[CONTENTID1] CHAPTER FIFTY NINE - MELTING [/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]

“We’re heading the right way.”

“Yeah, okay, but you still haven’t told us how you know that,” Jiyeon says, addressing Sehun. He merely throws her a side glance but continues to walk ahead of the group, leading us. The AIs seem to trust his sense of direction and have refrained from using their own power to guide us.

“Just trust him,” I tell the pretty girl and she pouts, nodding. “He’s smart. He’ll get us to safety.” 

“I trust you, eonnie,” she says with a nod. I grin and return the gesture, before picking up the pace to catch up with Sehun. I fall into stride with him and smirk when my eyes take notice of the iPod in his pocket.

“Satellite navigator?” I ask. He nods. “How are you keeping it charged?”

“With this,” he takes the iPod out of his pocket, revealing the device to be in a strange case. “Solar-powered charger. Just because the electricity is out, doesn’t mean we can’t make our own.”

“We should find diesel or gas-powered generators,” I suggest and he nods, typing away on the device. “I’m guessing the internet is completely gone.”

“It’s weird,” he says, looking up from the iPod to stare straight ahead. “We grew up with technology, with internet. I knew how to crack codes and jailbreak an iPhone before I mastered time-reading.”

“It is weird,” I sighed, “it’s surreal. Like…I know this is happening. I grasped the reality and gravity of the situation we’re in after BamBam died. It felt real as soon as real consequences ensued…but, this. I don’t know.”

“I understand,” he says, clicking his tongue, and I bring up my eyes to look at his side-profile, “I never thought I’d live in a world in which the internet didn’t exist. I didn’t think it’d ever be possible but…I guess I was naïve.”

“Sehun,” I utter softly. He looks down at me and raises his shapely brows. His rosy lips are sealed shut as he waits for me to continue. “What were you like before all this? Before the war, I mean, not just the apocalypse.”

“What was I like?” he muses, pursing his lips and looking up at the sky. “I was…weird.” I snort a laugh and he shakes his head adamantly. “No, really. I liked the weirdest things as a kid. I never left my room, either playing Minecraft or watching weird Japanese animes about a space traveler mauling a kid with her guitar to release giant robots through a portal in his head.”

“What?”

“Don’t ask,” he grunts, shaking his head. I can’t help but laugh out loud, unable to picture Sehun as anything other than cool and serious. I can’t imagine a childish Oh Sehun, one who played video games and watched kids’ movies. It’s simply unfathomable. 

“Oh, God. Don’t tell me you were one of those kids that watched ,” I gasp, covering my mouth with my hands. He looks away, and I think I see the slightest tint of colour in his cheeks. I throw my head back and laugh obnoxiously. “Oh my God! You were, weren't you?”

“I was nine and curious, alright?” he grumbles, staring straight ahead. I continue to chortle mockingly and, finally, he shoves me. “Stop laughing at me.” Yet there’s a hint of a smirk on his face.

“Sorry, it’s just so hard to picture a freaky mini Sehun,” I giggle, playfully shoving him back. He looks down at me and grins, shrugging.

“I had peculiar tastes,” is all he offers as explanation. As I look at him, my eyes taking in every inch of his handsome face, I can’t help but wonder what on earth happened to him to make him this way: cold and untrusting. ‘Logical’ instead of…hopeful.

“What happened to you?” I ask timidly, not wanting to offend him but also wanting to know more about him, so badly. This is the most Sehun has ever spoken about himself, the most he’s ever revealed. I should be grateful and stop here but I’m greedy and curiosity killed the cat.

“I adapted,” he answers simply, his smile fading from his face. “The world pushed, so I yielded. I adapted in order to survive.”

“Did you— did you lose anyone important?” I ask, though I already know the brief answer. What I want, is the long, complicated one. “You’ve told me before that I remind you of someone you used to know. Someone you couldn’t save.”

“Like most, I had a family,” he starts and I’m completely thrown back that he’s actually choosing to divulge more information. I could’ve sworn he would shut me down. “My father was an alcoholic lawyer and my mother was a passive teacher. He never hit us but he’d say things that would make my mother and my sister cry. Sometimes, me too.”

“You had a sister?” 

