Jong Kook ran. His lungs almost lacking with air at his current speed. Ears ringing and feet hinting that their about to give up for sprinting an impossible distance. It's almost as if he's running away from his wedding. Though, he could might as well be. Because how could he get married when he barely slept for the past few days, not just with anxiety, but with the feeling that he's missing something. That is not the life he wanted to spend with Ji Hyo, but he's also certain that with what he's about to do, there's a huge chance that he's not going to spend it at all with her. Unfortunately, it is a risk he's now willing to take. He just has to. A part of him says that it's because he loves her very much, but he doesn't want to start believing himself because if he really does, he wouldn't be this selfish and gamble their relationship just for a hunch that he wants deduced.

 

Besides, he's always been this way wasn't he. He absolutely needs to be right, all the time. He's such a hypocrite for accusing his father of such narcissistic desires when the apple doesn't fall far away from the tree. The singer could very much be an image of his father. A cold, egoistic man who believes that he's not doing anything wrong. Why else would they grow apart, for god knows how many years, when only one of them had to concede with the other? He did wreck himself when he believed that Ji Hyo left him, hurting everyone around him, because he couldn't bear the fact that he was at fault. He even demanded too much apologies just to make his point that he is the better one. He kept on insisting that he is madly in love with Ji Hyo, but he couldn't resist proving that his father is hiding something. Now that he thinks about it, he's even worse than the man he took so long loathing.

 

 

 

 

That man's physique welcomed him when he opened the hotel door with the key his mother gave him. He stopped halfway from what Jong Kook assumed was signing and shot a glance at the younger man's intrusion. "How did you-."

Without parting away from his usual neutral image, Jong Kook's father took a moment to inhale deeply, before entwining his hands in front of him and preparing to respond accordingly. "I'm telling you once, I'm only here to stop you."

"No." The singer slammed his furious hands over the doctor's table, earning him an icy glare that he did not even bat an eye to notice. "You're telling me everything." 

 

 

 

---

 

 

The middle schooler Kim received a few judging looks for missing the goal and failing to make it for their team. In short, they lost because of him. Rumors had been spreading around the campus that the only reason he even got to join was because of his father and his booming reputation of donating a bounty amount of money in the school funds. Who would believe that the short and thin, young man with a mosquito voice earned his position because of talent and hard work?

 

 

 

The hinting rain finally poured down. A tall man with a dignified stance approached him with a sleek, black umbrella. "You almost had that one." His old man ruffled his brown curls attempting to cheer him up with their amusing inside jokes.

 

Only this time, the young Jong Kook wasn't pleased. "It's not funny." Frustrated, he dashed away from his father with brisk strides. He felt cheated. All he ever wanted was prove to everyone that he is his own self. He isn't a copy of his brothers no matter how much he has been compared to them and he is most certainly not in need of anyone's power to excel by his own means. 

 

"Jong Kook-ah." The heavy tone planted another batch of emotions that he has yet to understand. Being seen with him just proves that everyone else was right and he was sick of giving them a chance to believe so. He wanted to shout at him, tell him to leave him alone, but rage had the words tangled in his throat leaving him incapable of doing any of that and it made him feel more useless. 

 

Although now, he was at least more pleased with the rain than earlier. It hid the fact that he was, once again, crying. It also informed him of the distance between him and his father by listening to the sound his bigger feet made after touching the puddles.

 

It wasn't that far, but he could lose him now that he's nearer the roads. Another call asking him to stop was heard from behind and soon after it turned silent and got clouded by the starting storm, a heavy push threw him back and a stream of bright lights stung his eyes. The sensation of hitting the drenched pavement materialized on every inch of his body that he was thankful for the pair of firm hands that lifted him and set him upright on the grassy part of the ground. "Stay here." Those dark orbs were clear enough to make him rooted at the humid soil.

 

 

 

People started murmuring and it reminded him of the noises he heard at school and the whispers that haunted his nightmares. The little boy was too dazed to notice when he was lifted in one swift motion and strapped on a car that hinted a familiar forest smell. Soon enough, they were in a convoy with howling cars, flashing a bright, swirling red light. His brows arched with curiosity while his eyes roamed around him. Buildings fell and rose one after another, until he turned to see the man beside him who had his eyes fixed on the road. He wasn't a genius at reading people's minds, but he was sure that he could sense his father's fear.

 

 

 

 

 

They stopped at Mr. Kim's workplace. Dozens of passing people wearing either a pair of clean, blue clothes or a white coat welcomed their arrival. His relatively short legs followed the older man's pace while they both started towards the hallways. Not even a glance. Nothing. And Jong Kook's young mind started to get worried. Something was wrong and the hunch only strengthened when behind them, a woman lied down a moving bed with blood splattered all over her body.

