chapter fifteen: night tales deceive

"i'm so disgusted by my self that i can't help but sneer."   

With Chanyeol found yet seemingly complicated to gain back, Jonathan and the rest were rather caught in a dilemma on how they can quite change the former rapper's mind to join them willingly.

And yes, that kind of sounds difficult to do than to say, but they had to, right? Besides, Jonathan was capable of pulling back Sehun despite the hurt that swallowed him before, so why can't he with Chanyeol and the anger filling him up to the brim?

"What do you have in mind then?" Baekhyun asks as he side-eyes the younger. "I've been best friends with Yeol. He's the kind of person to never back down from anything. If he says this, then that's it. And perhaps this time... saying that he doesn't know us anymore, then he really is saying it from the heart."

"Now, don't you dare give up to!" Chen warned as he glared at Baekhyun. "You two're like the two best people who'd never give up on anything! Don't you dare say you're going the same way Chanyeol is doing right now!"

"I nearly said 'no' when Jonathan here asked me to join for the first time." Baekhyun pouted.

"Then don't let it happen again!"

"Can you two quit shouting first?" Sehun growled as he covered his ears, completely annoyed at how loud the two older men were bickering at each other. "Please! Let's try solving this thing peacefully, can we? First off, we need to tell Suho-hyung of this! He has to know that we've located Chanyeol-hyung. He might know what to do."

"Agreed." Jonathan nodded lifelessly before the five of them headed back to the hotel. 

Upon arriving there, Suho had waken up and watching television. Hearing the hotel room door creak got him on his feet and a smile crept on his face once he saw the youngers. "I see you're back early." Suho grinned as he eyed everyone, who he was surprised to see to be so lifeless and pale. "What's wrong? Didn't you enjoy your small night-walk? Was the city too noisy for you to enjoy? Fans hoarding over you guys instead? What happened?"

"We saw Chanyeol." Chen mumbled.

"What?" the former group leader gasped with widneed eyes, as if he wasn't sure if he had heard the right thing. "What... did you say?"

"We saw Park Chanyeol." Baekhyun repeated, slightly pissed off for some reason. "And heck, he says he doesn't recall any of us. He ever talked trash of EXO, the group he came from himself! Geez, does underground music really affect a person that greatly?"

Being one who had just waken up, Suho was blinking a few times before he collapsed on the bed, lips slightly parted. "W-wait, so you're saying you actually saw Chanyeol earlier? H-how is he? Is he doing good? Is he still indulged in music or anything?" Suho asked excitedly.

"Apparently, hyung is." Sehun nodded. "He's a member of an underground band now. A drummer, to be exact." he added.

"That's awesome!" Suho grinned.

"That's not the point here, Joonmyeon." Chen sighed heavily. "It seems like we're going to have some difficulty in pulling Chanyeol along with us. Heard what Baekhyun said? He's acting as if he's the biggest hater of our group! He talked trash about us and claimed that he cannot recall any of us. He doesn't recall Jonathan neither."

"Is... that true?" Suho blinked as he eyed Jonathan, who was the palest among them all.

"Yes." Jonathan sadly nodded.

"Maybe he got in an accident? He got amnesia or something perhaps?"

"Then how'll you explain his sudden hatred towards you guys and me?" Jonathan frowned. "Amnesia can't do something like that, especially if you don't know the persons you hate. I suppose he still recalls us, but claims that he doesn't because of that hatred. You know what hate can do, right?" he asks as he eyes Sehun especially.

"Agreed." Sehun nodded. "But we're not a hundred percent sure yet. Let's not jump into conclusions now, can we?"

Everyone was in a panicking state. Seeing Chanyeol like that earlier... was just so hard to believe that it was actually the very same person they've been through for years.

What if he's just some random look-a like? Or maybe some secret twin Chanyeol's been hiding for quite some time? Or maybe a lost twin? 

It can't be Chanyeol. It can't be the Park Chanyeol they know.

"What if he was Chanyeol? Our Chanyeol?" Chen breathed out desperately, as if the air was suddenly so thick around him. "What if... he really doesn't want to recall us?"

"But for what reason?" Jonathan pursed his lips. "Chanyeol-appa loves you guys dearly! He had no hate for EXO, as far as I knew. He was even one of the few members who stuck with Suho-appa here before they disbanded! He had no desires on even breaking up the group! He even tried to... to convince Youngmin for EXO to stay as is or at least to do something." 

Suho suddenly frowned.

