“Thanks for the coffee” what a great timing as he really needs some good cup of coffee. He sips on it and his eyes sparkling. This is good.

 

“It’s nothing. So… ehem… what’s the deal?”

 

5 years long of not contacting or talking with each other makes Woohyun feels rather awkward. It’s true he wants Sungyeol to come back to this house and he almost going insane waiting for him. But he somehow get through that Sungyeol will never come back or approach him anymore. So what’s now?

 

“I can’t visit my old friend?”

 

“No no, it’s not like that. But…” he sighed. “Anyway, how’s Myungsoo and the kid?”

 

“He’s fine. The kid also fine. Suzy’s too” Sungyeol nodded his head. “And you?”

 

“Huh? Me?” Woohyun scratch his head. “Yeah, I’m fine”

 

Sungyeol noticed how Woohyun’s voice shivered. He must be holding back. And hate him. He can’t see form his face, but who wouldn’t? Well, he’s been a mean friend back then. Sungyeol slurp the last drop of his drink.

 

“So… I know you’re not comfortable so I’ll get things straight. Woohyun…”

 

He saw Woohyun gulped. “Ye-yeah?”

 

Sungyeol stand up and bows 90 degrees. “I’m sorry for what’d I done. I don’t remember much, but I’m sorry for everything. Everything. From when I suddenly move out from your house to being oblivious about your feelings. I’m just… sorry”

 

Sungyeol close his eyes shut while bowing. He won’t know if Woohyun will punch him on the face or get a hard scold from him or whatever. He waits for his respond. But a minute become 10 minutes. And its dead silence. Is he talking with a ghost?

 

“Uhh… Woohyun…?” He looked up hesitatingly.

 

There’s Woohyun with a flushed red face, hand cover his mouth and eyes filled with… Is it a tears? Sungyeol’s stunned a while.

 

“Woo-woohyun. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to” Sungyeol’s hand reach up to hold Woohyun arms. Realizing that, Woohyun push it away. A kind of harshly.

 

“No. Don’t apologize. I don’t wanna hear it from you. Not after 5 years. After I got over you” His voice deeply shaken in Sungyeol’s ear. Woohyun don’t even want to look him in the eyes. His right hand grabbed his other arm tightly like he needs some strength from it. Sunyeol cannot stand this. Looking Woohyun become like this is not his purpose of coming here.

 

Sungyeol retreat back. Give a reasonable space between them so that Woohyun will be at least comfortable. “My real intention is, I just want to apologize. You may and may not forgive me. I’ll accept it whatever your respond. Like I said, I’m so deeply sorry. You can hit me or punch me. But let me apologize first”

 

”I said, don’t apologize!!!” Woohyun punch the table nearby. “How much more you need to wreck me? If you apologize what does it makes me?! Just let me hate you all I want!!!”

 

Sungyeol’s stunned. It’s the first time he sees Woohyun being like this. His face shows much anger and hatred. Towards him. And those tears just make him feel guiltier.

 

“Feel free to hate me all you want. But I’m still sorry Hyun-ah” Once again he bowed deeply.

 

Woohyun dashed forward and pushed Sungyeol, making him stumbled over the table leg and fall down. Sungyeol grimaced in hurt but before he could stand up, Woohyun pinned him down by hovering above him. This is not good.

 

“Who do you think you are?!” Woohyun grabbed his collar. Sungyeol panicked and try to pry away Woohyun’s hand that almost chocked him but what can he do when Woohyun suddenly become strong like this. He seriously doesn’t dare to stare him in the eyes as Woohyun gives off a very dangerous aura.

 

“Hyun-ah… Look. Calm the heck do-”

 

“-Who give you the right to call me Hyun?!” The gripped on his collar tightened hardly.

 

“Coughs… I’m sorry… Let me g-”

 

“Don’t sorry me!!!” A punch land on his face. A hard one.

 

Sungyeol could feel blood flowing out when his lips scratched with his own teeth harshly. He wipe the blood with back of his hand and grimaced when he taste the iron from the blood. Woohyun hand still on his collar. He daringly stares on Woohyun eyes. But all he can see is hurt and sadness from his eyes.

 

“Woohyun-ah…”

 

“Please. Don’t apologize to me. What would that make me Yeol? I… I finally got over you year ago. Why now?” He sobbed hard to his chest. Pushing him lay flat on the soft carpet.

