chapter seven: the star

"past the very dark forest, a white star fell upon the world. it was a night where nothing special was going on."   

For the first time in her lifetime, Huiying has to lie.

It's kind of weird to cover up for her brother but hey, this is a little plan they're holding for their dear sister. Hyerin had waken up earlier than they've expected. Often times, especially that today is their approved day-off, she wakes up around nine in the morning or later. Unfortunately, she woke up around quarter to eight, which was technically fifteen minutes or seventeen minutes after Jonathan had left for somewhere. Hyerin was rather panicking on where their brother had headed of and Huiying, being a genius she actually is, hurries to formulate a genius excuse.

"Well?" Hyerin frowned as she eyed the youngest, who was refusing to let go of her innocent role that easily. "Where's Jonathan off to? Why'd he not tell me where he went?" she pouted.

"Erm, uh..." Huiying blinked, still formulating a perfect excuse. "Erm.. I... I don't know, eonni."

"Impossible. That guy doesn't leave the house not telling anyone where he'll be." she sighs as she eyes the youngest. "Huiying, I know that you are fully aware on where your brother is. Come on, it's bad to lie, remember? Tell me the truth and I won't be angry."

Huiying knew Hyerin like an open book. She had learned her personality better than anyone else, but not better than Jonathan of course. She's just familiar on how Hyerin can act. An angered Hyerin is never the beautiful one. And even if Hyerin promises it, she can never controlled an enraged version of hers. 

So she isn't sure if she can trust Hyerin's words this time.

Ding. Formulating the perfect excuse has been completed.

"Fine, you caught me." Huiying breathed out before she puts on her cutest facial expression. She always knew that the eldest can't stand the youngest's cute acts. "Jo-oppa and I are preparing a special surprise for you." she smiled innocently, which made Hyerin huff.

"And what surprise perhaps?"

"Cake!"

"... Eh?"

"We're buying you cake and other pastries! You like strawberry shortcake, right? He's buying that for you." Huiying says before she pouted. "But now, it's not a surprise anymore since you forced it outta me." she sighed, trying to make the eldest guilty. "Oppa really wanted it to run well, but oh well..."

"Oh, no, no, I didn't mean to!" Hyerin frowned, shaking her hands in front of her face as she holds her sister. "Okay, let's just pretend none of this happened, okay? Let's pretend I still don't know about Jonathan's surprise, yeah?"

Despite still pouting, Huiying nodded. "Good. I'll just head of and start breakfast, yeah? Have you eaten already?" she asks.

"No." she smiles cutely, clinging onto the eldest sibling tight. "Let's have scrambled eggs, can we? And, and bacon!"

"Fine, fine." she laughs.

Huiying actually felt choked. Despite her cute looks masking her lies, she can only feel guilty in taking her sister's trait of being gullible. She always knew how gullible Hyerin can be, and now, she's actually manipulating her using the same weakness the eldest wields. Huiying felt bad. But this was the only way to make their "real" plan go. 

Lie. 

Jonathan would be lying if he claimed that he is comfortable strolling down the Seoul streets alone. He's always been used to have one or two people accompanying him along, basically his sisters or a few friends of his in the music industry. But now? he's walking all by himself, his cap pulled down to cover his face and a scarf enough to cover his mouth and neck. He's quite tensed. What if the public notices him? He knows how fans act. Pull you, chase you, scream your name and keep on tracking you down.

Usually, Hyerin deals with those kinds of things, but is Hyerin here? No. It's just Jonathan and Jonathan alone. So if the public notices him, the fans see him, he'll get chased down.

Jonathan never liked running, but if ever that worse-case scenario happens, that's his only option. Or maybe he can just be patient enough to entertain a few of them? Take a few pictures together, greet them or give them his autograph? Yeah, he can do that too.

He continued walking down. He knew that a few had noticed him, based on how they were taking pictures of him and whispering things like "Is that Jonathan?" or something else. He knew that he had garnered a few fans' attention and that was confirmed when a small trail of girls followed him behind. He wanted to ignore this and kept walking faster. He's not exactly afraid, but he's panicking on how he must act. 

But soon enough, he saw his destination.

Ingkiyayo Building.

There it is. 

Jonathan sprinted, probably surprise the Pyxis behind him, who were trailing him carefully. The male sprinted towards the building. Pandora Street is also scheduled to have a performance today, but because they managed to convince their boss for a day-off, their performance would be moved. But still, his sudden arrival there was surprising perhaps.

