Chapter 23: Wonderland

I had always imagined myself to be a prosecutor, but it just didn’t work out. Sometimes I feel like all those years in the mediocre law school were nothing but a waste of my time. Actually, I never needed to study law in the university. I could have just passed the bar exam and then simply attended the mandatory two-year training, but back then I liked to keep my choices open. Two or three years in the university, the bar exam, the army and then the training period followed by a life-long career. That was my plan, but things didn’t quite go according to it.

I should have gone to the police academy right away, only God knows why I didn’t. Luckily, I had a chance to leave the damned prosecutor’s office before I got into the power games of those greedy bastar.ds. What I hate the most is to transfer cases to those corrupt sh.its, they always find a loophole and let the guilty slip away. It pis.ses me off even more to know that they have more power than the police force. They are the ones who make the final decision and regrettably often it’s against the humanity.

Anyway, it always bothered me how I and Sehun, despite entering the army together and attending the four week training side by side at Chungcheongnam-do, we never crossed paths after we had been assigned to our duties. He was sent to the Ministry of National Defense and I served for Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency. We only met during our days off and even though I felt much closer to him than ever before, I also sensed that something was not right.

He didn’t look like he was eating properly and he was constantly hiding bruises and wounds. I thought maybe he was being treated badly and bullied by the older soldiers. Knowing his temper and difficult character, he was not a person to be ordered around and he never got along with anyone. But he didn’t even look like he was serving the army, the hard work-out didn’t show on his body, he was still as skinny as always and his hair had grown. I didn’t know they allowed such long hair. At least, they didn’t where I was serving. I was kind of jealous.

The more time passed the less I saw him and when I was finally discharged I didn’t see him at the ceremony where he should have been. We were supposed to be discharged together, but I only met him again two months later at the prosecutor’s office. We had done our internship there and the district attorney offered us jobs right away, promising to wait until our army service would be over. He had kept his promise and there I was, dressed in a pressed suit holding my first case in my trembling hands. Then I saw Sehun, he had a cold distant look in his eyes and he did his best to avoid me. He looked dead to me like his soul had left his body for good.

I and Sehun, we met Bok Nam hyung during our internship period and he took us into his team right away, saying that he needed fresh faces for simple undercover tasks. Even though he never showed it, I know that he took a special liking to us. He was good friends with the district attorney Il Pyung and recommended us. Later, he also gave me a chance to transfer to the detective bureau. I had to study on the side but thanks to his connections I was granted my police badge quite soon. That was one of the hardest and busiest years in my life, it was also extremely rewarding. I kept in contact with Sehun during those times, but we didn’t meet that often. He started spending more time with Eun Yoo, they were dating ever since the army. And he had never told me about it!

I tried to shake information out of him whenever I could because I was worried. What was he doing and where did he always disappear to? He never told me. I saw him together with Kang Woo quite often and it bothered me so much. That guy had never been good news, he was constantly in trouble with his drug addiction and whatnot. I trusted Sehun with these matters and knew that he would never do anything as stupid as to get involved with all that s.hit. Little did I know…

Finally, I got tired of all the shady secrets and Sehun’s bipolar behavior. He didn’t look happy, he was a wreck, and even Eun Yoo was starting to get worried about him. Her father seemed to know something but he refused to talk, I never liked him in the first place, anyway. I talked about it to Bok Nam hyung and he told me that Sehun was not our business anymore. He was working for Il Pyung and whatever he was doing didn’t concern us. But he did sound concerned, though.

Fu.ck it all, I decided that I was not going to give up on my best friend. I knew that Sehun had started to act weird even before we went to the army but now he was different, he was turning into a stranger. What I found out was not pretty, but I was glad I actually bothered to dig out the truth. It was Bok Nam hyung who finally managed to pull Sehun out from the he.ll he had somehow spiraled into. Soon after, he was transferred to our team and everything seemed to get back to normal. I felt so content transferring cases to him because I could fully trust him and he owned the courtrooms. I loved to be on the same team with him, we were the best, honestly.

