Jiyong Pov

No one knows this but I actually wrote That XX for Sarah. The closest people to us knows that Without You was written for her. I even wrote her a letter about it. But That XX was written for her too and that bastard I was talking about was me. There were so many times I wanted to tell her that I was cheating on her, that things with Kiko had ended but it had also started again. So many times I had hesitated as well because I know the minute I tell her, everything would change. I would rather her to believe that we just drifted apart when in actual fact, it was that I couldn't let go of Kiko. Kiko knew about Sarah however our relationship was complicatedly open yet exclusive at the same time.

Kiko was the one who suggested That XX as my title. She knew who the song was about and that I had written it just before breaking things off with Sarah. I found out about Sarah being in the hospital from Allkpop. It suddenly made sense why Youngbae was trying to call both me and Kiko. I couldn't even call him back or even see her in the hospital after she was better because I felt such imense guilt that I wasn't there for her and yet I felt it would better this way than to break her heart again and again. Seungri informed me that she had delusions due to her high fever and even thought Youngbae was me at one point of time. I knew that Youngbae never approved of our relationship and yet both of us did not care.

At first, I admit I got together with her cause there was this strange attraction to her but as time went on, I was back together with Kiko and could not decide who would be best to let go. The fever episode sealed things for me because as much as I'm a bastard for a cheating on her, I would be a bigger bastard for pretending to care about her when I was just not holding on anymore. Youngbae did confront me about the song but I just told him that it was based on an ex. Only me and Kiko knew that we never ended our relationship throughout the time that I was with Sarah.

I couldn't tell Sarah outright that I cheated on her so I decided to subtly convey it in a song and also in the MV. I could have gotten a different guy to play the bad guy but in reality, I was both. I loved her and yet at the same time, I cheated on her as well.

That XX

Walking on the street, I bumped into your man (Yeah I saw him)
I didn’t want to believe it, but my hunch turned out right (I told you)
He’s not wearing that ring you gave him, there’s another girl by his side
But I’ve said enough (I don’t wanna hurt you)

Now you’re getting angry with me (Why?)
You say “He’s definitely not that kind of person” (Sure you’re right)
Seeing your eyes, I reply that I probably got it wrong
See, I lied for you (I’m sorry)

I hate that you don’t understand me
I hate all this waiting
Let go of his hand (break it off with him)
When you’re sad, I feel like I’m dying

That XX, what does he have that I don’t
Why can’t I have you
That XX doesn’t love you
How much longer are you going to cry yourself silly?

When you speak of him, you look so happy (you look happy)
It’s good that you can be this happy (I’m happy)
You say you really love him, want to be with him forever
You trust him completely (I don’t know what to say no more)
Your friends all know that guy (yup they know)
It’s so obvious, why can’t you see (it’s you)
They say love is blind, Oh baby, you’re so blind
Please, I beg you, break it off

Oh I hate that you don’t understand me
I hate all this waiting
Let go of his hand (break it off with him)
When you’re sad, I feel like I’m dying

That XX, what does he have that I don’t
Why can’t I have you
That XX doesn’t love you
How much longer are you going to cry yourself silly?

Rap)
Expensive cars, beautiful clothes, high-class restaurants, they all suit you well
But that XX beside you, he doesn’t suit you, he really doesn’t
He smiles like a hypocrite with you, brushing your face and hair
But he’s thinking of another woman for sure, how dare he
The amount of tears you’ve cried, I want to make you happy by the same amount, baby
Rather than going through the pain alone, share some with me, baby
Please look at me, why can’t you realise that I am your love
Why are you the only one who doesn’t know

That XX, what does he have that I don’t
Why can’t I have you
That XX doesn’t love you
How much longer are you going to cry yourself silly?

That XX, what does he have that I don’t
Why can’t I have you
That XX doesn’t love you
How much longer are you going to cry yourself silly?

After everything ended, it was just awkward between us. We don't even talk anymore unless it is relating to work and I guess Sajangnim knew what happened even though we did not say much cause he promoted her to handle the social media for the whole of YG Entertainment which meant she was no longer exclusive to Big Bang. That meant less time being around me cause she was handling everyone else who was busy for a comeback at that point in time and also the reality shows that YG Ent got involved in.

That was the point of time that I wrote Black. Despite having Kiko with me, everything just felt bland and acidic like a cup of black coffee. Kiko did notice a difference to me and said maybe it is time for me to let her go for a little bit. I couldn't and I didn't because I felt if I let her go too, everything would really turn black for me. Teddy did ask me if this song was about Sarah, I just shrugged and he kept quiet. It's like me and Sarah's relationship or lack thereof is a huge taboo topic in YG Ent. The only people who did speak about it openly was the paparazzis as they have noticed less photos of me and Sarah being together. Sajangnim just dismissed them off by saying that she is no longer tied exclusively to Big Bang and the members hence she would be busy with other YG Ent artists and activities as I was in the studio working on my album.

Black

[G-Dragon] The color of my heart is black

It was burnt to black, just like that
I break glass whenever I feel like
And I look at my bloody hands and think, why am I like this why

Your smile is shining gold
But the way you speak, feel so cold
As time goes by, you’re becoming more like me
Sometimes I feel like karma is running after me, know

The real name of love is definitely hatred
Hope is the parent of disappointment and despair
Why didn’t I know that the shadow that has casted over my face
Was created from the light called, you

It has been a while since the time between you and I have stopped
Misunderstanding is always the cause of pain
Well I don’t even know myself
So my hope for you to know me is a misunderstanding itself

[Sky Ferreira] If you ask me what happiness is
When this life is done, maybe when this love is gone
If you ask me what happiness is
You’re smile out under the sun, but I’m always on the run

[G-Dragon] The color of my gloomy world is black
The beginning and end change, black and white
People are cunning, sometime become delusional
Really why am I like this, why

Those lips are red, just like red lies
As time goes by, the language between the two
The colors that each one has don’t mesh, yeah

The real name of love is definitely hatred
Hope is the parent of disappointment and despair
Why didn’t I know that the shadow that has casted over my face
Was created from the light called, you

Since I’ve met you agony is the only thing left
Everyday is series of hills of hardships and temptation
Now I sing of breaking up, I tell you
This is my last confession

[Sky Ferreira] If you ask me what happiness is
When this life is done, maybe when this love is gone
If you ask me what happiness is
You’re smile out under the sun, but I’m always on the run

Someday
When it all goes black
I might want it all back
But I know I can’t go back to you (x2)

[Outro: G-Dragon] I’m going to go back to the way I came from, black
The summer when you and I were hot, it’s been too long
Fade away, fade away, fade away, fade away
Fade away, fade away, fade away, fade away

Well, I definitely know that I can't go back to her and that will remain one of my biggest regret.

Finally we see Jiyong's pov! Do leave comments!