☑ kloh-ay
Colloquial Mini Reviews ★ (╥﹏╥) ★ ☰ CLOSED10
no poster. :)
GENRE/S: slight!drama, crack
MAIN CHARACTERS: jang dongwoo of infinite, noori (oc), and pallio (oc, unnamed son)
CHAPTER COUNT: oneshot
STORY DESCRIPTION: dongwoo and his wife battles the fear that it will not work.
HERE ARE A FEW REMINDERS PRIOR TO THIS REVIEW. FIRST OF ALL, DON'T FORGET TO CREDIT THE SHOP -- EITHER THE SHOP OR ME, YEOLWHO05, SO AS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE EFFORT IN PROVIDING YOU THIS REVIEW. SECONDLY, MAKE SURE TO COMMENT AFTER PICKING YOUR REVIEW. DO PROVIDE YOUR FEEDBACK, IF POSSIBLE, AS WELL. i'D LIKE TO KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT MY REVIEW, LIKE DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG OR SOMETHING, OR WOULD YOU LIKE TO DEFEND YOUR STORY, ETC.? I'D BE GLAD TO ANSWER THEM ALL. ^^
IT WORKS! story LINK | KLOH-AY | FEB. 10, 2015
STRENGTHS:
(1) that surprising ending
you know, i almost had a mental breakdown when i read the last part of the story. i was like, "What?" lol. it was in a good way, of course. it was like, i thought everything was angsty and all, yet it was all about how you freaking put the battery on the remote. you made me slap my forehead upon realization there. lol. despite the weirdness of it all, you really did a good job. the ending was surprising, and it was most definitely not what i was expecting.
(2) that "seemingly lacking yet it wasn't" description
at first, i thought that your description was lacking, being it only containing two lines to describe what the story was all about. truth to be told, those lines didn't really made sense, but then again, as i read through the story, it made sense. i mean, of course, it confused me at first, but i don't think that it would be a good idea to provide more information as that might reveal a few hints beforehand. needless to say, i think they might be more ways to introduce the story, but of course, the description now is fine with me, though others might find it lacking, too.
(3) your choice of words, vocabulary, and comprehension
indeed, your grammar was really good. i barely spotted errors, to be honest. most of the errors that i found merely concerned typographical ones, like "colour bean to seep away from his face." i believe that it should
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