Hyebin was never in more anguish than in this moment. It was the first day of school in the most intense year of their high school career, and the year that would be the beginning of the end. The beginning of college application processes, the beginning of fierce competition, the beginning of nights for proms and such. It was going to be a long year; she could feel it already as the day dragged on. But it felt oddly cold, like a draft was coming into the building and only she could feel it. Perhaps it was because of Junhoe. Koo Junhoe. Oh, did that name give her such mixed emotions.

    Since the day of him becoming single, as well as being the most talked about boy in their whole school for the rest of break, he was almost considered as invalid in her life. He was never there, not a single message or phone call. He would not come out for group hangouts, nor would he even put in an ounce of effort for some lousy excuse. He was simply gone, and if the boys had not told her otherwise, Hyebin would have assumed he moved to America. And then this day came, where she could not sleep the night before.

When she stepped into the well tidied building of the Academies of Seoul, new first years timidly hiding in large herds, and others waving and greeting her in hopes of catching her attention, Hyebin felt the butterflies. She felt the anxiety pounding in her ears, and in her mind she was only repeating one phrase, as though praying it would make her hold onto the painful choice she had already made. She was not sure if she would have repeated it if she had the chance to go back in time; she was almost definite she would not.

Koo Junhoe was everywhere. In the whispers of conversations in the school girls who were excited at the prospect of having a chance. In the list of third years for ID pictures still needed to be taken. In her mind as well; he was almost everywhere. She yearned so much to see him, wanting to reach out to tell him how she wanted to know what he was up to, how he was dealing and if he wanted his favorite vanilla ice cream. She saw the large poster on her wall of him and her, their genuine smiles lighting up the image. His lopsided and playful smile with her elegant and rather soft one. Opposites attracted, they say.

And yet, even by the end of the day, she had not seen him once. Others had said they had seen him, and even during her visit to the choreography room, she could not catch a glimpse. More than once she had thought she had seen him in a crowd, only for it to be the back of another boy’s head. Multiple times she had picked up her phone, her finger over the dial button for his number, before tossing it aside again. She asked to go to the restroom in every class for an excuse to roam the halls, wondering where he would be. Not the math wing, nor the business or engineering sections of the building. The library was relatively empty. He was not outside either. He was there but not, a phantom.

“I swear I have some variation of Phantom Limb Syndrome, but it’s more like Phantom Junhoe Syndrome,” Hyebin murmured in a defeated tone, while Bobby handed her a cold bottle of water. He was trying to comfort her in their English class, when they had free time because the teacher’s presentation on what the school year would be like ended too quickly.

“Don’t be so sad. He’s just been in a little hole these days. If you could go back, would you have changed your choice?” She bit her lower lip, lowering her gaze apologetically. He was not even Junhoe, but it was all the same. She was a horrible person with an astounding ability to remember that horrid day of his break up.

“Jisoo dumped him.” The words were flying through her mind, and she hung up. The voice was loud enough for Soorim and Youjung to catch, and the two exchanged careful looks. It was not like Jisoo to have done such a thing; while she was not the most protective nor clingy of girlfriends, the love was real. The adoration and infatuation was sincerely shining in her gaze every time Jisoo was with Junhoe, and his gaze was just as sickeningly sweet.

“Are you going to go to their apartment? Take a jacket-” Youjung began to say, shuffling towards the closet in the hallway. Hyebin shook her head, a small, ‘no,’ coming out of her lips before she could stop herself. Her eyes widened in shock, and so did the rest of the girls. They were equally surprised at her response, her refusal to help Junhoe.

“M-mwoh?” Soorim coughed out, her eyes almost like owls as she stared at her friend. There was a hint of pride, almost to the fact that Hyebin was indeed growing up, but it was mostly almost sad. Hyebin felt something in her chest crush. It must’ve been her heart.

“I-I can’t do this for him. He doesn’t want to see me, he only wants to see Jisoo. I’m only his soul mate, not his love.” She laughed bitterly, still amazed at the situation. Never in a million years would she have expected Jisoo to drop such a bomb on her. She almost felt betrayed at the thought that the girl never warned her. Youjung looked uncomfortable at the expression on Hyebin’s face.

“Hyebin-ah, are you sure? I know you want to be strong on your own now, but there’s a time and a place for everything. Junhoe needs someone to be there for him,” she said carefully, trying to not trigger an explosive reaction from Hyebin. She was almost like a bomb, not revealing when she would detonate. Luckily, she did not.

“I think I’m sure. No, I’m certain. If he needed me there, he would have called me by now. But he didn’t. I guess the definitions of ‘best friends,’ changed recently, because I was totally unaware.” There was another hollow laugh ringing in the room, along with Hyebin’s phone ringtone. She picked up, this time it was Donghyuk. His soft voice was timidly asking for her to come.

