They look at each other quite a time. And Sungyeol could feel it. This kind of different air... Kind of tingling... Kind of... Woohyun leaning closer to him. He just stare at that beautiful orbs. Body relax on that futon. His heart jumped a bit when he could smell his shampoo. But then he groaned when a strong finger flicked his forehead. He frowned with a pout at his friend. 

"It hurts, idiot." He rubbed it slowly.  

Woohyun chuckled. "What are you thinking?"  

He just shrugs his shoulder. "Nothing... Maybe imagining life after this?" He stretched his long limbs and at last rest his arm above his head. Sighed tiredly.  

Woohyun at his side just fall down beside him. Stomach on the futon. He let some space enough for Hoya at the center between them. Head tilted restfully on the pillow towards Sungyeol. He could see his perfect side profile. What a sharp jawline and silky hair. He put his hand below the pillow resisting himself from reaching the other. His eyes stroll along his long arm upwards. And then he catches something there, at his wrist. A scar? It's not so visible under the dim light, but his eyes can see it perfectly. It's like a scar from a cut.  

"Yeollie..." His hand out now reaching his wrist.  

Sungyeol turned. "Hmm?" Sungyeol's wrist is now safe on his palm. So that he can really trace the scar.  

"What's this?" He eyed the person below him.  

"Ohh, that. Ummm..." His other hand scratches his back of head.  

"What are you doing Woohyun?" Hoya came with a towel on his shoulder. "Ohh, that." is the response when he see Woohyun hold Sungyeol's wrist.  

Woohyun frowned. Is he the only one that didn't know about this? He eyed both of them that looking elsewhere. "What? I think both of you own me a story about this?" 

He saw Sungyeol eyed Hoya as if looking a permission from him. Hoya nodded slightly and he heard Sungyeol's heavy sigh. He slowly pulling out his hand from Woohyun's grab.  

* 

His hand shaking like crazy. A razor close to his left's wrist. His face was drenched with tears. It hurts. All his body are hurt. But not as hurt like his heart. But he can't open up his chest and stab it to pour out all his aches. No, it's not like he can't. It's more like he doesn't have a courage to. The least he can do is slaughter the veins on the wrist. But he's afraid. And at the same time he want to let it all go. All his life.  

He put the pressure on it. Urghh. It's hurts and bloods start to reveal. But somehow it doesn't cut through his veins and just on his skin. He pulled it back when the pain is unbearable. He panted hard. He just laugh at his silly action. Can't even killed himself. Funny. Looking the opened wound on his wrist. At least the ache on his heart faded away a little.  

He bang his head on the toilet bowl. Once. Then again. And again with river of tears running down his face. He felt how worthless he is. How ugly. How insignificance. He sighed and stare at his running bloods. Dropping bit by bit to the bathroom's white tiles. Somehow he find out that he have to clean this mess. He chuckled again at his weirdness and get up.  

There's a loud knock from the door. "Sungyeol..!! Faster. You've been in there for an hour now. I've a practice in 15 minutes."  

Luckily he had finished cleaning up. Using a dirty cloth to cover his treated wound he opened up the door. Facing an anxious and fumed Sungjong. His face remained emotionless. And then he get a respond in a hard bump on the shoulder and a loud door slam.  

He snickers. He's the one that should be doing that. What a . But he can't avoid him as they are roommates and to add the unlucky situation they share the whole semester in the same class together. He sighed and flopped on his bed. He just let the wet towel hanging on the edge of his bed.  

He quickly grabbed a bracelet that cover enough his wrist when he heard the door opened up. There's popped Hoya. He saw him coming closer and stand in front of him.  

There's a frowned formed on Hoya's when he picked the wet towel and  throw at the laundry basket. "What's with a bracelet this late nights? Going somewhere?" 

"Ohh, no. I just find this bracelet's too beautiful and I can't keep it out from my hands. Haha." He try to fake a laugh.  

His frowned deepened but later Sungyeol guessed he brushed it off at his friend weirdness. He let a relieved sighed out silently. "Okay, whatever. You'll find it boring someday and try to sell it at me. Let me tell you early, I'm not interested." 

