chapter twenty: error

"i just need to live like this, i just need to breathe, i just need to be alive. why can't i?"   

"Oh, have you heard? Luhan's getting married."

Few words and the water comes out splurting out of Xiumin's lips.

"Say what?!" Xiumin gasped while Huiying was at loss of words as she eyed Lay, who was somewhat stared at as if he was a murderer on the loose. Of course, such sudden news to be delivered out of no where, who wouldn't be shocked? It was just so... sudden. Especially since for Huiying and Xiumin, who were across another country, they had lost almost all contact they had with the others, especially those in another country. And hearing that one of their ex-member mates was getting married and all.

Xiumin was definitely not ready for this.

"Wait, wait, so you're saying." he wheezes out as he eyes Lay, who was behind the steering wheel. "You're saying that our Luhan, the same Luhan of EXO, that doe-eyed freak that looks prettier than an actual girl is getting married?"

"Yes." Lay nodded.

"And if I'm not mistaken," Tao interupts as he eyes Xiumin from the passenger's seat. "His wedding day is today."

"Say what."

"Hold up, wait!" Huiying shrieked, flailing her arms, grabbing everyone but Lay's attention. Of course, driver's attention stays on the road or else, BAM! "So, why aren't you attending Luhan-appa's wedding today if you know?" she asks as she glares at Tao and Lay.

"Well, the thing is, we've still got a few negative emotions towards each other." Tao breathed out. "And it's not like he invited us neither. And even if he did, we weren't really planning on attending his wedding."

"Why?" Huiying frowned. "You're still his brothers!"

"You saw how he planned things. Xiumin-hyung here doesn't know about his wedding day, what more with those in Korea?" Tao sighed. "And he sent no invitation, so what's the point?"

Huiying frowned at the bitter actions of Tao. He couldn't be blamed, Tao was rather one of the earliest to leave the group, basically because he couldn't handle the treatment of the said entertainment. He had to leave for the best of everything, but he obviously left with a heavy heart, especially because when he left, none of the members even talked about him. It was as if they didn't care. And with the fact that he was often the laughing topic during his active days, it made things worse. Tao, being an insecure guy he is, formulated the worst scenario scenes that wrecked him more. And with the unexplained ignorance before of the still-remaining members, he rather came into the conclusion that none cares. 

"Do you at least know where the wedding ceremony would be held?" Huiying frowned as she eyed Lay and Tao from the back seat.

"Of course." Lay nodded. "I interviewed him once. He, erm, told me about his plans and where he'd hold his wedding but didn't exactly invite me." the dimpled older snickers sadly.

"See what an  he is?"

"Zitao!"

"Then let's go there, now!" Huiying cries out as she jumps out of her seat, nearing herself towards Lay. "Drive us to the wedding ceremony this instant!"

"Huiying," Xiumin breathed out, obviously against the young lady's sudden instructions.

"Come on, calm yourselves down." she giggles. "Besides, we're just gonna pay him a small visit, what could go wrong?"

Luhan eyes his own reflection with shaky eyes. His hazelnut-colored hair, those doe-eyes he proudly sports out, the white suit and black ribbon tie he was wearing, the white pants, the black leather shoes, and the flower on his left chest. 

This is it. This is the day. This is the day he's going to be the best day of his life. His wedding.

"Nervous?" he hears one of his sisters ask, making him turn around with a big smile. Luhan could only nod before he sees his sister approach him, fixing his suit and his hair lovingly. He sees his sister smiling, patting his shoulder like a proud big sister she is. "I'm so happy to see our baby brother go off, get married and be happy in his own life choices. You're doing well." she complimented before she playfully pinches his cheeks.

"I'm lucky to have her as my wife, amn't I?" Luhan proudly states. "Angelic, loving, beautiful—"

"Alright, Mr. Romantic, we all know your soon-to-be wife is perfect." 

Luhan only smiled. It's just a few hours away. He must admit he was getting impatient.

"It's a bummer they couldn't attend, huh?"

Luhan blinked and was pulled back to reality as he eyed his sister, who was rather smiling sadly. "I always thought you twelve'd be together even after your group disbands. Turns out I was wrong. I always imagined that the twelve of you would be together here and there, and if one member got married—like you, for example— they'd not miss your wedding." his sister softly stated. 

