chapter nineteen: thunder

"like thunder, i was too late, now i'm finally looking for you... i'm too late as i call out to you."   

It's not the first time she's landed in China throughout her whole life.

Being a member of an idol group, Huiying had rather flew off to different countries with her siblings and former groupmates. They've been in various places, various continents, holding up concerts and attending various shows for interview or variety. In fact, the airport is quite a normal place for them to go to now. Riding planes is just a typical thing. Going here and there, pulling their luggages or at least carrying their bags, it's normal. 

China was one of the places Pandora Street often go to. Even prior their debut, they've joined a few seniors of SM Entertainment whenever they'd go on tour for this so called "SM Town Concert". They'd be in the limelight when the announcer would call them out as "SM's Golden Rookies". They'd perform with fellow chosen trainees, three of those trainees which they ended up being in the same group then.  They attend Happy Camp there often for variety and so. They've also held rather held various activities there. Interviews, interviews, and more interviews. Oh, they did join games there too and holding a small show that includes them dancing and all.

"So, where is our first destination?" Xiumin asks as he eyes down Huiying. Despite accompanying the young female idol down there in China, he still isn't used to seeing their once little baby girl Huiying as a fully-grown woman in her early twenties. He wasn't used of her long, straight hair now dyed in a beautiful brownish-black color. Xiumin can never get used on how slim her body was now, showcasing a perfect S-Line that contradicted her face full of cuteness about to explode. He wasn't used of the eyeliner and fake lashes she now sports. He wasn't used on the rose-pink lipstick tainting her small lips. He wasn't used to see Huiying as a grown up. "No, what a better question would be, who do we first look for?" he asks, fixing the spectacles he was wearing.  "I'm not that familiar anymore with China, so you better be the guide to where we go, okay?"

"Don't worry." Huiying smiles as she fixes her hair. "I'll be the perfect guide. I wouldn't want to risk you to be a potential internation missing child now, would I?"

"Huiying, dear, I'm thirty-nine years old now. I'm anything but a child—"

"You look as if you never aged, so you're still going to be seen as a child no matter what." Huiying laughed as she casually links her arms with Xiumin's. "I'm planning on going over at Changsha."

"Eh? Why?"

"No particular plan, but I have this feeling we'd find someone there." Huiying smiles.

Xiumin could only blink. If there's one distinct thing that didn't change aside from Huiying's uncontrollable aegyo attacks, it would be her irrational trust with her guts and hunches. There was even one time, prior Pandora Street's debut, Xiumin had actually witnessed Huiying's "trusting my guts" and so when she was first experiencing the stage's secret doors when they were rehearsing. That was around during their SM Town Concert in the Philippines. She resorted into trusting her guts and ended up slipping numerous times and hitting her head occassionally. She even nearly got hit by the fireworks that was done during their special stage! 

But not wanting to show his growing doubt on the young female, he simply gets quiet. "Who do you think we'd see first?" Xiumin questions, eyeing Huiying who was busy scrolling through her phone.

"Well, Luhan-appa and Kris-appa are the most popular EXO members here in China, so maybe either of them." Huiying replies as she looks up at Xiumin. "But as far as I've heard, Tao-appa and Lay-appa are as popular as the other two are now, so who knows?" 

Xiumin can only smile.

Indeed, their once baby angel had grown into a true lady.

Changsha. As per usual, the place is quite buzzing with people. Simply strolling down the streets was already a big thing to cope up with. Unlike back in Korea, China could be said to be something "busier" with people. Well, with the rising population, that is to be expected, right? 

Xiumin was rather baffled by the sudden new environment. Yes, orphanages were usually crowded and equally noisy, but it was because of those little, angel-faced kids that had innocent minds and thoughts towards the world. Here, on the other hand, noise and unorderliness was showcased by both kids and adults. 

Huiying, on the other hand, wasn't rather dumbfounded. Instead, she acted as if everything was just a daily thing. She continued to stroll down the street with Xiumin close to him, avoiding people who suddenly and nearly came across her way, and so on. She just... continued being a lady. Maybe those hoards of screaming fans really had an advantage.

