IV

At Taehyun’s

Tokyo was a cold city if you didn’t know anyone.

That was what Seungyoon had learnt after a month of dull work at the embassy. He wasn’t that good at starting new relationship, apparently, as every good occasion slipped through his fingers quite easily and he found himself in too many embarrassing situations to be able to socialize shamelessly.

Seungyoon sighed loudly as he drank his morning coffee, heading to work once again. He truly wished something would happened to him, anything, but he knew that in life you have to work your to get things done and nothing is given.

As he kept strolling heedlessly, sipping the last drops of coffee, he noticed a small tavern. Taehyun’s. The name was Korean and he smiled, finally recognizing something familiar. The wooden door needed a fresh hand of paint and the colored banners a wash, but he still was draw by it.

It was near the embassy, anyway, so he decided to give it a try that night.

It was a ramen tavern and that was quite a shock.

The place was small but cozy, and he liked the comfortable and cheerful atmosphere. Seungyoon decided to sit at the counter, right in front of the cook.

He studied the man who was cooking ramen in its broth. He was quite young, well fitted and with an unforgettable face. Seungyoon didn’t know how to define it: beautiful, maybe, or eerie; with a straight, petite nose and stern dark lips; his eyes were small but charming and deep, partially covered by round glasses, and his droopy eyebrows gave him an astonished expression, even if he was committed and concentrated. Seungyoon liked his black hair, silky and soft – he had the stupid and most inappropriate desire to run his fingers through it, to feel its smoothness.

“What would you like to order?”, he said with a small smirk on his lips.

Seungyoon smiled back. “What’s the best?”

The cook chuckled. “It depends on tastes and, to be very blunt, I can assure you that each dish here is the best”.

“Too much confidence is never too good, you know”, Seungyoon couldn’t help but retort. “But then... what’s your favorite?”

He grinned. “Tonkotsu... you can never go wrong with pork”.

“Then tonkotsu will be”.

The cook nodded mechanically, then looked at him, wavering as he had something he wanted to say but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to.

Seungyoon smiled at him. This was probably the most normal and easy talk he had in weeks, even if it was with a complete stranger, and he didn’t really want to scare him off.

“Are you... perhaps Korean?”, the cook asked in the end.

Seungyoon nodded in reply, then said: “And are you Taehyun? The Taehyun?”

“Him in flesh and blood”.

“I’m Kang Seungyoon”.

“I almost didn’t notice, your accent is practically impeccable, but... the way you pronounce some z, sometimes – that’s what betrayed you”, his smile widened and Seungyoon liked how that sweetened his face , “I’m Nam Taehyun, by the way”.

Seungyoon wished his ramen would last forever, but his hungry belly wasn’t of the same opinion, so he was able to rejoice Taehyun’s company for just 30 minutes. It was more than enough, though, to convince him to come back the next week.

He became an habitué.

Every Thursday night he was there. At first he tried every ramen possible, but after a while he finally chose his favorite and started to order “the usual”.

He found out that Taehyun had decided to move to Japan when he turned 18, following a dream nurtured by his passion for Japanese literature and a strong passion for mangas. At 20, after rambling for the whole Tokyo aimlessly, without a precise aspiration and resolution, he didn’t really know what to do with his life.

Then he got to knew Shiro, his teacher, the man who made him find a new, unknown love for cooking.  Taehyun learnt how to appreciate every little detail of the cooking process and how important the presentation was – because you just didn’t eat with your mouth, but also with your eyes –; as he got better, he finally found his calling: ramen. A food he had always liked and, even if it looked quite basic, that could hide more difficulties and small accoutrements than everyone could think about.

And now he was there, with his own tavern.

Seungyoon talked of himself as Taehyun told him his story and found out that it was nice to have someone – a casual someone – that listened to you without too much effort, but without being indifferent. He liked it a lot.

At one point, Seungyoon started to ask himself what were his intentions with Taehyun. Then, he had to remind himself he couldn’t really have any intention with a perfect stranger.

But he wasn’t one, wasn’t he? – Seungyoon asked himself – after all those weeks and those words and the smiles they shared and how Seungyoon could read in his eyes the soft pleasure of recognizing him, when Seungyoon stepped in the tavern, every Thursday night. He wasn’t.

Which led to... having intentions, somehow?

He found him rather, nope, extremely y.

That smile of his, funny, warm, but somewhat charming, and the way he lightly bit his tongue, when he was thinking deeply; how he fixed his hair, tucking some locks behind his ear; the line of his long, white neck, quite evident as he threw his head back, laughing at Seungyoon’s jokes; and his nice, broad shoulders – even more than that, his collarbone, usually hidden by clothes, sometimes glimpsing through the fabric, and his strong, big hands, with long masculine fingers.

Seungyoon found himself weighing the nice possibility of having one of those fingers in his mouth; it must be salty for the miso and soy sauce he always used in his dishes. Maybe the skin was thick, but Seungyoon could soften it with his tongue.

Seungyoon decided to go  there on Saturday too, that week. He needed his fix of ramen – or Taehyun, most probably – and thought he could afford to make it a little more obvious.

