Chorong POV

At first I woke up at 8, but since I didn’t have plans I just went back to sleep. I woke up again at 1 and saw that Bomi was gone. I woke up feeling sad; although I wouldn’t have talked to her it would have been nice to see her. I feel bad that I’ve been ditching her and spending time with other people. It’s hard to be with her. Every time I’m with her all I want to do is just cling onto her. Hug her. Hold her hands. The thing I want to do most is kiss that beautiful lips of her. I started hitting my head; I shouldn’t have these kinds of thoughts about my best friend! I can’t believe she’s hanging out with Sojin unnie today. I have a feeling that Sojin unnie has feelings for Bomi, the way she calls her baby and the way she’s touchy toward Bomi. Ugh. I got out of bed and went to the living room and saw everyone sitting by the tv.

“whoa unnie, this is the first time I’ve seen you wake up at 1 in the afternoon” Eunji said

“yeah I guess I was really tired from yesterday. Did Bomi tell you guys when she’s going to be back?” I asked

“she said she’s going to be out all day with Sojin unnie” Hayoung answered

“ahh okay. Do you guys want to do something today?”

“no unnie, we’ve been going out almost everyday. Let’s relax and watch tv today” Namjoo said

“arrasso” I said walking towards the couch. I tried to watch tv, but my mind kept drifting to Bomi. I really miss her touches. I told her that I didn’t want skinship with her because I was uncomfortable, which is true. When she touches me my heart starts to flutter uncontrollably, I forget about reality and think about grabbing her and kissing her right then, I also lose all feelings in my leg whenever she kisses me on the cheeks. I try to put those feelings out, but I can’t help it. At first I thought it was a small crush, but then it turned into something more. When Bomi had her first boyfriend it was so hard for me. The guy was really nice, but I just couldn’t find myself to like him. Thankfully they broke up after a couple of months because she said she just didn’t feel it with him. I wonder if Bomi is mad at me…I feel bad for doing this to her, but if I keep being near her I might explode and kiss her. If she’s away from me I feel really empty. I hate this! Why did we have to live in a different country? I was getting tired of staying home so I told the others I was going to the Han River to take a walk.

While walking I saw a familiar figure inside a nearby restaurant. As I looked closely it was Sojin unnie and Bomi. Ugh why did I have to see them? I told myself to walk away, but I couldn’t help but stare at what they were doing. Both of them were smiling and laughing a lot. I felt a pang of jealousy in my heart. Sojin unnie kept feeding Bomi and Bomi was happily taking every bite. I can’t take it anymore. I started running away. I wanted to get to the Han River as fast as I could. Being there helps me calm my mind. Does Bomi like Sojin unnie? After seeing what I saw I started feeling mad at Bomi. It’s not even her fault but I still feel mad. I feel mad at her for being so damn clueless. After 15 years how can she not know how I feel? Am I too hard to understand? My mind still wasn’t clear so I decided to go for some drinks. I only drink on certain occasions, and I always try to limit myself, but today I didn’t care. I wanted to get drunk to the point where I forget everything. I went to a bar that was near our dorm so it would be easy for me to get back home.

I sat at the bar for about 10 minutes and I already had 3 drinks. I can still feel pain, so I kept ordering more drinks. I took out my phone to check social medias and the first thing I saw was Sojin unnie’s instagram. It was a picture of Bomi kissing Sojin unnie’s cheeks with the captions “dinner with my baby.” Here comes the jealousy again. I chugged down all of my drinks finally having some feelings going away. I decided to go back home in case any paparazzi or my fans saw me. As I was making my way up the stairs of the building, I saw a car stopping in front. I looked to see who it was and, as if I wasn’t in pain enough, it was Sojin unnie dropping off Bomi. They both came out of the car and hugged to say goodbye. Then Sojin unnie gave a peck on Bomi’s lips and they both smiled. I couldn’t take it anymore. I ran up into the dorm and then ran straight into my room and I can feel tears running down my cheeks. Pabo Bomi. Why do you keep making me feel like this?

Bomi came into the room and saw that I was crying so she rushed to my side.

“unnie! What’s wrong?! Oh man, how much did you drink? You reek of alcohol,” she asked putting her hand on my shoulder. There goes the fluttering again.

“stop. Go away!” I shouted pushing her away. All of my emotions are coming together. I was drunk, I felt mad, sad, jealous, and hate.

“I’m not going to go away until you tell me what’s wrong,” Bomi said being stubborn.

I can feel myself blowing up now, “it’s because of you! I hate you. I hate you with all my guts. So just leave”

“what did I do?” Bomi said tearing up, I guess the words I hate you got to her

“tell me the truth, you only came to Korea to spend time with Sojin unnie huh. Is she more important than me? What is she to you? What am I to you? I’m so tired of this Bomi.”

“tired of what?” Bomi said sounding confused

“I’m tired of you not knowing how I feel! I hate this! I hate being around you. I hate you touching me. I hate how you make me feel. I hate everything about you.”

“you hate me…? You really mean that?”

“yes I mean it! I’m so tired. I feel like I just wasted 15 years of my life! Yoon Bomi. I’m tired of you, so please just get out,” I said. I don’t know what I was saying. I wanted to tell her everything that I feel, but instead everything came out tin a bad way. I hate being around her because I can’t wrap my arms around her and call her mine. I hate her touching me because I can’t do more than just holding hands. I hate how she makes me feel because I know she probably doesn’t feel the same way. I hate everything about her because she made me fell in love with her.

“unnie…if I get out now, I’m not going to come back. So are you sure you want me to get out?” Bomi asked in a serious tone while being in tears

“yes.” I said coldly. I don’t know why, but I thought it would be better to just go our separate ways. I won’t hurt her anymore by avoiding her.

Bomi put some stuff in a small backpack then walked out the door. I felt my whole world crashing down. After I heard the front door closing I got up and went into Hayoung and Namjoo’s room. I couldn’t fall asleep alone. Whenever I was feeling depressed sleeping next to Hayoung makes me feel better.