After Bok Nam hyung retired, things changed slightly. Il Pyung restricted our movements and the most important cases never got transferred to Sehun anymore. Sometimes I got really pis.sed off when he acted nonchalant about it. He had somehow lost his ambitions for justice and told me that solving any case was important, it didn’t matter what kind of case as long as the truth was brought out. He became such a sissy, he lost his spark. Well, he had lost his spark long ago already but ever since Bok Nam hyung’s retirement he became even worse. All he cared about anymore was a bloody promotion.

He was still good at what he was doing, but I thought it was such a waste of talent to keep him restricted to the nonsense cases when there were so many people we needed to catch. After all, it was us who got one of the most influential drug lords jailed together with Bok Nam hyung. For me, it was a huge victory. We managed to destroy a whole criminal organization from top down. I had never smiled so much in my whole life like I smiled after that case had been solved. Sehun didn’t smile though; he had stopped smiling long ago. It was only later when he told me that it was a mistake to put Gong Ryu behind the bars, and his words sounded like a death sentence. That’s when I finally realized what crime really was.

It was justice.

Kim Jongin glanced around as he entered a beautiful suite in one of the best hotels at Seoul downtown. He saw a champagne bottle on ice and sliced fruits neatly arranged on a plate, grabbing a piece of watermelon and chewed on it lazily. In less than two weeks, he had managed to get Min Seok to worship himself and it wasn't even hard. With Jongin's looks and suave manners, it was easy for him to charm men too, especially men. He had his ways with women, but he was gay so it was natural that his skills were better with the that actually interested him. The older male had been wrapped around his little finger and that’s exactly where he wanted him to be.

Jongin glanced at his wristwatch; it was nearly 9 pm already. Slumping on the couch he settled in a comfortable position and relaxed. He would have to wait for Min Seok for a bit longer. There was nothing else to do anyway. Sooner or later the older male would be there.

“I’m sorry Sehun. It just couldn’t be helped.”

1 unread message from Kai:

“Meet me at the warehouse no. 6. It’s important, be there at 9pm sharp.”

The area was eerily quiet and dark when Sehun parked his motorbike by the side of the street. Warehouses stood next to each other like thumb stones, dark and ominous. Sehun ran his hand through his flattened hair and squinted his eyes at the number plates, soon spotting the right warehouse. He walked briskly to the door and pushed it open, only darkness greeting him. Wind seeped in through the cracks in the glass and howled in the dusty corners. Every step Sehun took echoed in the distance. Finally, he saw a strip of light and heard voices. Without even an ounce of hesitation, he walked to one of the doors which had been left ajar and pushed it open.

Instead of Jongin he was greeted by three men. They didn't spend any time introducing themselves and went straight to the business. They captured him, beat him into a mess, tied him up, and kicked into one of the corners. He didn’t put up a fight and soon ended up lying on the cold floor half conscious, wondering about a lot of things. Like what to have for dinner or where to take Eun Yoo to a next date? Not even once did he wonder about Jongin because he would always trust him blindly. Always.

Sehun was already numb from cold and pain when two men grabbed his arms and dragged him under the only source of light. It was an old rusty lamp, which hung from the ceiling, squeaking quietly in the weak wind. He was pushed to his knees and his eyes landed on a pair of nice leather shoes.

“Chili”, the familiar bass spoke calmly. “Do you remember me?”

A hand grabbed onto the back of Sehun's head, cold fingers tangling into his hair, and he was forced to look up. A handsome face of a youthful man came into the view, thick lines of eyeliner circled his beady eyes and his short hair stuck up. He was dressed in all black, chilly darkness seemingly emitting from him. His soulless eyes sank into Sehun’s warm browns and he smirked wickedly, angling his head to the side.

“Yes”, Sehun said in a hoarse voice. He would never forget someone who had made him turn into a monster for a second time. One time had been enough to send him into a noisy death they called life. The second time was now destroying him slowly from inside. He was practically a corpse by now, living dead, a zombie. He was a goner and he knew it.