"Well, people change through time." Luhan softly says, biting on his lower lip. "And I... I don't really mind."

"Sure? Well, you were close to them. Really close."

"I'm sure, jie. I'm sure I'm fine." Luhan smiles. "Besides, this is supposed to be a happy moment. We shouldn't bring up such a heart-wrenching topic today, don't you agree?"

Luhan's sister could just nod, smile and continue fixing his suit and hair. 

But what Luhan was beyond knowing, his sister had a share in his emotions and real thoughts. She knew what her brother was actually feeling and thinking. That's what sisters are for, right?

Hours soon morphed. 

The ceremony neared to take place.

Every visitor was there.

The seats were neatly arranged. There were flowers Luhan's soon-to-be wife had a great liking on. Everyone was wearing fancy dresses suiting for the ceremony. Luhan was waiting for his soon-to-be wife to arrive as his best man stood alongside him. His sister once thought that this best man would've been a groupmate of his that was named "Kim Xiumin", but no. Luhan had decided to make a close friend actor of his to be his best man.

Soon enough, the music begins to play. It was a soft, enticing piano being played upon his soon-to-be wife's entrance. She was walking with her parents, a big smile and teary eyes meeting Luhan. Luhan could only reply with a bigger smile and with great pride flashed by those black orbs of his. Seeing the love of his life clad in the prettiest white dress, veil covering her face and a bouquet of the reddest roses on her hands just completed her already perfect beauty. Luhan was at loss of words and all he could just do is flash to her a dumb smile.

"Did I suceed in looking prettier than you?" his wife, Xiulan, asks as she eyes Luhan, who was now standing walking beside her.

"You were always prettier." Luhan smiled. "Did I manage to look at least a bit manly today though?"

"You were always manly for me." Xiulan smiled sweetly as they made their way to the altar.

Everything was going well.

Luhan stole glances of his "wife" and smiled to himself sweetly as he held Xiulan's hand. The ceremony went on and soon enough, they were exchanging their vows. He was sure that Xiulan nearly cried when he stated his vows. He must admit, they were at least a bit cheesy and greatly touching, as said by his sister when he let her hear it back then. Xiulan had tears on the rims of her eyes and how badly did Luhan want to wipe them away. Soon enough, it was Xiulan's turn and like her, he wanted to cry his tears of joy. He felt extremely lucky to have her as his wife. He felt extremely lucky to have caught this fair maiden's heart. He felt extermely lucky that she is finally his now.

The "I do"s came and went. 

And finally, the moment every was waiting for.

"You may now kiss the bride."

Luhan felt a blush spread across his face. Never had he kisses his wife in front of numerous people. Maybe on the cheeks, yes, but not really on the lips. He did let his parents see him kiss Xiulan on her forehead before. Now, kissing on the lips was harder than he had thought. He felt shy, anxious, and worried. What if he messes this perfect day up?

Slowly, and with an uncontrollable smile forming on his lips, he neared towards Xiulan, making the space between them get smaller.

And smaller.

And—

"Luhan-appa!"

The doors blasted open as four silhouettes stood at the doorway. The small, feminine voice echoed through the building, gathering everyone's attentions, even Luhan's and Xiulan's. The kiss was held a back as Luhan's eyes squinted to try and see who the "crashers" were, no thanks on having the light behind them. The shadow was making it harder for him to notice who they were.

Soon enough, a female's silhouette formed and became clearer. Huiying bravely took baby steps, eyes on Luhan and his wife. Luhan soon noticed the three other shadows to be his former bandmates he hadn't seen for years now: Xiumin, Lay and Tao. They were all wearing a stoic expression like him. 

Mumbling was heard. A sound of confused whispers surfaced.

"Huiying?" Luhan gasped in surprised upon finally recognizing the young lady standing a meters away from him. With her maturing features and a body greatly different from what she carried before, Luhan barely recognized her. It was just a look at those eyes of hers that made him realize who she was.

"You know her?" Xiulan asks in a surprised tone, not expecting Luhan to know the young lady who just came.  Luhan can only be left speechless as the other three former EXO members inched themselves towards Luhan and his wife, along with Huiying. Huiying's eyes were filled with tears, but not of agony, but instead, joy. She was rather glad to see Luhan after so many years.