 

 

 

 

It took hours, maybe even more, he had no idea, but he sat quietly outside the operating room, processing every little detail. Crystal clear was what it was and his foggy eyes produced tears. Tiny droplets falling on the back of his hands. Not long after that, the door opened with people, looking like the ones he saw when he alight, coming out of the room along with his father. 

 

The latter knelt down to meet his eyes, wrapping both of his hands over his shoulders. "I killed someone, didn't I?"

 

There it was again, the same look he had inside the car. Fear. "No." He gave him a look along the lines of 'I'll be back' so he stayed put because he trusts him. 

 

 

 

 

This time minutes passed as he sat alone. Without him realizing, the little drops started to fall again. A few people passed by him as he wept innocently and only one of them sat beside him, catching his moist hand.

 

Her palms were incredibly soft. He almost forgot why he was crying the moment it touched him and all he wanted was to hold it forever. His sobs soften and he turned to meet the face of the hand's owner. Jong Kook wished he had done it sooner because the touch he fancied so much was nothing compared to the comforting feeling her porcelain skin offered. Her cheeks were tinted with soft pink and her lips were as dark as rose. She batted her eyes gracefully as though they were dancing.

"Are you okay?" There was a challenging taunt in those orbs even with her full intent of offering consolation. "Do you know who's in there?" Her young voice was sweet and husky and it was piqued with interest, but his answer hardly mattered because at the moment he still marveled at the message in her eyes. It drew him in as if it was trying to tell him something.

 

 

 

"Oh, I'm glad you're okay." A high pitched voice that Jong Kook grew up with echoed in the corridors before someone pulled him into a tight hug. His and the little girls hands broke contact and for some reason he was upset. "I was so worried. Let's go home okay?" Only a pining look was what he assumed he replied to the girl's questions while his mother pulled him out of the hospital.

 

 

 

 

It was that night. He remembered. It was the time when everything changed.

 

 

The gathered memories never made actual sense before, now it meant the world. "That was Ji Hyo's mom? That woman. You told me she was alive." He paused, getting more confused as the story progressed. "What about her? Someone saved Ji Hyo, too. She was almost hit by a car, what happened then?"

 

 

"She was saving me, then?" His voice was too weak that he doubted the older man heard him. "She shouldn't have blamed her father, she shouldn't have blamed herself. It was me? All this time it was my ing fault" The older man didn't need to answer for him despise his very existence because now it's very clear to him that he was truly in love with Ji Hyo. It wasn't ego nor pride, she's the one person that made him trifle any of that. And now he feels like there's a huge hole in his chest because how can he let her be with someone like him. "I killed Ji Hyo's mom?" 

 

"You did not kill her, Jong Kook-ah." He heard that thousands of times as a child  and he foolishly believed it before. "It was an accident. She saved your life and I tried to save hers."

 

"But it doesn't matter, does it? It was all because of me." He hissed in gritted teeth. "That's why me being a doctor was so important to you. So I wouldn't feel guilty the moment I found out that I killed a person." His eyes started to sting and he could see nothing, but fiery red. "Because if I'm a doctor, like you, I'd ing believe that death is unquestionably normal." Jong Kook wailed without control. It was his fault. All this time, every hatred and self pity that he manifested could all be traced back to him. He felt a pair of arms colliding behind him, spooning him into a comforting embrace. He couldn't speak with his relentless sobbing so he childishly grabbed hold onto his father yearning for support. "I'm sorry." He spoke in between moans and the flashes of antagonism against his father dispersed, only this time, completely.

 

 

 

 

 

Ji Hyo still gaped speechless after hearing the news. The man he was supposed to marry in a few minutes apparently has a distant history with her and her family. So, he was there. She thought weakly. Her labored breathing came in long intervals. Before coming here, she was very unsure of what to do, now, it just turned clearer. "I-." She hummed another long pause for her mind seemed to be floating. "I have to go somewhere."

 

 

 

 

 

The wind was extra frigid at this part of Korea. Her long, white dress already had mud-stained ends and her wedding was long over, if it even began. Her father just left after a long debate of leaving her in the deep part of the Pohang province. She closed her eyes as the heavy wind touched her skin, sweeping away the strands of hair that Bo Mi worked so hard to put together.

 

As soon as her vision was back, her lips formed into perfect crescent, lighting up her face for the first time that day. She reached a hand to touch the cold marble in front of her, relishing the feeling as if it was alive. Her mind grew peaceful and all of her emotions were replaced by an absolute bliss.

 

 

"Hi, mom." She finally spoke, lips chapped from the negative degrees. "I can't remember the last time I was here. Was it last Christmas? I do remember it being as cold as today." Gently, she caressed the smooth stone. "You know-?" Her voice hitched when a sob uncontrollably switched with her words. "I'm sorry. A bit emotional after not getting married, it hurts, terribly." She feigned a smile even though no one was around and tears still flowed down her cheeks.