The strong fingers untangled from Sehun’s hair and his head dropped, hanging low between his slouched shoulders. He had no strength to hold his chin up, but that didn’t mean his pride had vanished. As ironic as it was, that was the only thing he had left anymore. Min Seok lifted his foot and held Sehun’s chin up with the tip of his polished shoe. Their eyes met again, his black orbs melting into something soft and vulnerable, cutting through all the way to the charred soul.

“You are such a doll.” There was a hint of amusement in his dark voice. “You have been torturing my boys for over a week now. Did they sing?”

Sehun shifted his gaze away from the man's face and pursed his lips together. The look in Min Seok’s eyes sharpened, he slipped his hands into the pockets of his slacks and kicked Sehun’s cheek, sending him on the cold concrete floor. The latter fell to his side, his eyes rolling up. A thin trail of crimson red blood slid down his chin from the corner of his mouth.

“Such a doll, really.”

A hard sole came in contact with Sehun’s throbbing cheek and pressed on the bruise. He was still conscious and in so much pain that it numbed his senses. His vision became blurry and he found it hard to breathe, but his mind was blank. He wasn’t scared or nervous. He felt nothing.

“Enjoy your punishment.” These heavy words sounded so final, so brutal and harsh. Min Seok glanced at his wristwatch and then exchanged looks with the man who stood behind Sehun. No words were spoken and soon receding footsteps echoed in Sehun's ears so loudly he thought he would go deaf.

He was forced on his knees just to be slapped and kicked over again. This time he fell on his back and saw three unfamiliar faces glaring at him. Someone was snickering in the background and strings of cigarette smoke floated in the air. There was something peaceful about that. Sehun’s vision dimmed and the world turned into a gray mess. Only bright red color of life and death shone through the veil of the harsh reality, it was his own blood which smeared the concrete floor beneath him. His life poured out of him, his useless, worthless, sad excuse for a life.

“One of the guys you arrested is my little brother”, a sharp voice spoke, but it blurred into something Sehun couldn’t understand. He could only hear whooshing of his own blood, rushing out of him.

His eyes closed and he saw only darkness. Maybe it was a kick to his chest that sent his heart shattering into million pieces but that’s all he could sense, tiny sharp shards piercing his insides and ripping him apart. He finally allowed himself to think about Da Hyun, how they would never be together. It was impossible to say when he had fallen for her so damn hard or why he kept thinking about her only during the most inappropriate moments, but now as he lied there, coughing on his own blood, he thought about her.

All week he had been forcing her out of his mind, all week he didn't step into his apartment, all week he had been locked in his office, all week he had hardly eaten anything. All week he had been lying to himself that he was fine and he had believed that lie until it had now been beaten out of him in this manner. He was glad that he had actually visited her for one last time and he was glad they had shared that tender coffee kiss. It now lingered on his lips, giving him solace like a cheap last minute magic trick. A tear slid down his cheek, not from pain or sadness, but happiness. He was sorry this was how far he could go. This was where everything would finally wrap into empty silence. Incomplete and bittersweet.

“Yah! Did you hear what he just said?!” another voice boomed.

But no, Sehun had not heard anything. He was busy listening to his own slowing heartbeats and he was counting, waiting for that moment when there would be nothing to count anymore. He stared emptily in front of himself, his glassy eyes seeing nothing. His face was turning pale and he was holding his breath, about to lose his consciousness. Maybe he was not that numb, maybe he actually felt how the knife had just sunk into his flesh. Not deep enough to kill but enough to hurt, a procedure he had performed himself so many times before. They were marking him so he would remember for the rest of his life how much a failure he was. He rather they killed him.

