Minseok found himself shaking when he returned to the door. He had dropped his things by pure accident and walked straight to Junmyeon's room. Only to witness a scene where Junmyeon was writhering on his bed and Sehun on top of him. His mind went hazy as the rise of bile filled his throat. He went near the trash can and pucked, catching the attention of the two males who stopped their actions. Minseok's conscience flew as he heard Junmyeon shouting at Sehun to leave and to bring Kyungsoo. He doesn't know what happened then as he passed out. 

Junmyeon cradled the older in his arms, raking through his hair. The elder hasn't woken up in the past two hours and it's slightly scaring Junmyeon. He cursed in his mind for his careless actions with Sehun. He knew they should've locked the doors if something like that was going to happen. He rubbed his neck, grimacing as he sensed the small bruises going to appear later on. Kyungsoo had noticed the small prints around his neck and had given him a dark glance before focusing on his task. He continued to rake through the older's hair, wondering how bad Minseok feels. 

His thoughts were interrupted as the older woke up, eyebrows furrowing as he scrambled to sit up. Junmyeon placed his hand on his arm, causing Minseok to instantly relax. "Relax, hyung. You're fine." He said, a small smile etching  on his lips. Minseok nodded, scratching at his cheek. His mind was still hazy as Junmyeon gave him a pill and a glass of water. "What happened?" He asked, now looking at the younger with confusion. He noticed how disheveled Junmyeon's hair was and how his neck had some small red spots. Since Junmyeon is delicate he knows those will bruise later on. 

"You passed out. Chan says that you were in such a hurry to get into my room that you dropped your stuff on your way." Junmyeon's head tilted, looking straight into Minseok's eyes. "Do you remember why?" He asked, hands playing with each other. Minseok looked down at his lap, trying to remember why. His head snapped up when he heard Junmyeon's phone vibrate. Like a lightbulb , his thoughts came jumbling in. He bit his lip, looking anywhere but at Junmyeon. 

"He called." 

Junmyeon only sighed, "What did he say?" He asked, trying to get Minseok to look at him. "In short, he said he wanted to talk to me in person. He's landing in Korea, Junmyeon." He finally looked up, eyes filled with anxiety and fear as he stared at Junmyeon's brown eyes. The younger looked away and sighed again. 

"I don't know what to do." Minseok softly said, looking back down at his lap. Junmyeon brought the elder in a small embrace. "Just talk to him. It might be hard to see him but you need closure. You need to talk to him. I won't let you back away." He said, rubbing Minseok's arm in a comfortable way. The elder closed his eyes, nodding slowly. 

"I think the reason why I passed out and all was because I was scared and I didn't know what to do– then I saw you and Sehun." He looked up quickly, causing Junmyeon to finch as he pulled away. "Why?" He asked, shifting onto his knees, "why do you let him do these things to you?"

Junmyeon swallowed thickly, trying to find his way out but Minseok kept prodding him. Sooner than later, Minseok was holding onto his wrists and forcing Junmyeon to look at him. He kept asking, eyes watering as he pointed to Junmyeon's marks. 

Why? Why do you keep letting Sehun do this?

Why? Whywhywhywhy?

And Junmyeon's only response was a small, "Because I hurt him." with tears drawing down his cheeks.

Chanyeol was calmly eating his grapes, it has been two days since Minseok had his episode and he couldn't help but be bothered about it. He didn't talk much to Baekhyun who wonder around aimlessly. It had taken a toll on the shorter for Chanyeol was the only person he really liked talking to. The taller started to help out more and apologized to Kyungsoo the most for everything that he had done. He would like to say that he's getting better, starting slowly. He doesn't know when Kyungsoo or Junmyeon would forgive him but he's gaining their trust slowly. And to be frank, he's quite glad that he's recovering from his past actions. 

He's slowly pouring juice into a cup when Junmyeon and Minseok walk out together. He gives them a smile and a nod of his head as he continues pouring his juice. Minseok gives a weary smile as they both sit down at the table. The three make small talk, bringing up different topics and settling with small laughs.