"Tell me that I'm correct. Chanyeol-appa has nothing against the group itself. Why would he desire to forget all of you?"

His frown meant something.

"Whatever it is, let's not jump to conclusions now. Again, it's not proper." Sehun frowned. 

"And whatever the reason is, I'm gonna find it out myself!" Jonathan declared as he grabbed his jacket and stormed out of their hotel room once more. Chen was about to stop him but finding the action he was about to do futile, he prefered not to interfere anymore.

"Leave him be." Baekhyun spat out. "The boy'll come back after he gets what he wants. Let him be."

"I just hope Jonathan's taking this easier than we hope." Chen desperately breathed out. "That kid's... going through tough times. Having his sister diagnosed with tumor, finding all the members himself and patching our group back as fast as possible, he's really something."

Suho can only eye Jonathan vanish from the room.

Half an hour later, Joanthan returns, dried tears staining his face. Instinct overtaking him, Chen darts towards their "son", embracing him and letting the boy release all tears he was somewhat bottling up. Sehun soon joins and tries to calm the younger down, followed by Baekhyun and soon, Suho. "What happened?" Suho faltered.

"I failed." Jonathan sobbed. "Chanyeol.... he's not Chanyeol-appa." 

"Why?" Sehun asked. "What happened? How'd your convincing go?"

"I failed, I say. I failed. There's no use trying to tell anything to him." Jonathan weeped as he used the back of his hands to wipe his tears. "He... said that he really can't remember us. That he's mad at us for ruining their show earlier...

That it's better for us to leave him be."

"Yeol wouldn't say something like that!" Baekhyun cried out. "Tell me that it wasn't what happened, Jonathan. Tell me you're joking. He wouldn't tell anyone to buzz off. That's not him!"

"Baekhyun, calm down." Chen softly says.

"Calm down?! I can't calm down, Jongdae! This is our Yeol we're talking about! The once hyper-active, all teeth-smiler, deep-voiced silly rapper! I cannot calm down after hearing that he wants us to leave him be!" 

"Calm down." Sehun breathed out heavily, him sobbing quite evident in the way he talks. "A-all of us know that Chanyeol-hyung can never do those things, but let's face it, what if he really can?"

"He can't! He loves us!" Baekhyun insisted.

"Baek—"

"Yeol would never turn his back against us! He can never... do such horrid things. He can never betray us, his brothers! The same brothers he had shared tears and laughters with!"

Suho was quiet all the time.

"Suho, come on! Back me up here!" Baekhyun cried out weakly as he eyed the former leader. With all ettention now on him, he can only lower his head in agony. "Don't tell me... you're siding with 'em too?"

"That's not it, Baekhyun." Suho shakes his head.

"Then tell me! Tell me that this is not true! That we can retrieve Yeol back!"

He was still quiet.

"Appa," he heard Jonathan call out softly before he feels a dip on his side. Jonathan had eventually eyed him intensely before he flashed those teary eyes of his and a huge frown to pair with it. "Are you... thinking about something? Like, on why Chanyeol-appa is acting like this?"

Still silent.

"Come on, Joonmyun." Chen breathed out heavily before he eyes down the older. "We surely won't get things fixed if you don't speak up."

Suho, you promised.

"Did... something happen?" Sehun worriedly questioned.

It's our little secret you vowed to never tell anyone. Don't you dare break it.

"Suho?"

You've broken a lot of things already.

"Did something happen, appa?" Jonathan blinked.

Suho was still quiet.  "Come on, dude. Why're you acting all quiet-y all of the sudden? Like, seriously, yeah, we really never listened to you before but now, we're here to listen!" Chen pouted. "Come on, speak up!"

"What's wrong, hyung? Why're you all.. pale and something?" Sehun asks.

"Because something happened." Baekhyun softly stated out as he eyed the frowning Suho, causing all attention to be suddenly get thrown at the former group leader. "Right, Suho? Something happened that none, or at least, most of the members doesn't know. Am I right?"

Suho breathed out heavily before he runs fingers through his hair. "... You're right. Something did happen."

Everyone suddenly felt time and air freeze. They were finding breathing difficult again and as if the chest of Pandora was unlocked again, ugly things began to unfold before them.

"What... do you mean?" Sehun choked. "What do you mean by 'something most of the members doesn't know'?"

"Were you hiding something from us all this time, Suho?" Chen softly croaked out.

Suho began to unfold the secrets one by one.

"What happened?" Jonathan asked, his voice shaky.  "Did... something terrible happen?"