A pair of hands kept him still on his back, fingers digging into his skin painfully. His hooded pullover and t-shirt were ripped open, his jeans slid lower exposing his stomach to the coldness of the night. His legs were untied and kept still from his ankles. Without any warning a smooth blade of a sharp knife sank into his flesh, it pulled out just to sink in again. Sehun groaned in pain, throwing his head back, his eyes were tightly closed and he was panting. He had bit through his lower lip and blood trickled down his already bloodied chin. Even bigger blood drops emerged from somewhere near his hairline and rolled down his cheeks like sinful tears.

In another abrupt movement, he was spun around and his swollen cheek came into a painful contact with the concrete floor once again. A hand held his head still and a knee pressed to his shoulder blade. He shivered when the tip of the knife trailed his skin, finally stopping and sinking in. He thought this was such a fitting punishment for someone like him.

“You can live with one kidney just fine, can't you?”

“Just think of it as a payment.”

“You take something of ours and give us something of yours. That's just business.”

“What is going on in here?” Kang Min asked angrily when he saw three men hunched over something. A frown settled on his face when he took notice of the blood stains on the floor. He heard soft pained moans and shivered in discomfort when he saw what was going on “What the fuc.ck?” he shrieked, first walking closer and then taking a step back.

“Relax, we know what we are doing”, one of the men smirked.

Kang Min’s eyes widened and he covered his mouth with the back of his palm. He saw how more blood oozed out when the man pulled the wound open, his eyes searching for the kidney.

“Just cut it out quickly before he loses too much blood.”

“I know. Shut up!”

“We don’t have much time. The ambulance will be here soon.”

“Sh.it! Don’t disturb me!”

Gagging, Kang Min staggered backward and bumped into the only table, which was standing beside the wall.

“S-st-op that”, he muttered. “S-stop!”

“Shut up!”

“Weakling, it’s just a little bit of blood.”

“People like him can’t take this, puss.ies”

The men joked and snickered, throwing dirty looks at Kang Min. Chills ran down his spine when he heard a weak moan, Sehun was still conscious. He turned away from the scene and hurled beside the table, grabbing on it for support.

“If he dies we all die”, he hissed. “Crazy bastar.ds!”

Two burly men in black suits ran into the room followed by Da Hyun and Hong Kyu, they all froze when they saw the amount of blood on the floor.

“Stop this instant!” Hong Kyu yelled, he pulled out a gun and pointed it at the three men.

“Fu.cks sake! It’s only a kidney.”

“One more move and you are all dead!”

“Calm your , everything is under control.”

“The operation is almost over.”

Da Hyun’s mind went blank and her face turned pale, she could hear a snap in her brain and a pool of emotions exploded inside of her. Blinded by rage she dashed at the men, turning deaf ear to Hong Kyu’s warnings. The first one was the man with the knife; she grabbed his collar and pulled him away from Sehun with one powerful tug. The two other men were soon pulled away too. 

 “Get off him!” Da Hyun hollered, kicking the man at her feet.

“Back down lady, this is not an appropriate moment for hysteria!” He quickly scrambled to his feet and threw a punch at her face but missed.

“Hold the bit.ch.”

“Take him down!”

“Let me go, dou.chebag!”

“Psychotic sh.it!”

“Hands off!”

“Shut he fu.ck up everyone!” Kang Min yelled, but the brawl had already exploded into a full bloom. In horror, he stared at Sehun who was lying on the floor in the midst of it all, taking in sharp breaths, his weary eyes darting around, trying to understand. He looked like he didn’t know where he was and it struck Kang Min. The prosecutor was dying; he was losing too much blood. Kang Min bit on his nails looking frantically around. He saw how the man with the knife swung his weapon at Da Hyun, but she caught his wrist, stopping the knife in front of her chest.

“God damn it”, he muttered under his breath and dug out his pistol with trembling hands. He pointed it at the man with the knife, but his hands were trembling too much and his vision was getting blurry from all the nausea he was feeling. Hong Kyu saw him pointing the gun at where Da Hyun was and without another thought he aimed for Kang Min’s shoulder. Da Hyun managed to throw her attacker over and turned her head towards the gunshot, she saw that Kang Min was pointing his gun at where Sehun was lying and when a bullet hit him, he accidentally pulled the trigger.