But today was also the day Minseok would have to face Lu. All morning he had felt queasy and Junmyeon tried to tell him that it would be okay and that he shouldn't worry so much. They were going to meet up at an isolated cafe somewhere around the evening. Lu had sent him the address and everything the day before. The rest of the members, besides Junmyeon, were oblivious to his unease the whole afternoon. It was a lazy day so everyone was either in their rooms or out of the dorm. The marks on Junmyeon's neck were covered in foundation so no one knew but Minseok would ask about them at night when no one was awake. 

It was scary to leave later on, Minseok sensed as he took a taxi to the distination he was due to be at. He kept thinking about the small exercises Junmyeon taught him when he was feeling nervous. He played with his fingers to keep his mind away and bit his lips in anticipation. 

Soon he was brought to the cafe and with shaky legs he made his way inside. He payed earlier with a shaky hand, apologizing when he dropped a bill. His mind was set but he was so fidgety. He walked to the table Lu had texted him with, ordering a Flat White. He was a few minutes early, sipping his coffee diligently. Just as he was thinking about what he was going to say, came a voice he knew so well. 

"Hey." He said, a smile gracing his lips. Minseok looked up to meet Lu's brown orbs. He sat down across from him, keeping his smile on. There was visible tension, Minseok looking down at his mug as he tried to bring some subject up. 

"How have you been?" Lu asked, his drink being set down on the table. The older of the two just sighed, "It's been...straining. Did you know about Junmyeon?" He replied, finally staring straight at the younger. To his surprise Lu nodded. 

"Yes, I've known. Us three knew. We were close to him in a sense. Is something going on that would make you bring this subject up?" Lu furrowed his eyebrows, recalling the times Junmyeon would call him at night to talk his thoughts and how he would listen to Junmyeon cry from the agony of living like that. Minseok gulped, "Well...he's been letting Sehun have his way." He mumbled, hands wrapping around his mug. He heard Lu sigh and he wanted to pry more onto the subject but he knew that their meeting wasn't about Junmyeon but about themselves.

"Minseok...first of all, I'm sorry–" "No. Don't be." Minseok interrupted the younger from continuing. He cleared his throat, eyes flicking around, "You shouldn't be sorry. I'm the one who should be." 

Lu stayed quiet, taking a sip from his café au lait. 

"I'm sorry I didn't like you back. I'm sorry I lead you on. I'm sorry that I fed off your fame. I'm so sorry for making you think I really liked you." He said, biting his lip. Lu watched him, his lips when Minseok didn't say anything. "And I'm sorry I kept you when you didn't like me. I really did at the time. Until I noticed that you weren't feeling the same. So I tried to distance myself from you. It hurt a lot, to know you didn't like me back and pretended you did." Lu said, sighing and leaning back into his seat. 

Minseok felt his eyes water but he didn't want to cry, not now. "Lu Han..." he started, catching the younger's attention, "I...like you...after you left..I-I started t-to feel so lonely. You were...m-my everything. And I've felt so hollow when you weren't there." He told himself not to cry but he could feel the tears reach the brim. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I just–"

"Minseok." At his name, his head snapped up, "It's okay...to feel like that. But you're only feeling like that because you miss having the affection. It's not because you like me." Lu said, voice firm but Minseok knew that he wanted to cry too. 

Lu laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling as the events from earlier came to mind. He closed his eyes, sighing before turning to his side. It was one in the morning and he couldn't sleep. Not with the weird feeling he had going on.

Not since those words rang through his mind. 

"Can we try again?" 

Part of him wanted to yell and scream no but the other part of him wanted to say yes. 

And he hesitantly agreed.

Was this a good idea? he thought, closing his eyes again as he tried to fall asleep.

i'm sick

also im sorry for the immense typos in my chapters. i am a very lazy writer. even more when im sick

thoughts and comments are always welcomed. 谢谢。