school would be within a few hours time.

    “- oppa, isn’t the weather so nice today?” Hyebin could hear a girl’s voice over the music coming from her MP3. It sounded like any other sappy and young couple, the kind Hyebin had always read of in those romance stories. She became curious of who this couple was- were they as ideal as the girl’s words of sweetness made them seem? Perhaps they were cuter than some of those idol couples she had always read about in the news. Hyebin straightened up, craning her neck to try to get a view. Through the shrubs, she could see a linked hand, with the fingers interlocked. She sighed dreamily; would she ever be able to do that with Junhoe? She was only fourteen, she surely must have time in the future.

    “It’s a little sunny for my taste,” the boy replied. Sometimes, you feel indestructible. And there are only two options that come after that: whether you truly are or not. Hyebin, in this case, was not. Her eyes became in a daze, and she stood up abruptly, walking away quickly. Her head was ducked down, and her long hair formed a curtain between her and the rest of the once pretty autumn day. Because she wasn’t indestructible. Because it was Junhoe and Jisoo, strolling by, oblivious to her presence.

--

Hello my lovelies! I'm so sorry I couldn't update that much- it's a harsh week. Anyways, I finally came around to it :) I think I may have dropped a bomb here with Jisoo being added in. She plays that role that many of us find ourselves disliking; haven't we all experience a case of liking someone and having that person seem to be interested in someone else? Now it's just a matter of if Hyebin can be smart about it, and see how she reacts; after all, she has four years right? 

Thank you guys so much for the subbies, and please leave a comment and upvote. I don't think I can even begin to describe how much I smile whenever I see that notification. Also, I'll be busy in the future, but I wanted to share that I placed very well in a national writing competition, and that I'll try to mature more as a writer on this story. Until next time, please shower this story with your love for Junhoe <3 

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
iisalexithymia
#1
honestly ive read this story but i never git the chance to finish it hahahhah
happyreader98
#2
No matter how many times i read this story it never fails to make me cry.Never thought the ending would turn out that way.Nonetheless it's beautiful.I would love to read more of your ffs again.♥♥♥
hayoungieyo #3
I read this for the first time on last December. I was crying. I read it back fews days ago. I am still crying. Damn this story.. idk what to say no more. Kinda surprised me that I have similarities in some points on this story. It makes me love it. I miss him when i read this... One of my fav great ff. Keep going!
kyungyinn #4
Chapter 1: Read this for (I don't know how many times already actually lol) and dang it! Iit still be my fav and I think forever so I hope you will never delete this story xx
xRenee #5
Chapter 28: Just finished reading the story and I loved it.
I was sad to read that they wouldn't end up together. Although they did in the afterlife. But that is also what I appreciate about this story. And I should have been able to know that this would happen. Especially now I read the foreword again -.-''.
Anyway, good job!
Danceonmygravehansol #6
I just finished this story and I went back and realized that there were face claims for Youjong and Soorim and I had been imaging them looking different the whole time!
Ikonames
#7
Chapter 29: I read this story on a rainy day, I was too lazy to go out and enjoy the rain. I preferred staying home and reading this story. And I have no regrets, this is the most heartbreaking one side love story. I held my tears every was heartbroken. I won't lie and say that I liked the ending, I mean always thought they will end up together. Yet you surprised me with the ending that I never predicted.
For making me feel This way, to be full of emotion then you truly are an amazing writer. I loved every little detail about this story. Please do another ikon story cuz I don't seem to get enough of your writings. Thank you for this amazing story❤️
Wonuda
#8
Chapter 28: Oh my god this is sure a beautiful story authornim. Idk what to say really loves your stories. keep it up okay. Goodjob
byuntae017 #9
Chapter 29: This is so beautiful author-nim! When i first found out that junhoe and hyebin wouldnt be together i was kinda mad but i keep reading anyway and when i read the epilouge, damn, i was crying T.T this is so beautiful and inspiring bcs no matter what, we have to focus on our priority atm. Thank you so much for this amazing story even tho i'm a late reader. Keep writing author nim! :D
iamikontrash #10
Chapter 6: Hey author nim!1!1! please make a new june fanfic haha it's a huge struggle to find a good june fic and yours is the best so far. your writing is v professional