"Not exactly terrible, but it's something me and the left emmbers kind of agreed on not saying to anyone else." Suho explained before he breathed out deeply. "But since Baekhyun here had seemed to have seen through me, then I should end it, right?"

Everyone nodded in unison.

"Well, before the group entirely disbanded, me and Chanyeol kind of had a small talk." Suho began as he recalled the past events. 

"You're ending it?" Chanyeol gasps with widened eyes as he eyes the group's leader. "What do you mean you're 'ending' it? Suho-hyung, this is unfair! We've built this group with hopes and dreams and we can't just throw it away as if it's some kind of toy a kid gets tired of!"

"But what else do we have, Chanyeol?" Suho frowned with great agony as he eyes the rapper. "We barely ahve any members to contain the group together. By next year, it's quite possible that Umin-hyung'll go to the military or something. One by one, the group'll lose the members until there's just us two left. What else do we have left?"

"We've got to keep fighting!" Chanyeol complained. "W-we've got lots of fans awaiting the resolve in this problem. Come on, we've lost too many members before, let's not waste their sacrifices to keep our group alive—"

"They left because they were tired, Chanyeol. They left not to keep our group living but to make themselves continue living." Suho frowned. "Let's face it, how many times have you performed with flu or fever? How many times had Kai sprained his ankle and had injured his other limbs? How many more times should Xiumin-hyung collapse? Or perhaps how much more bashing shall we receive from the CEO himself? Tell me, Chanyeol. How much more?"

There was silence in the room as Suho and Chanyeol exchanged looks. The tension could be grealty felt as the leader and the rapper of the group exchanged those sharp glares. A few hours ago, they've been in a serious meeting with no one else but Kim Youngmin, SM Entertainment's current CEO head. When he asks what they want to happen to EXO, for some reason, Suho had agreed when Youngmin suggested that they should break up the group. To disband. To fnially end their career in music. Of course, that struck Chanyeol the greatest impact. Their leader? Ending everything? That's just... absurd.

"We can find a way outta this, and this is not it." Chanyeol breathed out as he slammed his fists on the table. "This is not the only way out, Suho-hyung! We... we can still find a way! File a lawsuit and win over it! Or... or maybe transfer agencies! The four of us! We can transfer agencies! We can start anew!"

"Then what?" Suho scowled. "Get manipulated once more? I can't bottle it up anymore, Chanyeol."

"Which?"

"Seeing my brothers be puppets of powerful people. It's just so painful to watch, y'know? Especially because I'm the leader here!"

"This is our dream!"

"Our dream was to walk the path of music, not be puppets, Park Chanyeol!"

"What's the difference?"

"There's a huge difference! We don't get to act on our own will anymore. We get pushed to the limit, get beaten up into a pulp. Literally having our strings pulled every now and then and act off-limit! Like, really, let me ask you. How long had you slept this day or at least how frequent had you had a decent meal wherein the managers aren't there to call you or at least insult you that you're growing fat?"

"That's—"

"Chanyeol, we're losing. Can't you see? Why Kris left in the first place? On why the rest had left the group. They were sick of it. They've longed for freedom."

"That's not true. This is what we wanted."

"This is not what we wanted!"

Chanyeol huffed as he slammed his fists once more, making Suho jolt. "EXO was built by twelve men with strong dreams." Chanyeol breathed out with difficulty as he glared at Suho. "We vowed to never let go of each other nor to leave anyone hanging. They've left. They're betrayers. They gave up too easily! They... broke our promise."

"Chanyeol, we're all suffocated." Suho was now tearing up due to the pressure. "Kai's in the hospital because of his previous leg accident. Xiumin-hyung's gonna go to the military—"

"Super Junior did it! Why can't we?! And so did TVXQ!"

"Incomplete, yes. And soon... they ended it too." Suho frowned. "They got married, had families and finally, let go. And this time, it's EXO's turn."

"No. I refuse." Chanyeol shook his head.

"Chanyeol, I worry for you too." Suho breathed out, hardly ontaining his emotions as his tears were welling up on his eyes. "I know you're suffering some sort of light asthma attacks after our performances. I see you often holding a puffer and you barely consult anyone for help or medication. You never went to a hospital neither. You've collapsed five or four times already this year. I can't just stand here and wait for you to be in Kai's situation too!"

"I'm not going in that kind of situation, hyung." Chanyeol assured.

"And what if you did?" Suho scowled. "What if you meet a worse situation? Like... being diagnosed or being discovered to carry some severe illness? That you're gonna die? What if that happens?"