    “Donghyuk-ah, I really want to. But I shouldn’t. Junhoe wouldn’t want a girl to interfere.” She replied, almost sarcastically. It was painful to say the least, acting like she was good without him. Or maybe it was borderline y. She could not tell anymore,

    “Do you honestly believe that?” There was a silence from her end, and an audible sigh was heard from him. There was no more destructive sounds from his end; she assumed they somehow got Junhoe to calm down. “He left. Can’t you at least go to him?” She hung up once again, feeling herself drain of all conviction to avoid him. She could not when he was so obviously hurting. She grabbed a jacket and left wordlessly, passing by her two concerned friends. On the way out, she caught her reflection. No longer was there a confident and smiling young woman with bright brown hair; now there was a sad and pathos- inducing. It felt like she was a five year old trying on her mother’s heels: a get up.

    She found him after wandering around for a bit, and she was surprised he was there at such a late time. Despite it being the night, and her dodging some questionably drunken strangers who had come staggering out of bars and clubs, she found the lights of their cafe , the lone silhouette of Junhoe’s back facing her. She hid herself behind the hedges, peering at him through the branches. It felt weird to be so secretive about this, but she did not have the courage to face him. She wasn’t even sure what he would be like if she had. He was sitting with a bowl of vanilla ice cream set in front of him, untouched and melting a little. His face was in his huge hands, and he was hunched over the wooden table.

    Was she supposed to go in? There was an urge to rush in with her own key, to wrap her thin arms around his broad shoulders and to let him know someone was there, that someone loved him. But she could not move from where her feet were rooted to the ground. She stood there, watching him breath. In. Out. In. Out. His hand twitched a little, and he finally took a bite from his almost- liquified dessert. At least he was able to do well without her. He would take it well, probably just brushing it off after a while and letting it go. He could leave it behind in his long strides towards a brighter tomorrow, and probably laugh it off when he grows up.

    Or he could stay like this. He could act okay and not be so genuinely. Hyebin knew about it; she was the queen of it. He had a bump in his life; it was simply cutting through everything in his safe bubble of happiness that excluded his future in business, and his family’s issues. She fumbled for her phone, before shooting a quick message to Hanbin about Junhoe’s whereabouts. She bit her lower lip, not wanting to leave. And she didn’t- she stayed until Hanbin came running over, out of breath and looking slightly pissed off at how far away he had to travel to find their maknae. When the two left, she stayed behind the bushes, before slowly moving into the cafe with her own spare key. She washed the dishes that Junhoe used, before making herself a mug of hot chocolate. It was oddly different from the normal coffees she would make late at night in an attempt to keep herself awake, but it was a welcoming change. Ah, change. The one thing that seemed to come by too fast.

    “Yes, I would have acted differently. I miss him, Bobby,” her eyes began to water, and he quickly blocked everyone elses view with his back from her face, looking at her with deep concern. Of course if Junhoe was suffering, Hyebin would be as well.

    “He’s not quitting music. Don’t beat yourself over that, if anything.” He said, and Hyebin looked at him, surprised at his words. Junhoe sounded so defeated, and she remembered for his birthday, which she had been unable to attend for it had been strictly just the guys, her present was almost hesitant. She had begged Yongguk for hours, before finally gaining his agreement, and sent a letter through Jinhwan as a messenger to Junhoe. While Jinhwan was unable to know what the contents were, as well as who the real sender was, she was assured that Junhoe had received it and opened it in the privacy of his room at his home. What happened next, she had no idea.

    Her idea of a birthday present was to have Yongguk offer for Junhoe to intern whenever he had time, whether it be via video chat, or emails, or even in person. It was just Yongguk giving Junhoe tips for composing both lyrics and music, as well as how to perform better. For Hyebin, it was a gift she was sure was well suited for the male, until the day he had fought with his father. Hearing that he had not given up on his passion was something that relieved Hyebin’s burdens tremendously. The bell rang, signalling the end of the last class, and Bobby tugged her out of the room, beating everyone in even neighboring classes into the hallways. They found themselves going towards their lockers, and Hyebin felt herself tremble at anticipation. Junhoe was going to be there- she had seen his lock on the locker, along with the name plate. It was their tradition to keep their lockers together in an isolated wing of the building, where no one else could pry into their privacy.

    But as she neared there, she began to break into cold sweat. She felt her stomach tie painfully into knots, as if trying to strangle itself. She felt herself start to feel a little weak in the knees, and she could tell that it was just from the thought of seeing the one person she had been wanting to see for so long. If she had a choice to meet TOP for the first time in person or to see Junhoe for a second, she would have chosen the latter in a heartbeat. And her wish came true.