"Haha, okay. Okay." He put his hands up in defeat.  

"So... Are you okay now? Feeling Better?" No matter how y and sassy Hoya can get, he always defend his friend. Be there if he ever needed obediently. But with a cuss of course.  

"Yeah. Cried my heart out loud before." Sungyeol pushed himself back on the wall. Keeping his knee close to his chest and rested his full cheek on it. Keeping his face towards Hoya.  

"Look at your puffed eyes. How can you go to class tomorrow?" Hoya put his palm on his face and rubbed his cheek with his thumb softly. Sungyeol giggled at the comforting gestures. Hoya can be too sweet sometimes.  

"I don't know. Just go and ignore all people probably. It's already three days and I had some test coming up." Then he saw Hoya face changed to a glare. Sungjong must be out already. He sighed but he keep his posture. Not willing to face the one that breaks his heart. 

"What?" A loud annoying voice coming from Sungjong. 

"How could you?" Hoya growled. 

"Well, he's the one that comes to me. Thanks to your ugly friend, I got his handsomely charming boyfriend. Oops, ex-boyfriend.." He laugh evilly.  

Sungyeol hide his face on his knee. Can't stand those evil voice. But a comforting pat on his back followed with a hug from his friend sure lessen his stress.  

"There's no ugly in Yeol's dictionary. You're the ugly one. Seducing other people boyfriend." Hoya sass.  

"Urghh!! I'm not ugly you ." With that Sungjong throw a pillow that hit both of them and bolted out.  

Hoya sighed. "I don't understand how could this happened. I though Sungjong was okay. And I don't think he's the type of flirting with other's belonging. And he had been known you're with Myungsoo since what.. Since he's first stepping inside this room. Just... Urghh.. I wish I could choke that girly thing and Myungsoo to death." He fumed. 

"Haha, I wish I could do that too. If you don't understand, let me give you the answer. I'm ugly." He stare on his black orbs.  

"What? You're NO ugly. Sure you're weird all the times with all the shrieking and commotion you always do. But how the hell the highty-mighty Myungsoo could fall for you if you're ever ugly? Nonsense." 

"Really? But I always do wonder why he ever want me before." He said with a total sulking face.  

"Hey. Hey" Hoya grabbed his face. "Look. You're now just having a heartbreak, okay? So that's why your self-esteem is too low right now. But believe me, you're too far from that ugly words okay?" 

He's stunned for a while. 

"Okay?" 

Sungyeol nodded hesitatingly. "O-Okay. But how can I know that?" 

" Well, if you're... the mighty me might not have fallen for you..." He saw him blushed and looking away. Oh yeah, how he could forgot that. He smiled at last.  

"But it's just a crush ages ago, okay? I'm too stupid to realized how weird are you then!" Hoya let him go. Slightly pushed him. He giggled at his action and words.  

"Haha, sorry then for being weird." He somehow reached the other's hair and ruffled it. Sungyeol's not the one that's love showing his affection towards others especially the manly Hoya. But Hoya can be so cute and charming at the same time so he can't help it. He giggled more when he saw his blush deepened and push his hand away shyly.  

"But you know Hoya, I feel a total hatred towards him right now. Like I've used all my cursing and swearing in my dictionary towards him. I could have slice his body piece by piece if I can to. But.. Huuhhh..." He dapped his chest lightly. Sighing. "I know I can't do that. Because I'm sure once he got on his knee begging for forgiveness, I'll just accept him without thinking." 

Hoya silenced.  

"It's unfair. ! He's unfair! Cheating in front of me like that. With my roommate." He kicked the pillow beside him. But it can't satisfy his anger and distress yet.  

"I don't know what to say, Yeollie." They silenced for a while. But then, "Hey, maybe because he never felt being left. He feel he's the one in control. Feeling superior. Feel that no matter what you won't leave him. So why don't you just do that?" Hoya blinked excitedly.  

"Do what?" But Sungyeol can be so absent-minded sometimes. And his being-confused-always-at-the-wrong-moment almost makes Hoya chocked him to death.  

"Left him, you idiot!"  

