Sighing, I toss my backpack on the desk chair and plop down with the gummy bears on the bed. I close my eyes, leaning my head back on my pillow. Why did this have to happen to him? He doesn't deserve this!

I hate the fact that he's laying in a cold hospital bed with nothing from the outside besides the stuff lion I left him.... and the letter on the bedside table.

My heart speeds up as I remember it. I can recite the letter word for word, as if it's something I've always known. I stayed up the whole night writing it, completely forgetting about a huge test I had the next day.

"Bro. Seriously what the hell are you staring at" a voice says, and I notice that hand mere inches away from my face. It's Yoongi. A frowning, worried Yoongi. But hey, what's new.

"When did you get here?!" And how did I not hear it..... 

He chuckles, leaning back with his hands on his lap. 

"About ten minutes ago" He says, finally after a minute of staring at his wrist for the time but realizing he didn't have a watch on. Nor does he own one. 

"But I just got here like three minutes ago" 

"I was using the bathroom"

"Yoongi. You can't just break into someone's room to use the toilet" I say with a loud laugh and his face gets red.

"It's Jimins fault! That little plugged the toilet!" He says quickly.

"Ah well...." I say in between fits of giggles. "He does that" I finish, smiling widely at him.

"Yeah..." he says with a small smile, and the room goes silent. He isn't usually this quiet, but recently he has been.

"Hey Yoong, you okay?" I ask and his eyes flash a shade darker for a moment, a frown finding its way on his face. 

"Yeah." Quickly but still quiet his voice says, looking down at his hands like they're the most interesting thing in the world.

"You've been so different lately" I say with a slight nod, his eyes shooting up to mine as he clenched his jaw.

"You've noticed?.. hawk-eyed bastard you are" he says with a chuckle and I smile a bit. Not big, just my lips pulled up slightly.

"So what's up?" I say, holding out the bag of gummy bears and he takes a green one. 

"I..." he says, munching the head off the bear before continuing, "I think I..." 

I raise my eyebrows at him, leaning against the wall behind me as I chew the bear slowly, rolling it between my teeth with my tongue, watching his tense figure. 

He's never been a man to hesitate, someone who's always gotten straight to the point no matter who's feelings his words hurt, so this must be pretty important to him. I stay quiet, knowing deep down that's what he wants me to do but my eyes never leave his. 

"I think I like someone." He says quickly, biting the inside of his cheek so he can't say anything else. 

"Jimin?" 

"How'd yo-"

"I've seen you guys hyung." I say. He looks at me for a moment, his jaw loosening a bit before his eyes slide slowly back down to his hands.

"He's your dongsaeng." I say and he nods, biting his lip. 

"Yeah.. and I'm not gay.."

"Hyung. Your not?" He thinks about it for a moment before shaking his head, somewhat accepting the reality of the situation.

"When are you going to tell him?" I ask.

"Between never and not gonna happen" he says with a sigh, shuffling a handful of gummys in his mouth.

"He'll find out eventually you know" I say but he j just looks at me with a blank face.

"No he won't. How would he? The only people who know are you and I, if he finds out I sure as hell wasn't the one who told him so your dead" he says quickly, his eyes wild and serious. His expression makes me laugh harder then it should, and I choke on a gummy bear only to his satisfaction. 

"You deserve it" he says with a weak smile, pounding his fists somewhat gently on my back while I cough. I smile bitterly after my fit of coughing has gone down, and he relaxes some seeing that I'm okay.

I'm grateful. I'm grateful for Yoongi. For Jimin. For our baby Jungkook, who hates when we call him that so we do it all the time. I'm grateful for the memories we've all shared, for the things we are, the things we represent. It makes me happy to think that they're all by my side. 

The happiness of my thoughts however die instantly when his question processes in my mind. 

"How was Taehyung?" 

I swallow, my head getting dizzy at the thought of all the machines he had been hooked up to, all the needles stuck in various places on his body. My heart aches for him, for all the pain he must be in. 

How will they take the news? I don't think the youngest could take it. I don't even think Yoongi can. But I can't lie to him now, and I'm the only one who knows what's going on because I'm the only one who's came to visit him so far besides his parents, I have to be the one to spread the poison. 

I guess he notices that I haven't responded yet, because I feel something sturdy on my shoulder, his eyes searching mine with nothing but concern. 

"Yoongi-ah..." I say softly and he winces, squeezing my shoulder reassuringly. 