"Huiying, I don't want to be the one to say this, but," Xiumin began, garnering the younger female's attention. "I don't think we'd find anyone if we just continued walking around with no plans."

"Trust me, I know what my guts are saying." Huiying chirpped.

"Huiying Chang, your very same 'guts' were nearly the reason you fell down the stage during your first stage—" he reminded.

"D'aw, I was a rookie back then. I didn't know how stages worked!" she grinned. 

Xiumin was rather amazed on how Huiying was acting. It kind of reminded him of Hyerin, who she was taking after. Hyerin and her optimistic nature. Hyerin and her strong-willed nature. It kind of reminded him of mothers around the world, especially his mother, but if he looked at it in a different angle, she reminds her of another member's mother more. 

Kai's.

Kai's mother was somewhat like her. Strong-willed, all smiles, everything. He could even recall that like Hyerin, Kai's mother was a big fan of angel figurines. She was more like Kai's mother for some unknown reason. 

But that's not the real thing they should bother minding for now, right? Finding at least one member must be the objective here—

"I told you my guts were right!" Xiumin hears Huiying cry, making him snap back to reality. He sees Huiying jumping happily as she points off in the distance. Squinting his eyes, Xiumin managed to see a hoard of people gathering at a specific building, carrying cameras and their phones up above the air. There was a rather inaudible sound of squealing and a particular name being screamed by the girls gathered there. "There's a hoard of fans there, and you know what that means!"

Xiumin sighed. "Huiying, not all famous people are former members of EXO. It might be just some other actor or actress or any other famous individual they are hoarding over."

"It wouldn't kill us if we checked, right?" 

"Not really, but it might." Xiumin pouted. He wasn't used to thick crowds of people screaming right at him and pulling him, almost ripping his clothes off of him. "You're a worldwide famous idol, Huiying. I'm a former member of a hot international-famous idol group. It might attract people still."

"Relax!" Huiying giggled as she held tight on Xiumin's hand. "I've learned from my Hyerin-eonni and Jo-oppa the great ways to scoot in a thick crowd with ease and without garnering any attention!"

"What?"

"Just run like crazy and you've got it!" she grins as she darts straight to the building, dragging a dumbfounded and slightly shrieking Xiumin behind. 

Xiumin was beyond the state they call "surprised". He was something like both surprised, yet completely amazed. 

Apparently, they faced an obstacle after they managed to conquered the thick fans, a guard instantly tried to hold them back, mistaking them to be one of those hardcore fans. To his surprise, young genius Huiying managed to convince the guard to let them in. Xiumin wasn't really able to cope up to whatever they were talking about, being one reason was that they were speaking in straight Mandarin. Next, he was basically out of practice in speaking such language, being one who hadn't had any Mandarin lessons for quite some time now. 

And now, they were inside the building, behind the stage and simply being awkward, or maybe it was just him. Huiying was rather comfortable in the backstage, pacing around and greeting a few people that went to and fro. She was smiling at them brightly, greeting them and even holding small talks with those who were told to stay in the backstage. 

Soon enough, there was a shout that Xiumin recognized as "Cut!" and people from the stage itself came hurrying back. There were more people, and that made Xiumin a bit more uncomfortable. "Say, Huiying," he softly calls out, tugging on the younger's arm. "What're we here for?"

"Well, variety shows are often where famous people go, right?" Huiying grinned. "My hunches say that a member is here."

"Huiying," Xiumin finally sighs deeply. "Again, you can't always trust your hunches. What if there's none here? We just wasted our time waiting for nearly an hour and a half waiting for nothing."

"I swear!" Huiying pouted, looking up cutely at Xiumin. "I know someone is here— oh my gosh, is that Lay-appa?!"

Xiumin's eyes widened twice as it is from normal before he looked up, trying to scan the place for a familiar looking dimpled male. It took him quite a long time before he saw Lay, with his now chestnut-colored hair. He was wearing casual clothes, talking with a few staff, smiling and showing those famous dimples of his. He wasn't able to react any sooner, but did when he saw the excited Huiying running towards Lay. "Lay-appa!"