“Everything is wrong.”

“Everything is so ed up.”

Da Hyun’s jeans smeared in blood as she fell on her knees beside Sehun. She gasped hungrily for air, unable to tell where exactly the bullet had hit her, the pain spread everywhere in an in instant and her body stiffened. She grabbed on Sehun’s shirt, promising to never let go. He stared at her blankly, barely breathing anymore, but he felt her tears on his face. They seemingly washed the blood away. He finally realized it was her there, her comforting warmth was everywhere, kissing his abused body into bliss. All noise started fading away from his ears and his eyes closed while Da Hyun’s stayed open. Someone tried to pull her away from him, but she held on tightly. She recognized Jin Ki’s voice and that made her hold onto Sehun even harder.

“You and me, we will go together.”

As the events were unfolding at the warehouse Min Seok arrived at the suite and found Jongin sleeping on the couch. Letting out a yawn, he settled beside the detective and snuggled against him, resting his head on the broad shoulder. Blissful smile lingered on Min Seok’s thin lips as he thought about what had happened earlier. It had been a while since he had felt this satisfied.

One Week Earlier

“If oppa finds out that you have been looking into this…” Sun Mi’s eyes darted from the photograph at the young man in front of her, “…he will kill you.” She gazed at him with a firm look, seeing a lot of resemblances between him and Hyuk Jae. Even if not complete copies of each other, they were still very similar. Same eyes, same hair, that annoying height and the stubborn character.

“Please…” Sehun rolled his eyes and fell back into his seat.

Sun Mi’s eyes dropped at the photograph. She was a bit surprised. When Sehun had contacted her out of the blue and asked to meet she had expected him to ask questions about her husband’s death or Jung Woo’s murder, but during the past twenty or so minutes he had not brought those two cases up at all. She was aware that Jin Ki and Hyuk Jae had made it so Il Pyung would have no other options but to bury these cases and it was usually easy to convince him to play along, anyway.

But Sehun, he didn’t seem to be as easy. When he had declined the bribes and stood up for Da Hyun, it had become clear that he was a stubborn man. And he had also gone against Sun Mi in such a flashy manner. She didn’t exactly hate it, but she didn’t like it either. She still didn’t know Sehun well enough to place her conclusions about him. Of course, Hyuk Jae was her good friend and she would always take that into consideration. But if Sehun ever dared to hurt Da Hyun or cause problems for her, Sun Mi wouldn’t hold back either.

When she had met Sehun for the first time she hadn’t recognized him to be Hyuk Jae’s son right away, it only struck her a few days later. Something about his behavior and arrogant attitude had reminded her of the past and she had contacted Hyuk Jae, remembering that his son’s name was indeed ‘Sehun’ even if he rarely mentioned it. He usually referred to his son with curse words or ‘my baby son’. After seeing Sehun’s photograph, she had confirmed his identity.

Now this came up, Kim Ah Sung…

“Did you and your husband have an open relationship?” Sehun asked in a bored tone. He had barely touched his food. In fact, he didn’t display any interest in it.

Sun Mi flashed a dark smile, her knife cutting the steak in a graceful manner. She really turned eating into art and Sehun felt like he was getting full by only watching her. It was strange and disturbing, but that’s how he thought. Maybe meeting at a restaurant was not the best idea… But then again, he had no idea where to meet up with an older woman so it wouldn’t seem too awkward.

“Don’t you have any manners?” she asked flatly, before placing a piece of steak into and chewing, ever so slowly.

“I’m just going to assume it was so then…”

“I don’t really understand why you are looking into this. Don’t you have anything better to do than stick your nose in other people’s business?” Sun Mi swallowed and then took a sip from her glass, tilting her head back and revealing her smooth neck. She was y for her age, Sehun had to agree.

“Since you made me back off from your husband’s case…” He picked up his fork and fiddled with it, a knowing smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I really have nothing else to do.”