"What's going on Hoseok?" 

Yoongi had always been some sort of a brotherly figure for Taehyung, just in a more reserved way. He never cried, and was always strong for those around him because that's just how he felt he had to be. 

"He..."

 By the time Yoongi leaves his face is puffy, eyes glassy with a broken expression on his face. I sigh heavily, looking at the door which he just left out of. Within a few seconds of what I guess was Yoongi being back in his room a figure is outside Baby Tae and I's room. 

I huff, rolling over so my face is in my pillow and hope they go away, but the pounding only gets louder and continuous. 

"Who is it?!" I yell finally, getting annoyed and the head ache that's coming on isn't helping much for my mood either. 

"Jimin!" 

I laugh quietly to myself, rolling off the bed onto my feet and open the door to see a worried, red faced shorter boy, his brown hair a mess on his head, undone and in a panic he must have rushed over here, not thinking about appearance. 

"Is it true? " he asks, pushing past me, breathing about a mile a minute. His eyes look crazy dark with worry and the smirk that usually always finds its way to his lips is nowhere in sight. 

"He told you." I say and he nods, swallowing.

"Does Jungkook know?" I say followed by a shaky sigh, sitting down on my bed. Jimin looks my side of the room, then at Taes. He raises his eyebrows at me.

"Why?" He asks, pointing at Taehyungs side.

"Have you met the boy?" I say with a shrug. I feel exhausted all of a sudden, the previous hours news sinking in more and more with each passing minute.

"Jungkook locked himself in the bathroom..." he says, trailing off as he scans his side of the room, almost as if looking at his bed for so long will make him appear on the bed, happy and healthy like he always was. Or so we thought... 

I shake my head with a frown. Why did he have to find out like this.

"What should we do?" He asks, the bed dipping under him as he sits on it, looking at me expectantly. I shrug for a moment before shaking my head.

I need to be the comforter here. I need to help my friends. 

"Should we just leave Jun-"

"No. First things first. We get Jungkook out of the bathroom. We're all going out to eat and maybe even a walk afterwards, we need the fresh air. We're going to be okay," I say, getting up off the bed and walking to Taes side of the room, grabbing his favorite over sized hoodie and slipping it on, instantly remembering how much he needs us at the moment. It looks only a little big on me, unlike on the thinner pale boy, who almost drowns in it. 

I always offer to buy him a new one, one that fits, but he always refuses. 

"You bought this for me years ago Hoseok-ah, don't you remember?" He always says, a flashing me a warm smile. 

I inhale deeply, breathing out through my nose and nod to myself before slipping on my black vans and open the door, Jimin shutting it behind me. We walk a few doors down, and I don't bother knocking.

Yoongi, who still seems bothered and upset by the news is sitting on his bed, hugging a pillow to his chest. The room is dark, the curtains blocking the sun from flooding the room and the bathroom door is shut, the orange faint light visible underneath. He glances up at me slowly and I try to give him a bright smile, but he only winces and lets his eyes slide back to the space in front of him, going unfocused. Jimin joins him on the bed, pulling him to his chest and I stop to watch them for a moment. 

Yoongi, who's always the toughest, has finally broken. Jimin... just. What have we all become? I tear my eyes away from them, focusing on the bathroom door now. 

"Jungkook?...." 

No reply.

"Jungkook?" I call a little louder, placing my ear gently on the door. I hear a small whimper followed by a quiet sob, but no clear words are spoken. My legs feel weak. 

I sit down and press my back against the door, tilting my head so I can still speak to him. 

"Kookie-ah... Jungkook I'm here..."

His sobs get louder, more uncontrolled and I find myself clenching my fists, not wanting to hear the younger one crying from pain. Even if it's just emotionally. 

"Please unlock the door. " I say, and for a moment there's nothing.

"No..." he says softly, voice croaky and hoarse.

"Jimin, push the curtains back" I instruct, and he looks at me for a moment before looking at Yoongi hesitantly, but does so when he finally nods, setting the pillow down on the bed. I sigh I'm relief and try to focus on the task at hand. 

"Please open the door...." I whisper, closing my eyes tight. My brains pounding hard against my skull, but it's nothing like the head Jungkook will have later if he doesn't stop crying now. 

He doesn't answer, but I feel the thing supporting my back slowly begin to move, and I open my eyes to see a small face level with mine peeking out of the small crack. 