Lay quickly turned around and wasn't given any time to react when a figure tackled him for a tight bear hug. He nearly fell, but thanks to his quick reflexes, he easily got hold of his balance, slightly pulling himself away from the female hugging him. he had to look a bit harder to notice who it was, and when he did, a wide grin crept on his face. "Huiying?" he gasps.

"Appa!" she greeted in fluent Chinese with extreme bliss as she hugs Lay tightly, only to be replied with a tighter hug that somewhat conveys on how much the dimpled one had missed the young lady greatly. "It really is you! I didn't expect to actually see you here. My gosh, I missed you!" the young lady excitedly says as she tightened her hug on Lay.

"Same here. What more is it to me?" Lay asks in Chinese as he ruffles her hair. "I never really thought you'd be here in China! I never even thought I'd see you again face to face. Goodness, how long has it been? I missed you!"

Xiumin was about to make his way towards the two when another familiar voice came out from behind him.

"Lay-gege, have you seen where my staff crew stayed?" 

Xiumin turned around and there he was.

Huang Tao. The youngest Chinese member— or so, a former member and the youngest Chinese member of EXO. Tao hasn't changed neither. He is still sporting those infamous circles on his eyes that made him similar to a panda, his favorite animal. He was taller compared to he was before in their salad days. He appeared to be more fit now too, and Xiumin's sure that underneath those long sleeves were well-formed muscles. Tao stopped in his tracks though, mainly because he saw Lay hugging a familiar-looking female and because Xiumin was literally five feet away from him. "What... what are you..." Tao blinked in surprise as he finally recognizes Xiumin and the young lady Lay was hugging to be Huiying. "What are you... doing here—"

"Zitao!" Lay chirpped as he lets Huiying go and darts towards Tao, smiling widely. "Can you believe this? Huiying and Xiumin-hyung are here! They're actually here in China, live! Can you believe this?"

Huiying had found her way back beside Xiumin as she eyes Tao and Lay conversing in Chinese. Tao looked rather baffled upon seeing them two while Lay was rather overcome more by happiness. "What... how, h-how are they here? What are you two doing here?" Tao asks in a way that startled Huiying and surprised Xiumin. Tao had never raised his voice to any member but Baekhyun, but that was a long time ago. "Y-you should be back in Korea! H-Huiying's supposed to be busy with Pandora Street's schedules! Why are you two together? Why are you here—"

"Zitao, calm down." Xiumin tried to say as he slowly approached the younger, speaking in Chinese as hard as he could. He was trying to recall every bit of Chinese word he knows as he paces towards the astonished Chinese. "I.. Huiying... search and Hyerin—"

"We're here to visit you, and to discuss a thing with both of you." Huiying managed to say, seeing that Xiumin wasn't as fluent as he was back then in Chinese. "But before any of that, Tao-appa, calm down. You should seriously breathe."

Tao nodded and tried calming himself down. Lay assisted Tao and the two visitors to his room, where the staffs were supposedly sitting to wait. Alas, they weren't exactly there so they had the room for themselves. Once everyone was seated, Huiying was first to speak, asking if the two Chinese still remembers how to speak in Korean. When they nodded, she requested the two to speak in the said language for the sake of Xiumin understanding them. Even if they speak a bit crooked, it'd be fine. Surely, Xiumin would understand. "So," she began. "How are you two? I haven't heard much about you after, well, you know..."

"We're fine, actually." Lay smiled. "Well, I'm a host in my own variety show and is sometimes asked to join to MC along in Happy Camp. I'm an entertainer now, Huiying."

"I'm an actor now." Tao says right after Lay finishes. Unlike the dimpled older, Tao was rather looking shy as he was avoiding any eye contact with Xiumin and Huiying. 

"An actor?" Xiumin smiles, obviously proud over the younger. "Really?"

"Mhm!" Lay nodded. "He's a guest for today's show, and yes, Tao here's an actor now. He's starred in a few martial-arts movies. He even acted in a romance movie before with a few popular stars here in China. Isn't he amazing?"

"I always knew Tao here had some hidden acting skills." Xiumin grinned, only making Tao blush into a scarlet color.