“I see that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”, Sun Mi clicked her tongue. “You seem to have inherited the worst traits from your father.”

Sehun face became sour. “You met him in high school, right?”

“Yes, and it was hate at first sight”, Sun Mi chuckled to herself.

“How was he like back then?”

“Noisy, arrogant, conceited and cocky.”

“Pretty much how he is now…” Sehun muttered under his breath. “How was Go Jun then? You all went to the same high school, didn’t you?”

Sun Mi shot him a stern look. “Do you really think it’s that easy to crack me up?”

“I’m just trying to understand, you know.” Sehun shrugged.

“You are aware of who I am, right? Or are you just stupid?”

“You said I resemble my father so I guess you know the answer yourself.” Sehun hummed. He held the fork in front of his face before jamming it into a potato on his plate. He left it like that and admired it as if it was the finest piece of art. “It’s not like I’m innocent either, noonim.”

His eyes held dark secrets when he shifted them at Sun Mi. The way he was looking at her, it disturbed her, giving her chills. She knew that look so well, that sinister smirk and dangerously sharp gaze, which sank deep into her soul with no restraint. But Hyuk Jae had never told her anything. It occurred to her that… Hyuk Jae didn’t know.

Sun Mi narrowed her eyes at Sehun. “Why are you looking into Ah Sung?”

“It just interests me”, he said with a hint of amusement. “And I like it how just the mention of her name shakes everyone up.”

Sun Mi’s jaw clenched and she dropped her utensils on the table. “This might be a joke to you but what you are digging up, that’s…”

“Every family has a secret, I guess”, Sehun chuckled dryly, his eyes growing a bit smaller. “The darker the more interesting.”

“You…. Right now…” Sun Mi scoffed upon a realization. “Right now, are you doing what I think you are?”

“Where did she disappear to and why? I really wonder…”

Sun Mi’s hands curled into tight fists, a bit of the table cloth catching in-between her fingers. Her darkened angry eyes were fixed on Sehun.

“And what does Jin Ki have to do with this, anyway?”

“You will regret this.”

“Maybe but…” Sehun held his chin higher, sending Sun Mi a flirty look. “Noonim, you either let me investigate your husband’s murder or then get crushed under my dirty sole.” He smacked his lips playfully.

“How dare you?!” she hissed through gritted teeth.

Sehun hummed, glancing at the potato and the fork, which was still sticking up. He grabbed it and gently smashed the potato on his plate. “When you boil these for too long they become soft and fall apart so easy… and if you boil them even longer”, he peered at Sun Mi’s enraged face from under his bangs, “… they completely dissolve in the water.”

“You impudent little”, she growled. “You don’t know what you are starting here!”

“Maybe”, Sehun agreed with a slight nod. “But I can’t stop now either, you see… Well, I’m not sure if you will believe me but…” He let his head drop as he chuckled, but with no humor. His chuckle, it rang hollow in Sun Mi’s ears. When he looked up all that wicked mischief and playfulness were gone and he was dead serious.

The way he was constantly changing his facial expressions, how his mood seemed to shift from one edge to another, it actually intimidated Sun Mi. He could smirk and call her ‘noonim’ and the next second he was sending her a cold-blooded glare. In complete control, he was holding her captive in his little mind game and his grip was so strong it made her hold her breath.

“I do love her for real.”

“Stay away from Da Hyun”, Sun Mi snarled but her voice came out quiet and weak. She found herself getting into his intent glare; he was trapping her in the darkest corner of his soul and she didn’t like it one bit.

“I will… after I help her finish what she started.”

Sun Mi gave him a puzzled look, but he only hummed, suddenly spacing out.

“Think about it”, he said indifferently as he got up. “But beware, I do bite.” His lips tugged into a small content smirk. “Thank you for your time, noonim”, he playfully stretched the last word. 