After he had left the group years back then, she never had a chance to see him again personally. Sometimes, they'd be in an interview together, along with Pandora Street (surely, that occured during their early debut days), but she never got a chance to casually talk to him face-to-face. Sometimes, she wished that she'd get casted in a Chinese drama with Luhan, if it's the only way she'd get a contact with him once more. And now, she got what she had wished for years back then. The only difference was that she meets him again when he's getting married.

"I-its you, right?" she asks, speaking in Chinese in hopes that Luhan would understand her. "You're Luhan, right? My Luhan-appa?" she asks as if she's an innocent child in search of her long lost father.

Luhan was still frozen on spot, that is until Xiumin's voice surfaced.

"Lu," that one nickname from that one person he misses the most. One close friend of his that he could be weird around and he wouldn't judge. That same "baozi" he had deemed to meet again.

"Umin?" he blinks in surprise upon seeing Xiumin in front of him. He wanted to bawl his eyes out upon seeing him again, but he had to remain strong. He shouldn't let his tears roll. Not now. Not tomorrow. Never. "W-what are you guys doing here?" he asks in Chinese as he eyes everyone in astonishment. "H-how... you were never—"

"We find ways, Luhan-ge." Lay smiled innocently as he eyes Xiulan, smiling before bowing to her. "Hello, sister-in-law." he jokes, making Xiulan smile back and bow back. Luhan could only eye Lay before he averts his gaze at Xiulan, pulling her close as if they'd steal her away from her. 

"Why are you here? What are you even doing here?" Luhan breathed out in difficulty. "A-and Umin and Huiying... they should be back in Korea. W-why are you here in China?"

"To see you obviously, you ." Tao cursed as he glared at the doe-eyed elder. "What else? Sight seeing?"

"Zitao." Lay scolded, shutting the younger up completely.

"Luhan," Xiulan began again, tugging on Luhan's sleeve. "You know these guys?"

"They're... my former bandmates." Luhan softly smiles as he faces Xiulan. 

"And that lady?"

"She's... someone I know." Luhan smiles.

"Someone you know?" Huiying gasps.

"Hey!" Tao cried in fury. "This 'someone' is you darn daughter, Luhan! Get it straight! Why are you acting as if she's a mere nobody for you?" the martial artist angrily cried before he attemtps to charge Luhan, only to be held a back by Xiumin and Lay. Surprised eyes and orbs that flashed disbelief was what Huiying used to eye Luhan, who managed to avert his gaze away from her. "Luhan! Look at us, darn it! How can you just act as if we're nobodies to you!?"

"Zitao, enough—" Lay warned.

"Lu," Xiumin calls out in a weak tone, somewhat near pleading. "Lu, we're brothers, right? I don't know if you still understand Korean, but I hope I convey my feelings to you well. Lu, we're brothers, aren't we? I never cut our bond off, I always saw you as a brother. I supported you despite being in another country. You are both a best friend and a family to me. Please tell me... that you still see us like that, Lu."

Luhan could only face Xiulan after Xiumin ended his conversation. It was as if he didn't understand a single word Xiumin had told.

"Lu, please," Xiumin continued to beg. "We're still a family, right? Brothers, right?"

"Please get them out of here." Luhan whispered to one of the men standing close to his left. Hurriedly, a group of men grabbed hold of the four of them, not giving in into their pleas and whimpers, and even if they struggled free. Tao was continuously told by Lay to hold back his martial arts-senses to avoid kicking the living lights out of them. Xiumin tried struggling free, shouting Luhan's name over and over again.

But seeing Huiying lifelessly let the men lead her out was what pained Luhan. She stared at him with teary eyes, tears actually rolling down of her cheeks.

"Luhan-appa". she mouthed for the last time before she and the other three were dragged out of the wedding hall. 

"Luhan?" Xiulan called out.

"Let's continue the ceremony." Luhan smiled as he eyed Xiulan, sadness still flashing from his black orbs.

Surely, no one knew this but he understood a single word Xiumin had uttered.

He lied to not know.

"Luhan,"

Luhan could only look at his wife, blinking cluelessly before he flashes a smile at Xiulan. "Yes?" he grinned, still holding her small, soft hands. "Is there something wrong?"

"Thank you for this perfect day, but," she began, looking down, purposely avoiding Luhan's gaze. "Those four... you guys were pretty close back then, right? You used to tell me about EXO and those three orphans you used to take care of."

