Would anyone believe me if I told them? I think to myself, staring out the window in my world history class. The teacher, who gave up teaching a while ago is sitting at her desk, tapping away furiously at her computer. I lean my head on my arm and glance around me, Everyone doing something, but non of us doing the same like a class should.

A person in the corner is reading from a textbook, probably for another class, and writing notes, a few boys near the teacher are having a contest on who can hit the roof with thier pencil but are not allowed to use their hands, and a small group of girls, who formed in the corner are scribbling lightly in notebooks, every so often speaking to each other.

Looking around me, I can tell that non of them really care that the teacher isn't doing her job, and to be honest I find it sad. We're all here to learn, and yet all everyone wants to do is sit around and sleep or do other activities.

I sigh, looking out the window once more. Thoughts of last night flood into my head, and I feel my face go hot. I shift in my seat to relieve some of my back pain, letting out air that I didn't know I was holding in. Just under my ribs ache. They feel heavy and scratched up, and sore. Those two large sacks that expand under my ribs, the two things that hurt the most in the middle of the night when I'm trying to sleep, could only be known as one thing. My lungs.

Am I going to tell Hoseok what happened? No probably not. What's the point in worrying him over something that's possibly very stupid? There's no reason why he should look after me more then he already does, as a brother of course. That's what he is to me, a brother....

But that feels so wrong. In fact, I can't remember a time when calling him my brother felt right. We've always been this close, and I've had feelings for him for as long as I can remember. The thing is, I can't be gay. I can't have anyone know about these feelings, these sour feelings that are forbidden, but when it's just us, when I'm looking at him face to face or when he wraps his arms around my waist, it just feels to right.

If my parents knew they would never speak to me again. Yes, I have Hoseoks parents who are just as important to me as my own, and even though I know they would accept me for who I am I can't expect them to not be at least a little shocked. 

I've never shown interest in boys, but no one has noticed that I've never shown interest in girls either, I think to myself with a sigh, but I know the exact reason why they haven't. I've never shown interest in anyone because I've always loved Hoseok. My heart belongs to him, even if he doesn't know it. It always has.

And it hurts, because he will never know. I think what hurts the most is the fact that he thinks he's not good enough for anyone, especially for the girl he likes, and he thinks he could never win anyone's heart. Wrong. He stole it. He stole it with the first word, first glance, first touch. He stole it with his smile, He melted it with his full hearted laughter and breaks it a little more with every negative word about himself. 

I wish he would realize, that I've always been here. That to me he is perfect, and would never have to change. Why.... can't he see? 

"Hey is your neck okay?" A female voice says from behind me, causing me to jump.

I turn back to see a girl, who I recognize as one of the girls previously on the floor with the group scribbling in thier notebooks. 

"Yeah why... why wouldn't it be?" I ask, feeling very self conscious. 

She offers me a small smile, and pulls up a seat so she can sit facing me. Her long black hair shines in the line that's pouring in from the window, her skin illuminating at the suns touch.

"Cause you keep rubbing it" she says with a small nod, tilting her head slightly and shifting to cross her legs, notebook in hand.

"Oh no no I'm fine." I reply quickly, letting the hand that had been touching my neck fall to my side.

"What's your name?" She asks quietly, looking behind me at the idiots who gave up on hitting the roof with thier pencil and now are gluing text book pages together, the boy sitting on the end hole punching the pages out so you have to count to get to the right page.

"Taehyung." I say, glancing back at them just in time to see one of the boys squeeze a big blob of white glue and slap the boy next to him with it.

"Never have I seen people so stupid..."  She mumbles under her breath, her eyes back on me now.

Tell me about it, I think, rolling my eyes as the boys start yelping, the teacher frantically trying to grab the bottle of glue with no avail.

"What's your name?" I say over the yelling of the boys, causing a girl sitting near me, face smashed into the textbook, getting some shut eye to sit up and yawn, stretching her arms high in the air.

"Mikazuki" she says with a smile, flashing her perfectly straight, white teeth. I smile at her, jumping as something hits the back of my head. Turning around to glare at whoever threw it, I stop dead in my tracks.

A visitor had come in while I was talking to Mikazuki. Two actually. Hoseok and a girl who's about a foot shorter then him, talking to the teacher quietly. He smiles at me, but my minds too blank to even try and register what's happened until they left.

Hoseok wrapped his arms around her waist, his face in the crook of her neck, blowing slightly causing her to giggle as they grab a few boxes from a near by cabinet. She smiles, pulling him in and pressing her lip stick stained lips to his cheek, leaving a barely visible lip mark. But I see it. I saw it all. 

My heart starts to race, pounding so fast that it should hurt. But I feel nothing, nothing expect the cement in my lungs and a voice in my head telling me I should give up. And all at once something in me does. I feel nothing. Not even the gravelly shards of substance in my lungs hurts, but instead makes me feel alive. Makes me feel human. By now I'm coughing like crazy, Mikazuki at my side worried, but all I see are blurry glances of the world I once knew.

Time stops. Everything stops. I can't see anything now. There's a burning pain in the back of my head, every few seconds pulsing and exploding with pain no human should ever have to endure. 

What's happening? Where am I?

The darkness has already filled my world, flooded my body and evacuated my soul, leaving nothing but destruction and rubble in its wake. My lungs are almost filled to thier full capacity, meaning it's almost over. The madness of this world has taken a toll on my mind as well as my body, leaving me to wonder how my life ended up like this, in this bed with monitors hooked up to me, constantly watching. Closely watching.

Jimin, Jungkook and Yoongi may never understand. May never know what it's like to lose something so important to them, and yet, I know they have.

I only see a small white light, far far away. I don't move. The white light means the end of the tunnel, a new chapter, but it also represents one thing that can not be undone was too far gone. Death.

I'm not scared to die. Nor am I nervous, nor excited, nor impatient. I just never thought it would end up like this, could end up like this.

Did those marks mean nothing to you Hoseok?  Does the pain you put me through mean nothing?

But it's not his fault. No it's mine. He never knew how I felt. What would even say if he did? I don't know. All I know is right now I feel lighter, more alive and peaceful then ever. But that couldn't last. My little eternity was shattered by the world around me, reality stealing me back, tearing me to shreds with every word, every wake, every obstacle that is put in my way. All I wanted was to give into the darkness, but was rudely awakened by the light. 

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Hi guys!! I'm sorry it took so long to update... but I really hope you like it! Sorry for any spelling mistakes, and please don't forget to comment and go read my other stories as well!!! Gamsahabnida!! ( Thank you all!!)

Oh and today wasn't the best day, I was actually crying a lot, but thanks to a special friend I was able to be happier throughout the day, having those friends makes me very grateful for all the love and support I get in my life (and I'm grateful for everyone and everything in it) so thank you. Hope you all like it, please don't forget to up vote, subscribe (yes I see all of you subscribers and I wanted to say thank you!!!!!) And comment  because I'd really appreciate it. I'm also trying to update my other stories so look out for those too! Thanks again! :)