And hurriedly, he slides in. 

It seems like the show hasn't started yet. Though some were already up, preparing the background and the stage itself. There were a few eager fans waiting and Jonathan needs to slide without being noticed. He has been in this place for so many times that it'll be a lie if he says he's lost. Everything was so typical for him now. 

And he has to hurry to launch his plan.

Carefully, he walks down the backstage rooms, where perhaps the two people he would pay an uninvited visit to are. It's already in the middle of the day, and he's definitely sure Hyerin has noticed things, so he ahs to act quick. Well, he had to stall time earlier because coming here too early would be odd. He had to wait for every idol performers to be there.

And there it was.

The first room.

Carefully, he took a peek and listened to the conversations inside. It was quiet, thus, he knew that the room is empty. With trembling hands, he headed inside. As expected, it was empty. There was no one there.

For now.

"You!" a voice came behind him, making Jonathan's heart nearly fall on the floor. He was surprised and frozen. He knew whose voice that belongs to and for some reason, he felt tensed upon hearing that. "You! Show your face and tell me what you're here for!" the vocie's owner commanded, but still Jonathan felt frozen on place. He can't move. Was it because he hasn't heard that voice onversing with him for so long? Was that it? And to think of it, he always wanted to hear that voice talking to him once more. Here it was, but all he can feel is fear and anxiety and tension! 

"I'll count to three and if you don't show who you are, I'll call the security!" the other threatened. "One...! .... Two! Thr—"

"Calm down, it's me!" Jonathan finally blurted out as he removed his cap and fixed his scarf, enough to reveal his once hidden face. He tried to flash a comforting smile to the owner of the said dresssing room and soon enough, that smile fell as tears welled up in his eyes. He is actually standing in front of him. 

"Hi," he smiled before bowed politely. "It's been long, huh, Baekhyun-sunbaenim?" he softly greeted, trying to sound as well as he can be. 

Baekhyun, with his make-up fully done and his famous eyeliner-style place on his face, had his mouth agape upon seeing the fully grown jonathan in front of him. He had rather grown taller than him. Yes, he sees him when Pandora Street makes their performance, but he had enver really pushed himself to confront their "son". He hasn't even noticed on how much mature-looking the once child-like Jonathan was. Yes, he did look mature for his age but now? His age matched his looks at last. "Jonathan?" he blinked in surprise before he registered this "stranger" he had found in his room. "Why... what are you doing here? In those clothes too! Don't you have a performance toda—"

"Our performance will be moved tomorrow." he smiled before he tries to avert his eyes away from this so called "dad" of theirs. "I'm... sorry if I suddenly barged in here out of the blue."

"It's okay, but... I... why are you here? In my room? Where are your... groupmmates?"

"Home."

"Then why?"

"I need to ask a favor to you, you see, senior." Jonathan smiled softly.

Though it wasn't obvious, it pained Baekhyun. He had always been used to being called "senior" by junior idols. Lots of new groups, girl and boy, and some even co-ed, had debuted throughout the past and current year. But having someone once close to him call him in such way? It made his heart wrench. He had always wanted to hear the word "dad" from them, but this time? It's just a simple "senior". "Oh, is that so?" he smiled softly before he sits down. "What is it?"

"I... need your help." he softly began. "You see... we are planning on—"

"Baekhyun! Are you in here?" 

Both Jonathan and baekhyun froze upon seeing who had just burst out from outside. A particualar face that was definitely familiar to both of them. Jonathan, though, looked more astonished while Baekhyun calmly greeted the visitor with a warm, beagle-like smile. "You nearly gave me a heart attack. Don't do that again, will you, Suho?" Baekhyun laughed lightly.

Suho, the one who had just entered his "friend's" room, now had his eyes on Jonathan. After so many years, Suho can enver forget his face, most definitely because he always sees him in music performances. But despite so, he can never deny that he missed Jonathan. "Jonathan?" he gasped as he saw the younger. "You... what is he?"

"Just paying a visit, calm down. Anyways, what do you need?" Baekhyun asks.

"I'm going to ask if I can drop by here for a while. Pretty lonely at my dressing room." Suho breathed out. "The stylists had an emergency and would be coming later than expected. Manager went off to buy snacks. You get what I am trying to say, yeah?"

"Totally."