“Twin,” he confirms, “she was the opposite of me. Popular, or as popular as a kid can be, pretty and she liked everything that was in style or trending. Still, we got along pretty well. I wasn’t strong, I was a lanky kid, but I’d get into fights if it meant protecting her.”

His eyes darken and his jaw tightens. He’s silent for a few minutes.

“What happened?” I probe softly.

“When the war broke out, my father forced us to move to China. He said that whenever faced with a choice, one should opt for the most logical one. Even at the beginning of the war, America and China had the upper hand. America, because of their weapons and China, because of their connections and resources. When I asked my father how he could convert so easily to our enemy’s side, he said you have to know which side is winning. Once you know…choose it.”

“I told you once that I’d choose the winning side above all else.”

I remember him saying that to me on the plane to Algeria.

“It wasn’t until years later that we came to realise that some of the soldiers in the town we were living in were taking advantage of both my sister and my mother,” he continues, still not meeting my gaze. I decide to look straight ahead, like him. “My father told me it was a necessary sacrifice. That even if they were being hurt, at least they weren't dead and their sacrifice would also keep the whole family alive.”

What kind of father… I shake my head.

“But I couldn’t take it. I burst into one of the rooms one day where I knew they’d taken my sister. I tried—” Sehun snorts a hollow laugh, shaking his head, “— I tried to kill the bastard. He was at least twice my size. Want to know where my heroic attempt got me, Hyerim?”

“Sehun…” I can’t even look at him. I know where this is going and I don’t like it.

“They punished me for ‘breaking the rules’ by killing Se Ah. My father finally decided to show some human emotion after that. Anger. Hatred. He was consumed by hatred and it caused him to lash out,” he recalls, his voice never once wavering. Though, it gets terser as he speaks. “He got himself and my mother killed.”

“What…what did they do to you?” I whisper, slowly lifting my eyes to look at him. 

“They changed me,” he answers. “They trained me. They turned me into what I am today. I’m almost thankful to them. They made me into a machine, someone who couldn’t feel. I became numb and it’s what got me here. It's how I haven't completely lost my mind.”

I gulp, “In Beijing…-”

“I was put on your team as a mole,” he reveals and I wince, looking away. “I gave them a lot of information on you. I had every intention on spoiling your plans to escape, but then…”

“Then?” I press. 

Please tell me it wasn’t all for nothing. Tell me I didn’t trust you for nothing. Don’t let me down, Oh Sehun.

“Then I grew attached,” he growls. “I stupidly grew attached to you and, eventually, to the others. You reminded me so much of my sister, the way you confidently spoke. The way you bounced back even after everything that was done to you.”

“That’s why you’re so protective of me,” I muse, closing my eyes briefly. “That’s why you always get angry when I put myself in danger for the sake of others. Se Ah did it and died for it.”

“Yes, and I didn’t save her,” he says, rubbing his face tiredly. “I was too weak to save her, but I’m not too weak to save you. That’s why I snap when you stupidly seek out danger. You endure pain for the sake of others, not realising that you’re hurting them more.”

“It’s what family does,” I mumble, looking down. “You take hits for each other, because you love each other too much.”

“But—”

“You put yourself in danger for me, too, Sehun,” I remind him. “Don’t you think that hurts me? It does but I have to accept it because it’s your choice. It’s your life. I accept that you care for me and want to protect me, just like I care for you and the others, and want to protect all of you.”

“But—”

“I win this one, Sehun.” I smile up at him and he sighs, shaking his head. I nudge him and he looks down, quirking a brow at me. “Hey.”

“Hey, back,” he replies, an amused gleam in his eyes.

“Thanks for opening up to me,” I say, really meaning it. “I know how hard it must’ve been.”

“Not too hard,” he shrugs. “You’re easy to talk to.”

“Maybe because I remind you of Se Ah,” I offer. He shakes his head, gazing at me intently. 

“I don’t just care for you because you remind me of my sister, Hyerim,” he states. Before I can ask him what he means by that, he looks up at the sky and curses under his breath. He stops walking and turns to the group. “Alright, we need to find somewhere sheltered to stay for the night.”

“Shouldn’t we keep going?” Karim asks, adjusting the assault rifle strapped to his back. “We’re in the middle of nowhere, we’re burning daylight and god knows how long we have until we reach the next city.”

“I’d usually agree but it’s going to