"That's not going to—"

"What if?! I can't bear to see another brother in that ugly situation!" Suho weeped. "So please, let's just stop here. Let's break the group. Let's get the freedom we longed to have. Let's have it back."

Chanyeol was out of words that time before Suho finally lets go of his shoulders and collapses back on his seat. After the leader huffed deeply, he heard Chanyeol sneering at himself, as if it was done out of annoyance or some sort of negative emotion. "That's what you guys're great at. Easily giving up.Being failures. Forgetting what you've promised everyone. The fans, the kids, your brothers, everyone." he heard the rapper remark before he raised his head, seeing Chnayeol with burning eyes and sneering. "Then, you know what? I'giving up too! Why? Because I'm a failure too, right?!"

This time, Suho was at loss of words.

"You want me to leave the group? To be like the others? To forget y'all? Fine! Let it be!" he angrily spat out as he glared down at the leader. "I'll take a new route myself! I'll forget EXO even existed! That I even had you eleven as my 'brothers'."

"Chanyeol, that's not—"

"It's over then! EXO's disbanded and it's all over! Fine!" Chanyeol hissed before he darted out of the room, slamming the door behind him, only to leave Suho weeping more in agony and confusion.

Baekhyun had his eyes wide open, rolling around his bed as he was unable to get some proper sleep.

After he had witnessed Suho unfold that one secret kept from literally everyone and on how he wept when he narrated the one missing story before the group entirely disbanded. At least, it brought a clearer vision on why Chanyeol was suddenly so angry and somewhat had forgotten the group and Jonathan. Baekhyun was rather the most pained one. He and Suho instantly became close friends after EXO went inactive. Suho had rather updated him about everything, but never had he told him about such secret. And rather, Suho never initiated to talk about what Chanyeol  went through. OH, his dear bestfriend all hurting by himself.

Slowly, he rose up and eyed the sleeping Chen, who he shares a bed with. Next, he eyed Sehun and Jonathan, who were sharing one bed. Suho slept in a separate bed, since the four of them were rather uncomfortable bed-mates, they decided to give the oldest some peace at least in his sleep.

But as for Baekhyun, peace is not what he needs for now.

He wanted to make Chanyeol understand and at least "remember" them. That's what he wanted.

And being Byun Baekhyun himself, an idea had popped insantly in his mind.

Grabbing his jacket and putting on some ear muffs to protect him from the cold, Baekhyun silently snuck out of the room and ran off the hotel, wandering down the night streets of the city. Lights were still displayed here and there, but not as lively as it was a few hours ago. A fewer groups of people were strolling this time and it made Baekhyun walk through the streets easier. Now, the next question.

Where was Chanyeol staying?

If he wanted to pay Chanyeol a surprise visit, he had to at least know where their former rapper lives, right? And being best friends with that giant, Baekhyun knew every inch of information about him... including the possibilites on where Chaneyol would live after the group goes inactive. 

A rocker, a drummer and a former rapper. Someone with a mind of his own and an obvious free spirit? Where on earth would Chanyeol now live?

Condominium, of course. Once Baekhyun eyes that particular condominium unit, he instantly had the hunches that Chanyeol's living there. Wasting on second, he hurriedly darted towards the unit and disturbed a few awake unit takers, asking if a certain Park Chanyeol lives there. Fortunately, someone did, though he was better known by the name Park Chan-Y. Of course, a famous underground rock band, a new name, a new face to show the public, Park Chanyeol would easily be forgotten and be easily overlapped by a new persona called "Chan-Y".

Eleventh room in the fifth room. That's where Chanyeol stays and surely, Baekhyun wasn't mistaken.

The door soon opened and revealed a familiar red-haired, who had greeted him with droppy eyes. Upon seeing and noticing Baekhyun, they returned to life and a small gasp was heard. "Mind if I crash here for a small amount of time, Yeol?" Baekhyun smiled as he eyed his best friend, who rather seemed astonished at the sudden appearance of the unexpected visitor. 

"... You're that guy from earlier." Chanyeol huffed as he leaned on the doorway, running fingers through his red hair. "What'cha want? An autograph? Just so y'know, your lil' boy came earlier this night to talk. I threw him out."

"As I've heard, that is correct." Baekhyun nodded before he took steps closer, making Chanyeol back away and Baekhyun, enter his place. Chanyeol had tried tp push him out, but Baekhyun was overflowing with will to give in into those pushings Chanyeol was throwing straight to his face. "Can you please listen to me first, Park Chanyeol? I'm not here to pick a darn fight! I want to talk!"