"Wait," Jonathan breathed out, surprised at Baekhyun and Suho's closeness. "You two... never lost contact?" he blinked.

"Of course not." Suho smiled before he tries to ruffle Jonathan's hair. "Me and Baek had always been close, and not even the fact that we both had went solo would break that. And we see each other everytime. There's no excuse on not being close to him."

"But you're...—"

"Ex-members? Ex-groupmates? That doesn't matter now." Baekhyun grinned, somewhat comfortable now that he's not alone with Jonathan. "That's not a reason to not be close. We're still brothers, that is. And nothing can dictate or erase that one fact." he laughs. "Not even disbandment."

Jonathan felt warm all of the sudden. He never expected the two would still be close despite the group's disbandment years ago. Despite being in different, fighting companies, the two had retained friends. Close friends. Was this the magic of brotherhood he had heard from a few seniors back then? If so, it is indeed amazing. He watched in joy now that his "fathers" are still close, talking comfortably as if nothing terrible had existed back then between the group members. "So, what brings you here?" suho asks as he eyes Jonathan. "Never thought you and Baekhyun are close."

"We... aren't, really. I just came here to ask him— no, both of you, a small favor." Jonathan softly says, sitting down on the seat Suho had offered to him a second ago. "I... I don't know how to say it."

"Calm down and just spit it out." Baekhyun chuckled as he leaned forward, fixing his hair and eyeing the perfectly drawn eyeliner on his eyes. "I'll be on camera a few minutes later so you better talk, Jonathan." he joked.

Jonathan tensed once more, not knowing how to say things. 

Will he just blurt it out?

Or will he stall? But if he does, Baekhyun might go off because he needs to shoot. Suho is pretty busy too, being one of the competitors for the number one place in music charts. Baekhyun, similar to Suho, is also fighting for the number one place. Being former EXO members, they are gaining quite huge attention from the public, and too much meant that both of them are nearly equal. Consider the other famous and trending idol groups as well! They've got to fight. 

"Jonathan?" Suho called out, snapping Jonathan back to reality. "Well? What is it?"

"I..." he breathed out. "I need your help in rounding up EXO."

It was as if the air grew stale that Baekhyun choked on his own spit and Suho froze in his place.Jonathan wasn't sure if he brought the topic out well, but based on how the two olders are reacting, he knew it wasn't well. He soon fidgeted on his place as he averts his eyes away from the two. When the sudden information finally registered in the two's head, Baekhyun was first to stand up and react greatly. "No! I won't do it." he hissed. "I... I'm not bringing those idiots back!"

"Baekhyun!" Suho scolded. "Calm down—"

"Please, sunbae, I really need your help. Perhaps you know where the others are residing. I... we need to bring them back again. We need to mend your group again." Jonathan pleaded with sorrowful eyes. "I beg of you."

"Why? So we can break more promises once more? So that we can hurt each other again? Hella no! I'm not in it!" Baekhyun cried in great anger. "In fact, I won't even want to see 'em again! I'm glad we disbanded so I can't see those ugly faces of thei—"

"Byun Baekhyun!" Suho cried out, not being able to bear the younger's sudden rage. "You mustn't talk about your brothers like that!"

"Brothers? Brothers, Suho?! We aren't brothers! They left us hanging and what's that? Didn't we promise to be together? To be one? What did they do? Became selfish and went their separate ways! We have no promise-breaking brothers, Kim Joonmyun!"

Jonathan felt the air grow thick and all of the sudden, that stinging sensation burning on his lids and the scene happening in front of him made him choke and wheeze. He's never been good at these kinds of things. He needed Hyerin. His sister. He needs her. "Jonathan? Jonathan!" Suho cried out in terror as he saw the younger suddenly raising his hands to grab the sides of his head, as if he was terrified of what was happening. His breathing was abnormal and he was wheezing. "Hey! What's wrong? Calm down! Baekhyun! Help me here!" 

Baekhyun acted fast and grabbed a bottle of water for Jonathan to drink. Right after calming down, Jonathan breathed normally, but sobs were choking in his words. But still, he didn't let himself get conquered by his emotions. Trying his best, he tried his very best to form and choke out the words. "I-I don't know what exactly happened between you twelve, but please. Please. You have got to help me." Jonathan begged weakly.

"Why are you so wanting in mending our group back again? Why are you so concerned anyway, Jonathan?" Suho asked. "What's the reason behind this?"