 

Sungyeol just let him be. He sighed relieved. His hand unconsciously patted Woohyun’s hair. “I don’t know. Just take it as I’m being possessed by something 5 years ago and just realized my mistakes now. I come to apologize to you”

 

He hears a quirky snort from him. “Do you think I would believe that?”

 

He shrugs. “Depends”

 

They keep silenced for 15 comfortable minutes. “So…” Woohyun still had his head on his chest. Hearing Sungyeol’s heartbeat gives him a soothing music. He had waited for so long for this. So long. And he don’t want for this moment end just like that.

 

“Hurm?”

 

“What’s after this?”

 

“Have you forgiven me?”

 

“I don’t know. That punch was so not worth my 5 years of wailing”

 

“Did Nam Woohyun really wailed?”

 

Woohyun rolled his eyes. “Damn you” He breathed in. “But yes. I did wail. For you. For 5 full years. I can’t believe I’m so stupid”

 

“I’m sorry”

 

“Don’t apologize!” Woohyun nudge his head up.

 

Sungyeol held his hand up in defeat. “Okay okay. What did you expect me to do then?”

 

“Anything but saying sorry”

 

“Why?”

 

“That makes me feel damn pathetic” Woohyun looks elsewhere. “And I won’t have a reason to hate you”

 

“Well, you don’t need a reason to hate me after what I’d done. It’s my fault, so I’ll take the aftermath” Sungyeol lift up his back a little and support his body with his hand.

 

Woohyun turned to him. “Do you think you’re that cool for that?”

 

Sunyeol jerked a little. “Is this thing called cool? Bleeding from a mere punch on the face and being denied to ask for forgiveness is?”

 

“So you’ll take the aftermath? Whatever it is? Even then I still hate you?”

 

“Yeah, whatever it is. As long as it’s within my abilities” Sungyeol sighed. But then continue mumbles “And I don’t know why I even agree to this, I even don’t get to apologize and get my forgiveness and-”

 

Before he could continue mumbling, Woohyun push him down and locked their lips. And Sungyeol don’t even have a chance to push him away as Woohyun hand skillfully locked both his hand above his head. He can’t breathe when he shoved his tongue in. It’s so deep and he became breathless over that.

 

But then he senses it. The tingling feeling that pricks his heart. When Woohyun at last break their lip locking and stare at his eyes, he can’t help but allow him to smack their lips together again. It’s like Woohyun had clicked something inside him. And he could feel the same from Woohyun too. A buttoned what’ve been stacked closed in their hearts before this was pushed and opened some hidden door inside them. Sungyeol can’t clearly tell what the door is, but he can tell clearly the hard beating rhythm coming from his heart was so like when he’s in love.

 

He wants to deny it, this emotion that suddenly burst out loud in his heart, but it just pouring over that he cannot contain to stop it. Sungyeol let out a moan from the back of his throat when Woohyun all over in his mouth and deepening their kiss.

 

Woohyun lips then ghosting over his ear and down his neck. He parted his lips and bite Sungyeol’s white flesh. Deep. Sungyeol groaned in hurt. He could feel his own blood being out. He gulped hard trying to stand the sting without letting out much groaned voice. Woohyun let his neck go and come to taste his lips again. Harsher. The taste of his own blood was still lingering over Woohyun’s tongue. 

 

Sungyeol is out of breath when they at last parted. They stare at each other while catching their breath back. Woohyun give a last peck on Sungyeol’s partly opened lips that he think was to irresistible to ignore before let Sungyeol’s hand go and stand up.

 

“That was still not worth my time of devoting you, I should at least you and throw you out mercilessly. But… I think this is it, I’ve had enough. I’ve got over you and get myself someone worth to be loved”

 

Woohyun stare was so intense that Sungyeol come to believe what he said. He could not utter a single word for it.

 

“I don’t want to see you anymore Sungyeol. I’ll apply for a transfer somewhere near my girlfriend and we would start anew there. Just… if there a thing you can do for me, could you tell Sunggyu to approve my application? And don’t come near me. I’ve been doing well at avoiding you this one whole year. Don’t come in my life anymore, I’m begging you”

 

Tears flow down his face without warning. Accepting a good friend throwing him away sure is hurt. Dongwoo and Hoya must felt like this too before. And it must be the most hurt for Woohyun. So he deserves this. Sungyeol close his eyes and gather his strength to at least stand up.

 

“If that’s what you want” Sungyeol reached his keys and slowly walking out. Passing Woohyun that leaned with his head down on the wall.