“Kill Kang Min and then we will talk again”, Sun Mi hissed in barely audible voice when Sehun walked past her. He stopped but didn’t turn to look at her. “Make it an accident. I don’t care how you do it.”

Sehun sighed and shook his head, then backspaced so he was standing beside her. He looked down at her while she had her gaze lowered. Since she was not making any movements he placed his hand on the backrest of her chair and leaned down so his head was at the level of hers. She finally looked at him, her eyes completely soulless.

“You don’t understand”, Sehun said sternly. “Let’s do this the right way, shall we?”

“What do you-“

“Think about it.” Sehun flashed a mysterious smile and leaned away.

He left just like that and Sun Mi had no idea what he was planning. She only knew that he had threatened her and his threat, it was real.

People kept telling me that there was always a way in, but no way out. It didn’t scare me, nothing did. I thought that maybe, at the end of the day, I wouldn’t even want out. The whole concept was thrilling and exciting. I guess, I was just stupid and reckless. But what do you know? Two years in the army or then… free like a bird in the sky. It’s not like I was thrilled to dig tunnels or carry out my seniors’ every single petty order like my life depended on it. I’d rather carry out an order knowing that my life truly would depend on it. I could taste danger at the tip of my tongue… Hell, I was so in! I was so doomed!

Sometimes I stop and wonder. Am I out or am I still in? Sometimes, I look at my mirror reflection and wonder, is that me? Or is that him?

Maybe there is no way out, after all?

Is that a bad thing?

*

Two days had passed since the clubbing incident. Da Hyun was still embarrassed about her shameless bawling in Sehun’s arms afterward, but she had to admit that crying like that had also made her feel somehow at ease. She didn’t know how it had happened, but she had woken up in Sehun’s arms in the bed. He was lying on his back, totally out and snoring softly while she lied in his armpit, her head resting on his shoulder and her arm draped over his waist. Tranquil and warm rays of the setting sun seeped through the half-opened blindfolds and Da Hyun got this urge to stay there forever. It was such a wonderful moment. For once, his heart beat steadily as if he had finally calmed down from whatever was making him breathless.

She propped her body on her elbow and gazed at his peaceful face. Her fingers trailed his lips and chin, her palm cupped his cheek and then she finally brushed his bangs off his forehead. Placing her hand on the pillow beside his head, she leaned in and planted a soft kiss on his lips. “Just this once.”

Then she left, completely oblivious to the tear which had slid down his cheeks once her warmth had left him.

Sehun only opened his eyes after she was gone. He glanced at the nightstand and saw a small piece of paper with familiar scribbling on it. He reached for it and picked it up, squinting his eyes to read what she had written. Another tear dropped from his lashes and he scrunched the paper in his fist, tossing it away. Sehun covered his face with his arm and sighed, angst swallowing his heart and soul.

You live your life. I’ll live mine.

Thank you and goodbye.

The coffee shop wasn’t busy when Da Hyun took a seat in a secluded corner. She decided to wait for Eun Yoo to arrive, so they could place their orders together. Actually, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to meet the older female just yet, but she also knew that she couldn’t stall the apology. There were so many things to apologize for. Of course, Da Hyun would never mention anything about Sehun, she didn’t have the right to break their relationship. She had not seen them together much, but based on what she had seen they trusted each other and she didn’t want to be the one destroying what they had. She genuinely liked them both. Well, about Sehun… she had not settled her feelings yet and refrained thinking about him. Part of her was scared and the other, devastated. She didn’t want to disappoint Hyuk Jae either.

“How are you? Are you really okay?” Eun Yoo was the one to bring out the topic. After she had arrived they had chitchatted for some time but it felt empty and meaningless. She knew what Da Hyun was thinking about and wanted to make things easier for her. The latter lowered her eyes and sighed deeply.

“I am so sorry, unni. I… I’m just… so sorry”, she whispered in a pained voice. “I wish I could turn back time and stop everything from happening.”

A gentle smile tugged at Eun Yoo’s lips. “But I asked if you were okay?”

