chapter ten: be the light

"with the useless hope that you’ll look at me at least once, the conversation I have with you all night in my imagination"
 

"Sehun?"

They weren't exactly sure if this man standing before them is indeed the youngest member—ex-member—of EXO or if this was his brother again, who bears terrifyingly exact features with him, excluding the hair color of course. Though Suho and Baekhyun, and of course, Jonathan too, felt a sudden familiar bond connecting them with this newly arrived man. Suho felt his knees grow weak, Baekhyun felt as if all his bravery had left his body and Jonathan felt throwing up.

Sehun was in front of them, hands around the smaller female hiding behind him. His face obviously reflected that of an angered and dumbfounded expression as he saw them. Worry soon washed him as he eyed his girlfriend, softly asking if she was okay.

Suho's eyes began to water as he eyed the taller latter. 

If they looked back  at it, Sehun was the fourth to leave the group after he had won over a lawsuit file towards the said company. Though, yes, Sehun had the one of the biggest dreams in the said group, he had no choice but to leave.  It indeed pained the youngest, but what other resort does he have? None. So, he had to let go of his biggest dreams and go on a new way where he's left with nothing and all. 

And since then, when the youngest had left, none of the members were left with any contact of him. Seeing him after numerous years had made Suho want to wail and cry.

"Sehun... it's you, right? Please, tell me you're Oh Sehun." he pleaded as he neared himself towards the latter, feelings of wanting to hug his ex-member tightly. 

But to his surprise, Sehun didn't respond the way he expected. Backing away from him as if he had seen a ghost or one of his biggest fears was not how Suho expected Sehun to respond. 

"Why are you here? What do you want?" Sehun asks, his voice faltering throughout the conversation. His eyes were locked on Suho and soon, towards Baekhyun. "You two... why are you here? Why are you looking for me? Why are you harassing Daeun?"

"We weren't harassing her!" Baekhyun hissed. "She started it!"

"You wanted to hurt Sehun again!" Daeun retorted back, scowling.

"We just wanted to talk and confront him!" Baekhyun corrected angrily before he steps beside Suho, eyeing Sehun. "We didn't mean to hurt your girlfriend, if ever she claims she was by us. We just wanted to talk, Sehun. Just a small talk. A quick one."

"I don't want to talk. Me and Daeun are here for a vacation and I don't like you guys crashing in. We barely even see each other, so leave." Sehun glared. "I don't appreciate your sudden visit."

"Look, can you please listen first, you bratty kid?" Baekhyun growled before he ran his fingers through his hair. "You need to come with us in reuniting our group for a reason, got it? Whether you like it or not, you need to tag along with us—"

"I'm not coming along with you!" the youngest immediately exclaimed as he cuts through the older's words. "Whatever the reason is, I'm not coming along!"

"Sehun, please," Suho began to plead again. "You've got to listen first—"

"And what? Get tricked again and get hurt all over again? I'm not an idiot to fall for the same mistakes, hyung." Sehun replied. "I've learned a few lessons. I'm not going to listen again, get manipulated and get thrown aside like a doll forgotten by a little girl."

"But, Sehun, this is different—"

"How is this any different? You're forcing me to do things I dislike, just like before! What's different in this case?" 

"Sehun, that is not how you talk to an older person!" Baekhyun scolded.

"You shut up!"

"Oh Sehun—!"

"Sehun-appa."

As if time stopped itself, Sehun froze as his eyes made their way towards Jonathan. It's been years since he had seen that face and despite the great changes in his physique, he is sure this boy calling him as his "dad" is no other than the pacifist "son" he and his eleven hyungs had adopted long ago. This grown man is no other than Lee Jonathan, and he can never forget his son. No parent can ever forget their son.

"Please. Please, just listen to what we've got." Jonathan begged as his sad, hopeless eyes looked at Sehun. It's about as tall as him, only three or two inches shorter than Sehun. Sehun, on the other side, was still frozen as he eyes his "son" with those sad, puppy eyes. "We just want you to listen. We want EXO back as a whole again. For a reason, and that's—"

"Whatever the reason is, I'm not interested." Sehun cuts off immediately. "I don't care what the reason is. Reuniting us is rather an impossible mission., Jonathan. We'll never be reunited." 

"Don't say that!" Jonathan cried out in complete hopelessness. "You used to be tightly bonded! As if you are real blood brothers! What had happened to that?!"

Sehun remained speechless.

"Whatever happened to you guys? I thought we were family?"

His heart wrenched, seeing those watery eyes staring at him.

"Please! Say something! Aren't we a family?"

Family?

"Sehun-appa!" Tears finally escaped his eyes, his legs growing weak as he sobs. Jonathan was soon caught by Baekhyun, who tried to calm the younger down. 

