[CONTENTID1] CHAPTER SEVENTEEN - CONFESSION[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]

Double update!

"What. The. ," BamBam blurts out, his eyes glued on Hyoyeon. "You like Henry hyung!?" She walks back over to me and sits down in her spot. I'm completely speechless. If I was suspicious of anyone, it was BamBam. It seems almost every time him and I are together, she finds a way to intervene or voice her discomfort. First, when she smacked his hand away outside the gas station. There's also the fact that she got uncomfortable when Henry asked if I wanted to share a room with him and BamBam...but maybe that was the first sign that it wasn't BamBam that she liked in the first place. I can't think of any other signs, though.

"Since when do you like Henry?" Jessica asks, her brows knotted. "I thought you might have a thing for BamBam or Kyuhyun."

"Me too!" I exclaim in agreement.

Hyoyeon scoffs. "Please, Kyuhyun is an and BamBam is a child. No offence, BamBam-ah."

"Offence taken," BamBam mutters, folding his arms. I giggle and throw a card at him, grabbing his attention. He grins and I flash him a wink to which he responds with a blown kiss. 

"I didn't see this coming at all," Youngjae laughs, shaking his head. He then looks over to Daehyun and pats his back. "Poor hyung, dreams crushed." Hyoyeon blushes guiltily. 

"Sorry, Daehyun-ah," she mumbles and he shrugs though anyone can tell he's slightly dejected. My eyes flicker to Henry who still hasn't spoken a word and is frozen in shock after the kiss. Jackson nudges him and whispers something in his ear that snaps him out of his daze. He clears his throat.

"I, uh, um....yeah," he stutters and I bite back a laugh. Hyoyeon squirms next to me and my laughter completely dies. Now I know why she was so hesitant to tell me: it's evident that Henry doesn't like her back, not in the same way. Now I feel like a jerk for making her let everyone know about her crush on him. "Thank you, Hyoyeon-ah." His cheeks turn red and so do hers but for different reasons.

"This is way too awkward. Hurry up and pick someone, Hyoyeon," Kyuhyun orders, voicing everyone's thoughts. Said girl glares at him and clears . Her eyes dart to mine. I gulp.

"Truth or dare?"

"I've already been--"

"Truth or dare!" She repeats.

"Truth!" I blurt out.

"Who exactly have you kissed in this room?" She asks and I freeze, my eyes going wide. "And I don't mean on the cheek, I mean on the lips." I gulp and look around, seeing that everyone's eyes are on me. "Answer the question."

"Yeah, Hyerim-ah, answer the question," Jongin grins and I nervously chew on my lip. 

"I want names," Hyoyeon adds. I take a deep breath and decide to just get this over as quickly as possible.

"Jongin, BamBam...and Kyuhyun," I answer. The room falls silent. 

BamBam breaks first. "Kyuhyun!? When the hell did you kiss Kyuhyun!?"

"Does it matter?" I ask and he gapes at me.

"It sure as hell does!" Jackson scoffs. He pins Kyuhyun with a deadly glare. "When did you kiss her? Why?" 

"I don't think you want to know the details," Kyuhyun replies smugly and I throw my wine glass at him. Sehun catches it in the air and puts it back down. I throw him a glare, too. "And why is everyone looking at me? What about BamBam and Jongin, when did you kiss them?"

"I don't have to answer to you," I snort.

"Yeah but you have to answer to me," Hyoyeon smirks. "I'm your best friend. Now, spill." I roll my eyes and she pouts.

"Jongin was my first kiss, it happened just before we were sold separately," I divulge and they all listen in silent fascination. "BamBam...well, that one was a shock." I send him an accusing look and he blushes. "That was the day I killed Yìfán." 

"Whaaaaaaaat? You remember that?" He laughs awkwardly and I giggle, nodding. "Oops." Both Jackson and Henry smack him over the head. "A-pa!" 

"Idiot," they say in unison. 

"What? It was in the spur of the moment!" BamBam retorts, earning him a scoff from Kyuhyun. "Something to say?" Everyone's brows shoot up in surprise at his direct confrontation. 

"No, not really," Kyuhyun replies with a shrug. "I'm just wondering why you're trying to hide the fact that you obviously have a thing for Hyerim." My jaw drops and I shoot him with mental daggers. 

"Wh-what!?"

"What?" He repeats, blinking innocently. 

"I don't like Hyerim. I mean, of course I like her but platonically. That's all!" BamBam argues, his eyes going everywhere but never meeting mine. Jackson and Henry both stiffen next to him. "If anyone likes Hyerim, it's Jackson." 