 

“And one more thing”

 

Sungyeol stopped in front of him.

 

“I’ll never forgive you”

 

Sungyeol could feel his body shudder without even look back at Woohyun’s eyes. He continue walk out from that house and drive away from the familiar neighborhood.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

The tears won’t stop. . His chest was so heavy that he could barely breathe. This is not what he wants when deciding on apologizing to Woohyun. He wants to let his guilty out from his body. He wants Woohyun to know that he’s sorry for whatever he’d done.

 

But this? What is this? He should be okay when Woohyun told him to stay away from him. He supposed to be okay but what is this? This non-stop tears and crushed heart is nothing near being okay.

 

He stopped abruptly at the pedestrians. Crying out loud and sobbing like this won’t turn his time to five years ago and redo what he should do. He knows that, but what to do when his body don’t bother all that and acting on his own.

 

He reached home 30 minutes after that. The sun’s long gone and the sky was brightening by the full moon instead. He looked up when he’s out from the car, as if the moon up all his attention, he’s standing there staring longingly at the beautiful moon.

 

“Sungyeol, what’re you doing out there? It’s cold at night.” Myungsoo’s voice called him back to earth. He turned and just looks Myungsoo walking towards him from the front door.

 

The finger that slowly brushed his cold face became somewhat distance. Sungyeol locked his gaze towards the person that gives him the sweetest smile in the world. Both Myungsoo’s hand now resting on his full cheeks. Warming him up.

 

“Wae?” Myungsoo asked so slowly that almost close to whisper. He know Myungsoo hates being cold especially outside here like this, but maybe seeing him standing alone makes him want to join him unknowingly. And he sighed in content inwardly.

 

“Myungsoo…” Sungyeol counting the words that he want to spell out. “I don’t think I want to do this anymore.”

 

He sees how Myungsoo froze and blinking trying to absorb what he says. “Wha-What’re you talking about?”

 

“This. Us. You, Suzy, Myungmin and me. It’s supposed to be only three of you in this house, with no me. If there’s supposed to the fourth, it going to be Myungmin’s brother.”

 

“No… Why suddenly?”

 

“I’m not supposed to be here since 5 years ago”

 

“No. NO!!! What the heck are you talking about? Why are you bringing up the past? I’ve apologized to you already right? And you yourself agree to stay with us! So why?”

 

“Myungsoo, I don’t want this anymore. Please”

 

“NO!!!” Myungsoo abruptly drag Sungyeol in the house, passing the living room and right into his bedroom. Their bedroom. He harshly throws Sungyeol at the bed and pushed his back on the soft mattress.

 

The hard stare flaring right into his eyes. “I give you my all! My everything! What else do you want?!”

 

“I want you to appreciate me, you selfish ! Since the first time we met, the reason why you keep finding other girls is because you never treasure me well. You give me your all my ! What had you done to me last 5 years that I lose my best friends!! You made me loose everyone except you but you keep another girl too, what bull was that?”

 

“You’re the one that come back to me after that accident! You’re the one that said you can’t live without me! That you’re fine being with Suzy too! You’re the one!” Myungsoo shake Sungyeol’s shoulder to vent out his anger.

 

“But now I don’t want that! Let me go!” Sungyeol protest.

 

“Or you just found other guy that can treasure you well huh?” Myungsoo’s grasp on his shoulder become stronger. His voice is too low that making Sungyeol shudder from hearing it.

 

“What are you talking about? We’re talking about us right now. Don’t include others in”

 

“No, this thing surely has to do with a certain someone named Nam Woohyun. Am I right?!!” Myungsoo growl.

 

“No! This is about you, Myungsoo! I just don’t want to be with you anymore! Period!”

 

“Like I didn’t know that you just come back from his house. Don’t try to fool me! You’re going back to him right? Just so you know, I’m not gonna let it happen!” Myugsoo harshly pulled both of his wrist upwards, pulled a rope that come from nowhere and tie him tight on the bed head. Sungyeol panicked, but he cannot let his wrist free as Myungsoo’s so strong.

 

“What’s this Myungsoo. Let me go” Cold sweat running down from his forehead.

 

“And what’s this…” Myungsoo let out his scary smirks while tailing his eyes down at Sungyeol’s neck. He grabbed Sungyeol’s jaw and let his cold finger trailing over the bite marks that Woohyun give before.