"Wha—"

"Lay, Tao, and Xiumin, right?" she smiled. "And that petite young lady... what's her name.... Huiying, right? Chang Huiying?"

"Xiulan—"

"Why didn't you invite them over for our wedding? I'm sure them and the other members of EXO would've loved to watch you and I exchange vows." Xiulan smiles sweetly. "And your three kids too! I would've love to see them there at our wedding ceremony, Lu—"

"They wouldn't attend even if I invite them." Luhan breathed out, expressing how agonized he was. "We still have this undying hate towards each other, you see? Since we disbanded, no, even before we disbanded, we had this hate towards those who left. I was second to leave, remember? After Yifan."

"Yes."

"They hate me. They wouldn't even care if I die—"

"Don't say that, Luhan!" Xiulan pouted. "I'm pretty sure that they would care. You guys are family. You twelve, plus those three kids, you guys are a family. You used to tell me how much you miss them, and on how much fun you had for each other, remember? I'm pretty sure family doesn't get cut by a simple misunderstanding and by any arguement, let it be big or small. Family is forever."

Luhan sighed and bit his lip, holding back the tears threatening to roll down his cheeks.

"Me and my sisters, we once had a fight, remember? I told you that." Xiulan giggled. "We didn't and refused to talk to each other for five years! But we got to reconcile together soon because, well, we're sisters. We're born to fight and reconcile each other repeatedly. There's no other option. Do you know why?"

"Because... that's what family is for?"

"Exactly." she grinned, cupping Luhan's face. "So, you know what I'm thinking? I think we should reschedule our reception for some other time. For the meantime, you should go and reconcile with your family."

"No. I-I mean, this is supposed to be our day—"

"Whatever makes you happy makes me happy, dear. I can always wait, but who knows what might happen if you don't take a step now. Who knows?" Xiulan pouted as she held her husband's hands. "Go. I'm sure your family needs you more than I do now."

Luhan felt the tears roll down his eyes before he hugs Xiulan, extremely blissful on having such a wife like her. Hurriedly, Xiulan asks the driver of their vehicle to drive them to a new destination.

Xiumin sighed heavily as he sat on the bench with Huiying, who was crying her heart. They got kicked out of Luhan's wedding, and didn't even had a proper chance to be reunited. Tao was still trying to simmer down from his anger while Lay tried his upmost best to cheer everyone up. "Maybe he was just surprised, guys. He didn't really expect us coming." Lay faltered, a smile wavering from his face. 

"Shock wouldn't drive a 'brother' to kick his fellow brothers out." Tao countered, glaring up at the dimpled older. "Face it, Luhan had forgotten us. Threw us out of his life like a piece of paper." 

"No, that's not true." Lay shook his head. "R-right, Xiumin? Luhan-ge wouldn't forget us just like that."

"I bet he didn't even understand what Xiumin here had said!" Tao hissed.

"Understood what, Zitao?"

All eyes raised as they saw a familiar doe-yed male standing a few meters away from them with a female still dressed in her wedding gown. Luhan was still dressed in his white suit and tears were still evident to have dried on his cheeks. "I still speak Korean, idiots." Luhan joked, speaking in fluent Korean as he eyed the four. "I understood everything Umin said, you know."

"Lu?" Xiumin gasped.

"Hi." he smiled.

"Please take good care of my husband while he's away from me." Xiulan smiled, speaking in an adorable Korean. It was obvious that Luhan had taught those words to her.  A smile was patched on her face as she nudged Luhan to walk towards them. "Thank you, brothers-in-law." she smiled as she eyed the three males before she averts her eyes to Huiying. "Take care of your dad for me, okay?" she grinned. 

Huiying felt like crying more before she tackled Luhan for a tight hug, not wanting to let go. Luhan's tears spilled seconds later, only to wiped away by Lay. Tao slowly approached and teared up too, apologizing for his way of talking and sudden rage. Xiumin was still at the state of shock as he eyed Xiumin, who was hugging and ruffling the other's hair. "I'm real, why do you look like as if you've seen a ghost, Umin?" he asks as he eyes Xiumin. "You have't age, huh? Lucky you."

"Same for you." Xiumin softly mumbled. "So... still brothers?"

"We were always one." Luhan smiled before Xiumin tackles him for a tight hug, tears spilling from his eyes.