 

"I miss you, mom. I really wish you were here. Please, tell me what to do." The hand that was holding her mother's grave darted in front of to cover her cries. She shook her head while trying to take control of her emotions. "Sorry." She snapped trailing her eyes on the carved name. "I never told you, dad came back. I kept on looking for him. I kept on convincing myself that I shouldn't have lost him. I was too obsessed with him coming back that slowly, I lost you." She stopped trying. "I miss you so much, mom, and it's so unfair that it took so long for me to realize because now, I'm ready to let go."

 

"I am so sorry because I can't fight for you anymore. But I'm really, really tired, mom. I am so sick of harboring anger, of being so alone." A deep sigh escaped her lips before she whispered her next words. "And I am so tired of losing him." Ji Hyo tried to catch her breath, weeping as she did. "Is it okay, for me to finally let go?" She looked down for a second snorting at her own silliness, before looking back at the old, polished stone. "I know you have no way of answering that, but you're the kindest person I know and it's enough to know what you could be thinking. Nevertheless, I love him, mom. I love Kim Jong Kook." One last time, she lifted her right hand and traced the gold stylized dent with her gentle touch.

 

 

 

 

 

Ji Hyo's heart skipped a beat upon hearing the distressed query. A faint smile escaped her lips before facing the owner of the voice. His lips were clearly dried out of cold, almost matching hers. His bow-tie no longer was a bow, but a thin piece of cloth that hung around his neck. The buttons on his collar were also opened haphazardly and despite the freezing temperature, he seemed to have been sweating, his brown locks messily sprawled on his forehead. He looked terrible, but he was still the most handsome man she knew.  "How long have you been standing there?"

 

"It was not because of you." She murmured quietly.

"Still, I can't let you be with me Ji Hyo-ya?" He was clearly lying and Ji Hyo had never felt so happy.

"If that is true, what are you doing here?" She spoke slowly, but with full certainty and confidence.

 

He didn't quite expect her question. His lips parted and closed alternately, a few moments enough to not seem normal. "To apologize." He gestured beside her and she followed the direction to meet where her mom rested.

 

"Okay." She took a handful of her gown and started out of the memorial. Something electric buzzed when she walked past the man, probably from the static or maybe because of some denied reason, but she knew it was better to ignore it and proceeded to the exit.

 

Only before she could, a soft voice uttered. "Please wait for me."

 

She still kept silent, but offered a light nod, enough to warm the other person's torso.

 

 

 

 

Jong Kook emerged from the small building, anxious to see if she was still there. A gasp silently came out of his lips when he found the woman wearing a puffy white dress. Obviously enough, since she was the only person around, she stood out, so magnificently. He carefully closed their distance, stopping a meter away from her. She noticed his presence and focused her attention on him. 

 

"Everyday, you're going to wake up and my face, my voice, my very existence, will remind you of that moment, when a young boy took away your happiness." He huffed as he pushed the words out of him, finally accepting his fate, despite it seeming like every syllable was taking a piece out of him. "You will never forget and I'll forever be in your nightmares-."

 

He honestly wished she'd interrupt him, but the moment that it was done, he had no idea what to do next. "Ji Hyo." It was all he could muster before meeting a long and tight hug. One that took away his breath and kept him alive at the same time. It explained to him the meaning of acceptance and forgiveness that words never could. He moved away, just enough for him to see her bark colored jewels while still able to feel her warmth against him, contrasting every other part of his body.

 

 

He noted how created the most wonderful words he's ever heard and as soon as he was done, he pressed his lips onto the sweet and soft ones that Ji Hyo owned. It still amazed him how a simple gesture could make him so obsessed and his heart erratic. The moment it was over, all he wanted was do it again and maybe do it for the rest of his life. "I missed you."

 

She grinned angelically. "We were going to get married, what do you expect?"

"Will you marry me?" He asked sincerely. 

 

Confusion clouded her face, but it wasn't even a little disappointing. "I was."

 

Her brows furrowed even deeper with a smirk at the edge of . "Here? It's not exactly romantic."

"You're still in your wedding dress and still as beautiful as ever. I'm- well half-dressed. All we need is a minister. We're halfway through it, why not do it now?" He challenged and the spark that ignited on the corner of her eyes confirmed her answer.

 

She offered her hand and he took it with full vigor and enthusiasm. A sudden nostalgia of the young girl's hand that he encountered over a decade ago pacified his heart while contradictorily making it beat wildly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The weather wasn't perfect for an evening sprint, especially in one's wedding suit, but it worked for the both of them. It was like every night at running man where they desperately complete challenges in the middle of winds that crushed their lungs, but excited them equally. Their minds were free of who left who. No one cared whether the other lied or not before. Painful memories were forgotten and grudges had no room in both of them. Doubts weren't even close to reaching their thoughts, much less was fear. They were only occupied with the thoughts of one another and that they hold in their hands, their definition of till death do us part.