 

“You even let him marked you huh?” Sungyeol then struggle when the hands slowly crawl and clamped his throat. He gasps for air desperately. Eyes rolled upwards.

 

Myungsoo let him go after making Sungyeol almost lost his consciousness. The burned feeling on his throat is too painful. He see Myungsoo getting over something on the locked cupboard, is that a syringe? And what those colorless liquid for? Myungsoo, what had you really done to me over these 5 years?

 

Sungyeol could just struggle helplessly when Myungsoo come over and inject the unknown fluid in his body. The effect is simultaneously.  He could feel the rushing energy dashed in his blood. His body shaken up too much from it.

 

“I should’ve done this earlier. I thought of giving you some space since you’re so obedient before, but I was wrong. Look who’s ing with other guy when I’m not looking over?” Myungsoo grab Sungyeol’s back of hair.

 

Sungyeol could care less of the pain, he can’t even let out a single voice. His body slowly turned weird and aching for a touch. For other’s warmth. His eyes turned color and he can only see a beauty in front of him. Myungsoo’s getting closer and closer with his playful smirks.

 

 

 

*

 

 

Sungyeol slowly opened his eyes. His head feel heavy. His body feels sticky. His lower half is killing him. He turned and sees Myungsoo’s sleeping peacefully beside him. He want to cry, but he must do something first. And, can cry will ever help him in this situation?

 

Nope. Totally not.

 

He’s limping going in the bathroom, washing in a dash because it hurts. Myungsoo, can he really not get over without beating and slapping? No wonder there’s too much old and new bruise all over his body.

 

A drug for 5 years sure making his mind lost its function, and he really do wonder why his brain does not explodes from all that drugs. Ah, maybe a little since he lost his memory after all.

 

He chuckles a little when tugging in a fresh new hoodie over. Watching Myungsoo from toe to head. Is life really this fun? Riding a roller coaster that’s always going down and deep? Sungyeol really can’t hope for the roller coaster to go up though. Ever again. Well, it's like he's not even fit to ask for it.

 

So Myungsoo, let's ride a roller coaster together huh? The cupboard was left opened and there's tone of it inside, the drugs. Sungyeol unconciously let out a devilish smirk that he never wear before. Let's put these little fellas to a good purpose, or rather to a person who deserves it.

 

It’s 4 a.m when he’s out from the house. Goodbye Myungsoo, Suzy and the lovely Myungmin. The road was clear from human or any vehicle.

 

Later, the dashboard’s clock shows 4.30 a.m when he’s in front of his old house. Woohyun’s house. He dialed his number while getting out from the car.

 

“Hello?” Sungyeol could sense Woohyun’s still drowsy.

 

“Hye there. It’s me. Could you come out a bit?”

 

“Huh?... Who’s this?... Sungyeol! What are you saying? Are you in front of my house?”

 

“Yepp. It’s just for a while and I really need to say something to you now.”

 

“Haven’t you said enough before? Just go. I don’t want to see you anymore”

 

….

 

“Just go!”

 

“Please”

 

“Fine! Just half a minute kay?!”

 

Sungyeol could hear a commotion from insides. Maybe he’s fuming and snapped at him here and there insides. He really couldn’t hides his smiles.

 

“What?!”

 

“Could you open the gate?”

 

“What? No! You said it’s just a talk. Talk can be done with a gate closed”                                  

 

“………Please” Sungyeol gives him the level 10 puppy eyes. It succeeds with rolled eyes Woohyun opening up the gate.

 

“Done. So what now? Didn’t I say I won’t accept your apolog-” Sungyeol suddenly grabbed Woohyun’s head and locked their lips deep. It’s a quick half a minute for Woohyun likes when Sungyeol let them go. Both of their face flushes with red color and heavy breathes.

 

“I… I love you. But, please be happy. I know I’m not fit for you. So please be happy with whoever you’re with..” Sungyeol walking backwards, ready to leave. “…thank you for everything and… bye bye” He turned and jumped in his car, start the engine and leave without looking back. But, from the side mirror, he could see Woohyun’s been struck to the ground outside his house.  Goodbye Woohyun.

 

He parked his car when it’s almost the time the sun to rise. He doesn’t know where he is now. His car is out of gas. When he’s out from the car, the fresh smell of grass greets him. It’s cold with the strong wind brush his slim body.

 

It’s enough. Love is not for him.

 

Sungyeol just wait at the center of the dark grey road. He at last smiled when the thing he waited for long come at him with a loud horn and flash light. Goodbye world.