Jonathan cannot tell them.

But if it is the reason for them to agree, shall he?

"... You might not believe it, but..." he hesitated, but it was too late. he had grabbed Baekhyun and Suho's attention already. "Hyerin-noona's sick. Sick with brain tumor. And her days are counted."

The air went thick.

"Brain tumor?" Baekhyun faltered. "Y-you're joking, right?"

"I hope I was, but no." Jonathan shook his head. "Me and Huiying... are planning on fixing up EXO for her. She has been one of the most affected once since your sudden disbandment. I can't... bear to see our sister still in pain as she suffers that stupid sickness. And she always wanted the group fixed so—"

"So you thought you'd seek our assistance?"

"... Yes."

Baekhyun and Suho paused before they eyed each other. Jonathan breathed out before he exits the room, knowing that the two former EXO members would eventually disagree with his proposed idea. Thus, the younger simply excused himself outside and headed off home. 

"... Should we help him?" Suho asks as he eyes Baekhyun hesitantly.

"What? Round up the others? No. You can, but I'm not joining." Baekhyun huffed. "I'm not going to take another hectic look at those ten."

"But you're still a part of EXO. If you're not there, we're not complete."

"'Course it will be! Nobody cares about each other. Bet they won't even notice me, Suho."

"Baekhyun—"

"I'm not going to help."

Suho huffed. "We're going to do this for our 'daughter', not for us twelve. She's going to die, as what Jonathan had told us. At least let's make it up to her, okay? That kid's got too much. Being sick, being a leader, being a daughter who lost her fathers, being an orphan. Don't you think she and her siblings had had enough?"

Baekhyun paused. Suho made sense, and he hated how he did. He's always in the losing side. In a split second , he felt Suho pat his head, like how he did before EXO even became a hit. "Besides, EXO can never be complete without our beagle Byun." he laughed. "Come on, let's help the kid out. After that, let the things just go on naturally. If we get together again, then fine. if not, we return to our normal lives. Please?"

"... I don't know." Baekhyun sighed. 

"Fine." Suho sighed, giving it up. "I'll join the rounding up. It's up to you if you don't, but if you really care about those three like a real father you are to them, you would. No matter what." and with that, Suho exits Baekhyun's room, running after Jonathan.

Baekhyun can only eye at his reflection.

The eyeliner. His Beagleness. Everything. He's Byun Baekhyun. The same Baekhyun from before. Only stronger, maybe?

No. He's still a coward. He's still that unmanly man that screamed like a little girl when they entered the haunted house. He's still that weakling that can't even beat Kris in an arm-wrestling battle. The same guy who offered a polaroid picture of himself to a fellow groupmmate. Taeyeon's ex-boyfriend. The same SNSD fanboy.

He's still him.

... The father of three orphan kids.

"I hate you, Kim Joonmyun." he sighed as he closed his eyes.

"Jonathan! Lee Jonathan!" Suho shouted as he chased Jonathan, who was almost outside the Ingkiyao building. Fixing his cap and scarf a bit, he eyed Suho behind him, surprised on why the older was trailing him. 

"Why?" he blinked.

"I'm helping." he smiled as he pats the younger's head. "Count me in. I'll join this mending EXO project whole-heartedly." Suho laughed, making Jonathan smile from ear to ear. 

"Really?"

"Mhm." he nodded.

"How about your... schedule?"

"Ditched it." Suho winked. "Come on, let's start rounding up the members, yeah?"

"... Okay."

"You guys aren't going anywhere without me!"

Upon hearnig that familiar voice, Jonathan and Suho turned around, only to see baekhyun running towards them, trying to catch up. When he did, he was panting heavily, holding onto Jonathan's shoulder for support. "Geez, can't you guys wait for the almighty Byun?"

"... I thought you weren't going to join?" Suho asked.

"Change of plans. Puh-leese, since we were in EXO, I've always had the spotlight." he boasted out, grinning. "So, I better join too, yeah? Or else you won't succeed." he joked.

"Are you serious? You'll join us too, sunbae?" Jonathan smiled excitedly.

"Of course." he winked. "But please, can you just call me the same way you used to before? 'Senior' sounds too... uncomfortable." he breathed out as he ruffled Jonathan's hair. "Senior makes me look old. And I'm freaking young."

"Fine, fine." Jonathan laughed as he eyed the two. "I get it now, Baekhyun-appa."