Suho then takes the convincing role. His sad eyes met with Sehun's, seeing how terribly hurt the youngest was back then. Those were the same pair of eyes Sehun had when he had no choice left but to leave. Like Sehun, he was pained to see Sehun like this.

"Look, we've never wanted anything that had happened before." Suho began as he eyed the youngest. "We're sorry that... we had to break apart. That some of us were left with no choice but to let go of their own dreams, even the biggest dreams that they've dreamed since who knows. We're sorry for that."

Still nothing. But Suho isn't the type to easily give up.

"Sehun," he tries again, walking towards Sehun with the saddest eyes. "Let me ask you, what had happened to that one thing we've loved saying the most? On or off camera?"

He knew those words would never be forgotten by anyone, especially the members of EXO.

"What had happened to the 'we are one forever', Sehun?" Suho asks, making Sehun eye him with sadder versions of eyes. It made Suho curse at himself for reminding that phrase to the latter, but what other option does he have?

He eyed him intensely until Sehun finally parted his lips.

"There has never been a 'forever', hyung." the most painful reply had come out of Sehun's own lips. "And that was proven true when we disbanded." And with that, Sehun grabs hold of Daeun's hand, walks off as if he hadn't been confronted by three important people in his life. The sight of Sehun walking away from them with his back turned might be one of the most painful things Jonathan can see in his existence. 

His tears were unstoppable. His sobs grew louder and louder until they morphed into loud wails of sadness.

Daeun wasn't exactly sure on what she saw.

But she saw Sehun crying.

"We can stay here for tonight. I've booked us an overnight room for now and tomorrow, we prepare to leave." Baekhyun instructed as he sat on the soft bed. He scanned on his phone, texting someone or something, before he raises his eyes at Suho. "We leave tomorrow and search the next nearest member. We got to Chen tomorrow, alright? He's got a fansigning event near here, so it'll be better if we target him first."

"That's be fine for me." Suho nodded before he pointed at the seemingly lifeless Jonathan. "But Baek, will he be okay if we leave without Sehun?"

Baekhyun's eyes hurriedly turned at Jonathan, who had his headphones on him as he eyes the sight outside the window. The two knew him since he was just thirteen so it wouldn't be difficult to know that his stance meant that he was disappointed not having Sehun convinced to come along. "Jonathan." Baekhyun called out as he neared towards the younger. "Hey," he calls again as he tapped the younger's shoulder. 

"Yes?" Jonathan blinked up as he removed his headphones.

"I'm sorry." Baekhyun immediately apologized as he ruffled Jonathan's hair. "Sehun... we can't convince him. He was the most hurt member when we had to disband. He had the biggest dreams, you know? Remember one time, when we were still active? He cried in a radio interview when he was asked about the whole group. I'm sure you know that."

"Yes."

"See? He was the most affected one when we had to break apart. I'm sorry that we can't do anything to let him join."

"... Hyerin-noona wouldn't be satisfied if the group isn't complete." Jonathan huffed as he stood up, sad eyes locked at Baekhyun. "She had always wished that EXO would be reunited and be one once more. At least before she goes. And without Sehun-appa, the group itself isn't complete."

"I know, I know. That's why we're sorry." Baekhyun huffed weakly as he resorted to huggin Jonathan, despite having the latter taller than him by a few inches. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry we can't fulfill Hyerin's last wish."

Jonathan felt his eyes water again, but feeling that the two older ones would be burdened if he lets his tears go again, he holds it in.

"Remember back then?" Suho suddenly says as he stood up to pat Jonathan's back. "You used to cry a lot. When you were younger. You'd either run to Kris or to me, or maybe to Hyerin. You crying is one way to release your hidden emotions and stress."

Jonathan's watery eyes met Suho's apologetic expression.

"Just because you're a bit older now doesn't mean you can't cry anymore." he smiles as he hugs Jonathan tightly after Baekhyun lets go of him to watch him beside. The hug was warm, somewhat that of a father's. Jonathan felt the warmth and enjoyed it, closing his eyes as he let the memories they've collected before replay in his minds. Oh, how happy they were indeed back then.

Full of innocence. Full of laughter. Not a care in the world.

"And like before, we're still here for you to cry on. So it's okay." Suho whispered.

And that was it.

Jonathan lets himself go and lets his tears roll down.

[A/N]

Hello lovelies! 
First off, sorry for the super slow update.
Second, I know it's a short update, but I promise I'll make sure to make it better by the next update! 
Third, feedbacks! Let me hear your suggestions and comments as far as the story is going. 
Love you lots! Stay awesome!