I smile at him and get up, opening the door just enough for me to slip in, and shut it swiftly behind me, locking it again. He pulls his knees up to his chest, burying his face in his knees. Carefully, I read out to ruffle his hair, and he whines softly. It hurts seeing him like this, but knowing how much pain Tae is going through hurts even more. I in cold air through my teeth and unwrap him, and after a moment of struggle he molds into my chest, face buried into the orange sweatshirt. 

"Shhh..." I coo as he starts to sob, shaking uncontrollably. His sobbing turns into full on wails, and all I can do is hold him tight. I don't know what to say, all I know is I need to get out. We need to get out. 

"Kook come on" I say, trying to untangle his little hands from my torso but he's a lot stronger than I thought. After about five minutes struggling to pull both of us up with him still clinging to me I sigh.

"He wouldn't want you to cry you know" I say, kissing the top of his head lightly.

"Will.... he.." he says in between hiccups, let out a small sob. I pull him away just enough so that I can look him in the eyes, his grip on me never loosening though. 

"He's gonna be fine." I say, wiping the fallen tears on his cheeks with my palm. "Just fine."

He opens his mouth to speak, his small bunny like teeth poking out, but closes his mouth, not trusting the words that threatened to come out. He still has his arms wrapped around my waist, jacket balled up into his tiny fists. 

"We're gonna go out to eat okay?" I say, searching his face, but if anything all I see is pain and exhaustion. He can only nod. 

I smile at him, taking his hands off my waist but he cringes, so instead of letting them fall to his side's I intertwine our fingers. 

Yoongi and Jimin were already dressed and ready to go when we get out of the bathroom, so we make sure to lock his room door before heading down the hall.

The evening is quiet, somewhat sad, but peaceful in a way. At the little cafe we went to Jungkook never let go of my hand, but his expression did brighten up a bit. Yoongi became Yoongi again, scolding me for allowing Jimin and Jungkook to get a slice of the cheesecake for dessert.

Jungkook ends up walking me to my room once we arrive at the dorm because Yoongi and Jimin were really tired after today so they just headed to their room, bidding me a quiet farewell.

Jungkook and I walk in silence, him squeezing my hand every once and a while like he's been doing all day. I think that's his way of relaxing. 

"Hyung?" 

"Yeah?" I ask, opening the door to my room. He shuts the door behind him, joining me on the bed.

"What stage is he?" He asks quietly, his lips barely moving.

"He's bad enough..." I say shaking my head and he nods, biting his lip.

"Hey he'll be okay." I say, taking his hand and squeezing it. 

"Yeah. Yeah...." he whispers, frowning for a moment. 

"What?" 

"What's that smell?" He asks, frowning.

"What do you mean?" I ask, tilting my head.

"It smells like bleach" he says, furrowing his eyebrows together.  

I take in a deep breath through my nose, and yeah he's right. The room smells faintly of bleach. And then something pops into my mind.. something the doctor had said.

Coughing up blood is a symptom. 

"I don't know Kookie."

"You smell it too though right?" He asks, wriggling his fingers nervously.

"Not really." I say with a shrug like it's nothing. But I smell it a hell of a lot more then I had. And the thought makes me sick.

"You should get to bed babe" I say with a fake yawn, hoping he falls for it. He looks skeptical but after a minute nods. I pull him into a hug, his arms around my neck and he sighs when we let go. He's so light weight that I can't tell if the bed moves at all when he gets up.

"Thank you hyung" He says in a small voice.

I smile at him and he shuts the door softly behind him, it locking automatically. After brushing my teeth, ignoring the stronger then ever smell of bleach in the bathroom I climb into bed in my pajamas, his orange sweatshirt on still. I fall asleep to the once faint smell of bleach and the quiet buzz of Seoul outside our window.

Why couldn't I be the one with lung cancer....

______________________________________________________

So I decided to update today. :) if you haven't noticed which I'm pretty positive you have by now this is in Hoseoks P.O.V. I hope you all like it! I wanted to do something different for this story and yeah. The secrets out ;) please don't forget to comment! Subscribe! Do whatever you want. I'm so sorry for storytelling mistakes but THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READING!

P.s I love you Grandpa! We miss you so much! R.I.P. Thank you for serving our country!

Thank you to everyone out there who's had a family member or you yourselves who have been a part of our forces. 

(If you haven't seen it yet it's been out for like 4 weeks already but Go check Out VIXX Error MV. I absolutely love the song, I'm a huge Starlight, and yeah thanks so much!!)