    There was the familiarly haunting figure of a guy she liked since age fourteen. The one she fell into an emotional wreck for at age fifteen. And the one she was trying to not hurt at age sixteen. She took hesitant steps towards him, for her locker was located not too far down from hers. The rest of the boys were chattering about nothing in particular, before Yunhyeong noticed her standing there, and his mouth formed an ‘O’ shape. He was obviously unsure of how Junhoe would react to seeing her. Junhoe seemed to notice, and turned out of curiosity to see her, standing timidly a few steps away. The tiny distance felt like a mile, and she met his gaze.

    Was she still his clumsy and naive best friend? Was she still the one that he thought of as a soul mate but not the love of his life? Was she even a part of his life at this point? She lowered her gaze submissively, feeling like an underdog in a pack who was scolded severely by the alpha. She almost turned away to retreat to who knows where until she was certain he was gone, but it was too late. She felt his familiar grip around her wrist as he dragged her off, and she let her hair curtain her view from everything around her. She blindly followed him to a familiar stairwell of the school, and as soon as the door closed, she pulled her wrist free.

    “Why am I here?” It was almost painful for him, or for anyone, to hear the fear in her voice. Had anyone seen them from the school, there would have been a big craze. Why was the angel of the school, the girl who was known for being so hard working and kind to everyone, so scared of one of the  top guys? Especially when the two were the icon of friendship in the school, it made no sense. And that’s what was going through their minds; this whole situation made no sense. It was not revealed to Hyebin why Jisoo dumped Junhoe, and the reason why Jisoo dumped Junhoe made no sense to him.

    “We need to talk.” He said in a calm tone, but it frightened her more that he was so fine about it. Had he really been that well without her?

    “Mianhae, I must seem like a horrible friend to you. You can take back your comments about me being your soul mate, and your comments about me being some best friend of yours. But can we at least stay friends?” She asked, a quiver evident in her voice. He didn’t say anything, making her feel more embarrassed at how desperate she must have sounded.

    “You know, you don’t have to be sorry. I’m the one who should be. Jisoo said something that I never thought about before,” he said finally, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. She knew why. Junhoe never backed down, nor did he apologize easily. It was part of his prideful nature; he simply did not like to admit he was in the wrong, and if he did it was rarely accompanied by an apology. But here he was, up his pride.

    “What do you mean?” She asked. Jisoo had never truly told her the reason behind splitting with him. Hyebin just knew that Jisoo was still just as in love as she always was, but there was some mysteriously saddening look of defeat in her eyes.

    “Well for one, Jisoo is moving to Japan because her family is going to focus their company’s resort chain in a location there. She said long distance would have worked, and she was not scared of that at all.” He said, and Hyebin was startled at the news. Jisoo had failed to reveal this to her.

    “Is that why you guys broke up?” She asked cautiously, and he shook his head, a wry smile on his face. She missed his smile, and even though this was not from happiness, she was almost glad to see it.

    “She said I didn’t need her. She loved me, and I loved her, but there was someone else that I relied on more than her.” There was a bitter laughter, before he continued. “She said while I was dating her, I only looked at her as someone to spend my happiness with, but could never go any deeper. It was never like a relationship where there was sharing and fixing each others problems. She said she was always second place, no matter how long ago she knew me and despite the anniversaries and everything.” Her heart sunk at Jisoo’s thoughts. She felt second to Hyebin, like she was not good enough.

    “Is that really what she said?” Hyebin’s voice cracked, and suddenly her stomach twisted in an even tighter knot. It felt wrong on so many levels.

    “She said she was not the love of my life. Maybe I was hers, but apparently she was not meant to be mine. She told me I was supposed to be with the girl that was always there for me, the one that I naturally turned to without anyone forcing me to. That girl, according to her, is you.”

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HELLO MY LOVELIES!! Guess who spent literally two all nighters trying to write this for you guys :) You guys are seriously the best- despite my hard schedule, and everything that was hectic in my life, I'm willing to take out some sleep time to write. 

So you wanted to know about Jisoo breaking up with Junhoe. To put simply, she did not feel she was the right girl. To her, Junhoe was everything she wanted, and she thinks of him as the one for her. But she also thinks that he does not need her. She's the insecure girlfriend who is willing to give up for his sake; there was no better reward she could think of in the long term than for her to see him happy, and for her to move on somehow. So she did what she could: break up, and try her best to make him realize that 

Meanwhile Hyebin is kind of oblviously still in love with him. She's trying to keep herself away because she does not want to upset him more. He, on the other hand, is confused. He was angry at Jisoo breaking up because he obviously liked her a lot, but he also did not understand why she brought Hyebin into this. Because of that, he wanted to clear his mind a little from both girls presence.

I hope you enjoyed this update, because i dont think i can update for the rest of the week... :'( please leave your comments and please do upvote, and I'll be back with more chapters!! Until next time :)