Da Hyun peeked at her from under her bangs with a slight frown. “I should be asking you that.”

“Right now, did you know that you remind me of Sehun”, Eun Yoo said out of the blue.

“I- I do?” Da Hyun’s eyes widened. “H-how?”

“He always apologizes too and takes responsibility for things that weren’t his fault. I feel like you two are so similar, actually.”

“But it was my fault. All of it.”

Eun Yoo reached out her arm and placed her palm on top of Da Hyun’s hand. The latter winced at the unexpected contact and her eyes filled with question marks.

“I don’t really know why it all happened, but I know for sure that it wasn’t your fault”, Eun Yoo said firmly but with a smile, her soft gaze holding Da Hyun’s. “I know that it must have been hard for you too so don’t blame yourself. You are being too hard on yourself.”

“Unni….” Da Hyun’s lips quivered and her eyes drooped. “Why are you so nice to me?”

“Because I like you”, EunYoo chuckled. “I like you a lot.”

For a flash second, an urge to tell everything struck Da Hyun. She wanted to spill out every single detail about her and Sehun’s affairs, and she wanted Eun Yoo to be angry, to tell her that she was a b.itch and deserved to die. But she couldn’t say it. Her lips parted but no words came out. She was afraid of hurting Eun Yoo even more. Convincing herself that all of it had been just a mistake from Sehun’s part, she came to a conclusion that from her part too, it all was “just a mistake”, even if it didn’t feel so. But feeling is just a feeling, it’s not a fact. Right?

Even before Da Hyun could realize what happened, Eun Yoo was already sitting on a chair next to her, pulling her into a comforting hug.

“I hope you didn’t get hurt too bad”, she whispered. “I saw your wounds and I heard drugs were involved. I was really worried, you know.” Eun Yoo felt an urge to protect Da Hyun. She was so small and cute, and very sweet too. She had a vulnerable side to her but, at the same time, she was strong and dependable.

“Don’t be so nice to me”, Da Hyun muttered. “I haven’t really deserved it.”

“I don’t really care about that.”

A lopsided smile spread on Da Hyun’s lips and she closed her eyes, inhaling Eun Yoo’s sweet scent. Something about this woman was so calming and peaceful, she felt at ease and very grateful. Perhaps, she’d finally get a proper female friend, someone who is not all about fame and beauty, but someone who was down to earth and simple. There was so much kindness in Eun Yoo that Da Hyun found herself drowning in it. Until she realized that the hug had lasted for a bit too long for it to be normal anymore. She made an attempt to lean away but Eun Yoo’s hold around her tightened. Even though she had a frail appearance, she seemed to be strong.

“Uh, unni…”

“Oh, sorry”, Eun Yoo gasped as if realizing something. She quickly withdrew from the hug and smiled awkwardly, her cheeks flushing red. “I kind of spaced out. Sorry if I made you feel awkward.”

“It’s…. it’s okay”, Da Hyun flashed a hesitant smile. She couldn’t point her finger at it but as she stared at Eun Yoo’s face, into her kind eyes, and there was something about her…. something…

What was supposed to be a form of encouragement somehow turned into an uneasy pressure. Suddenly, there was nothing either of them could say. Nothing seemed to fit the situation and the atmosphere grew heavier and heavier.

“Erm… unni?” Da Hyun muttered when Eun Yoo just stared at her with intent eyes. Her stare was so blatant and shameless that it brought blush on Da Hyun cheeks. For a second, she thought that maybe Eun Yoo knew about everything and was now getting angry. But it wasn’t so.

“Do you want to go somewhere else?” Eun Yoo suddenly snapped from the stare and lowered her eyes, her voice coming out a little thicker than usual.

“What do you have on your mind?” Da Hyun asked absentmindedly. She grabbed her coffee cup and took a huge gulp. Who would have thought that Eun Yoo could be so intense too? And why was it getting hot all of a sudden?

“Something that would cheer us up. Maybe shopping?”

“I know!” Da Hyun’s face b