He actually got there late, as one of his colleague had made him lose some time, but luckily it was still open. Taehyun was surprised to see him there, but there wasn’t annoyance painted on his face.

Seungyoon ordered something different, that night, and ate slowly, savoring the thick and salty flavor of the broth. As almost no one was there anymore, Taehyun looked at him the whole time, even if he tried to keep himself busy, and Seungyoon liked that.

“So…”, Taehyun started, without really knowing what to say next.

“It was delicious”, Seungyoon said, keeping his eyes on the bowl.

“You’re the last client”, he tried to sound indifferent, but Seungyoon could hear his voice quivering; “I’ll probably should close the shop soon”.

“Then I should go”, he whispered and saw Taehyun stiffening. He raised his eyes and met his gaze. Seungyoon could read everything on his face, every little doubt and wish, as Taehyun kept looking at him.

His eyes were the key. And those were also inviting him, now, silently and with uncertainty.

Seungyoon got up, walked along the counter until he could enter the small area where Taehyun stood, and then waited. Taehyun shrugged, but he reached him, getting nearer him until they were few inches apart.

“Don’t worry”, Seungyoon whispered gently, “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want”.

Taehyun nodded, his eyes telling Seungyoon how much he wanted him, but at the same time how he really didn’t know how to manage all of that. He must be new in that kind of things, Seungyoon guessed and found him even cuter than before.

It was his turn, this time.

Seungyoon dropped to his knees. Taehyun looked at him from upon, furrowing his brow, but Seungyoon nodded, reassuring, as he brushed his hand on his groin.

He kept until he could feel him raising up, then he let him free. With slow and affectionate attention, he took care of him.

Seungyoon liked to have him inside his mouth. Even more than that – the simple skin contact and the hot tightness and friction – he loved how Taehyun moaned just for him and him only, how his fingers tugged his hair instinctively and he tried to call his name as he was coming.

But then, after everything finished and Seungyoon got up, he realized that maybe that wasn’t really what he should have done. He could still feel Taehyun’s embarrassment as he tried to look into his eyes, and the effort he put into avoiding his stare, staying aback as much as he could.
Seungyoon didn’t like that unpromising coldness.

With a forced smile, he left.

For some weeks he didn’t go there, at Taehyun’s.

It was terrible. Seungyoon wanted to see his face once again; more than that, he missed the hours spent talking together and the warm sensation he felt as he was there, enjoying the ramen cooked by him, drinking some sake as Taehyun kept telling him stories.

He missed him the most, his totality.

A Thursday Seungyoon decided he had it enough.

After work, he headed to his favorite ramen tavern. He had to calm himself before stepping inside, but he could do it.

He got to sit at the counter without Taehyun noticing. When Taehyun raised his eyes, after the ramen he was cooking was ready, he was so startled that he almost dropped the bowl in his hand. “Seungyoon”, he stuttered.

Seungyoon nodded, smiling sheepishly.

“I-I thought you would never come bac- the usual, right?”, he changed subject, collecting himself as he checked one of the pot on the fire.

“Yes”.

“We didn’t even exchanged our numbers”, Taehyun whispered, his eyes boring the broth he was stirring with strength. Too much, Seungyoon considered. “I thought I’d lost you”.

Seungyoon started to smile, now happily, as he could hear once again his voice – and affection in it, mixed up with worry and a little bit of natural frustration. “I couldn’t really leave you, even after that”, Seungyoon said.

Taehyun looked at him. A little, beautiful chuckle broke his composure. “I should be the embarrassed one. I really didn’t know how to react, it was... I never had... I simply couldn’t show you well enough how happy I was, at that time, as I was too worried about, I don’t know, stupid things like... what we were then, what we would be after that, what you thought of me and what I thought of you – which was stupid, because I perfectly knew what was in my mind, even if I wasn’t brave enough to say it at loud, and I could have asked you what were your feelings, instead of acting cold just after- after you know. And basically, yes”, he stumbled and Seungyoon knew he loved him.

He laughed sincerely. “Taehyun, I’m sorry I made you go through all of this, I should have come the next Thursday as usual, but I was too... stupidly proud to do so. But I couldn’t really forget you... and your ramen”, he joked.
Taehyun smiled, confident. “Of course, you know that each dish here is the best”.

Seungyoon nodded, compliant, and replied: “Just because you’re the cook”.

Taehyun couldn’t help but smile even wider. He was genuinely happy and he couldn’t hide it. He didn’t want to. Seungyoon followed him with eyes, enjoying every little second of him.

As Taehyun gave some bowls to the waiter and placed some others on the counter, he slipped a small paper next to Seungyoon’s one.
Seungyoon looked at him with interest, then he checked the paper, opening it. He ended up laughing, holding his stomach as he tried to not be too loud. Taehyun eyed him, a persistent smile painted on his face as he enjoyed Seungyoon’s happiness.

On that paper, in black hasty characters, there was Taehyun’s phone number.

*

A/N: Inspired by this and this. Tonkotsu is, according to Wikipedia, "It is similar to the Chinese baitang (白湯) and has a thick broth made from boiling pork bones, fat, and collagen over high heat for many hours, which suffuses the broth with a hearty pork flavor and a creamy consistency that rivals milk, melted butter or gravy".