"I've got a performance tomorrow. I'm busy." Chanyeol glared. "Shoo."

"That's not how you talk to me, and you know that. We've been in one group and had been the closest, don't you remember?" Baekhyun glared back dangerously. "You were always afraid of these kinds of glares, remember? You'd even throw a pillow at me to just prevent me from glaring at you."

"I don't know what're you saying so you better get the heck outta my place before I call the cops!" Chanyeol threatened. "I'm serious! I've got connections, you creep!"

A frown crossed Baekhyun as he looked up at Chanyeol's new image. "You've changed. A lot." he giggled to himself as he shakes his head. "I never knew the Yeol I knew would turn into someone like this. Rebellious, ill-tempered, foul-mouthed. A liar."

"What'cha call me?!" 

"Liar. You've masked yourself and deceived the public with this new Chan-Y face you've come up. You've let them forget that you're Park Chanyeol, the most renowned rapper of EXO before. You've let them forget the dorky giant they call as 'Chanyeol'. Let me ask you, do you even remember who you are?"

"'Course! I'm Chanyeol! Park Chanyeol, better known as the drummer Chan-Y!" he proudly remarked.

"No. You don't know yourself." Baekhyun retorted. "You've forgotten yourself."

"And who're you tell that—"

Slap!

"Who am I? I am no one else but you're bestfriend, you idiot!" Baekhyun growled as tears fell from his eyes out of the great emotions he was feeling. "And lemme tell it to you straight. As far as I've known, the Chanyeol we all know isn't this person standing in front of me! Because, y'know what? The Chanyeol I became great friends with would never give up anything! He'd never let anything but joy take over him. And you? You made anger and frustration cloud your entire being! You've chosen to forget us, your brothers that you've dearly loved!"

Baekhyun was now loosening his grip on Chanyeol's shoulders as he felt his legs turn jelly. "The Chanyeol I cared for the most... the Chanyeol I played with and became craz with every single day... why'd you let him go? You say you're angry because you've turned into a failure because of us? No, you became a failure because you let yourself become one! Because the Chanyeol I knew would never give up!" he shouted as he continuously hits Chanyeol's shoulders.

"Hyerin... Jonathan and Huiying. All of us never let you become a failure, Yeol. We never let go. Them and us, your brothers, never let go. We never left you. Why? Because we promised, right? That we'd be a family forever." Baekhyun weeped as he eyed Chanyeol with teary eyes. "NOw, Hyerin needs us the most."

That one named echoed in his ears.

"She's dying, Yeol. She needs her family complete and beside her."

Morning came and everyone was slowly waking up. The plan for today was to continue searching for the rest. If Chanyeol wasn't coming and had entirely refused to reunite with them and to offer them forgiveness, then they can't force it out of his system, right? They had to at least respect the other's decision. Everyone was just waking up, but the loud yelling of Baekhyun scared the drowsniness out of them easily. "What's with you and all the noise up so early?!" Chen whined as he raised himself up, a messy bed-hair greeting who ever would eye him. Jonathan easily woke up, eyes still closed though. Sehun squirmed under the sheets while Suho simply covered himself with the blanket.

"Come on, this is a great day! Get your butts up already!" Baekhyun cried happily.

"What's happy in this morning." Sehun mumbled underneath the blanket sheets.

"There's always something happy to look forward through the day, maknae."

That deepp voice had al four shooting up from their beds, sleepiness completely out of their systems. The sight of a certain red-hair in a black wife-beater had made them have widened eyes and dropped jaws. "What? First time to see such handsome creature like me?" Chanyeol joked as he flashed at everything his famous grin. 

"Chanyeol?" Suho gasped.

"Yo, leader." he greeted casually, smiling at Suho. "So! What time're we off to leave? I wanna see the rest of EXO already! Let's hit the road!"

"Is this a dream? Are we dead? Is Chanyeol-appa seriously in front of us?" Jonathan blinked.

"'Tis me, kiddo." Chanyeol giggled before he ruffled Jonathan's hair.

Oh, it was indeed an early morning. 

Wet with tears.

But not of agony again.

But the joy of receiving forgiveness and having another brother reunited happily once more.

"Nice to have you back, yoda." Baekhyun grinned as he swung an arm around Chanyeol.

"Thanks," Chanyeol grinned back at his shorter best friend before he chuckled. "Eyeliner boy."