Jessica POV

The whole car ride home was silent, neither of us wanted to start a fight in the car. However, once we got home would be another story. I stepped inside what was supposed to be called home. However, it was dark, cold and silent. This is not how I picture my life would be with Suho. We were supposed to love and understand each other. Our home was supposed to be bright and loving instead cold and silent.

That how it always was since Suho and I got married. He came home late from college always busy with school and working at the hospital. That is when I finally had enough being home alone all the time. I got myself into work. Created my company from the ground up, I created my success. The worst part is I did meet people behind Suho's back. I needed to feel like I was being taken care of and loved. Which Suho neglected for so many years, He only took care of me and loved me in front of people. At home, he spent his time alone in his room, and I then didn’t any part of it anymore. I should have been his centre of attention instead of his school and work.

Suho had this great idea of having a family will solve our problem. It only brought more problems as I became infertile. The had no love, and we continue to drift apart. Then it brought back memories of my abortion.  I wanted Suho to love me and care for me like back in high school.  Tonight all the feelings I had for Kris came and hit me hard. The car ride home I thought what if I kept the baby what would have happened? If I had listened to Kris would we be happily living in a small home with our child running around. I would I feel his strong arms wrap around me in bed, and him telling me how much he loves me; just like he did back in high school when we were still together.

When I put my jacket and shoes away, I saw Suho already heading up the stairs. “Why her …. Ahra? Out of all the women, you can choose to carry our baby, why did you choose her” I was already breathless as I stared up at Suho. He slowly came down the stairs and caressed my cheek. I let myself cry for the first time in years. I haven’t cried since the abortion.

“Ahra is my best friend,” Suho said, I couldn’t but laugh.

“Best friend, you haven’t seen her in years and you call her your best friend? In high school when was she ever your best friend? As I remember you guys were school council colleagues. You were popular, and she was the lonely nerd” I laughed. How could Suho choose Ahra they were only colleague’s rights? So why did he choose Ahra?

Suho's hand is pulled away making me miss his gentle touch. He sighs deeply, and I look down to the floor. “You may see it that way, but Ahra was my first love before I meet you. I had to stay away because you were rude to her and threaten her. I had to look out for Ahra by being with you” Suho said breaking my heart. Why would say these things now, out of all time we spent together.

“So it’s my fault you can’t have a family because you are with me the women who you hate just to protect Ahra.” I squeeze my eye tight, but that didn’t stop me from crying.

“I’m not blaming you; I never said it was your fault. I was ready to give Ahra everything to her; my mother didn’t allow me to be with her. But it didn’t matter I was ready to give up my money and status to be with her. Until I got a visit from your parents saying if I didn’t marry you they would ruin my whole family. I couldn’t let that happen to my family. . . I gave us a chance when I said I do. I loved you Jessica, and I still do. Having this baby will give us another chance to fall in love more” Suho said.

“God do you hear yourself. You’re saying that I force you to marry me. Suho you said you love me, but you haven’t shown me any love or any affection. You’re not in love with me, and I don’t know if I am in love with anymore.” I turn around ready to leave this cold home when Suho grabbed my arm and pushed me into the wall.

“You can’t leave me, we are married and w-we are going to have a family” Suho held my wrist tight, making me wince from the pain. I struggle myse