"What!?" Jackson exclaims, sitting upright. "What about Jongin? He doesn't even try to hide the fact that he likes her!"

"No, I don't. You know why? Because I'm not a coward," Jongin replies and the air suddenly gets very thin. "I'm not afraid to admit that I like Hyerim as more than a friend." He then reaches over the table and takes my hand. "Hyerim, I l--"

"I slept with Kyuhyun!" I blurt out and his mouth slams shut. The room seems to have fallen impossibly quieter, so much so that I swear my heart beat is audible to all ears. I retract my hand and meet his eyes, then cast a gaze over the others. "I slept with Kyuhyun."

"What the !?" Hyoyeon exclaims.

"When did this happen!?" Jessica demands. 

"A few weeks ago," I answer, not wanting to be specific. It is, after all, my business. I don't have to discuss it further than I want to. The only reason I blurted it out in the first place was to stop Jongin from finishing his sentence. I have a feeling I know what he was going to say and if I'm right, I don't want to hear it. "It was a one time thing. But it happened." 

"I'm going to kill him!" Jackson growls as he jumps to his feet. Kyuhyun's eyes bulge out and he quickly gets to his feet. I get to mine and stand in between them, holding out my hands to keep them apart. "Move, Hyerim."

"Don't worry, I'll kill him instead," Henry snarls and I jut my leg out, holding him back with my foot against his chest. Jessica bursts out laughing and I shoot her a glare. "Hyerim, remove you're pretty foot from my chest."

"Not until you stand down. Both of you!" I shout but their eyes are fixed on Kyuhyun. BamBam stands and I narrow my eyes at him. "Don't you dare."

"Watch me," he replies, advancing on him. Jongin moves in, too, and I let out a long, defeated groan.

"I don't have enough limbs!" I whine. "Will one of you help me? Seriously!" Sehun grabs Jongin's arm and tugs him back, shoving him onto the couch behind him. My brows shoot up at the display of strength. Who knew someone so lean possessed such power? Yoongi walks over to Jackson and pushes him back down, again, to my amazement. Daehyun and Youngjae free me from BamBam and Henry. "Thank you."

"Sit the down, man," Daehyun says to Kyuhyun, who does as he is told. "You really ed up this time. Quite literally." 

"We're all mature adults," I start, meeting each of their gazes. "We can have a civil conversation about this."

"Sure," Jackson agrees. "After I rip his spine out." I roll my eyes.

"You guys need to stop. I know you care about me but, correct me if I'm wrong, this sure looks like your affections run deeper than friendship." They glance at each other then fix their eyes back on me. I sigh and shake my head. "I feel like I'm repeating myself but it's probably just because I've been saying this to myself for years, not to anyone else." I take a deep breath. "I do not have anything more than platonic affectionate for all of you. I can't help that." 

"That's bull," Kyuhyun snorts and I shoot him a silencing glare. He looks away.

"Hyerim, he's right. If you'd only--"

"Will you just shut up, Jongin?" I snap. "Stop thinking that you can 'fix' me. You can't. I'm not a broken toy that you can just repair. I'm shattered glass, Jongin. Sure, you can glue me back together but the pieces will never fit the same. The cracks will never disappear." His mouth shuts and he just looks out me, pupils dilated. I realise that I'm breathing heavily and close my eyes. I try to calm myself down. "I'm going to bed."

As I walk away, he tries to reach out to grab me but Sehun holds him back. "Hyerim--"

"Let her go," he murmurs, my hearing just acute enough to pick it up. For some reason, his words hold much more weight than they should. I feel as though he's asking Jongin to do more than just physically let me walk away. Or perhaps I'm just reading too much into him. I walk out of the living area and go to my room, closing the door behind me. 

I find myself lying in my bed again, as I was when Hyoyeon interrupted my thoughts. I almost wish she, or anyone else for that matter, would interrupt them again. Whenever I think too much or too deeply, I slip into a sort of paralytic stature in which I can't escape my own mind. It's like being in a nightmare but not being able to wake up. It's like being under water but not being able to swim up to catch my breath. 

There's a knock on the door but this time I don't bother answering. It opens and closes, and I hear footsteps getting closer. Hyoyeon and Jessica stand above me and I raise a brow at the way they're standing: one with her arms folded and the other with her hands on her hips. 

"Mwo?" 

"Are we gonna talk?" Jessica asks, tapping her foot. I shrug. Hyoyeon scoffs and shoves my legs out of the way as she climbs onto my bed. Jessica comes on after her and they sit with their legs folded. "Get up."

"We're not leaving till you talk," Hyoyeon declares and I sigh dramatically, staring up at the roof. "Work with us, Hy