"Haven't I told you before? Even when I want too, I just can't do it for real!" He barks back. 

"And who told you to do it for real?" A sneer formed on his lips.  

"Huh? What will I get from that?" Then it hit him. Sungyeol's mind is getting clear now. He fully understand what Hoya means now. He'll just make Myungsoo beg for him. A revenge.  

"But do you think it'll works? Because I've tried it before with Dongwoo, and the plan failed miserably." 

"Eww, don't remind me that. His sloppy kiss on your cheek was too childish that I though you're his mother. He can't even lie, how can you ask him to be your pretend-boyfriend? And. And Myungsoo know you so well that he just shrug it off just like it never happens." 

"Urghh, I hate him. So this time.. We have to make it real. With.." Sungyeol scratched his upper cheek nervously.  

"Yeah, with me then." Hoya look at his side. "Moreover, Myungsoo's the first one that noticed I have a crush on you before. So maybe he will believe more if you're with me? And.. I don't really believe Sungjong will do that to you. He was a good kid. But.. I mean..."  

Sungyeol frowned. But somehow he figured out Hoya have a little crush on the pretty Sungjong. Look at how he fidgeting anxiously. He smiled. "Okay. Okay. We'll do it. But if it doesn't go like we planned to, we just have to bear with the aftereffect. Is it okay?" 

Hoya gulped down his saliva. But he nodded anyway.  

So they continue with their plan. Sungyeol come back to class after MIA for 3 days. Myungsoo didn't even looking for him. Fine. He has Hoya for now. And he stick to him like a glue. He tried to absorb his skinship openly because his touch is a little different than Myungsoo. Myungsoo is full of lust and greed and possessiveness. But Hoya despite his manly build, he's too sweet and cute but charming at the same time.  

"Yeol-ah, let's grab some coffee?" Myungsoo tagged him from behind. He scoffed. Acted friendly as if nothing happens. .  

"Nope, hanging with Hoya after this. See you." with that he walk towards the waiting Hoya behind the faculty's buildings. Yes, he did it! He let out a silent victorious sigh and walked cheerfully to the frowned Hoya. But Hoya didn't sass him like he always do when seeing his freaky self but just patted his head lovingly.   

But then he saw Sungjong that grabbed Myungsoo's arm gleefully. Touching his Myungsoo everywhere. He's fumed but later his heart wreck when Myungsoo return Sungjong with a bear hug. A face of affection that he used to show him. His tears almost falling but Hoya grabbed his face and peck him on the cheek make him freeze on the spot. He blinked at the sneered Hoya who find his face is too funny right now. He placed his hand on the spot where he start blushing. 

"Awww, does my Yeollie start blushing? I should done this long ago." Hoya grabbed his waist and drag him away from Myungsoo. They had fun that day. Fooling around at the arcade. Laughing at Hoya's adlib. Singing all hearts out at the karaoke till late night.  

And at last he opened his dorm's door at 2 a.m. Facing a glaring Sungjong. Why the heck he's still up now just to glare at him? He don't even want to see his face right now. But when his head hit the soft pillow. His mind wandering on the scene before he had fun with Hoya. It keeps repeating in his mind again and again. Throwing him to the edge of the emotion. He can't help being hurt like this. Myungsoo is torturing him. He holds his phone dearly to his heart. Showing their perfect snap of loving picture. He sighed painfully. Cursing and swearing him like three days ago, but still it can't reduce his aching heart even the slightest.   

So he quietly sit from his bed. Glancing once at Sungjong's bed before up to bathroom. He promised he just want to feel it just once again. He need to let this thing out. This thing that make him feel so insecure, so weak. When he locked the door, he looking for his silver blade that he hide behind the toilet. He stare at the shiny thin thing with a shaking hand. Please, just let the bloods out once and he's done. So that the ache will flow like the bloods flow from his arm.  

Tears down running his pretty face that he find so ugly right now. He placed it at his left wrist. Please, just the skin. He promised he won't go near the artery. Sungyeol doesn't know who he's pleading right now. But it just go out from his mind.  

So he put the pressure on it.