"How about you two? What're you, well, busying yourselves with?" a curious Tao asks in a soft manner. 

"Well, I'm still in Pandora Street, though we've lost yet another member." Huiying huffs before she turns to Xiumin. "Xiumin-appa here is an charity worker now, and basically, that's how I met him again. He was in the orphanage where me and my siblings had come from and yeah, we kind of met again there."

"Speaking of the two," Lay smiled excitedly. "How's Hyerin and Jonathan?"

"They're both fine. Jo-oppa's starting off well in the acting scenes and had been featured in a few fellow soloists' and fellow idol groups' album tracks." Huiying smiled before her facial expression fell into that of a faint frown. "Though... Hyerin-eonni..."

"Is something wrong?" Tao worriedly asks. "What's up with Hyerin?"

Xiumin felt the cold air hit him when he hears Tao's question. Worriedly, he eyes the now pale-looking Huiying who seems to not know how to open up the fact that Hyerin's suffering a terrible case of brain tumor and her remaining days are now cut short. When she'll die, it's unknown, so it can be anytime. The news of losing a special someone anytime... how could anyone possibly open up such topic so casually? "Huiying?" Lay calls out, making Huiying snap back to reality. "Hey, are you okay?" he asks in Chinese, worry evident in his black orbs.

"Hyerin-eonni, well, promise me you wouldn't flip the living lights out of yourselves first." Huiying frowned. When the two Chinese males nodded, she took a sharp intake of breath before she finally spills the beans. "Eonni, well... she's sick."

"Sick?" Tao blinked.

"With..." another cough. "With... brain tumor."

There was silence for an entire minute and thirty or twenty seconds before Tao's laughter breaks the silence. His laugh was rather unexpected, especially because by the way he was laughing, it was as if he had just heard the funniest joke in his entire life. The other two males could only beam at him weirdly while Huiying kept her gaze on the floor. Finally, when Tao ceases from his laughing fit, he said, "That was  shocking, but really, this isn't time for jokes. What's with Hyerin now?" Tao giggled.

"Huiying here is serious." Xiumin frowned as he eyed Tao intensely. "Hyerin has brain tumor."

Again, a laughing fit.

"I sometimes doubt Zitao's mentallity." Lay huffed.

"Tao, why are you laughing? Is this topic a laugh-worthy thing now?" being quite annoyed, Xiumin's voice raised.

"No, no— it's just... it's too funny, really!" Tao snickered as he tried forming words. "I... know Hyerin! That lassie's a tough cookie to crumble! She's like, the strongest among the strongest! And you'd come here all the way to China to tell us that she's suffering brain tumor? You're hilarious!" he continued to chuckle.

"Huang Zitao, does this face of mine seem like we're joking?" Xiumin hissed as he jumped on his feet, shocking Lay and finally, making Tao stop laughing. "Hyerin's gonna die and you're just going to laugh as if it's some light topic you could brush off aside? Our daughter's days are counted and anytime, she's gonna die!"

"And I'm saying here that's it's impossible!" Tao shouted back, his emotions switching rather quickly from laughter to anger. He then charges Xiumin, grabbing his top's collar as his blazing eyes glare at Xiumin's. "You comin' here blabbering that Hyerin— our Hyerin— is sick and is gonna die? What do you think of me, stupid? She's not gonna die anytime, Xiumin-hyung—"

"You're stupid for not trying to accept this topic well!" Xiumin roared. "The unknown death date of someone isn't something to laugh at, and what're you doing? Hyerin's dying!"

"What do you want me to do then?! Cry on her sick body in hopes she'd be all miraculously healed? What do you think my tears are? A cure for any sickness? A miracle? Holy water?—"

"I want you to accept it properly, dammit!"

"She's not going to die, so shut up!"

"She's dying!"

"She's not!"

"I just saw her days before! How about you? When did you last see her face to face? When, Zitao? Tell me!" Xiumin shouted, taking Tao a back. "You weren't there when she was all pale and thin! When she was actually sick, heck, you weren't there for her during those times she nearly collapsed on the stage! You were much of a coward to run towards her and actually ask if she's doing fine! You minded your own, Zitao. You decided to run away like the rest of EXO!"

Again, silence. This time, Tao's hands losened themselves from Xiumin's collar and backed away. Lay was rather in a state of shock and sooner or later, the silent sobs of Huiying was that to be heard in the room. The three's eyes found their way towards the weeping lady, obvious scared due to Xiumin and Tao's exchange of angry cries and acusses. Lay was eager enough to hurry and hug the younger lady, patting her back as he tried to calm her down.

Another thing that no one would forget about Huiying was her being easily scared. She was raised in an orphanage that discriminated her; that shouted at her that she was nothing but a failure and a fruit that wasn't liked by anyone. (why else would you be in the orphanage if you weren't liked by your parents, huh, Huiying?) "Huiying, I... I didn't mean to...." Xiumin softly says as he tries to approach the sobbing female. Lay could only eye the older and shake his head, telling him that approaching her wouldn't be a nice decision. Tao wanted to defy Lay's orders though, but for some reason, he was frozen on his place.

"There, there, it's okay, Huiying." Lay softly says as he wipes Huiying's tears. "Xiumin-hyung and Tao were just stressed out, okay? The fact that Hyerin's, well, 'dying' isn't a nice topic. Tao couldn't just... accept it whole heartedly so easily. They misunderstood each other, but remember that they didn't mean anything what they said, okay? It'll be fine—"

"I'm sorry."

Tao's words were the first to cut Lay's comforting words and were the ones to attract Huiying. "I'm sorry." Tao was weeping too. Like before, he was nothing but a big crybaby. Even if he were to be the best renowned martial artist, he'd always be a crybaby. Tears streamed down his cheeks as his teary eyes met everyone, flashing apology and sadness. "Huiying, I'm sorry for not being there for any of you. I'm sorry that I was much of a chicken to run from the troubles, to leave you all. To leave EXO. To turn my back away from my brothers; from my family." he began as he sniffled. Xiumin was nearly crying but held it in as he hugged the younger, trying to stop him from crying.

But once Tao cries, he could barely control his tears.

"I was so wrong before." he sniffled as he continued sobbing. "I failed all of you and I'm terribly sorry. I failed you as a father..." he weeped as he eyed Huiying before he averts his gaze to Xiumin and Lay. "And as a brother. And as myself. As Huang Zitao—"

"We all failed each other and ourselves, don't blame everything on you." Xiumin shushed as he patted the younger's back.

"And now... Hyerin's going to die... she's not really going to die, right? Please, tell me that she's going to live. Tell me that's she's okay."

"She's not." Xiumin shook his head. "She's not okay, Tao, and I'm sorry that I couldn't say she's okay. I don't want to lie to you and bring your hopes up. Accept it, Tao. Hyerin's at the brink of life and death."

Tao weeped harder.

"At least... can we see her?" Lay asks as he eyes Xiumin.

"In fact, her wish..." Huiying sniffled as she tries to calm herself down from her crying spree. "She... wishes to see the twelve of you together for the last time. She... wants to see you all."

"In Korea, right?" Lay asks.

"Yes."

"Then we're heading there." the dimpled latter smiled as he makes his way towards Tao. "We'll go with you back in Korea! Let's all give Hyerin her renowned sunny smile and hope that she'll be cured, yeah?"

Tao nodded. Xiumin smiled. Huiying ceased from crying.

"But, how about your life here in China?" Huiying worriedly asks.

"Eh, entertainment can wait." Lay smiled. "Besides, it'll be a gateway for rookie entertainers to take my place. Who knows, that might make them popular!"

"And Tao's movies?" Xiumin asks.

"They can wait too. They can always hire those stunt doubles they barely give a chance to." Lay answers in behalf of the still sobbing Tao. "And Zitao, please, can you please stop crying now."

"I c-can't! I can't stop m-my tears!" Tao whined, still having his tears stream down his flushed red cheeks.

"Ugh, I'll get the tissues." Lay huffed. 

"Where's his panda plushie?" Xiumin huffs as well.